Please remove shoes sign- Rude?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not rude at all. We live in a city and walk around a lot. I see people throwing lugies on the street, spitting, vomiting all the time. I do not want that in my house. We ask everyone to take off shoes. I guess if they don't like it they won't be back. Fine by me.

You see people vomiting all the time?! In Washington? Crikey! I'm glad I live in NYC, where I rarely see this.

I don’t see vomiting all the time, but I saw plenty of people peeing when I lived in adC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not rude at all. We live in a city and walk around a lot. I see people throwing lugies on the street, spitting, vomiting all the time. I do not want that in my house. We ask everyone to take off shoes. I guess if they don't like it they won't be back. Fine by me.

You see people vomiting all the time?! In Washington? Crikey! I'm glad I live in NYC, where I rarely see this.

I don’t see vomiting all the time, but I saw plenty of people peeing when I lived in adC.

Its reaching crisis level in San Francisco. Whole city stinks now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m 48, grew up in VA (outside NoVA), come from an educated family and my parents were very formal/proper. I would never remove my shoes in someone’s home unless specifically asked to do so. I would comply, but think it’s weird. It seems a bit uncivilized.

This sounds very typical. Families with education who value good manners and are comfortable in situations that call for formal behavior are likely to equate being fully dressed with keeping one's keeping shoes on. They would feel very disrespectful if they were to take off their shoes in any situation outside their own family home.

Probably more common in the US than the posts here would appear to indicate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 48, grew up in VA (outside NoVA), come from an educated family and my parents were very formal/proper. I would never remove my shoes in someone’s home unless specifically asked to do so. I would comply, but think it’s weird. It seems a bit uncivilized.

This sounds very typical. Families with education who value good manners and are comfortable in situations that call for formal behavior are likely to equate being fully dressed with keeping one's keeping shoes on. They would feel very disrespectful if they were to take off their shoes in any situation outside their own family home.

Probably more common in the US than the posts here would appear to indicate.

That’s funny, I’ve lived all over the US and the people who tended to keep shoes on were poor and “uncivilized,” while the wealthier and more educated people were shoes off. I’m assuming previous PPs who find it bizarre/rude/uncivilized have never had any Asian or European friends, then.

For a time I grew up around people like in that show Rosanne, and it was shoes on all the time. I never understood how people could get in bed or stretch out on the couch with shoes on, gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think if you live in a country where the culture is to take off shoes, it's fine to expect people to take their shoes off. But if you are living in a country where that is not the cultural tradition, it is not polite to expect people who are not your own family or very intimate friends to take their shoes off.

Many people in the US see taking off shoes in public as impolite and disrespectful of others with whom you do not have a family type relationship. Respect can equal a certain level of formality to some, and walking around shoeless equals zero formality, and thus respect to them.

I wonder if it's a regional thing. My dad's family is from the midwest (Michigan) and never take their shoes off. I was raised in Philadelphia and all my East Coast friends and cousins were raised to take their shoes off. My West Coast friends, the same. Plus, many of us studied abroad in Asia (Japan for me) which cemented the custom even further. The posters who are insisting that leaving shoes on is American culture -- where are you from and how old are you?

Grew up in the Northeast; raised by a Southern dad (a very formal guy) and Midwestern mom. I'm 52.

I also write thank-you notes, insist on (almost) nightly family dinners in the dining room, and don't think children should call adults by their first names until the adults ask.

I'm the "regional thing" PP. I am 37. Also write thank-you notes, insist on family dinners and my kids formally asking to be excused, and think children should never call adults by their first names unless it's a close family friend who asks them to do so. We use the standard Mr. or Ms. First Name.

I consider myself well-educated and reasonably well-informed about the world and social issues. Still, was raised to take my shoes off in my own home and ask if I should do so in another person's home (and, of course, abide by their preference). And we keep a 90% shoe-free home.

[Anonymous]

so, the people who are horrified about the shoe-free thing, is it the same for kids? When your kids have friends over, especially if it's wet outside, do you not ask them to leave their shoes at the door?

Somehow I imagine most of you who insist that people leave shoes on and also swear your floors are clean have other people who clean your house. If you cleaned your own house, you might feel differently.

[Anonymous]

I’m the PP from VA. You’re right that we didn’t really have friends from other countries where shoe removal is the custom. Our friends and neighbors would have looked at us like we were crazy if we asked them to remove their shoes. Except for a few military families who had lived overseas, most families had little exposure to people from other countries apart from a European vacation or Junior year abroad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 48, grew up in VA (outside NoVA), come from an educated family and my parents were very formal/proper. I would never remove my shoes in someone’s home unless specifically asked to do so. I would comply, but think it’s weird. It seems a bit uncivilized.

