Women: when did men stop noticing you?

[Anonymous]

I'm 40 and fit, and the only time I've been hit on with any frequency was during the 2 years in my early 30s when I was single. I think I acted differently because I was open to attention. When I'm with my step mom--who's 62--she gets hit on all the time. I think men are attracted to her energy. I'm shy and generally don't make eye contact. She's bubbly and vivacious.

[Anonymous]

Finally a silver lining to being ugly! You don't miss what you never had.

[Anonymous]

Most young women today have that stick straight Marsha Brady hair and they are very thin. I never looked like that And that is the style now. So, if you don't look like that, you look older.

[Anonymous]

They haven't; the age of the men who notice me has just gone up I'm 50.

[Anonymous]

I guess I'm confused by what people mean when they say someone hit on them.

I'm tall, thin, blonde, good skin at 40. If you asked me how often I get hit on, I'd say never.

But if you ask me how often I have pleasant verbal exchanges with men in public settings, I'd say all the time.

Am I supposed to think that anytime a man makes a joke or is courteous, they are hitting on me? I guess I'm oblivious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess I'm confused by what people mean when they say someone hit on them.

I'm tall, thin, blonde, good skin at 40. If you asked me how often I get hit on, I'd say never.

But if you ask me how often I have pleasant verbal exchanges with men in public settings, I'd say all the time.

Am I supposed to think that anytime a man makes a joke or is courteous, they are hitting on me? I guess I'm oblivious.

Yes, this is what people are talking about. Attention, noticing you, not necessarily asking for your number.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess I'm confused by what people mean when they say someone hit on them.

I'm tall, thin, blonde, good skin at 40. If you asked me how often I get hit on, I'd say never.

But if you ask me how often I have pleasant verbal exchanges with men in public settings, I'd say all the time.

Am I supposed to think that anytime a man makes a joke or is courteous, they are hitting on me? I guess I'm oblivious.

do you know how to flirt?

[Anonymous]

I just got my hair cut super short and now men are looking at me. LOL

[Anonymous]

12:03 here.

Huh, interesting. I had no idea all these years.

And no, I don't think I know how to flirt. How funny.

[Anonymous]

Not yet (37). I am not particularly attractive, average height, on the average side of thin (maybe 5 pounds to lose). But I'm nice, I smile a lot, and I dress well.

Stopped at the gas station last week to fill my tires and had two guys offer to help me, and one say "Nice to see such a sunny smile on a gray day!" I think guys are people too, they like people who look approachable and nice.

I do think that, in your teens and 20s, guys will hit on you just because you're hot. But RBF doesn't translate well once you're in your 30s, and men stop showing interest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:12:03 here.

Huh, interesting. I had no idea all these years.

And no, I don't think I know how to flirt. How funny.

12:03 again.

Another question regarding flirting. As I said above, I don't really know how to flirt. But I do make eye contact with people and smile/chat, regardless of age or gender. Do you think these men read this as I am flirting?

Like I said, I think I am kind of oblivious.

[Anonymous]

Some still do. I just turned 60

[Anonymous]

I still get hit on at 38 in a semi-regular basis. I am not really pretty but my husband has been told I am hot by our friends when the men are out drinking.

My mom is 68 and is still hit on pretty frequently. She is beautiful. It embarrasses her but my dad gets a kick out of it. He cant leave her alone at a bar when they go out to eat without men trying to steal his seat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Finally a silver lining to being ugly! You don't miss what you never had.

You know this is interesting because I think there may be a kernel of truth in it (not that you are ugly - no way of knowing whether that is true or not). But I was very pretty growing up. I took it for granted that people were nice to me. Never questioned why - thought that this was life for everyone. As I get older, I notice this no longer holds true. People who would have been delighted to chat to me at a party aren't any more. I always thought they wanted to talk to me because I was interesting and intelligent. Now I know that it may just not have been that. I know, cry me a river etc. But it is the difference in treatment that really hits home for me. It makes the feminist me so angry that a woman's value is judged upon her appearance not her substance and so angry at the younger me that I didn't realize earlier that people were reacting to my looks and not my personality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I still very occasionally get attention, but not often. I'm mid-thirties and have had 1 kid, but no midsection wt gain (yet).

I think part of the reason it's a lot less is because when I leave home, it's either for work or kid stuff, and re: the latter I'm sometimes with my husband. Rarely go to any bars etc. these days.

One think I've noticed is that men that have hit on me since college have always been like 10 yrs older; sometimes more. One dude started chatting with me a couple weeks ago--while I was with my toddler--the guy had to be at least 50. Men are pigs.

LOL Your post just reminded me: Recently, while heavily pregnant, I did get hit on in the grocery store by a man with his 2 (maybe 3) boys in tow.

Men are pigs.

Your statement maligns pigs. Now dogs, would be another matter.