Forum Index
»
Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers
Stop at 3 or go for #4?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| We are wrestling with the question of whether to go for our fourth. We both always wanted 4. We've been blessed with three healthy boys (5, 3, 1) who bring us joy, frustration and exhaustion. Wondering how much more we have to give, is it time to stop? Can we make it through baby boot camp one more time? Can I, as a SAHM, keep my sense of humor and maintain patience while pregnant at 40 and dealing with all the demands of the early years...? Is it fair to them to add another? Would DH and I ever find time alone together again? Thinking of stopping makes me feel incomplete, but also brings a sense of relief. Anyone else struggled with this? Clearly only we can answer the question for ourselves, but I'd love to hear others' thoughts and how they made their decisions in a similar situation. |
Anonymous
All i can say is YOU GO GIRL !!!  God bless you !!!
But honestly, if we could do it financially, we would - but cannot - I have 5 siblings and love them all so much, I feel so blessed to have come from a large family. If you are ready for the minivan (but u probably already have that)....and hubby is on board. Do not stop at Go, Do not collect $200....GO FOR IT !! I am sure life is chaos already, what is a tiny bit more - you sound like you can manage - and something tells me, you might get lucky with a girl 
Good Luck ! and enjoy the journey !!! |
Anonymous
|
We did it-- and are so very glad that we did. However, I will be truthful and tell you that we have essentially no time for each other. I do think that my kids feel a little like the pie is not big enough sometimes- you know?
We had 3 boys and now also have a girl which felt like a bonus. We were seriously prepared for boy #4 and would have been very grateful if that was who came to be. For the record- it is a financial struggle and we are public schools all the way with kids doubling up in rooms etc. Another 5 years out of the workforce seems a small price to pay for the feeling of beautiful completion she has brought to all of us. Good luck! |
Anonymous
|
I honestly believe that you will know when you are Done. It's a peaceful feeling when you realize your family is complete.
Good luck. |
Anonymous
|
3 is more than enough!
It is hard to sit in the traffic on the I-66 and think what this place needs is more people... |
Anonymous
Why did you have children then? |
Anonymous
This says it all. It's brilliant in its simplicity. It can be true whether you have one (as I do), three, or seven. Don't poll us, your sister or your mom friends. You know in your heart what's right for your family. |
Anonymous
| My brain SCREAMED at thought of 4 children....but if you can afford them independently, then I suppoe, why not! |
Anonymous
Because otherwise the super-breeders would have completely dominated the future gene pool. |
Anonymous
Yawn 
|
Anonymous
It was only after we had a second that we realized that actually we had been done after one. Too late! |
Anonymous
| If pregnancy were easy for me and I didn;t suffer from some significant PP depression, I'd love to have more than my 2, but know that for my sanity alone, I can't do more than my 2, plus, when baby #2 was a wee one (weeks old), I knew then that I was done. I remember fighting with him to nurse and giving up because I didn't want my last baby experience to be so miserable (for me or the baby). I think you'll know when you know. More power to you. My SIL is from a family of 5 and they always seemed to have such a fun upbringing, whereas I had just the one sibling and we didn't always get along. Now as adults, my SILs family does a whole family vacation every other year and all the cousins have fun together and the adult children have fun as well. |
Anonymous
Truly? I don't mean to hijack, but can you talk about this a little bit? I've been worried about it for myself. . . . |
Anonymous
|
I am one of five. My mother said that after three, it doesn't matter how many more you have, it just doesn't seem to get any harder. I have heard this from other parents with more than three.
I can tell you that my siblings are my best friends in the world, we are all very close, and always there for each other. It's sad that none of us live near each other, but it doesn't take away from our relationship. We are always there for each other, and support one another. We also make each other laugh, as we all share the same sense of humor. I wish I could have more than the two I have now. I feel as if I am short changing them, as they will only have each other. We do think about adopting, and older children, but we haven't come to any real decisions or deadlines for that. I say go for it. |
Anonymous
I never had any sense about what the "right number" was. We had a second largely because we were worried about having an only child and we thought two was better than one. With hindsight they probably lose as much as they gain from having another sibling. Or at least they are worse off in the short term, better in the long. Maybe I/they will feel different in a few years' time. But there is a real impact on your career as a woman. One is doable, two is really hard without letting either your family or work take a backseat. Plus the impact on your marriage - you have so much less time together. |