A 6 yo family member has announced they're both boy and girl

[Anonymous]

My question is, how do I explain this to my similarly aged children? The child is now dressing ultra feminine and usually expects to be addressed as "she/her" but will sometimes prefer "he/him". To quote the child, "I'm both boy and girl".

The child is homeschooled thus has little interaction with other children outside of the family so I want to make sure I teach my children how to navigate this appropriately. I wasn't prepared and have said basically nothing on the subject but my eldest has brought it up in the days since.

[Anonymous]

"Please call Dear Cousin whatever DC prefers to be called on that day. Some people feel like they are girls or boys or both and we do not try to tell them how to be themselves. We just keep loving Dear Cousin as we always have."

[Anonymous]

Sometimes cousin X feels like a girl and sometimes like a boy or both. We show respect by using he/him or She/her or they/them as cousin requests. We love our cousin no matter which gender or both they decide to be.

[Anonymous]

I would say “Call your cousin whatever your cousin wants to be called, but your cousin is going through a phase and is too young to make such a declaration.”

[Anonymous]

We are all a little bit boy and a little bit girl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are all a little bit boy and a little bit girl.

Exactly. Smart 6 year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are all a little bit boy and a little bit girl.

Really. This is news to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are all a little bit boy and a little bit girl.

Exactly. Smart 6 year old.

Yep. This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are all a little bit boy and a little bit girl.

Exactly. Smart 6 year old.

Yep. This.

Except it is not true.

[Anonymous]

"Good manners includes addressing someone by the name they wish to use, and not criticizing their clothing. I'm not sure if Cousin is trying out different ideas about how to behave or if they really are both boy and girl, which is a real way some people feel. But we don't have to know that in order to act in a loving way."

[Anonymous]

Is this child intersexed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would say “Call your cousin whatever your cousin wants to be called, but your cousin is going through a phase and is too young to make such a declaration.”

Yes, make sure your kids know that it’s not enough just to treat their cousin kindly.

[Anonymous]

Be polite and call cousin what cousin wants to be called. They don't hang around other kids much and are confused.

[Anonymous]

I highly doubt this will be a problem for your own kids. If they are unclear or the other child wishes to be called with opposite gender pronouns they will ask. Children don’t carry the social baggage that we do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I highly doubt this will be a problem for your own kids. If they are unclear or the other child wishes to be called with opposite gender pronouns they will ask. Children don’t carry the social baggage that we do.

OP here and yes, my child is confused and asking. I said nothing after the child made this announcement. Assuming, like you, it would not come up. But it has.

I believe gender is a construct but I am surprised a child this young would make such a proclamation.