Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!
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Anonymous
| How about Maisie... only one child. |
Anonymous
Maisie's a quiet little girl, but with a lot of spunk. She's a cutie, but also isn't afraid to rough-house with her boy friends; however, she's an angel around mom. She takes an interest in music early on, but goes for the eclectic stuff -- drums, metal, etc. However, she also loves dressing like a girlie-girl. You and your husband are proud of the A's she brings home, but wish that the other kids were on her level. After all, her sarcasm is so advanced (but very cute and spot-on) that the majority of kids don't get her. Not to worry; she's off to newest, most progressive private school for enrichment and private Gujarati and Igbo lessons. Maisie is unique, after all, but a sweetheart who will, you worry, grow up to be a popular girl with "SENIOR GIRLS FIELD HOCKEY" scrawled on the back of an SUV, a linebacker boyfriend from a (gasp!) conservative family and a liberal arts degree in something totally non-interdisciplinary and boring like English. |
Anonymous
It didn't take you very long to agree on Christian so you are pretty confident that it will be a girl this time around and that her name will be Juliet. You both like it. It's pretty, it's Shakespeare classy, and it's not too long (that's your one regret about Christian). But when you find out you are having twin girls, the naming game suddenly becomes trickier. You don't want them to be too matchey or cutesy, but you want them to go together. Your husband will stop pushing for Declan and start pushing for Savannah. You're not sure where he got that idea, but he is sold on it and you just don't think it goes well with Juliet or Christian. You will eventually decide to go with family names and end up naming your girls Rebecca and Elizabeth. Solid, classic, and individual names that will grow with your girls while also honoring your grandmother and his great aunt. Family is very important to both of you and you spend at least one weekend a month visiting his parents in Philadelphia or your family in Richmond. In fact, when you got that first job offer in DC it seemed like divine intervention. You would finally be able to leave Rochester and you would be halfway between your families. Christian is a happy and energetic three year old. He occasionally bites other children, but you are confident that will go away if you just ignore it. You love doing swim classes with him every Saturday morning, but you also love having Sunday mornings to yourself while your husband takes him out for their weekly doughnut/park date. You and your husband also have a regular date night. Every other Wednesday for dinner out. You love those dinners together and occasionally have friends join you, but usually its just the two of you and that is perfect. That's doesn't mean everything is perfect. Your husband is frequently distracted and stressed out by his job. You keep thinking it will get better, but it never does. There is always a new crisis and you are starting to wonder if he is in the right job, but you would never say that out loud. The money is good, the job is pretty secure, and you have plans for a bigger house before the babies arrive. Your weaknesses are chick flicks, white wine with an ice cube, and Matt Damon. Your husband's weakness is Call of Duty. He can not get enough of that game and you worry about that. You live in Bowie, but your dream would be to live in NoVA. You doubt that will ever happen. |
Anonymous
You are a Korean American couple who moved to DC for graduate school (Georgetown Law for him, Georgetown Med for you). You were surprised by how much you fell in love with the DC area after having grown up in California (you) and Michigan (him). Your parents weren't thrilled about that decision, especially once the grand kids arrived and your in-laws actually relocated to Rockville two years ago. They keep urging you to move to Rockville, too, but you are happy in Glover Park. Arthur is in fourth grade, loves science, is a whiz with Lego robotics, and has frequent nightmares from all of the Rick Riordan books he reads. Tess is in second grade and loves any and all crafty things. This puzzles you since it is not your forte, but you order lots of crafts kits from Amazon and sign her up for art and pottery classes. Your mother and your mother-in-law think you are too indulgent and think you should insist that both kids take violin, but you just don't have the energy or desire to fight that battle after a long day of dealing with whiny pregnant patients. They are also disappointed about the fact that you don't speak Korean with them. When you were pregnant and anticipating parenthood, you were sure you would but it just didn't happen and now it would just take too much time and effort. Let the grandparents teach them if they want them to learn. It also bothers your mother that you allow your mother-in-law to cook for your family several times a week. She doesn't understand why you have to work full-time. You have a maid who comes once a week, but you don't trust her and frequently find yourself cursing her under your breath because there were dust bunnies under the dining room table again, but you don't have the courage to confront her or fire her. You hate conflict which also explains why you have never told your husband that you hate when he clips his toenails in the bathtub. You love Italian food, you have season tickets for the Kennedy Center, and you hate Karoke. |
