S/O Feeding people buffet style

[Anonymous]

Here’s how you handle it:

Rolls and salad are on the table. Everyone gets a small salad and their drinks at the table. This is when the group says grace, you take pictures, make a toast, whatever the tradition is.

Then the host and a couple helpers serve the elderly people. This is also the time to carve the turkey or otherwise partition other dishes so it’s easy for everyone serve themselves. Then everyone else gets up and make their plates. People get seconds as they want them. Note: It is much much easier to carve a turkey in the kitchen than at the table.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^PP again with the aunt/uncle who did this. They did have everyone going in and out of the same entry to the kitchen, but it just worked. We also didn't eat until everyone was seated, though the people who got to the table earlier inevitably snuck bites (grace had already been said anyway) Yes, it took a little longer, but your passing dishes around the table situation probably takes a longer than you realize anyway. It's family, and I assume no one is going to push anyone out of the say, so it'll somehow just work out I suspect. It always did for us growing up with a very similar set up and number of people.

Well yes, it takes time to pass all the dishes, but you're socializing with people during the time that you're passing, and you can start eating before all the food is passed.

I'm not saying our way is better, just that since I haven't been in a buffet situation with a group and house this size, I can't picture how it works.

OP, several of us have given you suggestions. It's hard to imagine something you haven't experienced and have assumed wouldn't work, so if you want to do this then you will just need to take a leap of faith and try it out. There aren't really a lot more permutations than what's been described already. If you don't want to do this, don't do this and ignore your relative's insanity (because her ask is truly bonkers).

I responded to someone who said "we put the food on the island". I don't think it's me "assuming" that strategy doesn't work in a kitchen without an island. A leap of faith isn't going to solve that particular issue. Other than that one post, I have only asked questions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here’s how you handle it:

Rolls and salad are on the table. Everyone gets a small salad and their drinks at the table. This is when the group says grace, you take pictures, make a toast, whatever the tradition is.

Then the host and a couple helpers serve the elderly people. This is also the time to carve the turkey or otherwise partition other dishes so it’s easy for everyone serve themselves. Then everyone else gets up and make their plates. People get seconds as they want them. Note: It is much much easier to carve a turkey in the kitchen than at the table.

I could see that working.

We never carve at the table, I can't imagine how that would work. I would imagine that you carve everything before you move to the tables.

[Anonymous]

I will add we placed rolls and butter on the table. It was the only food passed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^PP again with the aunt/uncle who did this. They did have everyone going in and out of the same entry to the kitchen, but it just worked. We also didn't eat until everyone was seated, though the people who got to the table earlier inevitably snuck bites (grace had already been said anyway) Yes, it took a little longer, but your passing dishes around the table situation probably takes a longer than you realize anyway. It's family, and I assume no one is going to push anyone out of the say, so it'll somehow just work out I suspect. It always did for us growing up with a very similar set up and number of people.

Well yes, it takes time to pass all the dishes, but you're socializing with people during the time that you're passing, and you can start eating before all the food is passed.

I'm not saying our way is better, just that since I haven't been in a buffet situation with a group and house this size, I can't picture how it works.

If it’s going to be so cramped or logistically difficult that people are stressed out about it, then you should just take the advice from the other thread re your relative. Recognize that she is being controlling, unreasonable, and ridiculous and that her insecurities are not your problem. This is a good opportunity for you to work on not placating difficult people who make inappropriate demands.

I think it's possible. Obviously if everyone else on DCUM does it, they can't all have giant kitchens with islands right? So it can work with a more normal space.

I just need more than a day to wrap my mind around it.

I do think that making a change to suit one part of the family's somewhat irrational need to feed their kids a certain way, at the expense of hosting grandparents' somewhat irrational need to pray with all their loved ones isn't the answer so we do need to factor that in too.

We've got time, this is about Christmas not Thanksgiving so I can mull things for a while.

You can keep the food on any level surface (well, other than the floor) in a buffet set-up. Kitchen counters work, a cold oven with the doors open, on the stovetop (obviously) and we’ve resorted to holding the extras that will be used for seconds on the washer and dryer in a mudroom. A coffee table in the living room works too, so long as there are no roaming pets.

[Anonymous]

Would anyone mind please posting a link to the original thread this one is referring to. I’ve looked but I can’t find it and I am admittedly intrigued. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Same as others here, we say grace before the buffet opens up. For us, this way also allows for nicer pictures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would anyone mind please posting a link to the original thread this one is referring to. I’ve looked but I can’t find it and I am admittedly intrigued. Thanks!

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1014393.page

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Same as others here, we say grace before the buffet opens up. For us, this way also allows for nicer pictures.

Do you take pictures during grace? I feel like I am missing a connection you are making.

[Anonymous]

You say grace before anyone starts at the buffet. After the grace, the host/hostess announces that he/she will be calling on people to go through the line, and please feel free to start eating when you are seated, then:

1) Invites elderly/infirm folks to go through the line, and asks for volunteers to make their plates/help them carry plates to the table if needed.

2) Invites parents of young children to go through the line to get plates for their kids and themselves.

3) Invites other adults to go through the line and help themselves.

4) Checks on everyone, and then goes through the line themselves.

When we have large gatherings, we put the food on the kitchen island/kitchen counters and the stovetop, and a sideboard if needed. That means people can eat at the kitchen table, dining room table, and card tables set up in the parlor and living room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here,

We aren't going to get past the grace thing on one of the holiest days of the year with some of our elderly family members. We just aren't.

I don't think we have enough counter space for that, and the logistics would mean the line going into and out of the kitchen would be through the same door. I just don't see how serving that many people off kitchen counters works in many houses.

Because most people have a kitchen island.

[Anonymous]

If you don’t have a kitchen island, borrow two card tables from the neighbors. Bam: a kitchen island.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you don’t have a kitchen island, borrow two card tables from the neighbors. Bam: a kitchen island.

Most people who don’t have kitchens big enough for islands don’t have kitchens big enough to set up card tables in. Are you really that isolated from the middle class?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Same as others here, we say grace before the buffet opens up. For us, this way also allows for nicer pictures.

Do you take pictures during grace? I feel like I am missing a connection you are making.

I imagine there’s a group shot of everyone at the table and maybe a photo of the turkey snd all the food on the counter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Same as others here, we say grace before the buffet opens up. For us, this way also allows for nicer pictures.

Do you take pictures during grace? I feel like I am missing a connection you are making.

no we take the picture after everyone is seated but before grace. I just like the look of the empty plates with the unused table setting around it. Plus we have some family that like to pile the food on. I don't begrudge them their holiday meal, but it doesn't make for the nicest photos.