NYT: 30 somethings still being bankrolled by their parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife (in her 30's) still has many childhood friends in DC being subsidized by their parents.

x100000

Nailed it. Big families that buy their children houses, etc. WTH? How on earth is that teaching them anything? It hurts far more than it helps, I can tell you first hand.

LOL this is delusional. Of course having help with a house purchase helps!

Maybe? I may be unusual but I don’t want money from my parents. I like that my husband and I have done everything on our own and on our own terms. Our parents did pay for college in full. I do get concerned about inheritances. We both stand to inherit decent estates (a few million each) but will figure that out when the time comes.

Not PP, but it is delusional to say that it hurts unless parents are bankrolling their entire lifestyle. My family paid for our down payment and give annual gifts. We both work hard and do not spend like crazy, but it has made it immeasurably easier to not have to worry about saving for a down payment and to know that we have a cushion...and I don’t feel any shame for not having earned the nice extras myself. I also don’t lie to friends who ask me how I own a home in my 20s. EVERY person I know in my age range (mid 20s) who owns a home received parental support. It’s not restricted to lazy princesses as much as some people on here clearly would like to think that.

I don’t think people on here assume that. I know many friends who have accepted a large check from parents. They also don’t know how to save. If you can’t save a downpayment, you aren’t ready for home ownership. You might be able to afford the payment, but there’s a high probability you’re not saving much besides paying your mortgage. The same “lesson” that needs to be taught to save the downpayment is what is used later to accumulate wealth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife (in her 30's) still has many childhood friends in DC being subsidized by their parents.

x100000

Nailed it. Big families that buy their children houses, etc. WTH? How on earth is that teaching them anything? It hurts far more than it helps, I can tell you first hand.

LOL this is delusional. Of course having help with a house purchase helps!

Maybe? I may be unusual but I don’t want money from my parents. I like that my husband and I have done everything on our own and on our own terms. Our parents did pay for college in full. I do get concerned about inheritances. We both stand to inherit decent estates (a few million each) but will figure that out when the time comes.

Not PP, but it is delusional to say that it hurts unless parents are bankrolling their entire lifestyle. My family paid for our down payment and give annual gifts. We both work hard and do not spend like crazy, but it has made it immeasurably easier to not have to worry about saving for a down payment and to know that we have a cushion...and I don’t feel any shame for not having earned the nice extras myself. I also don’t lie to friends who ask me how I own a home in my 20s. EVERY person I know in my age range (mid 20s) who owns a home received parental support. It’s not restricted to lazy princesses as much as some people on here clearly would like to think that.

Of course. But coming up with the 400k for our downpayment and closing costs gives me an immense sense of satisfaction. I can’t help but think it wouldn’t mean as much to me if I’d just been handed a check.

^^ I’ll also add it helped me learned how to save and grow wealth. Having to come up with a large downpayment required us to make some major finances. Now that we’ve bought a house we are saving over 100k a year into our brokerage account. Our parents are wealthy enough to write us a 200-300k check but. Or wealthy enough that we could avoid learning to save.

This is nonsense. My parents gifted me a down payment, and I have managed to save an equivalent amount in a few years. Why? Because they taught me good money habits, the same habits that enabled them to give me a down payment and will let me hopefully help my children. Savings money feels good whether it is for a down payment or because you want to save money for retirement or for your own kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife (in her 30's) still has many childhood friends in DC being subsidized by their parents.

x100000

Nailed it. Big families that buy their children houses, etc. WTH? How on earth is that teaching them anything? It hurts far more than it helps, I can tell you first hand.

LOL this is delusional. Of course having help with a house purchase helps!

Maybe? I may be unusual but I don’t want money from my parents. I like that my husband and I have done everything on our own and on our own terms. Our parents did pay for college in full. I do get concerned about inheritances. We both stand to inherit decent estates (a few million each) but will figure that out when the time comes.

Not PP, but it is delusional to say that it hurts unless parents are bankrolling their entire lifestyle. My family paid for our down payment and give annual gifts. We both work hard and do not spend like crazy, but it has made it immeasurably easier to not have to worry about saving for a down payment and to know that we have a cushion...and I don’t feel any shame for not having earned the nice extras myself. I also don’t lie to friends who ask me how I own a home in my 20s. EVERY person I know in my age range (mid 20s) who owns a home received parental support. It’s not restricted to lazy princesses as much as some people on here clearly would like to think that.

Of course. But coming up with the 400k for our downpayment and closing costs gives me an immense sense of satisfaction. I can’t help but think it wouldn’t mean as much to me if I’d just been handed a check.

^^ I’ll also add it helped me learned how to save and grow wealth. Having to come up with a large downpayment required us to make some major finances. Now that we’ve bought a house we are saving over 100k a year into our brokerage account. Our parents are wealthy enough to write us a 200-300k check but. Or wealthy enough that we could avoid learning to save.

