I am not doing well with two kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids behave better when they think I am not there. The refereeing is about having you pick which kid you love more (in their heads), so if you aren’t there, there is nothing to be jealous about.

Would it be unfair to just tell them you’ll take the toy so neither gets it?

That’s not fair to the little one. If he/she is playing with a toy and the older one pulls it away from her, how is it fair that you then take it away?

[Anonymous]

Just want to say we're in the same boat with v similar ages. Feels much harder than a few months ago when baby wasn't mobile and was sleeping more.

[Anonymous]

I have an almost three year old and 18 month old. It's hard. Our rule is no one takes a toy from anyone, if you want what the other is playing with you have to ask and offer an alternative toy to trade.

I separate them as much as possible. I set the older one up with an activity and let the younger one play with the "good" toys.

Also make sure they are napping/doing quiet time at the same time. The two hour break in the middle of the day is the only thing that saves my sanity.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry OP. I visited my SIL when she had a 3yo and a 1yo and what i saw literally made me decide to stop at one. That's parenting on hard mode.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just want to say we're in the same boat with v similar ages. Feels much harder than a few months ago when baby wasn't mobile and was sleeping more.

+1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just want to say we're in the same boat with v similar ages. Feels much harder than a few months ago when baby wasn't mobile and was sleeping more.

+1.

+2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just want to say we're in the same boat with v similar ages. Feels much harder than a few months ago when baby wasn't mobile and was sleeping more.

+1.

+2

+3. The one year old is a person now with wants, likes, needs and demands. And also mobile! Old enough to play but not old enough to understand that the Brio tracks the older kid just laid down need to stay on the floor. For us, 3/1 were the hardest ages.

[Anonymous]

Hey it could be worse, my best friend has three under three!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just want to say we're in the same boat with v similar ages. Feels much harder than a few months ago when baby wasn't mobile and was sleeping more.

+1.

+2

+3. The one year old is a person now with wants, likes, needs and demands. And also mobile! Old enough to play but not old enough to understand that the Brio tracks the older kid just laid down need to stay on the floor. For us, 3/1 were the hardest ages.

I'm that PP and yes exactly this.

[Anonymous]

Same. I’m so sick of the squabbling. It’s nonstop jostling for them to see who is the favorite kid of mine. And the boy is such high energy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids behave better when they think I am not there. The refereeing is about having you pick which kid you love more (in their heads), so if you aren’t there, there is nothing to be jealous about.

Would it be unfair to just tell them you’ll take the toy so neither gets it?

That’s not fair to the little one. If he/she is playing with a toy and the older one pulls it away from her, how is it fair that you then take it away?

Give the "wronged" kid an M&M in front of the naughty kid.

There is a book called 150 screen free activities for kids that should have ideas what would appeal to both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids behave better when they think I am not there. The refereeing is about having you pick which kid you love more (in their heads), so if you aren’t there, there is nothing to be jealous about.

Would it be unfair to just tell them you’ll take the toy so neither gets it?

That’s not fair to the little one. If he/she is playing with a toy and the older one pulls it away from her, how is it fair that you then take it away?

Give the "wronged" kid an M&M in front of the naughty kid.

There is a book called 150 screen free activities for kids that should have ideas what would appeal to both.

No! Way to make the competition and resentment worse!! Not to mention the choking dangers of giving a hard, round chocolate to a one year old and using treats as a reward like you’re training a dog to sit!!!

Not OP but I’m always looking for new activities so thanks for the book rev.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an almost three year old and 18 month old. It's hard. Our rule is no one takes a toy from anyone, if you want what the other is playing with you have to ask and offer an alternative toy to trade.

I separate them as much as possible. I set the older one up with an activity and let the younger one play with the "good" toys.

Also make sure they are napping/doing quiet time at the same time. The two hour break in the middle of the day is the only thing that saves my sanity.

But when do you let your older one play with the "good" toys? Wouldn't they notice if their little sibling was always playing with toys and they were always doing crafts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an almost three year old and 18 month old. It's hard. Our rule is no one takes a toy from anyone, if you want what the other is playing with you have to ask and offer an alternative toy to trade.

I separate them as much as possible. I set the older one up with an activity and let the younger one play with the "good" toys.

Also make sure they are napping/doing quiet time at the same time. The two hour break in the middle of the day is the only thing that saves my sanity.

But when do you let your older one play with the "good" toys? Wouldn't they notice if their little sibling was always playing with toys and they were always doing crafts?

The issue is that the older one prevents the younger one from playing with the good toys. The younger one takes a lot more of my time- eating, diaper changes etc. This is all time the older one spends with the good toys. When when we rejoin she is playing and the younger one obviously wants to take them but we don't let him.

[Anonymous]

My kids are 7 and 9. I wish I had better advice to offer than SSRIs, and liquor. But I don’t.
My kids even like each other.

No idea how other parents do it. Good luck OP.