Southeast prep/WASP culture

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, all these stereotypes and judgements and criticisms of preps is really hypocritical and ironic.

I am a white wasp who went to boarding school, belongs to a country club, married a preppy man. However, I'm not racist and no one I know is. Im not a douchbag and neither is my husband. In fact I'm probably like many people reading this. I worry about my kids and my finances and my weight and my messy house. I work on my marriage. My job is ok. My life is kind of a rat race. I spend too much time on DCUM. We're all more similar than we realize. We all have challenges. It might be fun painting preppy people in a certain light, but in some ways it's no different than stereotyping any group-- Asians, Hispanics, blondes, engineers.....

Ok, miss "I'm not racist", how many black or hispanic people have been inside your home socially? How many non white children do your children count as friends? Have your children been inside those families homes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, all these stereotypes and judgements and criticisms of preps is really hypocritical and ironic.

I am a white wasp who went to boarding school, belongs to a country club, married a preppy man. However, I'm not racist and no one I know is. Im not a douchbag and neither is my husband. In fact I'm probably like many people reading this. I worry about my kids and my finances and my weight and my messy house. I work on my marriage. My job is ok. My life is kind of a rat race. I spend too much time on DCUM. We're all more similar than we realize. We all have challenges. It might be fun painting preppy people in a certain light, but in some ways it's no different than stereotyping any group-- Asians, Hispanics, blondes, engineers.....

Ok, miss "I'm not racist", how many black or hispanic people have been inside your home socially? How many non white children do your children count as friends? Have your children been inside those families homes?

Many on all counts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, all these stereotypes and judgements and criticisms of preps is really hypocritical and ironic.

I am a white wasp who went to boarding school, belongs to a country club, married a preppy man. However, I'm not racist and no one I know is. Im not a douchbag and neither is my husband. In fact I'm probably like many people reading this. I worry about my kids and my finances and my weight and my messy house. I work on my marriage. My job is ok. My life is kind of a rat race. I spend too much time on DCUM. We're all more similar than we realize. We all have challenges. It might be fun painting preppy people in a certain light, but in some ways it's no different than stereotyping any group-- Asians, Hispanics, blondes, engineers.....

Ok, miss "I'm not racist", how many black or hispanic people have been inside your home socially? How many non white children do your children count as friends? Have your children been inside those families homes?

Pound sand. How many WASPs have you had to your house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not all Southern WASPs are like this. I know a classic Southern WASP who has all the "trappings" mentioned in this thread, and yet is not racist at all. Maybe a little clueless, but definitely not racist.

No, not all of them are like this, but plenty are. DH and I are acquainted with a few of these folks through work and church. Even the ones who are not racist are, as OP put it, clueless. They have lived very sheltered lives. Not their fault as kids, of course, but what's interesting is that even as adults they really don't try to get out of the cocoon. One actually told me a racist joke and when I pointed that out and mentioned our mututal AA friend, he said "oh, but he's not really black."

[Anonymous]

I'm an AA dating a southern WASP and this thread has been an almost therapeutic read for me. I'm not alone!

[Anonymous]

Wasp was always used to describe northern- New England, New York, maybe a little on the other coast, but not the south. Look at the republican party, it is the south, they do not associate with wasp. Wasp is the country club, old school, moneyed Ivies who look down their noise at the south.

[Anonymous]

There are definitely WASPs in the south. They may be different from New England WASPs but they are WASPs just the same.

[Anonymous]

I hear Home Depot has some great wasp killer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This forum has been the best ever! I just moved to DC after living in Raleigh, NC for 8 yrs. Race is always a factor...always, but class can be a serious equalizer. Being black, I appreciated when people came right out with their truth. Some I met had never,EVER had a conversation with a educated black person. Low and behold when you actually talk with someone you find out skin color is just that, something that makes my outward appearance different than yours. Many were surprised at how much we had in common. My daughter attended a private school and eventually the request for play dates came up. I realized the true character of people when there was reciprocity. It's easy to invite the only black girl in your school to your house, much harder to go to the black girl's house. It was a eye opening experience as to how many people truly live in a all-white bubble. [b]But honestly the segregation and bigoted attitudes in the Northeast and South don't differ much. Northeast folks like to say they are liberal, but let someone of color move into their neighborhood.....oh how quick they change.

I agree. In the North it is trendy or PC to say you're liberal and have all kinds of friends, but the reality is that isn't true -- the truth does come out when a non-white family moves into an otherwise all white neighborhood or when someone casually makes a reference to someone being "American" -- meaning Caucasian. At most I find whites willing to befriend well to do/middle class Asians -- and sometimes that's even just surface level -- i.e. coworkers or exchanging hellos at a school event but not invites to functions at home with "real" friends. But I find most are less open to black, Hispanic etc[/b].

[phone]


Nothing but the truth!

