Desperate for help with picky kids

[Anonymous]

Try changing up how you prepare the foods they DO eat.

For example, if you usually prepare steamed green beans, try roasting them. Or steam them but add in butter and toasted almonds. Maybe down the road you could introduce another roasted green veggie like Brussels sprouts if they have learned to love roasted green beans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids (5 and 2) are picky eaters. And I've gotten in a rut trying to feed them because they would both rather starve than try new foods. Trust me, we've tried enforcing the "this is what's for the meal" and we rarely win that battle (many hungry tummies at bedtime before we gave that up). We've tried just putting new things on the plate and say we'd like them to try a new food (we've even bribed) - nada. Doctor always says as long as they are getting some veggies and protein and eating enough, we're good for now. But like... are we? The big kid is 5 now. I try to follow and read nutritionists like @kidseatincolor on Instagram and none of the tips are helping me - like swapping out favored food for similar ones in color/flavor. I hate serving the same things week after week and DH is getting tired too. And I use to love cooking.

What they'll eat:

broccoli, peas, maybe green beans, not really carrots
pasta, white bread, white rice, maybe corn
egg whites, maybe chicken, maybe ground pork or beef, bologna
most fruits

Got forbid we mix these in any way with one another. God forbid there's a SAUCE on anything or alongside it. Ketchup is verboten in my household apparently, as is salad dressing or other dip-friendly ideas. I can't bake a casserole (DH hates these) and while I rely heavily on protein-based pastas, it's getting old. And we have to avoid doing the same things they are eating in preschool which is difficult (basically a variation of the above).

Please give me what worked for you if you had severely picky eaters. I don't want to have white-foods-only kids.

This (bolded) is where you lost, OP. Yes, there will be some hard nights and "hungry bellies." They won't starve. But if you keep giving in and being a short order cook every time they complain, you're going to raise picky eaters. By definition.

My kid ate a very similar list of foods as the one above from about ages 2-5. She is tiny, skinny kid, so I just fed her what she would eat, offered other food but didn't make a big deal of it. Now at 10, she has a small list of foods she hates, but willingly eats most food. For us, one thing that changed was when she started eating school lunch-suddenly she was adding minestrone and sancocho and chicken drumsticks to her list of foods and asking me if I knew how to make them. Between school lunch and being around non-picky kids and wanting to be one of the cool kids who liked spicy food and wasn't afraid to try things, she really changed. I was raised by parents who never accomodated my food preferences and I think it set me up for an eating disorder because I was so used to being hungry and just eating the minimum amout of food needed to take the edge off.

[Anonymous]

I didn’t read all the posts. You seem to have them in a low fat diet. Some fat, butter for example, can make so many things taste delicious. Maybe a bit of butter, or heavy cream, or other creamy things like sour cream, may make some less tasty foods more acceptable. Eventually you can change that to olive oil or other healthy oils.

[Anonymous]

OP my kids don't sound too far off what your kids are like, but we do practice the "only what's on the table" policy in our house. Here's how I do it.

I will make a yummy pasta dish, and just set aside some plain pasta for the kids.

I will make Portobello sandwiches with basil aioli and the kids will eat the bread with butter instead.

They always have a plain carb. They always have milk. If I'm making a new meal, then I will cook one of their preferred veggies.

Worst case they eat bread & butter, a veggie and some milk.

[Anonymous]

Your kids eat way more foods than mine.
It might be a sensory issue.
Your kids pickiness is not your fault and them not wanting to try foods you love or lovingly prepare for them is not a rejection of your love for them.
Set a good example by eating a variety of healthy foods and demonstrate eating more indulgent foods in moderation. Don’t call call food good or bad, don’t call food choices good or bad. Consider serving food family style and when eventually a kid reaches for a new food, don’t make a huge deal out of it. Just act like it’s the most normal thing in the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t read all the posts. You seem to have them in a low fat diet. Some fat, butter for example, can make so many things taste delicious. Maybe a bit of butter, or heavy cream, or other creamy things like sour cream, may make some less tasty foods more acceptable. Eventually you can change that to olive oil or other healthy oils.

Same poster: wanted to add, I’ve read (and practiced) that if you grow some of your food, or pick it at the farm or farmers market or at the store WITH the kids, it helps them eat it. I can’t say if it’s worked for me, because as babies they ate almost everything. So I don’t know if it was the kids or the strategy. One of mine is getting picky while growing older, but now I can force certain foods. The rule is that some days we eat what we like, and others what others like. One meal for everyone. But again, easier to enforce because of age.

[Anonymous]

Your kids are still quite little. I wouldn't call the 2 year old picky at all.

For family meals, put all the food on serving dishes on the table. It's OK to keep things separate. Have your kids ask you for what they want from each serving plate. You can have a few foods you know they will reliably eat, but also other foods that you think just you and your husband are likely to enjoy.

[Anonymous]

Your kids aren't picky eaters.

[Anonymous]

You are describing my kid, basically, only she won’t eat vegetables at all. Maybe a single carrot, pea, or green bean occasionally. That’s it.

