Son’s bball team is horrible—advice please
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Anonymous
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My sons middle school has two teams for 7-8th grade basketball. Varsity and JV. Varsity is for the competitive players and JV is for kids trying to complete the school’s sports requirement, but are not competitive (and some just being forced to play). My son is in 7th grade. He’s athletic and competitive by nature. Basketball isn’t his primary sport (he plays tennis and football) but he loves to play. He was placed on the JV team after tryouts and was very upset because he really felt like he was good enough to be on the Varsity team (and all his close friends were on the team). Everyone who tries out gets put on a team. There are rumors amongst his friends (in the know with the coaches) that the coaches decided that my son was good enough for Varsity but they needed a couple good players/leaders for the JV team. And this would allow him more playing time. Not sure how true this is, but I know my son would not get as much playing time on varsity bc there are some excellent players. He would be an average player on Varsity.
They had their first game today and lost 48-5. The boys on his team can barely dribble, shoot or pass. It was incredibly painful to watch. The ball would get stolen as soon as the team gained possession and the other team would run/score. My son is no Magic Johnson but was clearly the best player on the team (scored all their points) and had no support (no one to pass to, no defense, etc) I foresee that every game will be the same. My son was so down after the game. I honestly feel like he is too good to play on this team because he won’t improve as a player practicing at such a low level. It seems like a waste of time. He is not a quitter and will play out the season. I’m upset because he’s clearly not playing with kids at his level, he won’t have the same chance at improving as if he were playing with kids at his level or better, and the losses are going to be incredibly painful. Any advice on how to think about this and support my son? My husband wants him to quit 100% (but I haven’t let him say this to my son). I feel bad bc the kids on his team are smart, talented kids in all kinds of areas—but they are SOO bad at basketball. |
Anonymous
| Wow |
Anonymous
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My son's team in 6th grade lost their first match which was an exhibition about as badly, I think with a larger deficit.
They ended up 5-5. |
Anonymous
| Learning experience |
Anonymous
| You can’t just think - my son is the top 5 -7 basketball players so he should play varsity. You have to look at what position he plays, how tall he is AND (this is what you are missing) how many better players are playing in his position. So my son is a good basketball player but isn’t tall. He okays point guard or shooting guard. He is the third best player in his grade but the two best players also are guards so he is not going to start. If he wants to start he has to play for the B team. |
Anonymous
| If the coaches wanted your son on the varsity team, he would have been placed appropriately. Let you son decide if he wants to remain on the team. |
Anonymous
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I know that the team is bad. But that is okay too. As someone else pointed out this is a learning experience. This is a chance to see if your son is a leader and can help the other kids. Does your son rise to adversity or apparently like your husband - quit.
Not everything in life will come easily or naturally. A JV basketball team is an excellent environment to see what your son's character is made of - much better than when he is 30 and working a time sensitive work project that is not coming together and his job is on the line. |
Anonymous
| Try out for a travel basketball team instead if your aren't going to treat it as recreation. The beat-downs happen at all levels, though. Playing for your school you can't pick your talent level. Did varsity lose too? If so how badly... |
Anonymous
| How do you know the skill mismatch will stay the same all season? Both within your team and between your team and opponents? |
Anonymous
| try different sports like under water knitting. |
Anonymous
By 7th grade, if a kid can't even dribble, they aren't going to be a decent player after a few months of practice |
Anonymous
You must squash these rumors with your son, and nip that negative mindset in the bud. If he was good enough to make team, he would have made the team. How he responds to this will determine how he grows as a basketball player, and ultimately, if he makes the team next year. He cannot control his teammates. He cannot control the score of the game. All he can control is his attitude, his work ethic, his mindset, etc. This is a great opportunity to teach him that lesson |
Anonymous
| Your son doesn't sound like he's good, either. Definitely stick to tennis and football. There's nothing worse than than a team that places every child instead of making cuts. |
Anonymous
+1 This is a great opportunity for him to grow as a person. It’s not his main sport, and everyone who knows basketball will be able to read the team situation instantly, so he his ego should not be involved in wins or losses. He will impress absolutely everyone, including the varsity coaches for the MS and HS (who will surely be keeping tabs), if he sticks with it, takes it seriously and works to improve the team instead of playing down to their level. There is zero pressure here to do anything other than be active and a good sport, and he can have fun if he shakes off his frustrations. Have him watch the original Bad News Bears. |
Anonymous
| tennis players always have mom's like this lady. |