Anonymous
Emery is a family name, your mother's maiden name and you have always loved it. You weren't sure if your husband would go for it, but he did. Emmy is friendly and outgoing with lots of friends. Her preschool teachers always commented on how easily she transitioned between activities and that she rarely seemed to have any conflicts with classmates, but her kindergarten teacher this year sent home several notes about concerns with attention issues in the classroom. You didn't really like the teacher so you don't trust her opinion, but you have started to notice that she doesn't seem to focus on things for as long as her friends do during playdates. You dress Emmy in Hanna Anderson, Tea, and Mini Boden because you can't stand the raunchy stuff that some people put little girls in and you want her to have comfortable clothes that will last for more than just one season. You have one matching mother/daughter Hanna outfit that wore for Christmas cards two years ago and you would actually love to do that every year but you know that some people think that is cheesy. You worry about others opinions of you and you hate that about yourself. You hope that will dissipate as you get older but right now it drives many of your decisions. When you were househunting, your husband kept pushing you look at South Arlington houses, but you insisted on being in North Arlington. You said it was for the schools, but really it is because you were worried about what people would say if you bought at house in South Arlington. Despite, this anxiety, you go out of your way to be helpful. You are a regular volunteer at Emmy's school, you host parties for your husband's office, you help out with the big neighborhood garage sale and annual block party. And despite your fears, you are genuinely like by everyone who meets you. You are one of those people who always makes a good first impression. Your husband still talks about the time he first met you. It amazes you that after all these years together he is still so attracted to you, but he is. Enjoy it, that's not the case for many marriages. You enjoy taking morning walks with a neighbor, following the Design Mom blog, and annual August trips to your family's cottage in Maine. |
Anonymous
| I love these!! Do me, please? One child: Nathaniel. |
Anonymous
Maisie was quite a surprise. You really weren't planning to get pregnant on the honeymoon and kind of joked about it, but after the initial shock you jumped right into the whole parenting thing. Soon after seeing those first ultrasound images, you starting buying some of your favorite childhood books....In The Night Kitchen, The Hungry Caterpiller, and Good Night Moon. Your husband took a little longer to wrap his mind around the fact that he would be both a new husband and a new dad in the same year, but once he saw belly starting to grow, he also became very excited and he has proven to be a very doting father and husband. You went with the Bradley method of childbirth and are proud to share your birth story with anyone who will listen. It still amazes you that you were able to get through childbirth without any pain medication. Maisie has had some mild developmental delays but seems to be catching up and your mother has been reassuring you that you were also a little behind in walking and talking, but eventually caught up and did just fine. Mothering has proved to be more overwhelming than you ever imagined. All of the different approaches to sleeping, feeding, and even carrying a child! You aren't a hard core attachment parenting nut, but you do agree with a lot of Dr. Sears' advice and you have done the co-sleeping thing since it meant everyone got some sleep vs the the weeks of attempted sleep training that proved to be disastrous and traumatic. You live close enough to the zoo to take daily walks with Maisie and it really is the highlight of each day. You love seeing how alert and curious she is about all of the sounds and colors. You wonder if she will one day grow up to be a zoologist. Wouldn't that be cool? You have been struggling to find a playgroup with like minded mamas. It hasn't been easy. Some groups are clearly more conservative and preppy than you are cut out to be. Other groups are too serious and rigorous with all of their expectations. It's just a damn playgroup. Who cares what kind of snacks get brought? Other groups are way too hippy, dreadlocky for you. You are starting to worry that you won't find the right group of mama friends, but you will and it will be a lifesaver. You are a good mom and Maisie is lucky. |
Anonymous
| Just one daughter named Naomi |
Anonymous
