Please take a moment and look at all of the DH sucks-related threads right now

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All the men who are not nice to their wives are in reality not attracted to them or not in love with them.

The men in love with their wives are perfect husbands.

Wanna perfect husband, be lovable, not a shrew.

Agreed. And if you are a shrew a man will not be attracted to you. And if he is not attracted then why will he be nice? You want a man who is a lion - then don't nag him so that he becomes a mouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my case, my husband is clueless about how to parent children, manage a household, manage a family, or take care of a house property or vehicles. All he knows how to do is kiss ass at the office and work 60+ hours a week.

Just like his mother taught him: his job then was to get good grades (no sports). She took care of everything, his father was just a bumbling around in the background w a slow and easy research job.

I am sorry your husband is not pulling his weight at home. Did you ignore signs that he would turn out this way when you were dating or did you miss them. I am not judging, just trying to understand how you ended up with such a bad fit of a spouse for you(some women love workaholics who do nothing else- I have a friend whose husband is like this and she thinks it is cool).

I'm not PP, but this could have been my post. In my case, I was clueless about the traits that are important for the long haul. Now I know flags and indicators. I did not then (23).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well. Women wanted these sensitive, metro sexual men in touch with their feelings. This is what you get..worthless, lacking ambition weak men.

More to the point, judging by the threads, divorce rate and sexless marriages posted about here, there is little reason men see the benefits of marriage. There are great women out there...not many are found in DC or posting on this forum though

When I read this I think of some sensitive guy with a beard. You know, the type who call someone a soulmate. I cannot believe women want these men. You see them all over the place. Those super skinny urban nerds who have the fanny packs.

Where are the men who walk out of the office Thursdays to coach soccer or baseball?

Where are the men that do 6am-9am office work in the weekends and then go teach their kids something or practice a sport together? You think reading your work iPhone 5x an hour is oarwbting? You think you can multitask and know wtf is going on in your real life when you walk around dreaming of your work? Really.

Priorities in practice are way out of whack.

And many men do not respect the homemaker role whatsoever. It's not about what's best for the kids, it's about what's best for himself, and having a milk maid at home so he can check out even more sounds easy peasy to most.

I respect SAHMs. I think it's great for kids plus since I'm a man, it's my duty to be provider. We both work but if she wanted to stay at home and we move out a little further to accommodate cost of living, I'm ok with it. My best friends wife stayed at home until kids were off to elementary ahcool..they had four. Now she's back to being a nurse working part time doing no nifhhts and making good money as she's an RN.

[Anonymous]

I have a wonderful husband, but I know men can suck because in the past, I've had boyfriends who suck and I have friends who have husbands who suck.

My own mother treated my brother so different than my sister and me. We had jobs/responsibilities in high school and we were expected to take care of shit and get shit done. My brother played football and "wasn't good at balancing everything" so he didn't work or wasn't expected to do anything around the house. Mothers need to stop babying their sons. She paid his bills like his cell phone and his car payment even when he graduated from college and had a well paying job. She basically doesn't seem him as someone who is capable of handling "life" and treats him that way. She still rescues him when anything vaguely challenging comes up. It is a disservice to him and to whomever he ends up marrying. Oh, he is 27 now. Maybe he'll be forced to grow up one day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok what is wrong with our lives? We all work, we're all stressed, WTF?! We are obviously being swindled by the powers that be. Stop blaming DH. It's going to get worse under Trump.

Politics forum is that way --------->

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let it sink in. What's happening in our world?

Men suck. They've always sucked. Back in the day when most women stayed at home, it was a given that they'd be responsible for the majority of the household and child rearing burden. In our current society women are now expected to work full time but STILL shoulder the lions share of those duties. It's a joke. My two cents.

Women of a certain class chose to work outside of the home, when it was entirely optional, without consulting their husbands about the housework. If you want to have it all, then have it all. Your circus, your monkeys (to pilfer a phrase I now LOVE).

Nice that you don't think housework and childcare are your responsibilities too. You know, you made the choice to work yourself. Why didn't you consult your wife about housework?

Those aren't my responsibilities. Work and providing for the family are my responsibilities. If DW chooses to work outside the home, then she should have a plan to deal with housework and childcare. Oh, and I have no doubt DW would be out the door in one minute if I decided to quit my job because I wanted to devote myself to the heart and hearth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let it sink in. What's happening in our world?

Men suck. They've always sucked. Back in the day when most women stayed at home, it was a given that they'd be responsible for the majority of the household and child rearing burden. In our current society women are now expected to work full time but STILL shoulder the lions share of those duties. It's a joke. My two cents.

Women of a certain class chose to work outside of the home, when it was entirely optional, without consulting their husbands about the housework. If you want to have it all, then have it all. Your circus, your monkeys (to pilfer a phrase I now LOVE).

Nice that you don't think housework and childcare are your responsibilities too. You know, you made the choice to work yourself. Why didn't you consult your wife about housework?

Those aren't my responsibilities. Work and providing for the family are my responsibilities. If DW chooses to work outside the home, then she should have a plan to deal with housework and childcare. Oh, and I have no doubt DW would be out the door in one minute if I decided to quit my job because I wanted to devote myself to the heart and hearth.

How many hours do you work to provide for the family and how many hours does your DW work in the house? How many vacation hours do you take and how many vacation hours does she take.

Does your DW work a 9-7 like you do? Or what does her house work schedule look like?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All the men who are not nice to their wives are in reality not attracted to them or not in love with them.

The men in love with their wives are perfect husbands.

Wanna perfect husband, be lovable, not a shrew.

Agreed. And if you are a shrew a man will not be attracted to you. And if he is not attracted then why will he be nice? You want a man who is a lion - then don't nag him so that he becomes a mouse.

