Embarrassed about Towson

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Let’s make this very simple, if anyone on this thread thinks going to Towson is something to be embarrassed about, you are scum.

Wow...this is so far from the truth and reality that it's crazy.

You are mentally ill if you think Towson is embarrassing. Hopefully you seek treatment and your kids don’t end up like you.

No, I'm not, you are though. The OP's feelings are more than justified.

Bullshit

You're clearly not in society or something if you're so far off the deep end you can't see reality for what it is.

Are you drunk already, sweetie? Enough of your bullshit.

You are exactly the class of person I would except to be associated with a school like Townson. You are part of the reason why it is embarrassing!!!

I have no association with Towson, sweetie! You’re still full of shit.

Sorry you can't afford to be embarrassed because Townson is the best your people could ever do.

Take note folks, the true colors are coming out!! This poster really is scum.

You were the troll who said Towson wasn't embarrassing to anyone and no one could ever think that (a lie).

You literally can’t even articulate what’s wrong with Towson.

I have to make an argument for why a school with an 1100 SAT average and an 80% admit rate is embarrassing for a kid who scored 1480 on the SAT?

A lot of people at Towson scored much higher than 1100. And there is the honors college where the cohort will be higher achieving. College applications are a crapshoot and a lot of people won't get into specific colleges even if they have great test scores.

The kid can decide if he wants to transfer after a year or two, but if anyone is embarrassed they have other issues.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Maryland has few choices? What? There’s a college every five minutes here. Good grief, people are full of it.

It's true. Virginia has UVA, William and Mary, and VTech that are seen as non-embarrassing options. Maryland only has UMDCP.

That’s not true outside of the DCUM privileged bubble. I can’t imagine being embarrassed for kids who happily go to Towson, UMBC, or any of the others. PP, your world view is rigid and I can’t imagine having such a narrow definition of success or value. It would suck.

I'm being 100% serious and not trying to offend you when I say I think this is just a class difference. UMC parents would be embarrassed and don't see either of those schools as acceptable.

Then they really need to get a grip. Objectively speaking, they are out of touch.

There is no objective standard for what is acceptable. There are circles where escaping high school without joining a gang is the dream for parents, there are circles where going to community college (on it's own, not for the sake of transferring) is something special, there are circles where getting into Towson is perfectly fine, and there are circles where having a child not get into a T20 is met with commiseration and sympathy. Each is "out of touch" with the others, and that is okay, because they are in touch with themselves. OP's feelings are valid, depending on her circle.

I mean all feelings are valid but that doesn’t make OP’s values any less f’ed up. I have relatives who were acting like it was the end of the world when one of their kids was going to have to go to a SUNY. like serious dramatics and whispers about “Oh so and so are under so much stress - things are really tough at their house right now with Larlo.” I thought it was like drug addiction or mental illness … turns out is was that they were freaking out that he was possibly headed for a SUNY. (In the end he’s going to a needlessly expensive private college but I guess 1/2 mil down the drain is better than a state college.)

money and prestige really mess up perspective. No your kid going to Towson is not the same as your kid joining a gang. wtf.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I'm kind of stuck on why he couldn't go away for school. Why not?

I'm the OP. DH just doesn't believe in going away or paying application fees for schools we were not interested in. He thinks his children should be close and that you shouldn't pay more for a school that has similar outcomes but OOS prices. We had many discussions about it. We both strongly believed that our child would get into Maryland and we wouldn't need to worry about it. It came as a great shock that he didn't get in. Still, DH is outwardly saying that it was the right decision and UMD just wasn't meant to be and Towson is just as good. I don't agree, but for my son's sake I am trying to get there.

Did your son get $ from Towson? He definitely could have at a number of OOS schools with better name recognition/ranking (if that's important). Dad seems really stubborn, and he should own this, honestly. I would tell him that if he were my husband. (Especially if you have other kids and he can recreate this mistake again!)

I don't know much about Towson, but I know multiple people who have gone from UMBC to Ivy or adjacent grad schools and are doing great things. Your son can do great at Towson but also let him transfer if he's interested. I bet in-state transferring into UMD is easier than undergrad.

It's amazing how competitive even UMD has gotten. It was not like that 30 years ago.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I'm kind of stuck on why he couldn't go away for school. Why not?

