Whitman HS Suicide

[Anonymous]

How much do I hate this thread.

Mental health care is extremely inadequate in this country. Pretty much no psychiatrist takes insurance and you can be on waitlists for years for kids. Please stop blaming parents and schools.

All the tributes say how much they much they liked this kid. Did the people who made these signs actually bother to say this to her when she was alive?

So stop with the judging and the know-it-all attitudes. Be kind to one another here and in life.

Jojo, I'm so sorry you were suffering. I'm so sorry for the pain your family and friends are in now that you're gone. you had beautiful spirit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How much do I hate this thread.

Mental health care is extremely inadequate in this country. Pretty much no psychiatrist takes insurance and you can be on waitlists for years for kids. Please stop blaming parents and schools.

All the tributes say how much they much they liked this kid. Did the people who made these signs actually bother to say this to her when she was alive?

So stop with the judging and the know-it-all attitudes. Be kind to one another here and in life.

Jojo, I'm so sorry you were suffering. I'm so sorry for the pain your family and friends are in now that you're gone. you had beautiful spirit.

+1, I hate all the tributes when clearly they didn't feel that way when she was alive. Its near impossible to get an appointment with a psychiatrist regardless of insurance. There are tons of therapists, but few are really that good. She probably had clinical depression and sadly, it cannot always be treated even with mental health treatment and from the few things people posted, it sounds like parents tried. This is a huge for this family. Let it rest. Let the young woman rest in peace.

[Anonymous]

my son just showed me this. maybe u should check this out for jojo. i bet she would be happy about this.
https://www.change.org/p/donald-trump-increase-resources-for-depressed-and-suicidal-students-in-all-schools-forjojo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s mental illness people, it’s not other people’s fault typically.
Stop harping about things you know nothing about.

It is mental illness but that doesn’t mean there is t fault. My child is currently hospitalized because he is suicidal. Trigger is mostly school pressure. I went to the school once a week at least to try to get supports only to be told my son was fine. But he’s not and he may have been had he received some supports. It’s not the only thing but it was definitely the straw that broke the camels back. So yes sometimes there is blame.

That doesn’t mean it’s the fault of the school. If your son can’t function in that school environment you have to find another environment for him.
It sounds like he needs a therapeutic school - you need to advocate for him and find him another setting.

Most families cannot afford a therapeutic school - maybe are 50K+ a year if not more. The schools, especially MCPS will not pay for it in less the issues are severe and being suicidal generally isn't one. Many families are left on their own to cope and figure it out. Few insurances offer great mental health treatment and there are very few good therapists and psychiatrists out there.

What are you talking about? It sounds like you keep trying to justify your lack of action on behalf of your son . There are tons of good psychiatrists and psychologists - get out there and find appropriate care for your son.

It is extremely hard to get a new patient appointment with an adolescent psychiatrist in this area. And most do not take insurance and charge $400 or more for an intake appointment. You beat whatever drum you have to to get help for your kid, but it is damn hard and expensive.

You do know that even if they don't "take insurance", that you can submit the claim to your insurance? Yes, you might have to put it on a credit card until you are reimbursed, but mental health is a required part of insurance coverage now.

I'm the PP to whom you are responding. Fortunately, my insurance does have some reimbursement for out of network docs, so I am able to submit therapy and psychiatry claims to my insurance company. I also have a $6000 deductible before anything is covered. I spent $12,000 out of pocket last year on mental health care for my teen.

[Anonymous]

Gosh, what a loss. It sounds like she was such a lovely, sweet light of a person, and such a good friend. It’s just tragic.

That this can happen to a laughing, smiling, much loved kid who was social, active and involved in her school community, is what is so terrifying to us parents who seem to be desperately looking for an explanation to calm our own anxiety.

But there’s no easy, palatable answer as to why she took her own, precious life. Except that depression is brutal, particularly during adolescence. It’s just so, so sad.

I’m wishing her loved ones comfort and peace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much do I hate this thread.

Mental health care is extremely inadequate in this country. Pretty much no psychiatrist takes insurance and you can be on waitlists for years for kids. Please stop blaming parents and schools.

All the tributes say how much they much they liked this kid. Did the people who made these signs actually bother to say this to her when she was alive?

So stop with the judging and the know-it-all attitudes. Be kind to one another here and in life.

Jojo, I'm so sorry you were suffering. I'm so sorry for the pain your family and friends are in now that you're gone. you had beautiful spirit.

+1, I hate all the tributes when clearly they didn't feel that way when she was alive. Its near impossible to get an appointment with a psychiatrist regardless of insurance. There are tons of therapists, but few are really that good. She probably had clinical depression and sadly, it cannot always be treated even with mental health treatment and from the few things people posted, it sounds like parents tried. This is a huge for this family. Let it rest. Let the young woman rest in peace.

You have no idea how people felt when she was alive.
I knew JoJo and she was beloved in the community even before this happened.
Both her friends and family knew about her struggles and I truly believe everyone was trying their best.
Some things are not attributed to school stress or bullying, but mental health issues that are difficult to treat.
I'm very offended that so many people in this thread are so presumptuous about the community and JoJo herself, when they are just assuming whatever it is to fit their narrative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much do I hate this thread.

