NYT: 30 somethings still being bankrolled by their parents
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Anonymous
| Sometimes, parents can help kids too much and a "failure to launch" situation results. For example, the Potomac 30yo woman who is unemployed and living with parents who assaulted her mother for not taking her to a yoga class. |
Anonymous
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The age ranges in this article are way too broad for it to be useful. It shouldn't be 21-37, it should be more like 30-37. At 21 most are in college -- and in MC/UMC families parents are likely paying for some part of college, room/board, health insurance, cell phone etc. Up to 25-26, you have people still in med/law school and again those populations lean UMC/MC, so parents are STILL helping with some part of it, even if they can't/don't want to pay for all of it. I know more than one med and law student and even medical resident, who have huge tuition loans, but mom and dad cover housing, food, phones, insurance etc. Frankly lots of people are now covering insurance until 26, even for their kids who are investment banking analysts simply bc it saves a kid about $100/paycheck, while often costing the parents nothing extra (esp if there are other kids on the insurance plan and thus you have to be on a family plan anyway). A 22 year old just starting out can use the extra $200 month insurance savings.
After 30 though, that's a different story. I think then it's about (i) your kids thought teaching or nonprofits or whatever were a good idea and now neither they nor you are happy with how they can afford to live so you must supplement; or (ii) wealth building. For (i), that's just poor planning on the kids and parents' part. You should be guiding your kid into fields where they can afford to support themselves in the area of the country where they grew up -- in a manner similar to how they grew up. So yeah you shouldn't count on the fact that your NJ raised kid is going to be happy to pick up and move to South Carolina for COL. If he/she wants to, that's great; but there should have been discussions in HS about what it costs to live their life in the NJ area. Wealth building -- no problem with that. |
Anonymous
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Privileged New Yorkers. If only they understood hard work. |
Anonymous
| I'm not bankrolling my kids. If my wife wants to, fine. |
Anonymous
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I'm 41. My parents dont pay our bills, but do give us stuff, commonly cash, for purchases. And its almost always to plus-up things we're already doing.
6 years ago we bought a van since my wife had a litter (2 babies at once), they gave me 20 grand. I bought a van that cost 40 grand. Most expensive car I ever or will ever buy. Still have it, all 21K miles on it and all. Now, sans their money, I would have just bought a used van for 20 grand. I wouldn't have spent any less out of my own pocket. Its the same stuff their parents did, adjusted for inflation. I've never taken it for granted, and always been extremely grateful. I do feel its different than having someone pay my monthly rent, but.....now we're just debating the time value of money. There's a big wealth transfer underway as the boomers...ahem...move on, either dead or downsizing. |
Anonymous
| I read that this is how the rich get richer and the poor poorer. The rich pass along their money to their kids when the kids need it the most- 18-35. They pay for college, downpayments and help with childcare expenses. Then when their kids are older they don't need help as much because those expenses are gone. The poor only pass along money at death, often to kids who are retired themselves (60+). |
Anonymous
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This situation is the reason poorer or lower middle class people have a hard time moving up.
I don't think this is new, I had a coworker ask me 20 years ago if it was common for people our age (mid 20s to 30s) to get so much help from their parents. Not in my family! But both of us were the first in both our families to go to college and find professional position, which is why he felt comfortable talking to me about it. We were on our on, while most of our co-workers parents paid for their cars, babysat their kids, and gave them down payments for their house. My mom had no one to help her with babysitting when she worked, we have no one to help either, because everyone is working full time, including the grandparents,or they are dead. |
Anonymous
x100000 Nailed it. Big families that buy their children houses, etc. WTH? How on earth is that teaching them anything? It hurts far more than it helps, I can tell you first hand. |
Anonymous
Not really. The perspective and sense of having one's feet on the ground are very, very different. Be grateful if you were handed nothing, they did you a huge favor. |
Anonymous
LOL this is delusional. Of course having help with a house purchase helps! |
Anonymous
Agreed, and through assortative mating, the children of the rich tend to marry other children of rich parents, which is another factor that exacerbates the gap between rich and poor. |
Anonymous
Maybe? I may be unusual but I don’t want money from my parents. I like that my husband and I have done everything on our own and on our own terms. Our parents did pay for college in full. I do get concerned about inheritances. We both stand to inherit decent estates (a few million each) but will figure that out when the time comes. |
Anonymous
Not PP, but it is delusional to say that it hurts unless parents are bankrolling their entire lifestyle. My family paid for our down payment and give annual gifts. We both work hard and do not spend like crazy, but it has made it immeasurably easier to not have to worry about saving for a down payment and to know that we have a cushion...and I don’t feel any shame for not having earned the nice extras myself. I also don’t lie to friends who ask me how I own a home in my 20s. EVERY person I know in my age range (mid 20s) who owns a home received parental support. It’s not restricted to lazy princesses as much as some people on here clearly would like to think that. |
Anonymous
Of course. But coming up with the 400k for our downpayment and closing costs gives me an immense sense of satisfaction. I can’t help but think it wouldn’t mean as much to me if I’d just been handed a check. |
Anonymous
^^ I’ll also add it helped me learned how to save and grow wealth. Having to come up with a large downpayment required us to make some major finances. Now that we’ve bought a house we are saving over 100k a year into our brokerage account. Our parents are wealthy enough to write us a 200-300k check but. Or wealthy enough that we could avoid learning to save. |