Gift for first period?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Embarrassing. Nope. Didn’t read the thread. It’s a nope.

+1. I would have been mortified if mom did that for me.

Friend: cute earrings! did you get those for your birthday?
Daughter: um no, mom got them for me when I got my first period
Friend:

[Anonymous]

nope.

[Anonymous]

pads. chocolate. Privacy.

[Anonymous]

OMG I would have been mortified by any of this when I was 12.

A year earlier, my mom had a basic chat with me to make sure I understand what was going to happen and how to deal with it. Sometime after that, a box of pads just appeared in my bathroom cabinet. When it was time, I took one and used it. Apparently she checked every once in a while, because just when I was starting to worry about running out, the box was magically refilled.

The only time we really talked about it was when I was 13 and invited to a pool party. When I realized that the timing was going to be awful, I asked my mom for advice. That's when she taught me about tampons. She pulled one out of the package, showed me how it worked (not physically, just showed me how to push the tampon part out of the housing), then sent me into the bathroom and told me to ask if I had questions.

Very matter of fact. No fuss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Embarrassing. Nope. Didn’t read the thread. It’s a nope.

+1. I would have been mortified if mom did that for me.

Friend: cute earrings! did you get those for your birthday?
Daughter: um no, mom got them for me when I got my first period
Friend:

Friend: ... oh. Really? That’s kind of cool. I didn’t get anything, and it seemed like I wasn’t supposed to talk about it, that it was embarrassing or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Embarrassing. Nope. Didn’t read the thread. It’s a nope.

+1. I would have been mortified if mom did that for me.

Friend: cute earrings! did you get those for your birthday?
Daughter: um no, mom got them for me when I got my first period
Friend:

Friend: ... oh. Really? That’s kind of cool. I didn’t get anything, and it seemed like I wasn’t supposed to talk about it, that it was embarrassing or something.

DP- Not being embarrassed by it isn’t the same thing as a dorky gift from your mom celebrating it! Still think it’s weird.

[Anonymous]

Garnet or ruby jewelry and a special outing with mom & grandma.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s too weird, OP. She may not see it the way you do. It’s personal. Your gift should be you being there for her and talking to her, reassuring her, but not making a huge deal of it.

Agreed. This entire idea is so terribly provincial.
OP, are you expecting a party for your upcoming menopause?

Not OP but actually yes. There are groups of women who celebrate & acknowledge the transition of menopause. As a rite of passage.
Why shouldn’t they? I’d love some acknowledgement, open discussion & honoring about the immense changes my body is going through. It impacts every area of my life!

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand these posters saying to give Midlothian or whatever and ignore it. How horrific! You’re sending a message that it’s something to hide and it’s painful and miserable.

It could be an opportunity between mother & daughter to grow closer, to invite shared stories, to embrace change. You could send a message that it’s not scary or shameful, that it’s normal and means you’re growing up. I find it odd that our culture celebrates getting a driver’s license more than getting your first period!

Give her a gift. Sit down for tea together. Talk a little about what’s to come, how she’s growing up, maybe have the sex talk if for some crazy reason you haven’t already. Show her you care, you understand, you’re there for her if she has questions.

If you ignore it or just leave some pads around you’re closing the door on her.

[Anonymous]

*midol
Not Midlothian!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG I would have been mortified by any of this when I was 12.

A year earlier, my mom had a basic chat with me to make sure I understand what was going to happen and how to deal with it. Sometime after that, a box of pads just appeared in my bathroom cabinet. When it was time, I took one and used it. Apparently she checked every once in a while, because just when I was starting to worry about running out, the box was magically refilled.

The only time we really talked about it was when I was 13 and invited to a pool party. When I realized that the timing was going to be awful, I asked my mom for advice. That's when she taught me about tampons. She pulled one out of the package, showed me how it worked (not physically, just showed me how to push the tampon part out of the housing), then sent me into the bathroom and told me to ask if I had questions.

Very matter of fact. No fuss.

I think this is sad. It’s not “fuss” to talk to your daughter about her body.

I grew up having in-depth conversations about my body’s changes & the details of sex with my mom. She was my friend and closest confidant on these matters-and she knew a hell of a lot more than my teenage friends. I’m grateful to her for answering my many questions matter of factly and without blinking or judgement. Because of her I navigated sex making smart & careful choices. I have a happy, healthy attitude towards my body and sex because of her.

[Anonymous]

I’ll slayed remember the gift I got the first time I masturbated. Love these coming of age gifts.

[Anonymous]

Garnet or ruby jewelry and a special outing with mom & grandma

this is sick

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s too weird, OP. She may not see it the way you do. It’s personal. Your gift should be you being there for her and talking to her, reassuring her, but not making a huge deal of it.

Agreed. This entire idea is so terribly provincial.
OP, are you expecting a party for your upcoming menopause?

Not OP but actually yes. There are groups of women who celebrate & acknowledge the transition of menopause. As a rite of passage.
Why shouldn’t they? I’d love some acknowledgement, open discussion & honoring about the immense changes my body is going through. It impacts every area of my life!

I am looking forward to menopause because my period will END. It is a pain and nothing to celebrate. I’m premenopausal now and the irregular cycles are as annoying as they were in the early years. So yes, I see why there would be menopause parties.

I wouldn’t share any of this with DD yet. I was very matter of fact and then gave her privacy, as she wanted.

[Anonymous]

Nope. Maybe take her shopping for pads, tampons and period / black underwear. I just remember being 12 and in so much pain. And please please don't tell anyone. My cousin borrowed menstrual stuff from me for years because she didn't want her mom, who had a big mouth, to know.