Men seem eager to be remarried!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They just want a bang-nanny. Don’t fall for it!

why not? A lot of women want that so what's the issue?

A lot of women want to care for a mans children with other women and be an on-demand sex doll? Some sure, but hardly "a lot".

Men are so delusional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m literally being told by the divorced dads: I want a family structure; I want another kid; I have money and can support a family.

Yeah, they do. They also want someone to do the household stuff (best case, split the load). They do not want to be solely responsible for household and kid stuff. Which is fine, I don't either, but the big question is why did they divorce then?

This. Women usually file for divorce…not men. 70% are initiated by the woman.

I keep hearing this stat on this board; is there a citation?

It is cited so many places

Honestly, men are more pragmatic when it comes to the prospect of divorce. They take time, perform a Benefit Cost Analysis and find the best scenario and will probably only pull the divorce trigger when most expeditious and cost-effective. Look at the lesbian divorce rate vs gay men if you want to some broader context. Why is it the way it is? Why such a stark contrast? Anyone?

I don’t have insight into every man, but when my exDH knew I was unhappy about his treatment of me and the kids and the imbalance within our family life, he waited until things were perfectly tipped in his favor to file. Spent down our shared assets, got a secret promotion, filed 2 weeks before the title and pay raise was official, and then pranced off into the sunset with a 7 figure salary and me making less than 1/10th of that.

The second he realized the balance of our relationship was permanently in his favor, he was done with it. He got what he needed- kids old enough to not need to be wiped or buckled in, childcare so he could build his career- and he was out.

Why weren't all these facts considered? Spending down marital assets just before a divorce is considered dissipation of assets. His new title and pay raise remain relevant to an equitable division of assets, spousal support, and child support, even if they were announced two weeks after filing. Your lawyer just rolled over on these issues?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They want someone to take care of their home, them, and kids?

Bingo

Seriously, if my husband asks me what's for dinner one more time..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m literally being told by the divorced dads: I want a family structure; I want another kid; I have money and can support a family.

Our friends are getting divorced. She's 51, he's 52, they have one teenager. She absolutely does not want more kids, he does. I think he's crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m literally being told by the divorced dads: I want a family structure; I want another kid; I have money and can support a family.

Our friends are getting divorced. She's 51, he's 52, they have one teenager. She absolutely does not want more kids, he does. I think he's crazy.

It makes perfect sense. It's not like he had any hand in the actual raising of this child, so he remembers it super fondly. It was so easy! Babies are so easy! Toddlers are so easy! Let's have more.

And of course, whatever woman dumb enough to fall for it will end up doing 99% again. These people are terrible parents and it's always a terrible idea, but they go ahead with it anyways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m literally being told by the divorced dads: I want a family structure; I want another kid; I have money and can support a family.

lol ok. Do you think that’s a good thing? What you want to hear from divorced dads is “my priority is my kids - I want to provide them with stability and have a great relationship with them.”

That's what a nice, normal, stable woman would want. The kind of women these men want are not desirable. (PP, I'm not saying you're not desirable, these men are just telling you these things, you sound smart enough to run away from them).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m literally being told by the divorced dads: I want a family structure; I want another kid; I have money and can support a family.

Our friends are getting divorced. She's 51, he's 52, they have one teenager. She absolutely does not want more kids, he does. I think he's crazy.

I’m still married and have four kids, but I can imagine my husband wanting a redo. He really was not around when they were little, and I know that he regrets not experiencing that.
Hopefully he will throw himself into being a grandparent in a few years and doesn’t run off to start a new family!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m literally being told by the divorced dads: I want a family structure; I want another kid; I have money and can support a family.

Yeah, they do. They also want someone to do the household stuff (best case, split the load). They do not want to be solely responsible for household and kid stuff. Which is fine, I don't either, but the big question is why did they divorce then?

I divorced when my kids were 15 and 13. I dated but didn't marry until one was graduated from university and the other was a junior in college. I ran my household perfectly fine on my own, and I effectively had 90% physical custody as the kids didn't want to live with their mother for a variety of reasons. Men run their households just fine, thank you very much. And the fact that you automatically slandered an entire gender with this trope indicates lazy, archaic thinking and likely more than a touch of bitterness and projection. You're just not in touch with the real world and your misandry is revolting. Be better.

Maybe take heart in the fact that you defy the stereotype, rather than attacking a woman for pointing that out to you. Most men don’t run households, period. It’s great that you do. But acknowledging the infrequency of that is not misandry.

