Gift for first period?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope. Maybe take her shopping for pads, tampons and period / black underwear. I just remember being 12 and in so much pain. And please please don't tell anyone. My cousin borrowed menstrual stuff from me for years because she didn't want her mom, who had a big mouth, to know.

You are stuck in time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not horrified like some posters and I think it sounds nice. I think it depends on your kid’s personality and you know best how she’d respond. I also think age is a big factor. A 10 year old getting her first period is going to have different feelings, none of which are celebratory, because she’s still kind of a little kid and it’s scary and weird and embarrassing and it’s likely she’s the first of her friends. The idea of womanhood isn’t even on her radar. A 14 year old might (might!) be more excited about growing up, catching up to her friends, and be more familiar with the whole idea so it’s less awkward and scary. I can see some mom-daughter celebration or a gift being more appropriate there.

Either way, dads should never ever be involved in any way ever. My close friend told me when she got her period she told her mom and then they got in the car to visit her dad at his accounting office so that she could give him the big news and then the whole family went to dinner to celebrate. She didn’t think it was weird. I still can’t believe it.

I think a period gift is cringey, but this attitude is worse. Assuming it is two parent, heterosexual family, he's half her parents. She might need his help sometime when mom is not available. She might be out of pads. She might be having unusual symptoms and not know if they are serious. It's fine if she talks about it with her mom first, but the mom should do what she can to make sure the daughter is comfortable discussing it with her dad if she choses or if she needs to. "Honey, I want you to know that your dad is not clueless. He and I have already talked about how you would be getting your period soon. He respects your privacy and that you might be more comfortable talking to me about it, but wants you to know he is always available to answer questions or run to the store for you if you need something. Or if you want to buy some stuff yourself, just tell him you need some money for something private and he'll understand and give you a ride to the store."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not horrified like some posters and I think it sounds nice. I think it depends on your kid’s personality and you know best how she’d respond. I also think age is a big factor. A 10 year old getting her first period is going to have different feelings, none of which are celebratory, because she’s still kind of a little kid and it’s scary and weird and embarrassing and it’s likely she’s the first of her friends. The idea of womanhood isn’t even on her radar. A 14 year old might (might!) be more excited about growing up, catching up to her friends, and be more familiar with the whole idea so it’s less awkward and scary. I can see some mom-daughter celebration or a gift being more appropriate there.

Either way, dads should never ever be involved in any way ever. My close friend told me when she got her period she told her mom and then they got in the car to visit her dad at his accounting office so that she could give him the big news and then the whole family went to dinner to celebrate. She didn’t think it was weird. I still can’t believe it.

I think a period gift is cringey, but this attitude is worse. Assuming it is two parent, heterosexual family, he's half her parents. She might need his help sometime when mom is not available. She might be out of pads. She might be having unusual symptoms and not know if they are serious. It's fine if she talks about it with her mom first, but the mom should do what she can to make sure the daughter is comfortable discussing it with her dad if she choses or if she needs to. "Honey, I want you to know that your dad is not clueless. He and I have already talked about how you would be getting your period soon. He respects your privacy and that you might be more comfortable talking to me about it, but wants you to know he is always available to answer questions or run to the store for you if you need something. Or if you want to buy some stuff yourself, just tell him you need some money for something private and he'll understand and give you a ride to the store."

I’m a different poster and what surprised me the most is when DD told her older brother randomly at dinner when it was the three of us with DH working late. I would have never mentioned it to my siblings at her age, but she was very direct as an FYI. They share a bathroom so this was probably a good idea. I could see her asking him to buy products for her before DH. She asked me to tell DH without her because he should know but she didn’t want to talk about it with him. DH has bought me tampons many times but he’s more high stress in general and I think she didn’t want to make a big deal about anything. Your your kid and their comfort level before involving others.

[Anonymous]

What in the world would a man know about menstruation, even if he is her father?! Maybe an aunt or older cousin, or a godmother could be offered as someone else for a preteen to confide in. But a man? No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What in the world would a man know about menstruation, even if he is her father?! Maybe an aunt or older cousin, or a godmother could be offered as someone else for a preteen to confide in. But a man? No.

He should certainly understand the female reproductive system.

[Anonymous]

"Anonymous wrote:
What in the world would a man know about menstruation, even if he is her father?! Maybe an aunt or older cousin, or a godmother could be offered as someone else for a preteen to confide in. But a man? No.


He should certainly understand the female reproductive system."

Oh cut it out. How many women asked their dads for the details on what it felt like to give birth? To go through menopause? There's no way a man knows what a cramp feels like, or what it's like to realize you've started unexpectedly while out in public. Sure, they can empathize and share knowledge about what worked for the women in their lives, but why not just ask the women themselves?

[Anonymous]

No! Absurd idea!

[Anonymous]

Oh hell no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What in the world would a man know about menstruation, even if he is her father?! Maybe an aunt or older cousin, or a godmother could be offered as someone else for a preteen to confide in. But a man? No.

He should certainly understand the female reproductive system.

So the period gift thing is weird for me because I haven’t really been raised in that culture.

But our household culture is that my teen DD can ask her Dad to buy period supplies, ask him for ibuprofen, and generally talk to him about her period if she so chooses. A man needs to know about menstruation because it is something that affects half of the world’s population and he has to be ready to talk about it if he has a teen daughter. My DD usually comes to me with any needs but she knows she can go to her dad because he told her so and because he occasionally buys supplies for both of us if I ask. He hands her the pads when he comes home from the store. Hopefully my kid will grow up knowing she has two functional parents for everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What in the world would a man know about menstruation, even if he is her father?! Maybe an aunt or older cousin, or a godmother could be offered as someone else for a preteen to confide in. But a man? No.

Do you only know caveman. What is this 1920? WTF?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What in the world would a man know about menstruation, even if he is her father?! Maybe an aunt or older cousin, or a godmother could be offered as someone else for a preteen to confide in. But a man? No.

He should certainly understand the female reproductive system.

I bet your sex life is terrible. Your man likely can't find his way around a clitoris, if he even knows what one is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope. Maybe take her shopping for pads, tampons and period / black underwear. I just remember being 12 and in so much pain. And please please don't tell anyone. My cousin borrowed menstrual stuff from me for years because she didn't want her mom, who had a big mouth, to know.

You are stuck in time.

???
When you get your period at age 11-12 (or younger) it sometimes is not such a magical "lets become a woman thing"; it's I'm in pain and I have no interest in a romantic partner so w"hy does this have to happen to be right now thing."

[Anonymous]

I mean, you can get a gift to make the time not so awful, but it is somewhat strange.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Embarrassing. Nope. Didn’t read the thread. It’s a nope.

+1. I would have been mortified if mom did that for me.

Friend: cute earrings! did you get those for your birthday?
Daughter: um no, mom got them for me when I got my first period
Friend:

Friend: ... oh. Really? That’s kind of cool. I didn’t get anything, and it seemed like I wasn’t supposed to talk about it, that it was embarrassing or something.

Daughter:... yeah, idk. Its like, we don't even go into details about our sweat, ejaculations, pee or shits but my bloody tampons are always a good topic of convo

[Anonymous]

I would get her tee shirt that says "I got my first period in 2020" so everyone who sees her can also celebrate with her