You couldn't wait to be pregnant for the first time and it all happened pretty smoothly. Conception. Check. First Ultrasound. Check. Easy Pregnancy. Check. Routine Delivery with epidural. Check. But when it came to breastfeeding, things were not so easy and you were pretty upset about that. Happily Nathaniel thrived and he was an easy-going baby with a head full of curls. Now that he is eight he is starting to roll his eyes when he sees that all too familiar gesture....a stranger's hand reaching towards his curly head and he quickly moves out of the way. He's a quick boy, both physically and mentally. He's one of the top soccer players on his team which makes you swell with pride, but you would never gloat about that on the field, only in bed late at night with your husband when the two of you go through the game move by move. He's also gifted with math and has always been in the advanced math group. But he struggles with reading and writing which is frustrating since you love reading and writing so much yourself. You patiently work on it with him each night and telling yourself that boys just take a little longer in that department. You long for him to spend long summer days immersed in books like you used to be. Your husband doesn't have that dream. Instead, he worries about Nate's shyness and tries to encourage him to approach kids where ever you happen to be...local park, library, etc. It usually ends in disaster, but you don't quite know how to prevent their mutual disappointment. It is clear that your husband is struggling with the fact that he is an extrovert, raising an introvert and that is foreign territory for him. You hang out a lot at the Turtle Park in the AU neighborhood and do weekly trips to Whole Foods/Whole Paycheck, but you keep meaning to sign up for a CSA. You like documentary films, Jane Austen, and The Dave Matthews Band (from your days in Charlottesville). You dream about taking Nathaniel out of school for an entire year to travel the world while homeschooling him and showing him the wonders of the Great Barrier Reef, The Leaning Tower of Pisa, and Machu Picchu. You hate your book club but you keep going because you don't want to explain why you stopped going. You used to love skinny dipping and think you might return to that when you are older and have your own little lake front cottage in Michigan. Nate will be horribly embarrassed by thought of his mother skinny dipping, but secretly thrilled that she has an adventurous past. |
Anonymous
Naomi's baby naming ceremony turned out to be a circus. The rabbi was late, the divorced grandparents were bickering, the lox was rubbery, and your c-section scar was irritated, but in the midst of all that chaos and strife you were cool as a cucumber and totally enamored with your beautiful baby girl. You couldn't believe how much you loved her, her dark hair, her piercing eyes, her little baby grunts. All of it was so intoxicating. And then toddlerhood hit like a tsunami. Suddenly, your sweet baby girl was a mini maniac with torrential tantrums and exhausting negotiations. You kept reassuring yourself that these traits would serve her well in later life, perhaps she will grow up to become a trial lawyer. Thankfully, things settled down when she turned four and school was a true blessing. You had been a single, working mom when you had Naomi (thanks to a sperm donor), but soon after her 1st birthday you met and fell in love with an amazing man, Matt, who eventually became your husband and Naomi's father. Matt really helped you weather those intense toddler years and you continue to marvel at what an amazing and patient man he is. You have been trying to get pregnant for the past year and are now resigned to having to seek out professional help, but you are really hopeful about having a baby with Matt. Naomi has also been begging for a baby sister since that seems to have been a popular event in kindergarten....celebrate the arrival of a new baby sibling, but you do worry that it will be a huge adjustment for her. She'll be fine. Really, she will. In fact, she will thrive in her role as big sis. You on the other hand will struggle with the differences....the challenging pregnancy, the difficult first year, the colic that Naomi never had, and the baby weight that just won't disappear like it did last time. But Matt will be a trooper and he will change diapers, feed you chocolate ice cream, and take the late night feedings. In fact, his stoicism will drive you a bit batty which will prompt you to pull out your favorite Dolly Pardon cds and play them at loud volumes throughout the house. This will be around the time Naomi starts to develop an addiction to audio books and she will spend long hours in her room listening to Harry Potter and Anne of Green Gables while blocking out newborn screams and Dolly's songs. To eventually celebrate emergence from that intense period and Matt's new promotion, you all make the spontaneous but wise decision to buy a second home in Cape Charles, Virginia. You would never imagine that you, a NYC Jew would love the Eastern shore, especially the twangy Virginia side as much as you do. But those sunsets are spectacular and the crabs are divine (thank goodness you gave up eating Kosher long before kids arrived). |
Anonymous
So much fun, thank you!! Nate is only 5 months and we had a very difficult time with everything from conception (IVF) all the way through delivery (emergency c-section), but I love your vision of him as an 8 year old.  . I am a huge reader, and would be thrilled if he enjoys it the way I did as a kid, and will be a little sad if he doesn't. I already daydream about taking him traveling everywhere. And LOL on the book club!! That would be me exactly if I were in one!