This sounds very typical. Families with education who value good manners and are comfortable in situations that call for formal behavior are likely to equate being fully dressed with keeping one's keeping shoes on. They would feel very disrespectful if they were to take off their shoes in any situation outside their own family home.

Probably more common in the US than the posts here would appear to indicate.

Hahaha. Nice try, PP. But I have a PhD, and we have very good manners, thank you. People are constantly complimenting us on our children and how polite and well mannered they are. Most of our friends also have PhDs or at least Masters degrees. (Literally most of them, as in I have trouble thinking of any who don't.) We're also very well travelled and most of our friends are too.

We don't wear shoes inside our house and we offer to remove our shoes by default when entering someone else's home. All of our friends remove shoes by default when we invite them over. They seem to do the same in their own homes.

In our experience, it's the uneducated people who tend to wear shoes in the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not rude at all. We live in a city and walk around a lot. I see people throwing lugies on the street, spitting, vomiting all the time. I do not want that in my house. We ask everyone to take off shoes. I guess if they don't like it they won't be back. Fine by me.

You see people vomiting all the time?! In Washington? Crikey! I'm glad I live in NYC, where I rarely see this.

I don’t see vomiting all the time, but I saw plenty of people peeing when I lived in adC.

Its reaching crisis level in San Francisco. Whole city stinks now.

I used to live there and if we saw something wet on the sidewalks it was more likely to be something else. Good to know that there are options now...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 48, grew up in VA (outside NoVA), come from an educated family and my parents were very formal/proper. I would never remove my shoes in someone’s home unless specifically asked to do so. I would comply, but think it’s weird. It seems a bit uncivilized.

This sounds very typical. Families with education who value good manners and are comfortable in situations that call for formal behavior are likely to equate being fully dressed with keeping one's keeping shoes on. They would feel very disrespectful if they were to take off their shoes in any situation outside their own family home.

Probably more common in the US than the posts here would appear to indicate.

Hahaha. Nice try, PP. But I have a PhD, and we have very good manners, thank you. People are constantly complimenting us on our children and how polite and well mannered they are. Most of our friends also have PhDs or at least Masters degrees. (Literally most of them, as in I have trouble thinking of any who don't.) We're also very well travelled and most of our friends are too.

We don't wear shoes inside our house and we offer to remove our shoes by default when entering someone else's home. All of our friends remove shoes by default when we invite them over. They seem to do the same in their own homes.

In our experience, it's the uneducated people who tend to wear shoes in the house.

It’s not an “educated” vs “uneducated” thing. I have a Master’s and DH has the terminal degree in his field. We are shoe-wearing people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:.
That’s funny, I’ve lived all over the US and the people who tended to keep shoes on were poor and “uncivilized,” while the wealthier and more educated people were shoes off. I’m assuming previous PPs who find it bizarre/rude/uncivilized have never had any Asian or European friends, then.

For a time I grew up around people like in that show Rosanne, and it was shoes on all the time. I never understood how people could get in bed or stretch out on the couch with shoes on, gross.

Shoes on person here. My father was a professor who did research internationally and had grad students from around the world. I'm willing to concede that my preference is that of fuddy-duddies, but not of people who are less clean or less sophisticated than the people who tell guests they can't wear shoes.

How did this turn into wearing shoes to bed or putting shoes on furniture?

[Anonymous]

Most American houses I've been to were dirty. Mind it, not trailers or even country shacks. Sophisticated professors' houses, since I was an international student et cetera. Overall, Americans seem like a very unkempt nation. Basically, unless you're very wealthy and have cleaning staff on payroll, your house is most likely dirty. Especially if you wear outside shoes in your home. You shower and use deodorant, and maybe even dress well, but your house is a shithole, and your kids are playing with their tablets on their beds while wearing sneakers.

[Anonymous]

I can’t believe people feel so strongly about keeping shoes on that they would flat out refuse to go to someone’s house when the relationship was otherwise going well. Carry socks. Or shoe covers. Are you really going to just stand on the stoop and yell for Larlo to come out so you can go home? THAT is rude.

[Anonymous]

I am Asian and I would never ask someone to take their shoes off in my hose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most American houses I've been to were dirty. Mind it, not trailers or even country shacks. Sophisticated professors' houses, since I was an international student et cetera. Overall, Americans seem like a very unkempt nation. Basically, unless you're very wealthy and have cleaning staff on payroll, your house is most likely dirty. Especially if you wear outside shoes in your home. You shower and use deodorant, and maybe even dress well, but your house is a shithole, and your kids are playing with their tablets on their beds while wearing sneakers.

LOL

I will say I’ve been to korea and the floors are often immaculate. But many get on hands and knees and wipe and polish the floors by hand, so no wonder they are gleaming vs pushing dirty mop heads around in the US.