This is nonsense. My parents gifted me a down payment, and I have managed to save an equivalent amount in a few years. Why? Because they taught me good money habits, the same habits that enabled them to give me a down payment and will let me hopefully help my children. Savings money feels good whether it is for a down payment or because you want to save money for retirement or for your own kids.

DP, but please understand how staggeringly lucky you are to have grown up in a wealthy family. It's not just about "good money habits." You could save a lot of money because you weren't crippled by student loan debt, or having to pay for myriad other things that people without those wealthy upbringings pay for. You sound completely out of touch, which is kind of Exhibit A for why it's not great to give your kids massive sums of money.

My personal favorite is the snobs whose lifestyles are entirely bankrolled by their parents. It's a sight to behold.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife (in her 30's) still has many childhood friends in DC being subsidized by their parents.

x100000

Nailed it. Big families that buy their children houses, etc. WTH? How on earth is that teaching them anything? It hurts far more than it helps, I can tell you first hand.

LOL this is delusional. Of course having help with a house purchase helps!

Maybe? I may be unusual but I don’t want money from my parents. I like that my husband and I have done everything on our own and on our own terms. Our parents did pay for college in full. I do get concerned about inheritances. We both stand to inherit decent estates (a few million each) but will figure that out when the time comes.

Not PP, but it is delusional to say that it hurts unless parents are bankrolling their entire lifestyle. My family paid for our down payment and give annual gifts. We both work hard and do not spend like crazy, but it has made it immeasurably easier to not have to worry about saving for a down payment and to know that we have a cushion...and I don’t feel any shame for not having earned the nice extras myself. I also don’t lie to friends who ask me how I own a home in my 20s. EVERY person I know in my age range (mid 20s) who owns a home received parental support. It’s not restricted to lazy princesses as much as some people on here clearly would like to think that.

Of course. But coming up with the 400k for our downpayment and closing costs gives me an immense sense of satisfaction. I can’t help but think it wouldn’t mean as much to me if I’d just been handed a check.

^^ I’ll also add it helped me learned how to save and grow wealth. Having to come up with a large downpayment required us to make some major finances. Now that we’ve bought a house we are saving over 100k a year into our brokerage account. Our parents are wealthy enough to write us a 200-300k check but. Or wealthy enough that we could avoid learning to save.

This is nonsense. My parents gifted me a down payment, and I have managed to save an equivalent amount in a few years. Why? Because they taught me good money habits, the same habits that enabled them to give me a down payment and will let me hopefully help my children. Savings money feels good whether it is for a down payment or because you want to save money for retirement or for your own kids.

DP, but please understand how staggeringly lucky you are to have grown up in a wealthy family. It's not just about "good money habits." You could save a lot of money because you weren't crippled by student loan debt, or having to pay for myriad other things that people without those wealthy upbringings pay for. You sound completely out of touch, which is kind of Exhibit A for why it's not great to give your kids massive sums of money.

My personal favorite is the snobs whose lifestyles are entirely bankrolled by their parents. It's a sight to behold.

It doesn’t matter whether I sound snobby on an anon message board. Part of the reason my parents had extra money to give was that I went to expensive college and grad school on scholarship, so they gave my college savings to me as a down payment. Does this make me somehow better in your eyes? It doesn’t matter if it does. I am responding to pp’s assertion that saving money on his own somehow made him feel so much better than getting a gift. This is silly. It doesn’t matter. The fact that saving enough money to buy something as basic as a house has become some sort of weird moral competition suggests that our system is broken. Don’t blame the people who see the shift in the world around them and adjust to benefit their own offspring- this is human nature. Hate the system that created this situation. I suggest you vote for people who want to tax wealth. I do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife (in her 30's) still has many childhood friends in DC being subsidized by their parents.

x100000

Nailed it. Big families that buy their children houses, etc. WTH? How on earth is that teaching them anything? It hurts far more than it helps, I can tell you first hand.

LOL this is delusional. Of course having help with a house purchase helps!

Maybe? I may be unusual but I don’t want money from my parents. I like that my husband and I have done everything on our own and on our own terms. Our parents did pay for college in full. I do get concerned about inheritances. We both stand to inherit decent estates (a few million each) but will figure that out when the time comes.

Lmao. Oh, honey.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife (in her 30's) still has many childhood friends in DC being subsidized by their parents.

x100000

Nailed it. Big families that buy their children houses, etc. WTH? How on earth is that teaching them anything? It hurts far more than it helps, I can tell you first hand.

LOL this is delusional. Of course having help with a house purchase helps!

Maybe? I may be unusual but I don’t want money from my parents. I like that my husband and I have done everything on our own and on our own terms. Our parents did pay for college in full. I do get concerned about inheritances. We both stand to inherit decent estates (a few million each) but will figure that out when the time comes.

Lmao. Oh, honey.

I know. I’m so glad my parents waited until they were married to have children, stay married and valued education.

