Visit with anti-vax in-laws?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ideally see them outside if you can.

After 1.5 years, we did see my unvaccinated BIL and SIL. I know some people are willing to lose family over vaccinations but I decided I’m not & it had already been 1.5 years so I decided to agree to see them. We didn’t see other people indoors without masks for a week after that.

We are in a similar situation where MIL/FIL are vaccinated but SIL is not (BIL is) and if they lived closer we would have tried to come up with a compromise and visited them outside as well. They are DH's only family and otherwise we get along well. But they are actually a plane ride or multi-day car trip, so it just made it more logical to hold off. MIL/FIL flew up to visit, we will fly to visit them when kids are vaccinated.

[Anonymous]

Why can’t this be a trip to only visit the grandparents??

I really don’t understand why your husband’s brother’s wife’s parents have to be there. This would be weird period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband would like to visit with his family in November in Virginia for his birthday weekend (4 hours away from us by car). We haven't been there to see his family since the pandemic hit. His parents are vaccinated but his brother, sister in-law and their 2 kids are not. The sister in-laws parents are also not vaccinated and I'm not sure if they would be at any gatherings. The brother and his family all got covid a year ago and are very against vaccinations (but may have some lingering immunity) . My husband and I are vaccinated but my kids are 6 and 11 and are not yet. How would you handle this? I was trying to negotiate going at the end of November so that my kids would at least maybe have 1 shot of the vaccine if it's out by then.

Don't go. We are faced with locals [not vaccinated] at a Thanksgiving of a vaccinated local. We are not going and nor are the people who are our connection to that event. Plus other events ... If a DMV wedding venue has unvaccinated at 6 feet distance from all others including staff [except their household members] that means something. Friends have gotten breakthrough- can be like the worst flu ever.

Some interesting stuff came out of NYC recently.
One theatre that allowed unvaccinated with proof of negative testing on ages 4-12 has had covid closures. Over 12 vaccinated while others with no under 12's and no unvaccinated have had zero covid closures. So those vaccines work.

Aladdin covid closures https://www.npr.org/2021/10/01/1042623019/broadway-aladdin-closed-coronavirus#:~:text=Health-,Broadway%27s%20%27Aladdin%27%20goes%20dark%20soon%20after%20reopening,as%20it%20battles%20the%20coronavirus&text=NEW%20YORK%20%E2%80%94%20The%20Broadway%20hit,%2D19%20cases%20were%20detected.%22

[Anonymous]

I would see only the parents, not the unvaccinated people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband would like to visit with his family in November in Virginia for his birthday weekend (4 hours away from us by car). We haven't been there to see his family since the pandemic hit. His parents are vaccinated but his brother, sister in-law and their 2 kids are not. The sister in-laws parents are also not vaccinated and I'm not sure if they would be at any gatherings. The brother and his family all got covid a year ago and are very against vaccinations (but may have some lingering immunity) . My husband and I are vaccinated but my kids are 6 and 11 and are not yet. How would you handle this? I was trying to negotiate going at the end of November so that my kids would at least maybe have 1 shot of the vaccine if it's out by then.

Don't go. We are faced with locals [not vaccinated] at a Thanksgiving of a vaccinated local. We are not going and nor are the people who are our connection to that event. Plus other events ... If a DMV wedding venue has unvaccinated at 6 feet distance from all others including staff [except their household members] that means something. Friends have gotten breakthrough- can be like the worst flu ever.

Some interesting stuff came out of NYC recently.
One theatre that allowed unvaccinated with proof of negative testing on ages 4-12 has had covid closures. Over 12 vaccinated while others with no under 12's and no unvaccinated have had zero covid closures. So those vaccines work.