I realized recently that the problem is not that she’s picky. It’s that I don’t want to eat the way she does. And people are always like “eat with your kids! That’s how they expand their palette” so it stressed me out that she wouldn’t eat even the most kid friendly versions of the food DH and I like to eat.

So I am just letting go. We eat our food, she is always welcome to have done and well put a little on her plate or in her lunch so she gets exposure. But then we always have “her” foods available and make sure she’s eating plenty of fruit and decent grains and protein. And that’s it. If she wants more of “our” food it’s right there. If not, at least the food she eats is good quality and relatively nutritious, if not super diverse.

But yeah, it’s less a pickiness problem than a question of how to reconcile how we eat with how she eats.

[Anonymous]

My kids have the same sauce aversion (no ketchup, no gooey cheese, no hummus or any other dip) but will eat any veggie and meat. This is easily addressed by making Asian-styled stir-fried veggies(with just a bit of soy sauce in high heat to minimize saucy liquid) to eat with grilled or roasted meat and rice. Pasta can be in aglio olio style with added protein and greens. Pan-fried steak (chicken, mini burger) with rice and steamed veggies works, too. Adults can eat the same meal with sauce. Over time, add more variety and cook with them. Let them taste new food casually in the kitchen while cooking. That is less pressure than asking them to try new things at the table. They will eventually like more foods.

[Anonymous]

I think your kids eat a pretty good variety, I wouldn't overthink it. My picky DC eats no vegetables at all but lots of fruits ( I include tomato and avocado as fruits), no egg (except in baked goods) and less meat choices than yours. We saw a nutritionist who was unconcerned.

[Anonymous]

Make whatever you want. Put that on their plates. Throw down a side of peas or broccoli, a side of fruit, and a slice of bread. Be done and move on.

Eventually they will eat the meal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids (5 and 2) are picky eaters. And I've gotten in a rut trying to feed them because they would both rather starve than try new foods. Trust me, we've tried enforcing the "this is what's for the meal" and we rarely win that battle (many hungry tummies at bedtime before we gave that up). We've tried just putting new things on the plate and say we'd like them to try a new food (we've even bribed) - nada. Doctor always says as long as they are getting some veggies and protein and eating enough, we're good for now. But like... are we? The big kid is 5 now. I try to follow and read nutritionists like @kidseatincolor on Instagram and none of the tips are helping me - like swapping out favored food for similar ones in color/flavor. I hate serving the same things week after week and DH is getting tired too. And I use to love cooking.

What they'll eat:

broccoli, peas, maybe green beans, not really carrots
pasta, white bread, white rice, maybe corn
egg whites, maybe chicken, maybe ground pork or beef, bologna
most fruits

Got forbid we mix these in any way with one another. God forbid there's a SAUCE on anything or alongside it. Ketchup is verboten in my household apparently, as is salad dressing or other dip-friendly ideas. I can't bake a casserole (DH hates these) and while I rely heavily on protein-based pastas, it's getting old. And we have to avoid doing the same things they are eating in preschool which is difficult (basically a variation of the above).

Please give me what worked for you if you had severely picky eaters. I don't want to have white-foods-only kids.

This (bolded) is where you lost, OP. Yes, there will be some hard nights and "hungry bellies." They won't starve. But if you keep giving in and being a short order cook every time they complain, you're going to raise picky eaters. By definition.

Sorry, disagree, making your kid go to bed hungry, or any other kind of corporal punishment for not eating, is how you raise kids who are anxious about food. That anxiety is not going to improve their eating. They might comply out of fear but they aren't going to come to love variety.

Ellyn Satter is the way to go.

If you turn something like this into a corporal punishment issue, then that's on you. There is nothing wrong with saying, "sorry, we're having chicken and beans for dinner!" If kids don't eat it, they're not really that hungry. It sounds to me like you are the one who is giving them anxiety issues, by forcing them to eat when they're really not that hungry.

[Anonymous]

OP, you're kids aren't 'severely picky' eaters and really aren't picky at all (for their ages).

In this case, I'd just make whatever you and dh like, but make at least one side something they like. So everybody will have at least something they like.

Or even just give them simple meals (a serving of a protein and veggie they like) and you and dh eat what you like. I know some people don't want to make 2 meals but I mean like some chicken, broccoli and rice. Simple.

I would not force or with hold food. Why can't they eat what they eat at preschool? Then try fancier stuff on weekends. I mean, don't make this hard on you or them. They are eating enough (your dr said so). They will have more variety as they get older. I had a few picky kids and a few not picky, but they are older now and all adventerous eaters (and cooks!).

[Anonymous]

Your kids sound normal, OP. I heard of one 5 yo recently who would literally only eat chips and fruit snacks.

Would it help you to cater to them for breakfast, lunch, snacks, and then make whatever you want for dinner, to expose them to different things? And then a small bedtime snack like fruit, in case they eat nothing at dinner?

My understanding/personal experience is that kids really don't need 3 full meals a day and snacks. My kids end up not eating a lot of dinner most nights of the week, and it works out okay.