FWIW, culturally most UMC children do have their college paid for. Part of being a responsible adult is paying for your child to go to college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife (in her 30's) still has many childhood friends in DC being subsidized by their parents.

x100000

Nailed it. Big families that buy their children houses, etc. WTH? How on earth is that teaching them anything? It hurts far more than it helps, I can tell you first hand.

LOL this is delusional. Of course having help with a house purchase helps!

Maybe? I may be unusual but I don’t want money from my parents. I like that my husband and I have done everything on our own and on our own terms. Our parents did pay for college in full. I do get concerned about inheritances. We both stand to inherit decent estates (a few million each) but will figure that out when the time comes.

Lmao. Oh, honey.

I know. I’m so glad my parents waited until they were married to have children, stay married and valued education.

FWIW, culturally most UMC children do have their college paid for. Part of being a responsible adult is paying for your child to go to college.

The point


Your head

[Anonymous]

How about 30somethings who are bankrolling their parents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife (in her 30's) still has many childhood friends in DC being subsidized by their parents.

x100000

Nailed it. Big families that buy their children houses, etc. WTH? How on earth is that teaching them anything? It hurts far more than it helps, I can tell you first hand.

LOL this is delusional. Of course having help with a house purchase helps!

Maybe? I may be unusual but I don’t want money from my parents. I like that my husband and I have done everything on our own and on our own terms. Our parents did pay for college in full. I do get concerned about inheritances. We both stand to inherit decent estates (a few million each) but will figure that out when the time comes.

Lmao. Oh, honey.

I know. I’m so glad my parents waited until they were married to have children, stay married and valued education.

FWIW, culturally most UMC children do have their college paid for. Part of being a responsible adult is paying for your child to go to college.

That may have been “culturally” true a few decades ago but not anymore. Loans, loans, loans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How about 30somethings who are bankrolling their parents?

This seems like the much more likely problem given the lack of retirement savings in this country but I guess it didn’t warrant a nytimes article this week!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife (in her 30's) still has many childhood friends in DC being subsidized by their parents.

x100000

Nailed it. Big families that buy their children houses, etc. WTH? How on earth is that teaching them anything? It hurts far more than it helps, I can tell you first hand.

LOL this is delusional. Of course having help with a house purchase helps!

Maybe? I may be unusual but I don’t want money from my parents. I like that my husband and I have done everything on our own and on our own terms. Our parents did pay for college in full. I do get concerned about inheritances. We both stand to inherit decent estates (a few million each) but will figure that out when the time comes.

Lmao. Oh, honey.

I know. I’m so glad my parents waited until they were married to have children, stay married and valued education.

FWIW, culturally most UMC children do have their college paid for. Part of being a responsible adult is paying for your child to go to college.

get outta here. My parents are responsible adults and did not pay for my college.

[Anonymous]

Mid 30-something here. My parents paid for much of my college, though not quite all. They paid my cell phone bill through grad school, and cosigned some grad school student loans to help me get better interest rates. And, they gave me a modest amount of money for closing costs on a house, which I am repaying to them with interest. My spouse's parents gave us money for our wedding, though we also paid for a fair bit ourselves, and the money came with some expectations about the wedding which it helped to pay for.

I didn't love taking money from my parents for closing costs, but it really made it possible for us to make a better choice that will be a better investment over the long run. The same is true of cosigning loans. I don't like that these trend reinforce intergenerational wealth inequality, but for me personally they really felt like investments in my future. I hope to be able to provide basically the same things to my kids.

Several folks have mentioned "failure to launch" concerns, and I think that's important to consider. But there's a flip side to that as well. I didn't want (and don't want) to have to make my career choices be solely about maximizing my income. My parents didn't want that for me either. They wanted me to have the ability to live a comfortable middle class life, and to do it while pursuing something that I enjoy and find fulfilling. I don't doubt that I'd have lived a perfectly fine life without their help, but I probably would have had to give up a lot of what I value in my career choice in order to do it.

[Anonymous]

Never got or wanted a cent from my parents. Navigated myself to plenty of money. I have to admit I feel superior and stronger than friends who were subsidized. I can't see Clint Eastwood or James Bond going to Mommy and Daddy as adults for sustenance. It's not sexy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never got or wanted a cent from my parents. Navigated myself to plenty of money. I have to admit I feel superior and stronger than friends who were subsidized. I can't see Clint Eastwood or James Bond going to Mommy and Daddy as adults for sustenance. It's not sexy.

Trump did and to hear him tell it, he's the sexiest man alive

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never got or wanted a cent from my parents. Navigated myself to plenty of money. I have to admit I feel superior and stronger than friends who were subsidized. I can't see Clint Eastwood or James Bond going to Mommy and Daddy as adults for sustenance. It's not sexy.

“Feeling superior and stronger” to your own friends does not actually reflect well on you FYI. It actually makes you sound like you have some unresolved issues.

And like pp said, look how superior the President feels. Not a reflection of good character, unfortunately.