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If you DON'T live in DC, why did you ultimately decide to go private?
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Anonymous
"DD met a better class of people." - this comment is just a flame and should be ignored. The rest actually have some merit and since the question is why DIDN'T you send your kids to public you have to say what you did NOT like about public. So - these are things people did not like "We gave MCPS a try but quickly found out that it is a one-size-fits all system that is mainly focused on teaching kids to be compliant. " "a three-ring circus of "edu-speak", political correctness and a lack of discipline" here are some echoes of the post you just criticized, but this one came first: "the public schools (ours is FCPS) teach to a test, one size fits all, memorization etc. This year's class size is 30. My child has spent most of the year complaining about being bored ..." "Do public school teachers like teaching to the test, drilling kids, and encouraging memorization over imagination?" And my personal favorite: "we could look back and see just how "girl-friendly" the public schools were." As for the "girl-friendly" comment - I find this to be true too and told - my son was not actually ADHD but just hated to sit all day long and an all boys school with 4 recesses and gym everyday is more "boy-friendly". I think if you send your kids to public you may not find it to be true for YOUR kid but some have found it to be true for THEIR kid. I think these are all valid points. Not snarky. |
Anonymous
| OK, but can you see why some people found them offensive? They are stated in sweeping ways, as if this is true of all publics. And some of the language itself if snarky ("three-ring circus..."). |
Anonymous
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I think the point is, it's unrealistic for some posters to feel entitled to a private haven where they can insult something or somebody (whatever, whoever!) willy-nilly, and not be confronted.
In my opinion, the public posts only got really nasty after the nitwit poster said, essentially, "all publics suck." |
Anonymous
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Not a private haven, but a conversation that's responsive to the general question rather than an endless rehashing of pointless debates . "All publics suck" was, actually, responsive in this case -- it gives the OP insight into the mindset of some people who choose private over good public (OP's original premise/question). Presumably OP and anyone else with at least half a brain can take an answer like that for what it's worth without the assistance of the perennial whackjob poster who wants to talk about DCUMMIES and entitlement bubbles.
I recognize that you (10:41) aren't that poster, but defending/cheering her on (even slightly nervously) doesn't really help matters. When somebody does something offensive to you (i.e. all publics suck), it doesn't vindicate the equal and opposite reaction. |
Anonymous
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I'm 10:41.
I guess I don't get the distinction between treatment of bashing private vs. public schools. The advice here on how to treat posters who bash public schools ranges from 7:36's advice to ignore "DD met a better class of people" as a flame, to your advice to take "all publics suck" as insight into the mind of a nitwit. I see a double standard here. Re posters who bash private schools, you argue there is no defense, ever, for the DCUMMIES poster. In my mind this poster is no doubt a flamer and a whackjob. But she is not materially different from the "all publics suck" poster (who to me is a flamer) and the "DD met a better class of people" poster (who 7:36 says is a flamer). To me, a flame is a flame. Nobody is "cheering on" the DCUMMIES poster. But on the other hand, I don't want to see double standards, where private school-bashing flames are censored, but public school-bashing flames are dismissed (as mere flames) or even defended (like the nitwit, for whom there is no excuse in my book). |
Anonymous
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It would be a double standard if the question was are public schools better than private schools or vice versa. But that wasn't the question.
Public school boosterism is an irrelevant tangent in a thread asking people why they chose private over a good public. Just as "privates are really the only place you can get a decent education in this area" would be an irrelevant tangent in a thread asking which public school district should I move into. And might well lead to people asking why someone who feels that way is posting on the public school boards. Add nastiness to the irrelevancy and people object and/or characterize the post as a flame. "No redeeming value" (wasn't that the actual phrase?) wasn't flaming -- i.e. she wasn't deliberately saying something offensive to start/sustain a fight -- she was expressing an ideological point-of-view. And that POV was directly relevant to the question asked -- it explained why the quality of her local public schools had no impact on her decision to send her kids to private. And there's no censorship here -- censorship is when govts prevent or punish publication of ideas. |
Anonymous
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Sorry, it is a double-standard. A question, "why did you choose private over a good public" has two sides. Both sides need to be heard. The public school side especially needs to be heard when (a) there is misinformation, or (b) it's simply that there are opposing points of view. Coming on here to do these isn't merely "public school boosterism."