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Anonymous
You are an Episcopalian family living in Somerset with traditional values, traditional names, and lots of family secrets. Eben is plagued by being the fourth. He always dreads the first day of school when his hideous, outdated, but dearly beloved family name is unfurled for all to hear in its screechy glory. He spends the rest of the week constantly pleading with kids and teachers to call him Eben and they do because he is a nice kid and they can tell. He's not a jock, he's not a geek, he's just an ordinary nice kid who stands up for the special needs kids. Jane is named after her maternal great grandmother, but fortunately she does not take after that austere side of the family with the ultra pale skin and limp hair. Janie is bouncy, cute, and outgoing. She can also be bossy, whiny, and spoiled, especially if she has skipped a meal which seems to be happening more frequently now that she is in middle school and suddenly very self-conscious of her flat chest. Elizabeth hates nicknames and refuses to answer to any of them. They have all been tried many times....Betsey, Lizzy, Libby, Bitsey, Liz, Beth, etc. She is the most serious and strong willed of the four children. She does everything with precision, focus, and a desire for perfection. She is not fun to play board games with because she is both a sore loser and a sore winner. Mary is the typical baby of the family, adored and adoring, while snatching the limelight when ever she can get it. She shows real talent for dance and seems to light up on -stage. She wishes she had a nick name and begs her friends to give her a nickname, but none of them seem to stick. As the mother of this busy brood, you spend a lot of time and energy coordinating schedules and outfits. In addition to your children's expectations, your husband also has some expectations. He expects a full meal on the table each night and he expects you to attend work events with him, cocktail parties, silent auctions, and insufferable dinner parties. You have a personal shopper at Nordstrom, regularly scheduled hair appts, waxing appts, and personal training sessions. You have a cleaning service, a preferred caterer, and you sneak out to Catholic Mass whenever possible since that's the way you were raised. You have an affinity for red wine, spam (but don't tell anyone about that), and Michael Buble. |
Anonymous
Henry is twelve and obsessed with WWII. He puts in special requests at the library for rare versions of war books, DVRs WWII documentaries, and dreams about making a trips to both Guadalcanal and Normandy. He has a handful of friends, other boys with unique interests and you can see that he will never be one of the cool kids, which is a relief since you used to worry about the day your kids would become teenagers. It also makes your brother, a well-known historian, beam with pride when he spends time with Henry. You are seriously thinking about taking advantage of your brother's offer to have Henry spend winter break helping with some of his research projects. Audrey, on the other hand, is the social butterfly. She flits between groups of friends effortlessly and never fails to charm anyone who comes in her orbital path. You came close to naming Audrey, Lucy, but you are so glad you didn't do that. Audrey, all of seven, lives up to her elegant name and like Fancy Nancy seems to relish it, but she's also not afraid to get dirty and she has a growing obsession with bugs. She has a thriving collection of both live and dead specimens in her room. You like that she's got depth and dimension to her personality and that she isn't all about the frill. You and your husband are both academics teaching at local universities. You have done a good job of sharing the parenting duties while juggling the tasks of teaching, grading, researching, and publishing. Your priorities as a family are education, travel, and community justice work. At Thanksgiving and Christmas your family helps out at a local food pantry and every birthday party is built around a goal (in lieu of gifts please make a donation so a small African village can have this goat, in lieu of gifts please bring dog food and dog toys which will be donated to the local animal shelter). Henry and Audrey hate these birthday celebrations and crave ordinary parties that include goody-bags, piles of presents, and a noticeable lack of sad situations. Each year you attempt to garden and compost, but fail miserably at both. You spend more than you would like to at local farmers markets and you when you eat out it is usually Indian, Lebanese, or Korean. Your husband had an affair with one of his students many years ago and you have forgiven him, but you continue to be wary and sometimes find yourself wondering about certain student relationships, but you just can't stomach the thought of going down that path again. Instead you stuff you feelings under mounds of illicit Cheetos which you keep hidden in the back of the bathroom closet. A horrible, chemical, orange treat that brings you immediate joy and stained fingers although no one ever comments upon them....everyone knows about your stash, but they would never admit to that knowledge. |
Anonymous
