Looking for recs on mainstream privates that are inclusive

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, all of the schools people have mentioned are equally far, right op? I don’t really feel like any actual names have bee given. For acds and burgundy farms, they told me if the kids can’t take himself to a different classroom easily after a session, it wouldn’t work. They also don’t let outside therapists in. And they also kick kids out who are too much.

The reason you’re getting pushback op is because you’re throwing off a serious special snowflake mentality and ugh I hate that term. Your kid has issues, nobody cares if he is acamdemxialt okay, so are most of our children, and kindergarten is actually all about regulation and social skills. If those are issues for him, don’t send him to a private with teachers without sped credentials and expect it to go well. The end.

OP here. Not sure the basis for "snowflake" comment. I've been forthcoming, balanced, and responsive. I have no illusions. I'm simply wanting to get a clear understanding of the options. Yes, I don't think public will work for the reasons I've stated. I'm down to private SN and private mainstream. The fact that I'm soliciting input on mainstream shouldn't indicated anything more than that I'm trying to be diligent, and willing to weather the criticism of be "naive" etc. But if "snowflake" makes you feel better, then that's that.

I think you're being unrealistic and possibly irrational due to fear or lack of understanding of public schools. While not ideal, public schools have a lot to recommend them -- mainstreaming being one benefit. Not sure why you wouldn't even explore the option.

OP here. Class size. My kiddo does best when class size is about 15. Can't get that in publics in my district. Yours?

We have about 20 kids and 2 teachers. I think the autism inclusion classrooms are smaller. Do what you want to do, but deciding not to mainstream due to class size only seems odd to me.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand OP. On the one hand her child is so high functioning that they don't even need an IEP and could be mainstreamed as long as class size is small; on the other hand, OP is considering a SN school (typically only considered when the child needs significant supports). Something does not add up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand OP. On the one hand her child is so high functioning that they don't even need an IEP and could be mainstreamed as long as class size is small; on the other hand, OP is considering a SN school (typically only considered when the child needs significant supports). Something does not add up.

I'm a former Maddux family and that makes total sense to me. The issues that schools look at to determine eligibility may be different from the social emotional support that Maddux and Auburn excel in.

[Anonymous]

No need to be suspicious. We prefer smaller (15 kids max), inclusive. But we probbaly need some accommodations such as desk placement, maybe a little playground assistance. Therapies such as handwriting and social skills could be done away from school. SN such as Auburn or Maddux would enable us to do those in school for a few years. Downside is cost, distance, and not inclusive.

We have a tentative list of schools. Care to comment on that rather than me, please?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No need to be suspicious. We prefer smaller (15 kids max), inclusive. But we probbaly need some accommodations such as desk placement, maybe a little playground assistance. Therapies such as handwriting and social skills could be done away from school. SN such as Auburn or Maddux would enable us to do those in school for a few years. Downside is cost, distance, and not inclusive.

We have a tentative list of schools. Care to comment on that rather than me, please?

I would look carefully at McLean. At least when we were there, a few years ago, they did not know how to support kids whose primary need was social rather than academic. Even though the classes were tiny, they were not willing to provide any support at recess, promised lunch bunches didn't happen. Academically, their solution to all academic problems was Orton Gillingham, which is great if you have dyslexia but not helpful for my child whose comprehension difficulties came from asd based difficulties in perspective taking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So here's the list we've put together - I think. It's impressive. Thank you so much! I'll keep this thread active/open for a while longer to see what else we learn. Feel free to add/subtract, comment.

SN
Maddux
Auburn
Newton
C/A once in third grade, assuming ADD or other executive function challenges are in play, too

Mainstream
Field beginning in sixth grade
Green Acres, possibly, but avoid if there are "behaviors"
Lowell, possibly, but avoid if there are "behaviors"
ACDS, possibly
Mclean, possibly
Harbor, possibly
Flint Hill, possibly
Chesterbrook, if they have older grades

Reposting the list for comment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No need to be suspicious. We prefer smaller (15 kids max), inclusive. But we probbaly need some accommodations such as desk placement, maybe a little playground assistance. Therapies such as handwriting and social skills could be done away from school. SN such as Auburn or Maddux would enable us to do those in school for a few years. Downside is cost, distance, and not inclusive.

We have a tentative list of schools. Care to comment on that rather than me, please?

I would look carefully at McLean. At least when we were there, a few years ago, they did not know how to support kids whose primary need was social rather than academic. Even though the classes were tiny, they were not willing to provide any support at recess, promised lunch bunches didn't happen. Academically, their solution to all academic problems was Orton Gillingham, which is great if you have dyslexia but not helpful for my child whose comprehension difficulties came from asd based difficulties in perspective taking.

