Son’s bball team is horrible—advice please

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your son doesn't sound like he's good, either. Definitely stick to tennis and football. There's nothing worse than than a team that places every child instead of making cuts.

His team put up 5 points. If OP's son was remotely skilled, they should have been able to score more by themselves especially in the second half when the other team backs off. A team down that much should be getting every possible foul call, so just constantly driving for layups should give him a ton of foul shots.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know that the team is bad. But that is okay too. As someone else pointed out this is a learning experience. This is a chance to see if your son is a leader and can help the other kids. Does your son rise to adversity or apparently like your husband - quit.

Not everything in life will come easily or naturally. A JV basketball team is an excellent environment to see what your son's character is made of - much better than when he is 30 and working a time sensitive work project that is not coming together and his job is on the line.

+1 This is a great opportunity for him to grow as a person. It’s not his main sport, and everyone who knows basketball will be able to read the team situation instantly, so he his ego should not be involved in wins or losses. He will impress absolutely everyone, including the varsity coaches for the MS and HS (who will surely be keeping tabs), if he sticks with it, takes it seriously and works to improve the team instead of playing down to their level. There is zero pressure here to do anything other than be active and a good sport, and he can have fun if he shakes off his frustrations. Have him watch the original Bad News Bears.

Thank you to everyone who responded with such great insights/advice. I really appreciate the help in thinking about this situation as a learning experience. It’s going to be a rough season, but I do hope that it build character and hopefully some skills.

[Anonymous]

Some advice for your kid:

Go hard in practices and games. You learn by practicing at game speed. Just because other players on your team are not working as hard -- or are working harder even, but are not as skilled -- is no reason to back off. Make the right passes. If a teammate travels or lets the ball go through their hands -- NBD. Get back on D.

Like many sports -- basketball is a combination of team and individual effort. Okay the team is not as good, but the reality is that your kid can work on the individual effort stuff all the time whether the team is good or terrible.

So -- practice dribbling at full speed. Driving the lane and making lay ups left and right handed. Get good at dribble and stop jump shots from 10 feet. Get good at handling the ball. All of that stuff your kid can work on all the time.

Understand that practice is not limited to official practices. That's a third of the time. The rest of the time is practice on your own. He should be working up a big sweat and be tired when he is done with practice -- both at school and at home. Lots of showers in his future.

And -- big thing -- don't be a ball hog. Maybe he is the best player on the team. If he has an open makeable shot -- great. If not move the ball. If his teammates lose it
NBD. Work in the flow of the game.

[Anonymous]

Op, you have gotten good advice. For some perspective, here is a good book about youth sports. My kids are older and were never serious about sports but I read it bc the author is an excellent writer. We also went to the same high school and graduated the same year (although we did not know each other).

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0374268010/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1636066975&sr=8-3

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your son doesn't sound like he's good, either. Definitely stick to tennis and football. There's nothing worse than than a team that places every child instead of making cuts.

His team put up 5 points. If OP's son was remotely skilled, they should have been able to score more by themselves especially in the second half when the other team backs off. A team down that much should be getting every possible foul call, so just constantly driving for layups should give him a ton of foul shots.

This. One good player can do better than this even with a horrible team. Your kid is not as good as you think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your son doesn't sound like he's good, either. Definitely stick to tennis and football. There's nothing worse than than a team that places every child instead of making cuts.

His team put up 5 points. If OP's son was remotely skilled, they should have been able to score more by themselves especially in the second half when the other team backs off. A team down that much should be getting every possible foul call, so just constantly driving for layups should give him a ton of foul shots.

True, but that assumes someone can at least in-bound to him, which may not be the case. Moreover, he might not be good enough to dribble through traffic by himself to the hoop.

[Anonymous]

My kid played as the star on a team like that and they went on to be undefeated in their third year playing. My son stayed good and got way better himself.

[Anonymous]

Look at this like a golden opportunity for your son to show leadership and mentoring/training skills. Advice him to work with his team mates to make them better.

In the working world having that skill set is what should get workers promotion to management because that usually teams to success for the company.

[Anonymous]

OP, my kid was in a somewhat similar situation in 7th grade. He was a skilled shooter who started for a good travel team, but his middle school team was very awful. He wasn't a point guard, so his catch and shoot skills didn't help his team when they couldn't even get the ball over half court.

The advice my kid got from his trainer was to stop paying attention to the score and instead to focus 100% on things he could do by himself to impact the game. He worked on getting a hand in passing lanes, picking off lazy perimeter passes for transition layups, blocking shots, poking the ball away from guys he was guarding, boxing out and going for rebounds, and crashing the boards and putting back his team's misses. He also learned to dribble better so that he could get a rebound and bring the ball down the court for a pull up three or a drive.