Aladdin covid closures https://www.npr.org/2021/10/01/1042623019/broadway-aladdin-closed-coronavirus#:~:text=Health-,Broadway%27s%20%27Aladdin%27%20goes%20dark%20soon%20after%20reopening,as%20it%20battles%20the%20coronavirus&text=NEW%20YORK%20%E2%80%94%20The%20Broadway%20hit,%2D19%20cases%20were%20detected.%22

I've never understood why exceptions are made to the "proof of vaccination required" for those under 12. Is the goal (of requiring vaccination for entrance) to stop the spread of covid, or to "punish" the unvaccinated? Because still allowing unvaccinated children will do nothing to stop the spread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband would like to visit with his family in November in Virginia for his birthday weekend (4 hours away from us by car). We haven't been there to see his family since the pandemic hit. His parents are vaccinated but his brother, sister in-law and their 2 kids are not. The sister in-laws parents are also not vaccinated and I'm not sure if they would be at any gatherings. The brother and his family all got covid a year ago and are very against vaccinations (but may have some lingering immunity) . My husband and I are vaccinated but my kids are 6 and 11 and are not yet. How would you handle this? I was trying to negotiate going at the end of November so that my kids would at least maybe have 1 shot of the vaccine if it's out by then.

Don't go. We are faced with locals [not vaccinated] at a Thanksgiving of a vaccinated local. We are not going and nor are the people who are our connection to that event. Plus other events ... If a DMV wedding venue has unvaccinated at 6 feet distance from all others including staff [except their household members] that means something. Friends have gotten breakthrough- can be like the worst flu ever.

Some interesting stuff came out of NYC recently.
One theatre that allowed unvaccinated with proof of negative testing on ages 4-12 has had covid closures. Over 12 vaccinated while others with no under 12's and no unvaccinated have had zero covid closures. So those vaccines work.

Aladdin covid closures https://www.npr.org/2021/10/01/1042623019/broadway-aladdin-closed-coronavirus#:~:text=Health-,Broadway%27s%20%27Aladdin%27%20goes%20dark%20soon%20after%20reopening,as%20it%20battles%20the%20coronavirus&text=NEW%20YORK%20%E2%80%94%20The%20Broadway%20hit,%2D19%20cases%20were%20detected.%22

I've never understood why exceptions are made to the "proof of vaccination required" for those under 12. Is the goal (of requiring vaccination for entrance) to stop the spread of covid, or to "punish" the unvaccinated? Because still allowing unvaccinated children will do nothing to stop the spread.

I guess they just don’t want to punish those who can’t get it through no fault of their own (under 12) - while also doing the best they can otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband would like to visit with his family in November in Virginia for his birthday weekend (4 hours away from us by car). We haven't been there to see his family since the pandemic hit. His parents are vaccinated but his brother, sister in-law and their 2 kids are not. The sister in-laws parents are also not vaccinated and I'm not sure if they would be at any gatherings. The brother and his family all got covid a year ago and are very against vaccinations (but may have some lingering immunity) . My husband and I are vaccinated but my kids are 6 and 11 and are not yet. How would you handle this? I was trying to negotiate going at the end of November so that my kids would at least maybe have 1 shot of the vaccine if it's out by then.

Don't go. We are faced with locals [not vaccinated] at a Thanksgiving of a vaccinated local. We are not going and nor are the people who are our connection to that event. Plus other events ... If a DMV wedding venue has unvaccinated at 6 feet distance from all others including staff [except their household members] that means something. Friends have gotten breakthrough- can be like the worst flu ever.

Some interesting stuff came out of NYC recently.
One theatre that allowed unvaccinated with proof of negative testing on ages 4-12 has had covid closures. Over 12 vaccinated while others with no under 12's and no unvaccinated have had zero covid closures. So those vaccines work.

Aladdin covid closures https://www.npr.org/2021/10/01/1042623019/broadway-aladdin-closed-coronavirus#:~:text=Health-,Broadway%27s%20%27Aladdin%27%20goes%20dark%20soon%20after%20reopening,as%20it%20battles%20the%20coronavirus&text=NEW%20YORK%20%E2%80%94%20The%20Broadway%20hit,%2D19%20cases%20were%20detected.%22

I've never understood why exceptions are made to the "proof of vaccination required" for those under 12. Is the goal (of requiring vaccination for entrance) to stop the spread of covid, or to "punish" the unvaccinated? Because still allowing unvaccinated children will do nothing to stop the spread.

It does help to have as few unvaccinated as possible (limited to those who can’t get it) rather than open the flood gates to all unvaccinated.

