S/O -- What does it mean when everyone ALWAYS comments on your (~minor) weight loss?

[Anonymous]

I am very overweight and find that people almost always comment on how much weight I've lost when greeting me after not seeing me for a while - even if I've gained weight. I think it's (unfortunately) just a proxy for "hello person that I like!", a default compliment for any woman to show that you think they look good.

[Anonymous]

Comments are invariably people just projecting. It has nothing to do with you.

[Anonymous]

I always wonder if I see weight loss whether I should say something positive to show support if that is what someone is choosing to do. I tend not to say anything though and based on the comments here, I think I will tread carefully.

But for looking for good intentions, I think some of it may just be folks wanting to be supportive and saying something nice.

[Anonymous]

OP here, and I did recently lose a lot of weight and almost no one comments and it's confusing me out now. I don't want them to comment, but since everyone always used to (in the 5-20-lb weight loss range), I notice that they're not. I had lost a fair bit by the time I posted the OP, but now I'm significantly thinner than even then. Basically... IDK, maybe 40 lbs total in the last 10 months, on a woman below average in height. And yes, I'm smaller than anyone's ever seen me, I guess, but still a designer size 4-6 on a short woman. Nothing outrageous.

Almost no one says anything, when before, everyone seemed to.

Again, I'm glad they don't, but now I'm wondering if it's because they think I look bad now, or if they're afraid I'm sick, or what? Curious.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I feel like people are becoming more and more aware of the potential pitfalls of commenting on weight. It’s just a bigger part of the mainstream culture than it used to be…more articles, more conversations like this one on message boards, etc. I personally never say anything whereas a couple years ago I would have. I have a coworker who lost at least 40 pounds recently, and I still haven’t said anything because it just feels awkward. But she does look great and healthy, I am just not saying anything. So that may be why you are hearing fewer comments than in years past?

[Anonymous]

I think people are becoming more aware not to comment on other people's bodies.

A few years ago when I lost a lot of weight I got a ton of compliments and to be fair it made me very uncomfortable.

I also got a little bit of criticism such as someone saying to me "oh you have lost so much weight. That's good as your stomach was getting too big". I just thought they were awful. However some people want to bring you down no matter what.

A couple even said I shouldn't go too far. I was starting to look too skinny. They weren't use to seeing me at a normal weight range so thought I was going too far. I wasn't.

Honestly I just wish people would not say anything although I do think most people have good intentions and just want to be supportive of you being healthier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I feel like people are becoming more and more aware of the potential pitfalls of commenting on weight. It’s just a bigger part of the mainstream culture than it used to be…more articles, more conversations like this one on message boards, etc. I personally never say anything whereas a couple years ago I would have. I have a coworker who lost at least 40 pounds recently, and I still haven’t said anything because it just feels awkward. But she does look great and healthy, I am just not saying anything. So that may be why you are hearing fewer comments than in years past?

OP here-- thing is, it's not "years past!" I got comments even within the last year when it was 5, 10, 15 pounds. And certainly before that. Some of these non-commenters are the same people who did comment about smaller weight loss in 2021, and I didn't see them in between, so it wasn't gradual for them. Some are different people, but the same people who commented other times I lost a little weight, or the same type of person/relationship.

Maybe it's just random.

It's fine, and it's better than the alternative-- as long as I don't look bad or they aren't worried about my health!

[Anonymous]

OP seriously. First your pissed that people complement you on weight loss and now your pissed that they haven’t? Obviously no one can win with you. I’m sure they all figured out by your facial expressions that complementing you on weight loss was a bad idea so they stopped. Your previous comment “it’s fine” is code for “actually it’s not fine and now I wish people noticed my weight loss” See a therapist- this a mental issue with you. You won’t be happy no matter what anyone says or does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP seriously. First your pissed that people complement you on weight loss and now your pissed that they haven’t? Obviously no one can win with you. I’m sure they all figured out by your facial expressions that complementing you on weight loss was a bad idea so they stopped. Your previous comment “it’s fine” is code for “actually it’s not fine and now I wish people noticed my weight loss” See a therapist- this a mental issue with you. You won’t be happy no matter what anyone says or does.

Ah, the weaponization of mental illness by a person with poor reading comprehension skills. Never change, DCUM.

[Anonymous]

(Don't hate me for saying this) I bet you have a fat face. I have a fat face and even 5lbs of weight loss makes me look SO much better. People don't mean to be rude and aren't trying to comment on my weight. They'll ask me if I'm wearing new makeup or got my hair done differently, but I know it's weight loss.