LOL. You do realize lions don't take care of their cubs? But perhaps that is the point, you can't expect a leopard to change its spots or in this case a man that doesn't see it as his role to take care of his children to do so. But the other point is there are strong males that love their wife and partners in taking care of his family, it's not this dichotomy of either a caveman or a metrosexual stereotypes are the only choices. Just as it's not either a lion or a mouse. In the animal kingdom what about wolves or being the vixen to the red fox. There are examples of monogamy, protectiveness, and partnership in raising the family that can be found in nature if you open your eyes to look for it.

[Anonymous]

SAHM's have a 24 hour shift, and no reviews or performance bonus. And they have guilt that only a husband that does not suck can alleviate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:SAHM's have a 24 hour shift, and no reviews or performance bonus. And they have guilt that only a husband that does not suck can alleviate.

So they are working at SAH when their kids are at school, doing sports, and sleeping? And have no access to money that their husbands work under worse conditions to make? Enough with the hyperbole. You give all SAHMs a bad name with your nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM's have a 24 hour shift, and no reviews or performance bonus. And they have guilt that only a husband that does not suck can alleviate.

So they are working at SAH when their kids are at school, doing sports, and sleeping? And have no access to money that their husbands work under worse conditions to make? Enough with the hyperbole. You give all SAHMs a bad name with your nonsense.

How many hours do you think SAH work in a week?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let it sink in. What's happening in our world?

Men suck. They've always sucked. Back in the day when most women stayed at home, it was a given that they'd be responsible for the majority of the household and child rearing burden. In our current society women are now expected to work full time but STILL shoulder the lions share of those duties. It's a joke. My two cents.

Women of a certain class chose to work outside of the home, when it was entirely optional, without consulting their husbands about the housework. If you want to have it all, then have it all. Your circus, your monkeys (to pilfer a phrase I now LOVE).

Nice that you don't think housework and childcare are your responsibilities too. You know, you made the choice to work yourself. Why didn't you consult your wife about housework?

Those aren't my responsibilities. Work and providing for the family are my responsibilities. If DW chooses to work outside the home, then she should have a plan to deal with housework and childcare. Oh, and I have no doubt DW would be out the door in one minute if I decided to quit my job because I wanted to devote myself to the heart and hearth.

Wow. Seriously? If you have marriage troubles it's probably because you are living in the 1950s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men do more than they ever have before. You think my dad or his dad did jack shit with the kids or dinner or housework? And, for the most part, modern men are putting in just as many hours at their jobs as dad or grandpa did.

Despite working just as hard at paying work and much harder with the kids and house, they get endless shit about not being good enough.

You can say it's because dad and grandpa had it far too easy. And maybe that's the case, but as a modern man, it's tough not to be resentful about doing more and getting shit upon for the effort.

And women aren't doing the exact same thing? Neither of my grandmas ever worked a day in their lives. They cleaned, cooked, raised kids and had dinner on the table at 5pm.

I'm slightly resentful that my DH's job is identical to the one my dad had when I was growing up (both have masters in engineering) but DH's job doesn't pay enough to support a family and my dad's did.

how is that the fault of a DH? and by the way, many, many more men feel incredibly stressed that they are not able to provide the type of lifestyle they would like to for their DWs and families. It's clearly not how the world works today, but men in my generation (and I'm mid 40s) were raised to be the provider. Some have accepted that women can be the main breadwinner but it is a very emasculating feeling, deep down, that we cannot live up to the "standards" of the former generation. I'm not saying that it's right, I'm just saying that it is. We are raising our children to expect to be equal partners - across the board - but that still doesn't help our current generation of mid-career men.

Same can be said for women though. Deep down we're upset that men can't live up to the standards and provide enough for us so that we can stay home and raise our children the way our Grandfathers did.

Speak for yourself. I got rid of my post partum depression by going back to work when my oldest was 13 weeks. I'm thrilled I don't have to SAH and spend my days making my husband and kids' lives easier.

I also got "undepressed" when I went back to work in my career I feel passionate about and I am grateful every day for my job. But I do wonder...if being a SAHM was valued and not looked down on/dismissed, could I also have been happy as a SAHM, hanging out with friends, shopping, volunteering, exercising, making a beautiful home. This would also require a very high earning husband though, and I don't have that. DH makes 130k, I make 60k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM's have a 24 hour shift, and no reviews or performance bonus. And they have guilt that only a husband that does not suck can alleviate.

So they are working at SAH when their kids are at school, doing sports, and sleeping? And have no access to money that their husbands work under worse conditions to make? Enough with the hyperbole. You give all SAHMs a bad name with your nonsense.

How many hours do you think SAH work in a week?

If kids are in school and the family gets a little help from a maid, the number of hours actually spent working can be pretty small.
If the kids are infants and toddlers and there is no help, the hours can be ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let it sink in. What's happening in our world?

Men suck. They've always sucked. Back in the day when most women stayed at home, it was a given that they'd be responsible for the majority of the household and child rearing burden. In our current society women are now expected to work full time but STILL shoulder the lions share of those duties. It's a joke. My two cents.

Women of a certain class chose to work outside of the home, when it was entirely optional, without consulting their husbands about the housework. If you want to have it all, then have it all. Your circus, your monkeys (to pilfer a phrase I now LOVE).

Nice that you don't think housework and childcare are your responsibilities too. You know, you made the choice to work yourself. Why didn't you consult your wife about housework?

Those aren't my responsibilities. Work and providing for the family are my responsibilities. If DW chooses to work outside the home, then she should have a plan to deal with housework and childcare. Oh, and I have no doubt DW would be out the door in one minute if I decided to quit my job because I wanted to devote myself to the heart and hearth.

Not all women are women of a certain class. Some of us do need to work outside the home.