Mental health care is extremely inadequate in this country. Pretty much no psychiatrist takes insurance and you can be on waitlists for years for kids. Please stop blaming parents and schools.

All the tributes say how much they much they liked this kid. Did the people who made these signs actually bother to say this to her when she was alive?

So stop with the judging and the know-it-all attitudes. Be kind to one another here and in life.

Jojo, I'm so sorry you were suffering. I'm so sorry for the pain your family and friends are in now that you're gone. you had beautiful spirit.

+1, I hate all the tributes when clearly they didn't feel that way when she was alive. Its near impossible to get an appointment with a psychiatrist regardless of insurance. There are tons of therapists, but few are really that good. She probably had clinical depression and sadly, it cannot always be treated even with mental health treatment and from the few things people posted, it sounds like parents tried. This is a huge for this family. Let it rest. Let the young woman rest in peace.

You have no idea how people felt when she was alive.
I knew JoJo and she was beloved in the community even before this happened.
Both her friends and family knew about her struggles and I truly believe everyone was trying their best.
Some things are not attributed to school stress or bullying, but mental health issues that are difficult to treat.
I'm very offended that so many people in this thread are so presumptuous about the community and JoJo herself, when they are just assuming whatever it is to fit their narrative.

Jojo was amazing! She deserves love no matter what!

[Anonymous]

Yes. Let's be kinder in the here and now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s mental illness people, it’s not other people’s fault typically.
Stop harping about things you know nothing about.

It is mental illness but that doesn’t mean there is t fault. My child is currently hospitalized because he is suicidal. Trigger is mostly school pressure. I went to the school once a week at least to try to get supports only to be told my son was fine. But he’s not and he may have been had he received some supports. It’s not the only thing but it was definitely the straw that broke the camels back. So yes sometimes there is blame.

This. The environment matters.
“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, First make sure you are not, In fact, just surrounded by assholes.”?—?William Gibson

[Anonymous]

Parenting and schooling matter. A lot.
Let's be completely honest here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:New poster here.

I couldn't sleep last night and spent a lot of time digging around the internet about this poor girl. I agree with the student before me that I don't think this had anything to do with school pressure. I'm not going to share anything but I could somewhat piece together her life and her family's life over the past 10 years (the Internet is a crazy, crazy thing) and I'd doubt academic pressure had anything to do with this.

20:39 here. Right on. It is amazing to see all the speculation. The only thing I would add is that ALL schools (public, charter, independent, parochial) need to have competent counselors. Of course, with the huge cuts to education and health, we are headed in the opposite direction. All parents must self-educate.

[Anonymous]

I wish people would stop discounting the input from the teens on this thread. This is a time for parents to listen instead of imparting "wisdom".

There is something called situational depression and their are many triggers... like divorce and abandonment.

Or like we saw on 13 reasons ... rape (not at all referring to this Whitman case, just another example).

But there are triggers.

So for all you parents that think your "needs" are more important and that "kids are resilient" that is just a lie you tell yourself. Also stop thinking you know better, listen to their needs and let go of your attachments to your kids going to a "great college".

To all the teens dealing with parents and school stress, take pleasure in the simple things... 1 good friend, a sunset, how a butterfly flits about... and remember there is a light at the end of the tunnel where you can create your own life and choose who is in it and who is out of it.

The tunnel maybe very long but if you are in HS you have to see there is a glimmer of light. Your current world is so small and out of your control but in a few years it will be yours to guide. It won't be easy and you might eat a lot of oodles of noodles, but joy is not found in material things and a tribe of friends. Joy is found in 1 good friend and being a good person even if people are not good to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parenting and schooling matter. A lot.
Let's be completely honest here.

Your “completely honest” sounds a lot like blame. It’s easy to blame, isn’t it? Especially when you don’t know the people actually impacted by this tragedy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish people would stop discounting the input from the teens on this thread. This is a time for parents to listen instead of imparting "wisdom".

There is something called situational depression and their are many triggers... like divorce and abandonment.

Or like we saw on 13 reasons ... rape (not at all referring to this Whitman case, just another example).

But there are triggers.

So for all you parents that think your "needs" are more important and that "kids are resilient" that is just a lie you tell yourself. Also stop thinking you know better, listen to their needs and let go of your attachments to your kids going to a "great college".

To all the teens dealing with parents and school stress, take pleasure in the simple things... 1 good friend, a sunset, how a butterfly flits about... and remember there is a light at the end of the tunnel where you can create your own life and choose who is in it and who is out of it.

The tunnel maybe very long but if you are in HS you have to see there is a glimmer of light. Your current world is so small and out of your control but in a few years it will be yours to guide. It won't be easy and you might eat a lot of oodles of noodles, but joy is not found in material things and a tribe of friends. Joy is found in 1 good friend and being a good person even if people are not good to you.

Stop speculating and pontificating endlessly about things you know nothing about!

[Anonymous]

Drug use, even recreational marijuana use, can trigger mental issues in users, particularly younger children and teens. I am not suggesting that was an issue in this case, as I do not know this beautiful girl, but it is something parents should watch for in their own children.