You live in Bethesda and have the perfect family that you always dreamed of....two active, handsome boys and eventually that long desired daughter. Jack is at an awkward, lanky stage and he bravely endured middle school, but you are all feeling a bit anxious about the fact that he will be starting high school this year. He has a few friends you find questionable, but it makes you happy to see him have fun when some days he just seems so withdrawn. You have been hosting a lot of overnights for him this summer in hopes of monitoring what is going on in his life, but also occasionally seeing him joke around and laugh. Ben is going into fourth grade and he is at a pleasant stage of life. You spend a lot of time trekking him to soccer practices and games. He's on a travel team and he loves it. His needs are simple: food, sleep, and soccer. He is an average student, never gets in trouble at school, and just seems to glide through life. Charlotte is six and quite the little prima donna. You have decorated her room twice in the past two years. First in pink and green polka dots and most recently in blue and purple animal prints because she was upset by how "babyish" the previous color scheme was. Although Charlotte wields a lot of power in your family, she also makes all of you laugh on a regular basis and Christmas is still a fun holiday because she fully embraces the whole Santa thing. Jack even gets into it and last year he climbed up on the roof to make the clopping sounds of reindeer that thoroughly convinced her that the man in red is alive and thriving. Charlotte is confident, outgoing, and competitive. You have no worries about her as an adult, but you do worry about the teen years. Your house in Edgemoore is tastefully decorated with a well manicured lawn and a bright red door. Your friends envy everything that seems to come so easy to you, but it hasn't always been so easy. You have worked hard, your husband has worked hard and still works very long, stressful hours, and you have a nagging fear that it could all come crumbling down overnight. You maintain a happy couple facade in public, but the two of you fight frequently about money and financial decisions. Your husband is a bigger risk taker, while you feel safer following the more conservative route. You have a loveable, drooling black Lab named Max and you enjoy your long morning walks with him, because that gives you time to sort out the details for each day. Your typical summer vacation plans include time at Cape Cod but this year, you are all headed to the Grand Canyon and you are dreading the fiasco it will be, especially with Jack's moodiness, but it's something you and your husband always wanted to do with the kids and it is clear they are growing up quickly. Under your bed, you keep a stash of journals you kept at various times of your life. Nothing too racy or revealing, just rants and observations about daily life. You recently returned to writing each morning after your walk with Max and you want to take a class at the Bethesda Writing Center, but hesitate to do that because you aren't really a writer and you worry about being critiqued, especially by "real" writers. You used to play tennis at the Club, but you had a falling out with one of the regulars and just didn't feel like dealing with all of that cattiness anymore. Even though you are ordinarily pretty shy, you do enjoy starting up conversations with strangers in bookstores, on trains, and sometimes even in the grocery store. This embarrasses your kids, but it makes you feel good to make those connections, especially with someone of a different color. You live for your diet Coke, your annual girls trip to South Florida, and you secretly think about getting a pixie cut or finally just letting your hair go grey, but you know you will never do either one. |
Anonymous
You live in a rambler in Burke. You drive a Mazda mini-van, but really wish you had a Toyota Sienna. You take Zumba classes at the JCC, you used to belong to a scrapbooking club when that popular, and you are religious about keeping up with the laundry. You have been divorced for four years. It was amicable and you share custody of the kids which means you have every other weekend on your own. You spend those weekends driving down to Newport News to be with your sister who never got married and loves to see movies with you. Your life feels a bit boring lately and you are starting to consider dating again, perhaps with e-Harmony or some other dating service. Your kids would be shocked to know that you used to smoke a lot of pot in high school and still do occasionally with your sister. They would also be shocked to know that you had a brief stint as a pole dancer one summer during college. You will never tell them that. Ever. It all seems so long ago. You used to watch Oprah everyday, but now that you have returned to work you are hooked on watching America's Got Talent and Dancing with the Stars. Your boss occasionally flirts with you and you enjoy it, but you would never have an affair with him. You like his wife too much and he's just not that attractive. You love outlet malls, curly fries, pedicures, and you were sad that neither one of your kids wanted to have a Bar/Bat Mitzvah, but you didn't push the issue. |