How Does a 45 YO Married Male Know He is Attractive

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you care? Seriously. I understand this is a concern when you’re on the dating market, but you’re married. Does your wife find you attractive? As long as that’s a yes, what does it matter if you’re generally seen as attractive?

I have spent exactly zero time thinking about whether I’m conventionally attractive since I got married. Who cares?

I assume this comes into play when women stop having sex with their husbands, and the guy is trying to figure out if it's because he isn't attractive. Or if he is being cut off, trying to see what his options will be if he cheats or divorced

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have kids (or a dog), women chatting you up when you’re at the park with them is a pretty reliable sign. Or chatting at the gym (assuming you are not wearing a mask- I find it’s very hard to tell someone’s facial features while they have one on).

Lol, at the gym I only ever talk to guys I am not attracted to. I exchange glances with those I find attractive but definitely do not go chat them up.

[Anonymous]

This is a silly question. Other than the extremes of attractiveness and ugliness, people are somewhere on a gradient and that too depends on the preferences of the person doing the looking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A wife who often initiates is a pretty good clue.

DCUM wives don’t initiate anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Short of asking out dozens of woman and playing the odds.

Would any similarly aged woman give off any hints they are interested?

Things have changed a bit since I was single.

He got real therapy after his divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A wife who often initiates is a pretty good clue.

DCUM wives don’t initiate anything.

Wrong! But you’d like to think so…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you care? Seriously. I understand this is a concern when you’re on the dating market, but you’re married. Does your wife find you attractive? As long as that’s a yes, what does it matter if you’re generally seen as attractive?

I have spent exactly zero time thinking about whether I’m conventionally attractive since I got married. Who cares?

I assume this comes into play when women stop having sex with their husbands, and the guy is trying to figure out if it's because he isn't attractive. Or if he is being cut off, trying to see what his options will be if he cheats or divorced

Lots of wives lose interest in sex: don’t take it personal this usually has nothing to do with you! Simply go have an affair and get all the sex you need.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A wife who often initiates is a pretty good clue.

DCUM wives don’t initiate anything.

You're just mad because we know you are an incel.

[Anonymous]

OP, you would know by now if you were attractive. I've been divorced for several years and in my 40s. I've dated woman from their late 20s to my age. You know by how people behave around you. With COVID it's harder, but still it's noticeable.

[Anonymous]

What an odd question.

Attractive to who?

Unless you are considering cheating, it should not matter too much. And if you are considering cheating, you are ugly in the most important ways a man can be appealing.

[Anonymous]

Seems subjective. I think you could start by using objective data. Do you have your hair still? What’s your BMI? Are you teeth decent looking (I’m always shocked by how bad people over 30 let their teeth get)? How tall are you?

Aside from that your face probably looks the same as it did when you were younger. So you should have some sense from that.

[Anonymous]

Why does it matter? There's a lid for every pot.

[Anonymous]

I have spent exactly zero time thinking about whether I’m conventionally attractive since I got married. Who cares?

Was that also the last time you put some effort in your appearance?

[Anonymous]

If you have money or a big d you are attractive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have kids (or a dog), women chatting you up when you’re at the park with them is a pretty reliable sign. Or chatting at the gym (assuming you are not wearing a mask- I find it’s very hard to tell someone’s facial features while they have one on).

Lol, at the gym I only ever talk to guys I am not attracted to. I exchange glances with those I find attractive but definitely do not go chat them up.

+1, the attractive men are actually working out, likely have girlfriends, and it feels disruptive to interrupt their count. If some fat guy is sitting on his butt, I have no issue asking him to spot-he's not doing anything better, so I'm not wasting his time.