Are we ready for the Thanksgiving Vent thread?

[Anonymous]

My husband grew up very different from me.
You know how you can tell you are at a Thanksgiving with Southern White old money?
Thanksgiving is at someone’s beach house with 9 bedrooms and 9 bathrooms……and the Dog show is on the big TV and they are drunk and can’t be pulled away from the dog show…

My husband’s brother and wife and boys get to stay with his parents at the beach house. Us? Nope. Husband married a girl from the hood who got 3 degrees from a top 10 school…..but I wasn’t what they approved of….not good enough. It’s sorta better now after 25 years..They warmed up to me after my daughter literally aced the SAT at 13. I guess my genetics weren’t “unfortunate” after all. Sorry. Still pissed about things said to me after marriage.

Vent over. Leaving in 18 hours……I don’t drink. Arrg.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ILs sit in total silence. They speak to no one including their son and grandkids, unkess its answerin a question. Any and all socializing is torture for these people. I am indeed afraid that my kids have inherited this defect and as my husband ages he seems to be getting more like them.
My dad sits in blissful solitude because he "forgot" his hearing aids again.
My mom is telling my ILs various sob stories trying desperately to get a reaction or sympathy out of them. She will get nothing and end up tipsy on my deck, in tears, asking why I married into such a weird family.

My SIL’s kids don’t talk either. We see them all the time and they just play on their phones. My husband once cheerfully called out “so nice talking to you” as we were leaving. Their excuse is that Covid was hard for them, socially. It’s been five years. They should be able to converse with relatives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband grew up very different from me.
You know how you can tell you are at a Thanksgiving with Southern White old money?
Thanksgiving is at someone’s beach house with 9 bedrooms and 9 bathrooms……and the Dog show is on the big TV and they are drunk and can’t be pulled away from the dog show…

My husband’s brother and wife and boys get to stay with his parents at the beach house. Us? Nope. Husband married a girl from the hood who got 3 degrees from a top 10 school…..but I wasn’t what they approved of….not good enough. It’s sorta better now after 25 years..They warmed up to me after my daughter literally aced the SAT at 13. I guess my genetics weren’t “unfortunate” after all. Sorry. Still pissed about things said to me after marriage.

Vent over. Leaving in 18 hours……I don’t drink. Arrg.

So where do you stay and why didn't your husband say anything about staying at the 9 bedroom house?

[Anonymous]

The baby can’t walk yet and she is SO MAD about it. My ear drums hurt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ILs sit in total silence. They speak to no one including their son and grandkids, unkess its answerin a question. Any and all socializing is torture for these people. I am indeed afraid that my kids have inherited this defect and as my husband ages he seems to be getting more like them.
My dad sits in blissful solitude because he "forgot" his hearing aids again.
My mom is telling my ILs various sob stories trying desperately to get a reaction or sympathy out of them. She will get nothing and end up tipsy on my deck, in tears, asking why I married into such a weird family.

My SIL’s kids don’t talk either. We see them all the time and they just play on their phones. My husband once cheerfully called out “so nice talking to you” as we were leaving. Their excuse is that Covid was hard for them, socially. It’s been five years. They should be able to converse with relatives.

I wouldn’t converse with rude, judgmental, snarky adults who are deliberately unkind, either. You’re a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ILs sit in total silence. They speak to no one including their son and grandkids, unkess its answerin a question. Any and all socializing is torture for these people. I am indeed afraid that my kids have inherited this defect and as my husband ages he seems to be getting more like them.
My dad sits in blissful solitude because he "forgot" his hearing aids again.
My mom is telling my ILs various sob stories trying desperately to get a reaction or sympathy out of them. She will get nothing and end up tipsy on my deck, in tears, asking why I married into such a weird family.

My SIL’s kids don’t talk either. We see them all the time and they just play on their phones. My husband once cheerfully called out “so nice talking to you” as we were leaving. Their excuse is that Covid was hard for them, socially. It’s been five years. They should be able to converse with relatives.

I wouldn’t converse with rude, judgmental, snarky adults who are deliberately unkind, either. You’re a problem.

You’re wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ILs sit in total silence. They speak to no one including their son and grandkids, unkess its answerin a question. Any and all socializing is torture for these people. I am indeed afraid that my kids have inherited this defect and as my husband ages he seems to be getting more like them.
My dad sits in blissful solitude because he "forgot" his hearing aids again.
My mom is telling my ILs various sob stories trying desperately to get a reaction or sympathy out of them. She will get nothing and end up tipsy on my deck, in tears, asking why I married into such a weird family.

My SIL’s kids don’t talk either. We see them all the time and they just play on their phones. My husband once cheerfully called out “so nice talking to you” as we were leaving. Their excuse is that Covid was hard for them, socially. It’s been five years. They should be able to converse with relatives.

I wouldn’t converse with rude, judgmental, snarky adults who are deliberately unkind, either. You’re a problem.

You’re wrong.

Any adult who would sarcastically chide kids who don’t want to be there in the first place is a jerk. I said what I said.

[Anonymous]

I am the silent relative who gives a lot of one word answers at my IL's Thanksgiving. I wasn't always, but my BIL is mentally unstable and I learned this, plus taking lots of breaks to be away from people, is the best way to avoid conflict or setting him off. I can tell my silence also angers him but I can't bring myself to fake converse with him while also walking on all the eggshells you have to walk on, while also trying to parent my kids. So I keep to myself, and disengage, disengage, disengage.

[Anonymous]

I have an improvement this year - my MIL used to always comment on weight but this year she said "you look younger, what have you done?" and I was like "oh maybe this new moisturizer I've been using".

Readers, I lost 30lbs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the silent relative who gives a lot of one word answers at my IL's Thanksgiving. I wasn't always, but my BIL is mentally unstable and I learned this, plus taking lots of breaks to be away from people, is the best way to avoid conflict or setting him off. I can tell my silence also angers him but I can't bring myself to fake converse with him while also walking on all the eggshells you have to walk on, while also trying to parent my kids. So I keep to myself, and disengage, disengage, disengage.

I’m sorry you have to deal with that.

But a different situation than kids who are allowed to stare at their screens the whole day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not a vent, but a tip- our houseguets only came for 3 nights this year, and I think this length of trip is what will keep everyone sane. You can do anything for 3 days!

SAME. Wednesday - Saturday FTW. This gives us Sunday to do our own thing. I NEED Sunday.

[Anonymous]

My SIL is constantly in the corner whispering something judgmental about me to my MIL. She thinks she's being quiet, but she is not.

[Anonymous]

I forgive everyone who has ever charged an admission fee to family for thanksgiving dinner. My Mac and cheese ingredients just cost $45. End rant

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My SIL is constantly in the corner whispering something judgmental about me to my MIL. She thinks she's being quiet, but she is not.

Wow, that’s crazy and so immature of her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the silent relative who gives a lot of one word answers at my IL's Thanksgiving. I wasn't always, but my BIL is mentally unstable and I learned this, plus taking lots of breaks to be away from people, is the best way to avoid conflict or setting him off. I can tell my silence also angers him but I can't bring myself to fake converse with him while also walking on all the eggshells you have to walk on, while also trying to parent my kids. So I keep to myself, and disengage, disengage, disengage.

I get this. I grew up a bit like this, walking on eggshells , and was always anxious if anyone was arguing. I’m Still a bit like this w some more difficult people, including family members. I keep to the boring topics all mentioned in previous posts! I am wistful of extended families that have easy banter going on throughout their visits.