Wife And I Disagree - Baby Registry

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Many of our friends and family have asked but my wife has been telling them we have everything we need. I feel like maybe we should just send it to those who ask.

That is not an acceptable response, at least in my circle. It just means the person will send you something of their choosing, or (hopefully) a gift card. It’s fine to have a registry and share with people who ask. Your wife sounds super uptight.

[Anonymous]

When we had our first baby, people had asked for the registry. We did the same for others.

If you don't, people think the safest gift are clothes, and you will get a bunch of 3-6 months onesies which are way more than you ever need.

Listen to your wife.

[Anonymous]

People are going to send gifts whether you share your registry or not. Telling someone we have everything we need isn’t going to deter someone who is set on sending a gifts. So, if you want certain things, share the registry. If you’re happy getting a bunch of random stuff, don’t share.

[Anonymous]

I also agree with many of the pp. Make the registry but only give out the information if asked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People are going to send gifts whether you share your registry or not. Telling someone we have everything we need isn’t going to deter someone who is set on sending a gifts. So, if you want certain things, share the registry. If you’re happy getting a bunch of random stuff, don’t share.

This!

[Anonymous]

You can make a registry and let your moms / aunts spread the word - and get things you really want. Or you can not make a registry and get whatever crazy stuff your family feels like sending.

Do a Zoom shower or a Zoom “meet the baby”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just to elaborate on my response, wife is right in that she can afford to buy what she wants and is not looking for gifts, so it is rude. You are right that family and friends may want to send gifts. So they can send whatever they want to send without you asking for gifts. A registry is asking for gifts. If the people ask you what they can send, tell them then, or they can send what they would like to give.

-signed a mom who has never had a registry and graciously accepted presents that people wanted to give.

Yeah but honestly, as a gift giver, I want a registry so I can buy the receiver what they want and be done with it. I find it more annoying to have to figure it out on my own. So if I ask, I want the information.

[Anonymous]

Make a registry, make it searchable, give the info to anyone who asks. I usually give board books my kids loved that were published since I was a kid (we had kids 5-10 years before most of our peers) but lots of people like to buy something off the registry rather than gamble.

[Anonymous]

I typically google search for a registry before even asking the recipients.

It's so convenient and I appreciate that I can find it myself, buy something in my price range, have it automatically addressed and sent to the recipient and be done with it, without having to have awkward conversations with the recipient about if they would accept a gift, what do they want, etc.

I typically buy registry gifts a few times a month, so this is really helpful for people like me. I see a registry as a tool for the gift givers. If you don't want to give a gift, then don't.

[Anonymous]

I wish my family and friends had searchable birthday & holiday gift registries. So much easier to get people what they want and order and send it online.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Many of our friends and family have asked but my wife has been telling them we have everything we need. I feel like maybe we should just send it to those who ask.

That's so tough because that's always my first response ("we're totally set! We don't need anything!") But honestly people love buying things for a new baby and they wouldn't ask if they didn't want to get you something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I typically google search for a registry before even asking the recipients.

OP many people do this. Agree with PPs, make the registry but don't announce except to people who ask.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I typically google search for a registry before even asking the recipients.

It's so convenient and I appreciate that I can find it myself, buy something in my price range, have it automatically addressed and sent to the recipient and be done with it, without having to have awkward conversations with the recipient about if they would accept a gift, what do they want, etc.

I typically buy registry gifts a few times a month, so this is really helpful for people like me. I see a registry as a tool for the gift givers. If you don't want to give a gift, then don't.

Same! I search on my own and love buying off registries. I especially like giving practical gifts, so registries really appeal to me. I’m usually the one buying the diaper pail, thermometer, or butt cream. Because you need that stuff and you don’t need a frilly dress.

[Anonymous]

Your family and friends will want to buy you things, and they will want to buy you things you want. So they will ask if you are registered anywhere. When asked, send them your registry info. Some people really like buying off registries and you are saving them the stress of guessing what to get you. Some people will send what they want regardless of registry. Providing it when asked about a registry accommodates all types of gift-givers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife and I are expecting our first baby and do not plan to have a baby shower because of the pandemic and the fact that we moved and are not close to family/friends. She wants to do a baby registry ( for the discount) but buy everything out of pocket. I think we should let our family/friends know we made one and they can decide if they want to buy anything. My wife thinks it’s rude. We can afford to buy everything ourselves but I feel like many people would like to buy things for the baby. Who is right?

You are right - but only send the registry info if people ask. Wait to buy everything untill closer to the baby's due date.