I just DCUM'd my family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is a smart call and I am sure the hosts are secretly relieved. You can stay from morning to evening and just sleep and shower in your AirBnB. No biggie.

Or you can actually spend time at your Air BnB to get a break. It's really ok to do more than just shower and sleep there.

Yes. Why would they need to be at the relative’s house for 16 hours a day?

This. My mom and MIL both have this whole thing about how if we don't stay with them, they won't get to spend enough time with the grand children. And then if we do stay with them, they are complaining about how early the kids get up and how much noise they make, or they want to have the TV on to cable news 24/7 and god forbid that I suggest that perhaps the stories about bombings or war or sex scandals or whatever might not be appropriate for, say, a 5 year old.

They want a house full of kids but they don't want any of the responsibility or inconvenience that they know comes with a house full of kids. It's tiresome. We stay in an AirBnB and tell them they are welcome to come over whenever, and that we will be over to their place once everyone is showered and fed and in a decent mood.

[Anonymous]

Woo Hoo! Way to go!👊🏾👊🏾

[Anonymous]

I'm over here being relieved that none of my family has heard of DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is a smart call and I am sure the hosts are secretly relieved. You can stay from morning to evening and just sleep and shower in your AirBnB. No biggie.

Or you can actually spend time at your Air BnB to get a break. It's really ok to do more than just shower and sleep there.

Yes. Why would they need to be at the relative’s house for 16 hours a day?

My apologies, I was assuming OP liked spending time with her family. This is what I do when I go visit family but there isn’t enough space for everyone to sleep there. If you don’t want to spend time with them, you can stay in your hotel room.

[Anonymous]

Good job. I am waaaaay too old to sleep on the floor, so that wouldn't even be in the realm of possibility for me. I'm grateful my family are all cool with folks staying in hotels. My single sister usually sleeps in the host's home, but space for one person is alot easier to manage than for a family of four or more!

[Anonymous]

Op here, I do love spending time with my family! And a bigger house isn't an option - this is one the family owns. It was big enough when we were all kids but now that our families have grown, there's not enough space. When we were kids no one really stayed up late, now the older folks like to stay up very late, so piling the kids on the couch doesn't work. I feel a little bad. And I do like staying there, but as I mentioned, I don't get much of a break these days and need to be able to have our own space.

[Anonymous]

We are about to do this. We drive 8hrs a few times a year to visit BIL and SIL, but now our families include:

MIL
FIL
SIL
BIL
their 3yo
their 1yo
their 90lb dog
Me
Dh
DD3
DD9 months
our 75lb dog

I am going to get a shit ton of push back, but until the kids are a little bigger and happy to have a sleep over party in one room all together we need some space

[Anonymous]

Good for you!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is a smart call and I am sure the hosts are secretly relieved. You can stay from morning to evening and just sleep and shower in your AirBnB. No biggie.

Or you can actually spend time at your Air BnB to get a break. It's really ok to do more than just shower and sleep there.

Yes. Why would they need to be at the relative’s house for 16 hours a day?

My apologies, I was assuming OP liked spending time with her family. This is what I do when I go visit family but there isn’t enough space for everyone to sleep there. If you don’t want to spend time with them, you can stay in your hotel room.

Presumably you sleep during some point of family visits? We go to the hotel when it’s time to sleep. Pretty simple. Unless you were hoping to share a bed with your adult son?

[Anonymous]

Good for you! We are also getting a hotel for the first time this Thanksgiving. My mom and brother fully believe that a 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom house can comfortably accommodate

8 adults
2 teens
1 little kid
1 baby who is not sleeping through the night
and 4 dogs.

I'm opting out, and will sleep blissfully through the night with no babies crying, dogs barking, people walking around in the middle of the night to get a drink of water, etc. Not to mention: hotel pool!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is a smart call and I am sure the hosts are secretly relieved. You can stay from morning to evening and just sleep and shower in your AirBnB. No biggie.

Or you can actually spend time at your Air BnB to get a break. It's really ok to do more than just shower and sleep there.

Yes. Why would they need to be at the relative’s house for 16 hours a day?

My apologies, I was assuming OP liked spending time with her family. This is what I do when I go visit family but there isn’t enough space for everyone to sleep there. If you don’t want to spend time with them, you can stay in your hotel room.

Lol, you are the future parent or in law that will be a nightmare.

You can enjoy people’s company and not want to spend 16 hours non-stop with them. The implication that it’s either/or is dysfunctional.

[Anonymous]

Good for you. My own family is a hotel on visits family.

My exh family would find it so offensive and often piled 12-15 people in a house for a weekend. It was always terrible and made visits so unpleasant.

[Anonymous]

Awesome, OP! My ILs have a similar dynamic in that everyone (6 families) MUST pile into a tiny house with one bathroom and sleep on air mattresses that deflates overnight to somehow prove we love each other. 10 years ago when I was pregnant I put my foot down and insisted that we get a nearby hotel and I've never looked back. I *still* get sh*t about it, 10 years later and they *still* make jokes about me being a diva and a princess but I just smile and change the subject. I will never, ever go back to sleeping on the floor. I'm too old for that nonsense. And holidays are so much more enjoyable now that I have a place I can go at the end of the evening, have an actual bed to sleep in, and a bathroom I don't have to stand in line for. Enjoy your weekend with healthy boundaries!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is a smart call and I am sure the hosts are secretly relieved. You can stay from morning to evening and just sleep and shower in your AirBnB. No biggie.

Or you can actually spend time at your Air BnB to get a break. It's really ok to do more than just shower and sleep there.

Yes. Why would they need to be at the relative’s house for 16 hours a day?

My apologies, I was assuming OP liked spending time with her family. This is what I do when I go visit family but there isn’t enough space for everyone to sleep there. If you don’t want to spend time with them, you can stay in your hotel room.

Lol, you are the future parent or in law that will be a nightmare.

You can enjoy people’s company and not want to spend 16 hours non-stop with them. The implication that it’s either/or is dysfunctional.

Agree. Don’t understand these in-laws that expect constant togetherness.

[Anonymous]

Good for you! I am too old to sleep on the floor and it's awful sharing a bathroom with a zillion other people.