I'm the OP. DH just doesn't believe in going away or paying application fees for schools we were not interested in. He thinks his children should be close and that you shouldn't pay more for a school that has similar outcomes but OOS prices. We had many discussions about it. We both strongly believed that our child would get into Maryland and we wouldn't need to worry about it. It came as a great shock that he didn't get in. Still, DH is outwardly saying that it was the right decision and UMD just wasn't meant to be and Towson is just as good. I don't agree, but for my son's sake I am trying to get there.

Did your son get $ from Towson? He definitely could have at a number of OOS schools with better name recognition/ranking (if that's important). Dad seems really stubborn, and he should own this, honestly. I would tell him that if he were my husband. (Especially if you have other kids and he can recreate this mistake again!)

I don't know much about Towson, but I know multiple people who have gone from UMBC to Ivy or adjacent grad schools and are doing great things. Your son can do great at Towson but also let him transfer if he's interested. I bet in-state transferring into UMD is easier than undergrad.

It's amazing how competitive even UMD has gotten. It was not like that 30 years ago.

OP should not have let dad control this. While I think Towson is fine it was dumb not to explore other possible options.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Maryland has few choices? What? There’s a college every five minutes here. Good grief, people are full of it.

It's true. Virginia has UVA, William and Mary, and VTech that are seen as non-embarrassing options. Maryland only has UMDCP.

That’s not true outside of the DCUM privileged bubble. I can’t imagine being embarrassed for kids who happily go to Towson, UMBC, or any of the others. PP, your world view is rigid and I can’t imagine having such a narrow definition of success or value. It would suck.

I'm being 100% serious and not trying to offend you when I say I think this is just a class difference. UMC parents would be embarrassed and don't see either of those schools as acceptable.

I’m UMC and went to an Ivy and see those schools as perfectly acceptable.

[Anonymous]

There’s nothing embarrassing about Towson. Honestly, where you go doesn’t matter, it’s what you do there. My DH went to a school comparable to Towson. He got into med school, was picked for a great residency and fellowship and makes a 7 figure salary.

Also to note: We live in a college town there there is a private LAC and a larger university that is not prestigious and an easy admit. I have friends that teach at both- they say they teach the exact same class and material.

[Anonymous]

OP hid the lede. This a relationship question and she needs to face the fact that she allowed her DH to dictate a really important process that has now turned out poorly. And I do not mean that Towson is a bad choice (not at all) but that her kid had a lot of other options that may have been viable choices that her DH ruined because he falsely believed UMD was a sure thing - despite the fact that *everyone knows* it is not.

OP this is your come to Jesus moment to make sure your DH does not wreck anything else in your life or your kids’ lives. You need to get a spine and also start seeing if there are any other options like a gap year or transferring. You also need to face up to the truth with your kid that you guys f’ed this up and promise to help him, whether that is a transfer plan or making the most out of Towson.

[Anonymous]

Start at Towson, get great grades and exercise leadership. If he likes it, stay. If not, transfer application is a great option.

[Anonymous]

I apologize if it's not completely relevant, as I'm not going to read through the insane number of posts, but ---

Did you consider Saint Mary's College of Maryland? It's a state college, but has the look, feel, and faculty of a top national liberal arts college. And a beautiful setting, literally on the water. Offers an amazing education, and its graduates to on to truly great grad and professional schools. I don't know why its acceptance rate is as high as it is, but it's such an excellent resource for Maryland families. If you're very interested, ny gueaa is it might still be possible to apply late for a spot as a freshman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:he can totally transfer into Maryland. Process is around the corner, starting in the fall, so just look at the application and plan for it.

totally

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maryland has few choices? What? There’s a college every five minutes here. Good grief, people are full of it.

It's true. Virginia has UVA, William and Mary, and VTech that are seen as non-embarrassing options. Maryland only has UMDCP.

That’s not true outside of the DCUM privileged bubble. I can’t imagine being embarrassed for kids who happily go to Towson, UMBC, or any of the others. PP, your world view is rigid and I can’t imagine having such a narrow definition of success or value. It would suck.

I'm being 100% serious and not trying to offend you when I say I think this is just a class difference. UMC parents would be embarrassed and don't see either of those schools as acceptable.

