Ignore or apologize?

[Anonymous]

I have given things, sometimes valuable, to family members and specifically said, "If you ever decide you don't want this for any reason please give it back to me." That covers it. If I don't say that, I don't expect it to happen. Ignore, or explain the concept to her and then ignore.

[Anonymous]

I’d completely ignore this. If DH wants to respond, he can.

A gift should never come with strings - especially the ‘give it back to me to I can sell it’ kind.

Good luck with her, op. She sounds like a peach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have given things, sometimes valuable, to family members and specifically said, "If you ever decide you don't want this for any reason please give it back to me." That covers it. If I don't say that, I don't expect it to happen. Ignore, or explain the concept to her and then ignore.

My mom and MIL do this with me and I really wish they wouldn’t. It is a lend, not a gift, in this case. Which is fine! But acknowledge it as a lent item. My mom and MIL both care deeply about things - antiques, family heirlooms, physical books. I don’t. And I end up forgetting who gave me what, and I break things and throw them away and get tired of the clutter and donate them. And that makes my mom and MIL really sad. It ALSO makes them sad when I turn down a “gift.” So I can disappoint them now by turning down a gift, or later when I get rid of it. I’ve chosen disappointing them now, mostly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have given things, sometimes valuable, to family members and specifically said, "If you ever decide you don't want this for any reason please give it back to me." That covers it. If I don't say that, I don't expect it to happen. Ignore, or explain the concept to her and then ignore.

You’re not giving gifts then, because gifts don’t come with terms and conditions, and especially not the expectation of return.

[Anonymous]

This is ridiculous. Your MIL has no hold over a gift once it is given. What you do with it, who you give it to etc, is ENTIRELY your business and none of hers.

It's not like she gave you an heirloom set of silverware that she hoped would be passed on through the generations and you gave it to Goodwill.

She has lost perspective.

[Anonymous]

Give your MIL $20 and tell her it is for her share of the fisher price record player. Apologize for being insensitive and ask her if there are any other toys that she has given that she expects you to sell and pay her for, so that you are clear in the future. Do this with sincerity and she how she responds. Will be worth the $20.

[Anonymous]

Ignore.

This is obnoxious.