Thank you!

[Anonymous]

Op, many of these schools on your list of mainstreams do not want to be known as having kids with asd in attendance. There are parents that send their kids to private to avoid kids with special needs. It’s the truth. They certainly don’t want their names on this list.

How bad is handwriting? If it’s a serious issue, k even at mainstreams is all writing. Huge amounts of it. That’s going to be tough for your kid. If I were you, I’d be trying to set my kid up for success, not just to be able to say oh he’s so mild he’s in a mainstream private! Very bright! Thanks so much for your concern but he’s going to be subclinical in the near future! Which is grating, obviously.

Also “behaviors” isn’t some strange thing. It means, does your kid not participate unless he is helped? That’s a behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[

Excellent advice. My DS (still no diagnosis yet, IEP is under developmental delay) could probably have coped without his IEP or in a private had we gotten in at 3-4 when his social differences were less apparent. But, he's doing SO much better with the IEP supports that helped him transition to the demands of kindergarten and learn the basic skills he's now building on. Plus, I honestly believe the public schools are more demanding and rigorous than most privates in early elementary, and that this is really good for kids with learning differences if they are properly supported, because they get a lot of practice that they need and focus on the basics. Whereas at a tony private, I can imagine that the attitude is more "oh, no need to push reading and writing; our bright children will pick it up out of the air because their parents are smart and read to them a lot."

That's awesome, PP.

We're in the other camp though, preferring privates -- SN or mainstream - that have a heavy SEL component, at least early on, rather than rigorous academics. My sense is the publics are beginning to focus on SEL, but it's still a bit spotty and always subject to getting less attention since it's not a "topic" on the standardized tests. Others agree?

Not really. I think privates may be a nicer environment but our public did SEL as a curriculum at least as well. Privates are picking kids for their good social skills so these programs are pretty loose, in my experience (not bad, just not all that helpful if your child doesn’t pick this stuff up implicitly). Whereas public (which I have mixed feeling about for other reasons) has an incentive to teach social and regulation skills explicitly, because a lot of their kids need them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, many of these schools on your list of mainstreams do not want to be known as having kids with asd in attendance. There are parents that send their kids to private to avoid kids with special needs. It’s the truth. They certainly don’t want their names on this list.

How bad is handwriting? If it’s a serious issue, k even at mainstreams is all writing. Huge amounts of it. That’s going to be tough for your kid. If I were you, I’d be trying to set my kid up for success, not just to be able to say oh he’s so mild he’s in a mainstream private! Very bright! Thanks so much for your concern but he’s going to be subclinical in the near future! Which is grating, obviously.

Also “behaviors” isn’t some strange thing. It means, does your kid not participate unless he is helped? That’s a behavior.

Not my reason. Also the description of my child is just a description. That’s all. Not sure why your bothered, but ok, I’ll accept that. Not my intention to offend; apologies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, many of these schools on your list of mainstreams do not want to be known as having kids with asd in attendance. There are parents that send their kids to private to avoid kids with special needs. It’s the truth. They certainly don’t want their names on this list.

How bad is handwriting? If it’s a serious issue, k even at mainstreams is all writing. Huge amounts of it. That’s going to be tough for your kid. If I were you, I’d be trying to set my kid up for success, not just to be able to say oh he’s so mild he’s in a mainstream private! Very bright! Thanks so much for your concern but he’s going to be subclinical in the near future! Which is grating, obviously.

Also “behaviors” isn’t some strange thing. It means, does your kid not participate unless he is helped? That’s a behavior.

Not my reason. Also the description of my child is just a description. That’s all. Not sure why your bothered, but ok, I’ll accept that. Not my intention to offend; apologies.

If you’re only motivation is small class size, I would explore the public school. They have smaller classes often for kids with IEPs and they pull out for handwriting. They will also assign him a lunch buddy etc. That’s not happening in mainstream private.

And of course you would get an IEP. Autism is a serious diagnois no matter what qualifications you place on it. Especially at this age.

[Anonymous]

That's not true! DC's good friend with a diagnosis was not able to get an IEP or 504 from the public school system. Nothing at all except informal accommodations after the parents complained.

[Anonymous]

And obviously no lunch buddy. Do not assume you will get anything especially if your child is on grade level or above academically.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And obviously no lunch buddy. Do not assume you will get anything especially if your child is on grade level or above academically.

This is for k. Its much easier. Nobody cares if you’re at grade level for k, it’s meaningless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's not true! DC's good friend with a diagnosis was not able to get an IEP or 504 from the public school system. Nothing at all except informal accommodations after the parents complained.

It was explained to me that a diagnosis creates a presumption in the child’s favor, but it is not a guarantee.