Then they really need to get a grip. Objectively speaking, they are out of touch.

There is no objective standard for what is acceptable. There are circles where escaping high school without joining a gang is the dream for parents, there are circles where going to community college (on it's own, not for the sake of transferring) is something special, there are circles where getting into Towson is perfectly fine, and there are circles where having a child not get into a T20 is met with commiseration and sympathy. Each is "out of touch" with the others, and that is okay, because they are in touch with themselves. OP's feelings are valid, depending on her circle.

I mean all feelings are valid but that doesn’t make OP’s values any less f’ed up. I have relatives who were acting like it was the end of the world when one of their kids was going to have to go to a SUNY. like serious dramatics and whispers about “Oh so and so are under so much stress - things are really tough at their house right now with Larlo.” I thought it was like drug addiction or mental illness … turns out is was that they were freaking out that he was possibly headed for a SUNY. (In the end he’s going to a needlessly expensive private college but I guess 1/2 mil down the drain is better than a state college.)

money and prestige really mess up perspective. No your kid going to Towson is not the same as your kid joining a gang. wtf.

+100 There was a serious nut job on this thread earlier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP hid the lede. This a relationship question and she needs to face the fact that she allowed her DH to dictate a really important process that has now turned out poorly. And I do not mean that Towson is a bad choice (not at all) but that her kid had a lot of other options that may have been viable choices that her DH ruined because he falsely believed UMD was a sure thing - despite the fact that *everyone knows* it is not.

OP this is your come to Jesus moment to make sure your DH does not wreck anything else in your life or your kids’ lives. You need to get a spine and also start seeing if there are any other options like a gap year or transferring. You also need to face up to the truth with your kid that you guys f’ed this up and promise to help him, whether that is a transfer plan or making the most out of Towson.

- forgot to add: and divorce DH !

[Anonymous]

Towson has interesting interdisciplinary programs like BAs in American Civilization & Law, Social Sciences, and a minor in Business, Communications & Liberal Arts.

It's too bad that instead of this thread being an intelligent discussion of Towson, (which Towson deserves on a college forum) it's mostly just trolls and some classist sneering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He could just take a gap year and earn some money if finances are an issue.

Towson is like $30K per year.
Most oos are like $50K to $60K per year.

He'd have to make like $80K in that one year to cover the shortfall. What job could an 18 yr old with no degree and experience get that makes $80K in one year?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your kid is a very capable student, so he may very well go to grad school. Performing at the top of his class at Towson positions him well to get into the best graduate schools, which are worth far more than where one went to undergrad.

Regardless of whether or not he goes to grad school or not, he will be in a position to be a big fish (academically) in a small pond, and there are a lot of good things to be said about that.

If your kid is happy you should roll with this. Is he an honors student or taking elevated classes? Focus on positioning him to succeed as best as he can, and explore opportunities at Towson. Think big picture: 4 years from now, he could be in an awesome position having done very well in college (which is not guaranteed when you're swimming with almost entirely other big fish).

I went to a similar VA state school and the boys who were the smartest, most capable, stand outs had a great time, were big men on campus, and went on to do well in life.

Relax and get some perspective. Your son is in a position to have a great experience while those girls may have a better one, or, may get lost among other very bright kids or at parties at UVA or Williams or U Penn or whatever.

+1 I understand OP's point, however, being a big fish in a little pond can have a lot of advantages.

I know someone who went to a university like Towson, low ranked, a university people on here would scoff at. This person had a 1520 SAT score and got shut out of UMD.

But, they were a big fish in a little pond, and they had some great research opportunities and internships there. They are probably going to a highly ranked program for grad school.

That said, I would also not be happy if DC's only choice was Towson, and even DC doesn't want that. So, we have looked at oos including private that is known to give out good merit aid. Some of these privates are not that far from MD. I used to think private univ was way too expensive for us, but I learned from this forum and researching that some of the lower ranked privates give out good merit aid. It won't bring it down to $30K, but maybe $40k to $45K, which IMO, is not that unreasonable.

Perhaps if you can convince your DH that private with merit should be an option, your DC could take a gap year and apply for these colleges next year. Your DC's stats are pretty good for I'd say T75 and below with merit.