I'm not the PP but I'm a woman married to a great guy who is the opposite of the men who are always complained about on here. When people say things like "they" it makes it sound like they're talking about all men, hence why the PP said hey, not all men are like that. To your point, he isn't the norm, but his point is that it often sounds like people are saying all men do X or don't do X and it is annoying when you think my husband (or I) don't fit into that statement so you are wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They want someone to take care of their home, them, and kids?

Bingo

Seriously, if my husband asks me what's for dinner one more time..

I cook all the meals in my house. What should I do if my wife asks me what’s for dinner one more time? Do tell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m literally being told by the divorced dads: I want a family structure; I want another kid; I have money and can support a family.

Yeah, they do. They also want someone to do the household stuff (best case, split the load). They do not want to be solely responsible for household and kid stuff. Which is fine, I don't either, but the big question is why did they divorce then?

I divorced when my kids were 15 and 13. I dated but didn't marry until one was graduated from university and the other was a junior in college. I ran my household perfectly fine on my own, and I effectively had 90% physical custody as the kids didn't want to live with their mother for a variety of reasons. Men run their households just fine, thank you very much. And the fact that you automatically slandered an entire gender with this trope indicates lazy, archaic thinking and likely more than a touch of bitterness and projection. You're just not in touch with the real world and your misandry is revolting. Be better.

Maybe take heart in the fact that you defy the stereotype, rather than attacking a woman for pointing that out to you. Most men don’t run households, period. It’s great that you do. But acknowledging the infrequency of that is not misandry.

I'm not the PP but I'm a woman married to a great guy who is the opposite of the men who are always complained about on here. When people say things like "they" it makes it sound like they're talking about all men, hence why the PP said hey, not all men are like that. To your point, he isn't the norm, but his point is that it often sounds like people are saying all men do X or don't do X and it is annoying when you think my husband (or I) don't fit into that statement so you are wrong.

On average, women are more inclined toward categorical thinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m literally being told by the divorced dads: I want a family structure; I want another kid; I have money and can support a family.

Yeah, they do. They also want someone to do the household stuff (best case, split the load). They do not want to be solely responsible for household and kid stuff. Which is fine, I don't either, but the big question is why did they divorce then?

I divorced when my kids were 15 and 13. I dated but didn't marry until one was graduated from university and the other was a junior in college. I ran my household perfectly fine on my own, and I effectively had 90% physical custody as the kids didn't want to live with their mother for a variety of reasons. Men run their households just fine, thank you very much. And the fact that you automatically slandered an entire gender with this trope indicates lazy, archaic thinking and likely more than a touch of bitterness and projection. You're just not in touch with the real world and your misandry is revolting. Be better.

Maybe take heart in the fact that you defy the stereotype, rather than attacking a woman for pointing that out to you. Most men don’t run households, period. It’s great that you do. But acknowledging the infrequency of that is not misandry.

I'm not the PP but I'm a woman married to a great guy who is the opposite of the men who are always complained about on here. When people say things like "they" it makes it sound like they're talking about all men, hence why the PP said hey, not all men are like that. To your point, he isn't the norm, but his point is that it often sounds like people are saying all men do X or don't do X and it is annoying when you think my husband (or I) don't fit into that statement so you are wrong.

Which IS THE POINT. The vast majority of men (norm) don't behave like this. Count yourself lucky that you found one of the good ones! I consider my husband fairly similar as well. But you can understand that a few good apples don't outweigh the stats.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am in a relationship with a divorced dad and I have dated others.

I think you are too young to be spending time on divorced dads. There are a LOT of downsides. I think you should focus on men who don't have kids for at least a few years. I wish I had.

[Anonymous]

I don’t see the upside. The girlfriend of my ex is taking care of my kids when they’re with him and they are not married. She’s basically a glorified live in nanny. Except maybe a nanny has more job protection? And she has to sleep with him, I presume, but of course I don’t know those details…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They want someone to take care of their home, them, and kids?

Bingo

Seriously, if my husband asks me what's for dinner one more time..

I cook all the meals in my house. What should I do if my wife asks me what’s for dinner one more time? Do tell.

Do you do the cooking because you want to or because neither of you want to, but the task is ascribed to you because of your gender?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see the upside. The girlfriend of my ex is taking care of my kids when they’re with him and they are not married. She’s basically a glorified live in nanny. Except maybe a nanny has more job protection? And she has to sleep with him, I presume, but of course I don’t know those details…

This seems like the best of all possible worlds for you! If I knew for sure that my husband would find a nice girlfriend who would help take care of my kids, I would divorce in a second. Unfortunately, my dear dear husband is a doctor who spends most of his spare time in AA meetings. So I think the chances are good that he would find a woman who thinks she can start using again and he will fund her drug habit.