[Anonymous]

How many threads do we need on this subject?

OP 100% NO

What is the world? Your IL's are idiots and you want your kids spending time with Science deniers, MAGA MORONS, People who believe DT is a good person. H no.

Sure risk your kids getting sick for these idiots. Great wonderful parenting on your part.

Go on we know you will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why can’t this be a trip to only visit the grandparents??

I really don’t understand why your husband’s brother’s wife’s parents have to be there. This would be weird period.

+1. This is the solution.

The anti-vaxxers are choosing to isolate themselves. It’s not just my kids getting sick- it’s all the disruption that comes with it, including two weeks out of school. Not worth it when we are close to vaccines for them- I might think differently if it was a year away.

[Anonymous]

Husband *only* goes, if anyone

[Anonymous]

Agree with the previous posters saying to just visit the grandparents.

[Anonymous]

No. Do not visit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^ I wished they had Covid but as far as I know they didn’t. I think past Covid is as good if not better than vaccine.

Medical citations, please. What you "think" isn't relevant to OP or anyone else. It's statements like yours that keep people from getting vaccinated because "I saw on the internet that 'past Covid is as good as or better than the vaccine' so it must be true!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree with the previous posters saying to just visit the grandparents.

NP.

Easy to say, but could be hard for OP to do.

What happens when the other relatives just show up unannounced? "Sorry, we can' t see you, go away"? Ideally that would happen, but in the moment it's hard to say to the grandparents, "You cannot have these people come into your house while we are here." And outdoors sounds great, but if the unvaccinated kids of the unvaccinated parents end up playing with OP's unvaccinated kids, well, kids are great little carriers of viruses and there's no way the adults will stop them in time to keep them six feet apart....

The grandparents might have good intentions of keeping the visit to just them and OP's family but that could evaporate if others turn up and the grandparents feel it's rude or mean to say go away.

And frankly I'm not even a fan of being outdoors with anti-vaxxers who insist they are immune. They won't care about masking or keeping distance if they don't mask. And again: Kids.

OP, don't go. Sorry, but it's too risky that the other family members will turn up, or lay a ton of guilt on your vaccinated in-laws and on DH and you too.

Maybe I missed it if you mentioned this already, OP, but why can't the vaccinated grandparents come to visit you instead of your going to them?

Alternative: Four hours each way is not a fun day trip with kids but yes, it can be a day trip. You drive down, have lunch with the grandparents without telling the rest of the family and you drive back. It's a possibility but not a fun day, really. So I'm sticking with : Do. Not. Go. I'm really sorry for the grandparents but the other relatives are being idiots and ruining things for everyone including your DH's parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with the previous posters saying to just visit the grandparents.

NP.

Easy to say, but could be hard for OP to do.

What happens when the other relatives just show up unannounced? "Sorry, we can' t see you, go away"? Ideally that would happen, but in the moment it's hard to say to the grandparents, "You cannot have these people come into your house while we are here." And outdoors sounds great, but if the unvaccinated kids of the unvaccinated parents end up playing with OP's unvaccinated kids, well, kids are great little carriers of viruses and there's no way the adults will stop them in time to keep them six feet apart....

The grandparents might have good intentions of keeping the visit to just them and OP's family but that could evaporate if others turn up and the grandparents feel it's rude or mean to say go away.

And frankly I'm not even a fan of being outdoors with anti-vaxxers who insist they are immune. They won't care about masking or keeping distance if they don't mask. And again: Kids.

OP, don't go. Sorry, but it's too risky that the other family members will turn up, or lay a ton of guilt on your vaccinated in-laws and on DH and you too.

Maybe I missed it if you mentioned this already, OP, but why can't the vaccinated grandparents come to visit you instead of your going to them?

Alternative: Four hours each way is not a fun day trip with kids but yes, it can be a day trip. You drive down, have lunch with the grandparents without telling the rest of the family and you drive back. It's a possibility but not a fun day, really. So I'm sticking with : Do. Not. Go. I'm really sorry for the grandparents but the other relatives are being idiots and ruining things for everyone including your DH's parents.

It's only hard if OP and the grandparents have trouble setting boundaries.