Agreed. I feel like southerners are a lot more open/blunt about -- I've never met a Jew/Muslim, I've never had a black friend, I only want to socialize with people from my own race/religion/church etc. While in the north it is PC to want diversity, but we all know many do not REALLY want more than surface level contact; the difference is in the north it comes out in subtle comments, rather than bluntly stating it. I don't even mean those in rural Pa. who have never seen a Jew/Muslim -- I have run into it in places like NYC. Was interviewing last month at one of the top 5 investment banks in NYC. As part of the process, I had to have coffee with this worldly woman in the department -- the typical wealthy NYC upper east side type of person -- though given that she kills herself in I-banking at the age of 50, I suspect she is not old money. Anyway she was engaging and spent half the time talking about her awesome travel experiences, the last time she was in Italy blah blah. We seemed to be getting along great, but she could not contain herself from asking how often I get to go home. I said -- every 4-6 weeks. She looked puzzled. I looked puzzled as I explained -- well my parents are in Philadelphia, it only takes 90 min to get there -- as she said "oh I meant home-home -- India." Nice attitude. A brown person who was born and raised in Pa. certainly cannot be as "American" as her and think of Pa as home, they have to think of India as home -- where they last visited about 15 yrs ago and where their parents came from almost 40 yrs ago. So the attitudes are no different in the north -- just the presentation is different.

[Anonymous]

I've know plenty of douchebags who are not WASPs -- it is equally un-pc to stereotype as it is to be a racist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wasp was always used to describe northern- New England, New York, maybe a little on the other coast, but not the south. Look at the republican party, it is the south, they do not associate with wasp. Wasp is the country club, old school, moneyed Ivies who look down their noise at the south.

This is such bs. The "country club, old school, monied" families have existed in the southeast since the colonial days, and their ancestors attended the Ivies too (apart from establishing culturally "Southern" universities in the Southeast as well). God, please don't respond in this thread when you clearly have no idea what you're talking about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Agreed. I feel like southerners are a lot more open/blunt about -- I've never met a Jew/Muslim, I've never had a black friend, I only want to socialize with people from my own race/religion/church etc. While in the north it is PC to want diversity, but we all know many do not REALLY want more than surface level contact; the difference is in the north it comes out in subtle comments, rather than bluntly stating it. I don't even mean those in rural Pa. who have never seen a Jew/Muslim -- I have run into it in places like NYC. Was interviewing last month at one of the top 5 investment banks in NYC. As part of the process, I had to have coffee with this worldly woman in the department -- the typical wealthy NYC upper east side type of person -- though given that she kills herself in I-banking at the age of 50, I suspect she is not old money. Anyway she was engaging and spent half the time talking about her awesome travel experiences, the last time she was in Italy blah blah. We seemed to be getting along great, but she could not contain herself from asking how often I get to go home. I said -- every 4-6 weeks. She looked puzzled. I looked puzzled as I explained -- well my parents are in Philadelphia, it only takes 90 min to get there -- as she said "oh I meant home-home -- India." Nice attitude. A brown person who was born and raised in Pa. certainly cannot be as "American" as her and think of Pa as home, they have to think of India as home -- where they last visited about 15 yrs ago and where their parents came from almost 40 yrs ago. So the attitudes are no different in the north -- just the presentation is different.

As a fellow Indian-American who lives in DC and aspires to work in New York, this is shocking and disheartening. : /

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Agreed. I feel like southerners are a lot more open/blunt about -- I've never met a Jew/Muslim, I've never had a black friend, I only want to socialize with people from my own race/religion/church etc. While in the north it is PC to want diversity, but we all know many do not REALLY want more than surface level contact; the difference is in the north it comes out in subtle comments, rather than bluntly stating it. I don't even mean those in rural Pa. who have never seen a Jew/Muslim -- I have run into it in places like NYC. Was interviewing last month at one of the top 5 investment banks in NYC. As part of the process, I had to have coffee with this worldly woman in the department -- the typical wealthy NYC upper east side type of person -- though given that she kills herself in I-banking at the age of 50, I suspect she is not old money. Anyway she was engaging and spent half the time talking about her awesome travel experiences, the last time she was in Italy blah blah. We seemed to be getting along great, but she could not contain herself from asking how often I get to go home. I said -- every 4-6 weeks. She looked puzzled. I looked puzzled as I explained -- well my parents are in Philadelphia, it only takes 90 min to get there -- as she said "oh I meant home-home -- India." Nice attitude. A brown person who was born and raised in Pa. certainly cannot be as "American" as her and think of Pa as home, they have to think of India as home -- where they last visited about 15 yrs ago and where their parents came from almost 40 yrs ago. So the attitudes are no different in the north -- just the presentation is different.

As a fellow Indian-American who lives in DC and aspires to work in New York, this is shocking and disheartening. : /

Don't be disheartened -- tons of Indian-Americans at the banks/hedge funds etc. so the NYC populace is used to intelligent Indian-Am and don't think that we should all be driving taxis; you can certainly find yourself a good job there. It's just that every once and a while this kind of hidden bias comes out and blows you away -- bc clearly this lady deals with all kinds of Harvard, Wharton etc. education Indian Am who self-identify as Americans, yet in her mind they "came from India." I so wanted to ask where she/her grandparents came from -- but then it was an interview . . . .

[Anonymous]

Wow.

This is one of the more interesting threads on dcum.

[Anonymous]

NY Jew who moved to South Carolina for grad school at 21...definitely was culture shock for me.....the upscale or aspiring upscale girls all wanted to be married in their early twenties... A thought that had never even crossed my mind at that age...many of the girls in my doctoral program were doing it to get their Mrs or make themselves look more attractive to eligible bachelors.. But had no intention of ever using the degree. The guys also puzzled me with their long bangs, plaid shorts, strange expressions, and good ol boys club. Took me a few weeks to figure out why the grocery stores were empty on Sundays...everyone was at church. Racial lines were strongly drawn with not much intermingling.