It may not be government censorship, but it is posters trying to censor each other by telling public school parents they don't belong here. If one side can flame the other, but the other isn't allowed to flame back, this isn't an actual debate. FWIW, I thought "no redeeming value" poster WAS trying to start a fight. Does any sane adult really write things like, "I see absolutely nothing positive about public schools"? Nobody is this thoughtless in real life. In fact, she seems to have gone on to start a whole new thread called something like "suburban public schools suck." |
Anonymous
| I get your point PP but this was not intended to be a debate. OP was asking private school parents why they chose private instead of their suburban public option. I do not see why this turned into a why public is better than private debate. She was not enlisting the opinion of the public school community. OP already knows the schools are good she wants to know why even with a good school in your neighborhood did you decide to select a private school. |
Anonymous
Speaking for myself, I don't mind public school families participating constructively on the private school forum. I welcome any useful and on-topic input. But when you see someone pushing an agenda that doesn't fit in the forum, and often doesn't even fit the thread topic, it tends to look like she's just trying to pick a fight. I'm sure it's a very small minority of public school parents who do that sort of thing (hopefully a minority of one!), but it really sticks out. It would be sort of like some non-parent posting on these forums to tell all us parents we are raising our kids wrong. I doubt many of us would have much patience for that sort of thing. |
Anonymous
I'm the OP, and 8:59 is correct in surmising my intent. I KNOW the reasons why I'd send my child to the outstanding public school a few blocks from my home. That's an easy answer. However, DH and I are bouncing around a few ideas as to why we might still consider a private school, and I was interested in understanding why others in similar circumstances made that decision in favor of private. I know that threads get off track, and posters like the "all publics suck" are clearly ridiculous, and in fact, offered nothing to answer my original question so in my mind were ignored anyways. If the question was "which is better, public or private", then there are two sides. But my question "in the face of a good public, why did you choose private" is not a two-sided question, it's aimed at parents who have already made a particular decision and wanting to understand their reasoning. I appreciate the honesty and thoughtful candor of many of the PPs. |
Anonymous
"Nitwit" aka "no redeeming value" poster here. No, I did not start a new thread. I have watched with interest all the references to my post(s). I was not "flaming" to start a flight. I was merely expressing my opinion, however unpopular it may be with others, in response to OP question. We fall into the "would never choose public over private" sector and I thought that was as direct an answer to her question as possible. In other words, I was letting OP know that, for us, the quality of a local public was not a factor in our decision to go private. Certainly we are not alone in that category as I know many others who feel similarly. Since many posters seem disquieted by my response, I will go into more detail. I had not gone into detail because I felt that my underlying reasons were not of as much value to OP as my direct and all-encompassing response that basically, I do not see any reason to send my children to a public school when we can afford a good private school. To me, no public school offers (my) children what a good private offers. I have put quite a bit of thought into this over the years. The only reason I would consider that public might be a better choice would be due to an offering of diversity (whether socio-economic or skin color or religion) but, in the DC metro region's schools, this one reason does not exist. In Washington, DC, private schools are, in many cases, more diverse than the best area publics, largely because the school roster is not based on geographical proximity/ability to buy expensive property. The privates we considered in Washington have an excellent tradition of FA and in recruiting many types of diveristy for admission. Further, the parents who make the effort to review, research, and apply their child/ren to schools and, if necessary go even further by applying for FA, are to my mind, the parents most thoughtfully and actively involved in ensuring their children are not only well-educated but also excellent citizens and well mannered, well brought up, good people. That type of parent, the "thoughtful one" (for lack of a better term) can not be characterized as one with the financial ability to buy a million dollar home or with the skin color or religion to feel comfortable buying in any and all neighborhoods. For me, however, that thoughtful parent is the one that I want to have parenting the children with whom my children go to school. I am certainly not saying parents who send children to public schools are inherently unthinking or uncaring. Rather, I think you find far fewer parents who have not thought long and hard about their children's educational experience (an experience that includes more than just academics) in privates due largely to the effort required to get a child into private school. Further, I prefer the greater access that private school gives me to oversee and participate in my childrens' school experience. Lastly, the issue which is most important to me is the values and morals my children are surrounded by in their school environment. I want these to reflect our family values and morals. That is much, much easier to find in a self-selected private school and virtually impossible to find in public. Indeed, other posters may prefer to color this aspect negatively by calling it a bubble or snobbery but, I do not believe it is either, as it is a value judgment based not on money nor class, not color or relgious affiliation, but a judgement based on a shared belief, both with other parents who have chosen the school and those who run the school, that the attributes of a person's charater are shaped largely by the company they keep as they grow. I want my children to grow and learn with other children who's parents I know are as interested in strong character and strong morals as they are in strong academics |
Anonymous
| Thanks for informing us of your underlying beliefs and notions supporting your preference for private school. Duly noted. Suffice to say, underlying beliefs and notions are simply that ... underlying beliefs and notions (nothing more, nothing less). |
Anonymous
| NP here. I agree 100% with pp. We live on a good public school district but never considered public schools for our children for almost exactly the same reasons. |
Anonymous
I meant 10:39 pp |
Anonymous
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OP here. 10:39 response was actually very valuable, far more so than just saying "I'd never choose public". It answered my question with regard to the reasons. Some people may not agree with some or all of your reasons. I may not agree with some or all of your reasons, yet they give me additional things to think about to see if they matter to us or not.
Long post to type, but would have saved lots of people flaming you!! |