Women are martyrs and men are weenies, Chapter 8,124

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not 10 am on a Sunday.

It’s 10 am on a Sunday as a parent.

His life is different now too.

He needs to accept that or gtfo.

Sometimes I need to see these posts to remind me that my wife has some redeeming qualities. Neither she nor I care if the other wants to sleep in sometimes

Glad nothing in your life changed once you had kids.

[Anonymous]

He sleeps in on Saturday, you sleep in on Sunday -- or vice versa. You need to a routine. Or you go take a nap this afternoon. Sometimes, you go grab your spot and take it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Uh, so let me get this straight. Your household income is dependent on one person. That person presumably wakes up early during the week and it sounds like on Saturday too. They are asking to sleep in 1 day. He is a weenie. Ok, got it.

Let's look at the other side. You are a SAHM and you have one child whose life is dependent on you as it sounds like you are breastfeeding. You are a martyr. Ok, got it.

Why don't you let DH sleep in one morning to feel refreshed and you can sleep in on Saturday so that you feel like you got your tit for tat.

If you continue down this road of tit for tat comparison, you will be here in 5 years, divorced, talking about how your DH is dating another young chickadee and you are struggling as a single mom. Avoid that.

This guy is responsible for 100% of your household income. Give him one morning to do as he pleases. It's not a huge give.

He’s not “responsible for 100% of our income.” I have significant income from investments. As if it makes a difference. I can’t believe how hard you people lean on that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Uh, so let me get this straight. Your household income is dependent on one person. That person presumably wakes up early during the week and it sounds like on Saturday too. They are asking to sleep in 1 day. He is a weenie. Ok, got it.

Let's look at the other side. You are a SAHM and you have one child whose life is dependent on you as it sounds like you are breastfeeding. You are a martyr. Ok, got it.

Why don't you let DH sleep in one morning to feel refreshed and you can sleep in on Saturday so that you feel like you got your tit for tat.

If you continue down this road of tit for tat comparison, you will be here in 5 years, divorced, talking about how your DH is dating another young chickadee and you are struggling as a single mom. Avoid that.

This guy is responsible for 100% of your household income. Give him one morning to do as he pleases. It's not a huge give.

He’s not “responsible for 100% of our income.” I have significant income from investments. As if it makes a difference. I can’t believe how hard you people lean on that.

Also to be clear, he gets every morning. Sometimes he helps with breakfast, but he can always bail and frequently does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not 10 am on a Sunday.

It’s 10 am on a Sunday as a parent.

His life is different now too.

He needs to accept that or gtfo.

Sometimes I need to see these posts to remind me that my wife has some redeeming qualities. Neither she nor I care if the other wants to sleep in sometimes

Glad nothing in your life changed once you had kids.

Oh, things have changed, our sex life sucks for example. That's why I said I have to remember the stuff we do right

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He sleeps in on Saturday, you sleep in on Sunday -- or vice versa. You need to a routine. Or you go take a nap this afternoon. Sometimes, you go grab your spot and take it.

Exactly. You need to nip this whole thought process of “I’m a sahm so I can never rest” mentality in the bud. Especially if you are planning on having more kids. Wrangling toddlers all day is physically exhausting and resentment will grow if you both don’t schedule down time for yourselves.

[Anonymous]

Both of you need to schedule periods of down time for yourselves and then take that down time. Presumably you both want to see each other happy so it can actually feel good for both of you to support the other in taking a morning or afternoon to relax.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Uh, so let me get this straight. Your household income is dependent on one person. That person presumably wakes up early during the week and it sounds like on Saturday too. They are asking to sleep in 1 day. He is a weenie. Ok, got it.

Let's look at the other side. You are a SAHM and you have one child whose life is dependent on you as it sounds like you are breastfeeding. You are a martyr. Ok, got it.

Why don't you let DH sleep in one morning to feel refreshed and you can sleep in on Saturday so that you feel like you got your tit for tat.

If you continue down this road of tit for tat comparison, you will be here in 5 years, divorced, talking about how your DH is dating another young chickadee and you are struggling as a single mom. Avoid that.

This guy is responsible for 100% of your household income. Give him one morning to do as he pleases. It's not a huge give.

I see, standing up for yourself and expecting your partner to be a partner = tit for tat. Let’s be real, any guy that was a SAHD wouldn’t expect to wake up early both weekend morning with the kids on top of the other 5 days a week. And if you are going down the road of fast forward 5 years with OP and her DH and divorce, he would be expected to pull is weight with the kids in joint custody and would be doing way more than waking up before 10am on one weekend morning so it benefits both of them to work this out.

OP, with your DH, it seems like you both aren’t communicating well. If you needed to be somewhere, or do something, why he needed to be up before 10, you needed to communicate that. If you are upset because you have to be up with the kids both weekend mornings, you need discuss that. If you are upset because “you would never sleep until 10am” but you have the option to do so and never taken it - that’s not cool. On his part, if you didn’t wake him up and didn’t say anything he could have chosen to go about his day but the fact he said something and “and I won’t apologize” means he was upset and instead of discussing it he threw that out there. Trust me, if he really felt there were no issues, there would have been no need to say anything.

[Anonymous]

My ex-wife would never get up on weekends either. She'd finally wake around noon, scream at everyone, and go back to bed. Fun times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re mad he’s sleeping until 10 on a Sunday? Jesus Christ. Poor guy. Women like this absolutely baffle me.

+1. Get some real problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re mad he’s sleeping until 10 on a Sunday? Jesus Christ. Poor guy. Women like this absolutely baffle me.

+1. Get some real problems.

Sleep deprivation IS a real problem.
—Not OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re mad he’s sleeping until 10 on a Sunday? Jesus Christ. Poor guy. Women like this absolutely baffle me.

+1. Get some real problems.

Sleep deprivation IS a real problem.
—Not OP

I am well aware of sleep deprivation. My six year old still does not sleep through every night. I have not slept in 7 years (I have two kids). My point was is that she is complaining about him sleeping in on a weekend. Grow up. She has one child. She should not have more. Someone sleeping in one weekday is not a big deal. My ex husband never woke up. Never. Never did one thing with children until kindergarten (and I was always a working out of the house wife with a career). Those were real problems. Sleeping in on weekend day? God, I would have loved THAT to be my problem. OP may want to get her weekend day to sleep in but this is not worth making a big deal out of. This is a minor issue.

[Anonymous]

I am a physician with SAHM and often work early in the morning and late at night.
Are you suggesting that people like us are not allowed to sleep a little more during the weekend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not 10 am on a Sunday.

It’s 10 am on a Sunday as a parent.

His life is different now too.

He needs to accept that or gtfo.

Sometimes I need to see these posts to remind me that my wife has some redeeming qualities. Neither she nor I care if the other wants to sleep in sometimes

Glad nothing in your life changed once you had kids.

I mean, nothing besides the hyperbolic absolutism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:More like chapter 10,006, My SPpuse & I HAve Abysmal COmmunication Skills.

NP, but holy mother of god we do. And I don't know what to do about it.