Rather than points (all that he previously focused on) we'd track his steals, deflections, rebounds, blocks, foul shots taken, and fouls (my kid wasn't naturally super aggressive, so he made it a goal to have at least a couple of fouls every game).

In addition to having more fun, focusing on his success in these specific things helped him develop into a much more well-rounded, confident player.

[Anonymous]

You have gotten some really good advice here. I hope your kid is not playing frustrated because you have allowed him to believe he's too good to be playing on this team and there is no benefit to it. If that is the case it will ruin the experience for him when there is actually a lot to be learned and gained from it if he is able to see it. Good luck to him! He has lots of years left to play at a higher level if he can find the grace within himself to handle this situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know that the team is bad. But that is okay too. As someone else pointed out this is a learning experience. This is a chance to see if your son is a leader and can help the other kids. Does your son rise to adversity or apparently like your husband - quit.

Not everything in life will come easily or naturally. A JV basketball team is an excellent environment to see what your son's character is made of - much better than when he is 30 and working a time sensitive work project that is not coming together and his job is on the line.

+1 This is a great opportunity for him to grow as a person. It’s not his main sport, and everyone who knows basketball will be able to read the team situation instantly, so he his ego should not be involved in wins or losses. He will impress absolutely everyone, including the varsity coaches for the MS and HS (who will surely be keeping tabs), if he sticks with it, takes it seriously and works to improve the team instead of playing down to their level. There is zero pressure here to do anything other than be active and a good sport, and he can have fun if he shakes off his frustrations. Have him watch the original Bad News Bears.

+1. You have a great learning and character building opportunity being handed to you on a silver platter

Also as someone who would have been one of the bad kids on the team I wish schools didn't have these requirements.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your son doesn't sound like he's good, either. Definitely stick to tennis and football. There's nothing worse than than a team that places every child instead of making cuts.

His team put up 5 points. If OP's son was remotely skilled, they should have been able to score more by themselves especially in the second half when the other team backs off. A team down that much should be getting every possible foul call, so just constantly driving for layups should give him a ton of foul shots.

True, but that assumes someone can at least in-bound to him, which may not be the case. Moreover, he might not be good enough to dribble through traffic by himself to the hoop.

Someone can inbound to him. The other team is not doing full press if they’re up by 20+. I agree OP’s son is not as good as she thinks. It may be true that a coach said something like “at least Joey is pretty good on JV, he should be able to lead the team.” That does not mean the same as he is Varsity material. OP, you’ve got a lot of good advice. Your son will learn a lot, including how to score more than 5 points as the start of the team. It will be good for him and maybe he will be good enough next year for 8th grade. Your husband’s opinion is horrible. That’s is no attitude to have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your son doesn't sound like he's good, either. Definitely stick to tennis and football. There's nothing worse than than a team that places every child instead of making cuts.

His team put up 5 points. If OP's son was remotely skilled, they should have been able to score more by themselves especially in the second half when the other team backs off. A team down that much should be getting every possible foul call, so just constantly driving for layups should give him a ton of foul shots.

True, but that assumes someone can at least in-bound to him, which may not be the case. Moreover, he might not be good enough to dribble through traffic by himself to the hoop.

Someone can inbound to him. The other team is not doing full press if they’re up by 20+. I agree OP’s son is not as good as she thinks. It may be true that a coach said something like “at least Joey is pretty good on JV, he should be able to lead the team.” That does not mean the same as he is Varsity material. OP, you’ve got a lot of good advice. Your son will learn a lot, including how to score more than 5 points as the start of the team. It will be good for him and maybe he will be good enough next year for 8th grade. Your husband’s opinion is horrible. That’s is no attitude to have.

Your kids must not play in DC. DCPS middle school basketball is all about being aggressive, and you will definitely have teams pressing when they are up by 20+.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your son doesn't sound like he's good, either. Definitely stick to tennis and football. There's nothing worse than than a team that places every child instead of making cuts.

His team put up 5 points. If OP's son was remotely skilled, they should have been able to score more by themselves especially in the second half when the other team backs off. A team down that much should be getting every possible foul call, so just constantly driving for layups should give him a ton of foul shots.

True, but that assumes someone can at least in-bound to him, which may not be the case. Moreover, he might not be good enough to dribble through traffic by himself to the hoop.

No team is pressing up that much unless the other team/coach/fans have done something to really piss them off.

[Anonymous]

One great player can make a huge difference on a basketball team. More than pretty much any other team sport. That's why even rec leagues have drafts.

If he only score five points, he's not that good.