A 6 yo family member has announced they're both boy and girl

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Please call Dear Cousin whatever DC prefers to be called on that day. Some people feel like they are girls or boys or both and we do not try to tell them how to be themselves. We just keep loving Dear Cousin as we always have."

Op here and thank you. This is the balance I was trying to strike.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I highly doubt this will be a problem for your own kids. If they are unclear or the other child wishes to be called with opposite gender pronouns they will ask. Children don’t carry the social baggage that we do.

OP here and yes, my child is confused and asking. I said nothing after the child made this announcement. Assuming, like you, it would not come up. But it has.

I believe gender is a construct but I am surprised a child this young would make such a proclamation.

Usually at that age it comes from the parent, not the child. Just tell your child to humor the child and call them what they want to be called but if you aren't comfortable with it, limit the contact.

[Anonymous]

I'll take a stab at this; PPs consider it a rough draft and feel free to improve it.

Your DC: "Why did Larlo say he was both a boy and a girl?"
You: "Yes, I heard that. I haven't heard him say that before."

DC: "Can you be both a boy and a girl?"
You: "Some people think so. (optional; your opinion) I think so/I don't know/I'm not sure/I don't think so"

DC: Is Larlo both a boy and a girl?
You: I still think he's a boy. But it's polite to call people what they want to be called, so we can do that for a while and see what happens.

DC: Why did Larlo say that?
You: I don't know. (Which is the truth, because you may only suspect you know why)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are all a little bit boy and a little bit girl.

Exactly. Smart 6 year old.

Yep. This.

Except it is not true.

It’s not true, and if it was true, wouldn’t we all have vague pronouns or switch our pronouns day to day?

[Anonymous]

I wonder if angry OP knows actual human trans kids, who in my experience all seem to pretty much know their minds often at an early age. The difference now is that parents aren’t going to be the sh!t out of a boy who wants to wear a skirt. The parents I know are supportive but no way did they implant this idea themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Please call Dear Cousin whatever DC prefers to be called on that day. Some people feel like they are girls or boys or both and we do not try to tell them how to be themselves. We just keep loving Dear Cousin as we always have."

I’m not transgender so what do I know - but I think this is good except for the last sentence. I wouldn’t include the last sentence. It probably hadn’t occurred to your kid not to love them so why bring it up.

[Anonymous]

^^^ I don’t know what happened in the middle of that paragraph. I was using voice text and Siri changed what I was trying to say. Hopefully you’re able to decipher the weird muddled middle of the paragraph

[Anonymous]

"Some boys like to dress up as girls and be called a girl. Sometimes they change their mind and go back to being called a boy. To be kind and polite, we need to try real hard and remember to say girl/she for now."

[Anonymous]

They have no idea.

[Anonymous]

When my son was 4 yrs old, he proclaimed to be a girl. His older brother - who was 8 at the time was irritated and asked his little brother why he thought he was a girl. My youngest son was unable to explain why but just said he's a girl. Over the next week, my older son told him he's not a girl and that God made him a boy. He told his little brother that its ok to like things that maybe some girls like but he's a boy. You can't just change from being a boy to a girl....

Interesting, my husband and I stayed out of it. My youngest son stopped saying he was a girl about a month later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Some boys like to dress up as girls and be called a girl. Sometimes they change their mind and go back to being called a boy. To be kind and polite, we need to try real hard and remember to say girl/she for now."

Yes, be very careful to make sure you communicate disdain. Kids won’t figure that out naturally. They have to be carefully taught.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Some boys like to dress up as girls and be called a girl. Sometimes they change their mind and go back to being called a boy. To be kind and polite, we need to try real hard and remember to say girl/she for now."

Yes, be very careful to make sure you communicate disdain. Kids won’t figure that out naturally. They have to be carefully taught.

I don’t think it communicates disdain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Good manners includes addressing someone by the name they wish to use, and not criticizing their clothing. I'm not sure if Cousin is trying out different ideas about how to behave or if they really are both boy and girl, which is a real way some people feel. But we don't have to know that in order to act in a loving way."

As a parent of a trans kid, can I just say how much I appreciate this? Seriously, if we just approached everything from a place of wanting to call people what they want to be called and not criticizing their choices simply because that's the loving thing to do, regardless of the reasons why they want it, it would all just be so much easier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are all a little bit boy and a little bit girl.

Exactly. Smart 6 year old.

Yep. This.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Good manners includes addressing someone by the name they wish to use, and not criticizing their clothing. I'm not sure if Cousin is trying out different ideas about how to behave or if they really are both boy and girl, which is a real way some people feel. But we don't have to know that in order to act in a loving way."

As a parent of a trans kid, can I just say how much I appreciate this? Seriously, if we just approached everything from a place of wanting to call people what they want to be called and not criticizing their choices simply because that's the loving thing to do, regardless of the reasons why they want it, it would all just be so much easier.

x1 million