MIL refuses to call DS the right name

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I certainly think that the grandmother here should be respectful of the nickname that the child prefers at this time.

At the same time, I am picturing little Theo a few years down the line as a teenager deciding he wants to be called Ted to sound more grown up. At that time, I think the mom will have time switching over.

We have no idea what Theo will want to be called when he's a teenager. He may keep Theo his whole life.

He may, but Billy frequently changes to Bill, Danny changes to Dan, Timmy to Tim. It is not unusual for kids to want to drop what they see as childish nicknames as they grow older and want a name that sounds more grown up.

And it is also not unusual for family members to have trouble making the transition at that time. Habit is a funny thing, and it can be difficult to change one.

That is far in the future and doesn't matter right now, but just an interesting possibility to think about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I certainly think that the grandmother here should be respectful of the nickname that the child prefers at this time.

At the same time, I am picturing little Theo a few years down the line as a teenager deciding he wants to be called Ted to sound more grown up. At that time, I think the mom will have time switching over.

We have no idea what Theo will want to be called when he's a teenager. He may keep Theo his whole life.

He may, but Billy frequently changes to Bill, Danny changes to Dan, Timmy to Tim. It is not unusual for kids to want to drop what they see as childish nicknames as they grow older and want a name that sounds more grown up.

And it is also not unusual for family members to have trouble making the transition at that time. Habit is a funny thing, and it can be difficult to change one.

That is far in the future and doesn't matter right now, but just an interesting possibility to think about.

Theo sounds much more grown up than Ted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like the Grandma Ted response.

Honestly I wouldn’t bother with the grandma part. Just call her Ted - the whole family should join in.

I am dying laughing at this.

Agreed. I imagine something like this happening:

Grandma: "Hello, Ted! How are you?"
Grandson: "Grandma Ted, why do always talk to yourself?"

I was thinking more like this:

Grandma: Ted, can you bring me my purse?
Theo: Sure thing, Ted!

[Anonymous]

Wow, I don't trust adults who do not respect kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The name is cringe-worthy. I don't blame her.

Theo/Theodore is a lovely, traditional name for a little boy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like the Grandma Ted response.

Honestly I wouldn’t bother with the grandma part. Just call her Ted - the whole family should join in.

I am dying laughing at this.

Agreed. I imagine something like this happening:

Grandma: "Hello, Ted! How are you?"
Grandson: "Grandma Ted, why do always talk to yourself?"

I was thinking more like this:

Grandma: Ted, can you bring me my purse?
Theo: Sure thing, Ted!

I'm dying. Love it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Times sure have changed. My name is Sarah and my grandmother called me Sadie. I hated it but knew better than to say anything. She was the adult and I just had to deal.

This
This
This

And if your FIL touches your daughter in ways that make her uncomfortable, she needs to just deal. Respect your elders, sweetie! It's just some touching, it's no big deal. You need to keep your mouth shut and endure.

You are comparing to very very different things. Lord help you, if you don't understand that.

What YOU don't understand is that abuse comes in many forms: physical, sexual, emotional, etc. And in many cases of abuse, control and manipulation, abusers start with something small--a nickname, a back rub, a swat--to see what they can get away with. To see what will be allowed.

This woman is knowingly hurting a child's feelings and is deliberately undermining parental authority. I will protect my children from that. Too bad that you will allow yourself and your family to be harmed and controlled. Respect is a two-way street, and children are not half-people; they are whole humans worthy of respect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Times sure have changed. My name is Sarah and my grandmother called me Sadie. I hated it but knew better than to say anything. She was the adult and I just had to deal.

This
This
This

And if your FIL touches your daughter in ways that make her uncomfortable, she needs to just deal. Respect your elders, sweetie! It's just some touching, it's no big deal. You need to keep your mouth shut and endure.

You are comparing to very very different things. Lord help you, if you don't understand that.

That seems to be the modern mindset. If you teach your child to be polite, they'll be sexually molested tomorrow.

And then they complain when the schools tell them their kids are disrespectful.

My kids are 100% respectful, but also know that their feelings and preferences and instincts are valid, and that they are worthy of respect and common decency.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, if you hadn't made this a thing four years ago, there would not be a problem now. Don't use your kid as an excuse.

+1

-1

You don’t rename someone else’s kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Times sure have changed. My name is Sarah and my grandmother called me Sadie. I hated it but knew better than to say anything. She was the adult and I just had to deal.

This
This
This

And if your FIL touches your daughter in ways that make her uncomfortable, she needs to just deal. Respect your elders, sweetie! It's just some touching, it's no big deal. You need to keep your mouth shut and endure.

You are comparing to very very different things. Lord help you, if you don't understand that.

What YOU don't understand is that abuse comes in many forms: physical, sexual, emotional, etc. And in many cases of abuse, control and manipulation, abusers start with something small--a nickname, a back rub, a swat--to see what they can get away with. To see what will be allowed.

This woman is knowingly hurting a child's feelings and is deliberately undermining parental authority. I will protect my children from that. Too bad that you will allow yourself and your family to be harmed and controlled. Respect is a two-way street, and children are not half-people; they are whole humans worthy of respect.

Oh my God shut up.

Have you read the thread in Relationships about why people don’t take REAL emotional abuse seriously? Because of people like you, saying that this absolute nonsense is “abuse.” YOU are part of the problem!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, if you hadn't made this a thing four years ago, there would not be a problem now. Don't use your kid as an excuse.

+1

-1

You don’t rename someone else’s kid.

Except OP chose a name for which Ted is the overwhelmingly more common nickname. It’s not like grandma is calling him Henry or Jason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The name is cringe-worthy. I don't blame her.

Theo is, indeed, a cringe-worthy name!

Like anyone cares what you think, Ashleigh.

+1 You aren't special, Ashleigh, no one cares.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The name is cringe-worthy. I don't blame her.

Theodore is a beautiful name! Ted is so boring.

Yea, and they can call him Beaver for short!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, if you hadn't made this a thing four years ago, there would not be a problem now. Don't use your kid as an excuse.

+1

-1

You don’t rename someone else’s kid.

Except OP chose a name for which Ted is the overwhelmingly more common nickname. It’s not like grandma is calling him Henry or Jason.

These days, all the little Theodores I know go by Theo. I can't think of a single Ted or Teddy.

The Theodore I married also goes by Theo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Times sure have changed. My name is Sarah and my grandmother called me Sadie. I hated it but knew better than to say anything. She was the adult and I just had to deal.

This
This
This

And if your FIL touches your daughter in ways that make her uncomfortable, she needs to just deal. Respect your elders, sweetie! It's just some touching, it's no big deal. You need to keep your mouth shut and endure.

You are comparing to very very different things. Lord help you, if you don't understand that.

What YOU don't understand is that abuse comes in many forms: physical, sexual, emotional, etc. And in many cases of abuse, control and manipulation, abusers start with something small--a nickname, a back rub, a swat--to see what they can get away with. To see what will be allowed.

This woman is knowingly hurting a child's feelings and is deliberately undermining parental authority. I will protect my children from that. Too bad that you will allow yourself and your family to be harmed and controlled. Respect is a two-way street, and children are not half-people; they are whole humans worthy of respect.

Oh my God shut up.

Have you read the thread in Relationships about why people don’t take REAL emotional abuse seriously? Because of people like you, saying that this absolute nonsense is “abuse.” YOU are part of the problem!!!!!

I know enough about respect and dignity not to tell strangers on the internet to “shut up” and to resort to all caps. So there’s that.