Do you judge other women’s engagement rings?

[Anonymous]

Mine is so small it could be considered as "dust" according to some of the posts here. I love it and I know how far my husband and I have come.

[Anonymous]

For a long time one of my co-workers had the biggest rock and she kept talking about how expensive it was and how she would freak out if it ever got lost. Fast forward a newer employee got engaged and her husband bought her a huge rock - its blinding. The older co-worker gets so mad every time anyone mentions the "new rock on the block". Her mood and face changes completely and I sure she is already trying to get an upgrade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t judge the traditional diamonds- lots of people have heirloom rings, different styles etc.

I do judge when people over explain their ‘non traditional’rings. We had a friend that bought his dw a cheap looking jade ring despite making really good money at the time and buying expensive gifts for himself constantly. She was into fashion/designer stuff and would wayyy over explain why he thought it was better- she was clearly bummed. Just found out they’re getting divorced 2 years into marriage

My BIL bought his wife a 3ct ring and proposed in a scenic tourist location in Italy. They’re now getting divorced after 1 kid and 7 years of marriage.

And? I have a 3-ct engagement ring and DH proposed to me in a lovely setting. We have 2 kids and have been married for 15 years. The size of the ring by itself means nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For a long time one of my co-workers had the biggest rock and she kept talking about how expensive it was and how she would freak out if it ever got lost. Fast forward a newer employee got engaged and her husband bought her a huge rock - its blinding. The older co-worker gets so mad every time anyone mentions the "new rock on the block". Her mood and face changes completely and I sure she is already trying to get an upgrade.

LOL, that's funny

[Anonymous]

Haven't read all 10 pages of this thread, but the subject line caught my eye. I wonder how you would judge me...my engagement ring is NOTHING I ever would have chosen for myself. It's not "me" at all. However, it belonged to DH's grandmother. She wanted me to have it. She was an awesome lady and I am fortunate to have known her. I wear the ring every day, but 20+ years later I still think of it as "grandma Lucy's ring."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:


I have a platinum quarter carat solitaire from Tiffany. I picked it out myself and wanted small to fit under the nitrile gloves I wear every day in the lab. DH could have afforded more but this is all that I need and we paid off our house instead. It gets the side-eye sometime from our fancy neighbor friends, but whatever. Wear what you like.

Me too! I have 1 carat Tiffany ring, got it 20 years ago and still love it. It is so plain, platinum setting, but yellow gold ring. Would never trade it for anything bigger.

[Anonymous]

I don’t judge, but ai notice and I concoct a backstory in my head. If someone has a small diamond, I assume they married young. If they at like me, early 40s with preschoolers, I wonder what fun things they did with alll the time before they had kids.

I have a largeish ring. It tells you I spent my 20s making money and met my husband in my mid-30s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For a long time one of my co-workers had the biggest rock and she kept talking about how expensive it was and how she would freak out if it ever got lost. Fast forward a newer employee got engaged and her husband bought her a huge rock - its blinding. The older co-worker gets so mad every time anyone mentions the "new rock on the block". Her mood and face changes completely and I sure she is already trying to get an upgrade.

LOL, that's funny

I worked with a woman who had a solitaire that was probably 2 carats. Another woman at work, her peer, showed up with a slightly larger one. The first coworker’s ring was magically gone for cleaning / sizing and we all swear when it reappeared it was larger.

[Anonymous]

The title of this thread was “so you judge ring?” Not “what is your ring like and how do you feel about it”.

The only way the type of ring you have is relevant is if you judge people who made a different choice than you.

That said there are lots of good examples here to prove that you don’t always know the whole story.
A small ring may have been chosen for occupational reasons like the chemist. I know government contractors who don’t wear flashy jewelry or carry designer purses that would look out of place with their government employee clients.
Some giant diamonds that you think are blood diamonds or a sign of insecurity were hand me downs and actually the opposite - no money spent, no new diamonds mined.

So you never really know the whole story. And typical DCUM can take any question and turn it around to make the answer “Me! Me! Me!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Define tiny. When I was in my 20s, women were happy to have a 3/4 carat stone. I love my 1 carat stone. These days, women think that's tiny and insist on these obnoxiously huge 2 and 3 carat stones.

+1

+2. I have a .8 and I love it. A friend of mine has a 2 carat and almost never wears it. I feel comfortable wearing my petite ring every day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wedding band is an eternity band with small diamonds all around. Maybe 3 carat total weight. When I got pregnant it got too tight and so I decided to have some fun and ordered a gigantic CZ version of it from Amazon. It’s something like 8 carats (of fake CZ). I’m telling you this thing passes for real and I got lots of wide-eyes stares when it is noticed. It makes me laugh and I may keep wearing it forever even after I can fit back into my real ring. Have fun with this stuff!

Ha! I got so many compliments on my fake pregnancy ring it’s ridiculous. It’s a huge solitaire in probably stainless steal

[Anonymous]

I think anything over 2 carats is too big for a ring. Diamonds that big belong in pendants, not on fingers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sister asked for a $20K fur coat instead and just wears a band.

That is even worse than having a big ring

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I do too. But I know I get judged by my ring which looks to be about 2 carats set in platinum with a big center stone. Except it's not as big as it looks--it's just a really good setting. And my DH didn't pay full price for it because my godfather is a jeweler so he got it for cost. So all of the judging is inaccurate.

+1
My diamond sounds a lot like yours - same size, platinum setting. People always assume we're rich or that my husband must have been rich. The diamond actually belonged to my grandmother, and was given to my fiancé (now husband). He had it reset before giving it to me.

[Anonymous]

I do. Not so much the size unless it seems super large, but the setting. If it’s antique or handmade I usually like that person’s taste. If it is an unusual setting or different stone, I like that too. Rings that are boring and big do not get high marks from me but obviously I would never say this aloud, especially since I know many women don’t pick out their own rings.