It's been 10 years since our oldest graduated from high school. The most successful are

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every single person I knew at Brown. who married before 30, is divorced.

I went to Brown. I'm sure you had a more eclectic circle of friends. Most people I knew married between 27-33ish and almost all of them are still together. the divorce rates for the upper middle classes is fairly low.

Brown kids are marrying even younger now. It's hip and trendy to marry after college. Hookup culture and using dating apps into your mid and late 20s is cringe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is so surreal and f'd up and full of crazy posters, its like watching a Beckett play.

Tiger moms and travel sports crazies don't want to hear it. They all think they can helicopter and scheme their average intelligence unambitious kids into greatness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is so surreal and f'd up and full of crazy posters, its like watching a Beckett play.

Yes. I love it. Absolutely adore the College forum crazies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is so surreal and f'd up and full of crazy posters, its like watching a Beckett play.

Tiger moms and travel sports crazies don't want to hear it. They all think they can helicopter and scheme their average intelligence unambitious kids into greatness.

In this case the crazies are the anti-athlete posters like you, but thanks for adding to the general entertainment! 👍

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Correct. Ambitious kids become ambitious adults.

+1
Wow! This sounds like ground breaking rocket science! I wonder how OP came up with such unique insight that no one ever could have predicted.

This forum and others like it and also travel sports forums are full of parents who think prestige colleges are going to change their kids' lives. It is delusional. Your teen either has "it" or they don't by the time they leave your nest. You put a kid ambitious and smart enough for UVA, Duke or Penn into some regional degree mill and they will graduate with a 4.0 GPA and have their pick of jobs and grad schools.

Omg. The UVA boosting never ends. UVA and Duke and Penn? Okay. 🤣🤣

...which of these is not like the other...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The most successful young adults who are now 27 or 28 years old were the top students in their high school class, no matter where they went to undergrad. From Ivies to tiny liberal arts college to fairly regional public universities, they all zoomed through undergrad, sometimes in three years, many went to grad or professional school, and they all have great careers. It seems all of them are married.

The handful of middle of the pack students and student-athletes who surprised everyone when they got into elite T20s regressed to their mean and have totally normal careers, at best.

It seems smart ambitious highly-motivated teens become smart ambitious highly-motivated adults. And if your teen is not those things, Tiger Mom'ing them into an elite college probably isn't going to change anything about their life and professional trajectory.

All of them are married at 27? Do you live in the deep south or Pakistan?

lol
So true. The OP is a backwards provincial mom stuck on this board with grown and flown children….
Hmmm. What does that tell you.

The upper classes all over the US actually do marry in their mid to late 20s, statistically. It the middle and UMC that marry in their early to mid 30s. The LC marry young and multiple times.

Ummm. Try again. And this tells us you are an immigrant.

DP. My son’s roommate went to a top law school, and through him my son became friends with a bunch of his classmates. This year they all graduated, and the summer and fall it’s a wedding after a wedding. The guys are 26-28, mostly white US born, they’ve been with their girlfriends for a couple of years.

I agree. Most of our new highers in top 5 corporate company in the world have MS degrees and are married in their laye 20s. We get most of then from large State schools or the global equivalents, some Ivy schools (not many).

Do you mean new hires? LOL at highers

Talk to text isn't perfect. You still typing on your phone?

[Anonymous]

This is all hindsight bias. A kid gets into a top college and then doesn't do anything impressive, and people like OP say "oh yeah, we always knew they were middling, I don't know how they even got in there." Another kid gets into a good state school, does well, and is very successful, and people like OK say, "yes, they were always brilliant, it was obvious from the start." In reality these two students had the same grades and similar application profiles, but other factors (college fit, mental health, family support, general disposition, luck, choice of career, etc.) gave the different trajectories.

I have watched many people go the route of top high school student/academically ambitious, and attend a broad range of colleges, and wind up with a broad range of outcomes. And my main takeaway is that the most important thing is love your kid and be ready to support them whatever happens, because life is not predictable and you can't control most things, but you can control that.

[Anonymous]

I see different anecdotal evidence, but I agree, you can’t tiger mom your way into a super successful kid.

I’ve see a few significant factions-

Top of the class kids who become ambitious, successful adults.

Top of the class kids who failed out of college or life, because they have little ambition or executive functioning skills/ability to direct their lives. They succeeded in high school where they had to follow directions & test well, & that is what they are good at.

Average kids who become very successful adults - they matured.

Below average kids who became very successful adults - because they did not fit the rigid boxes of high school, but they were able to flourish in the real world.

High school is a total construct that does not provide much training for the real world. You are rewarded for following the rules & excelling at standardized tests. It’s a good training ground for the majority of the workforce, which is what we’re going for as a society. But it doesn’t tell you much about who will rise to the very successful (groundbreaking/inventive) level.

[Anonymous]

Elon Musk was a B student.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is so surreal and f'd up and full of crazy posters, its like watching a Beckett play.

Only worthwhile comment in this whole thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the fact that the op's "sample"of people are all married in their late 20s makes for a very narrow group she is referring to. Maybe 10 people tops.

Marriage trends among wealthy and/or smart kids are changing. Sophia Ritchie was 24 when she got married last year.

1 person does not equal a trend

You're in denial. Either you're projecting because you waited so long to marry or worried about your unmarried adult kids.

Nope. I married at 27 and my kids are teens/too young to marry. I just think it’s stupid to say something is a trend and cite “evidence” of 1 famous person who did it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The most successful young adults who are now 27 or 28 years old were the top students in their high school class, no matter where they went to undergrad. From Ivies to tiny liberal arts college to fairly regional public universities, they all zoomed through undergrad, sometimes in three years, many went to grad or professional school, and they all have great careers. It seems all of them are married.

The handful of middle of the pack students and student-athletes who surprised everyone when they got into elite T20s regressed to their mean and have totally normal careers, at best.

It seems smart ambitious highly-motivated teens become smart ambitious highly-motivated adults. And if your teen is not those things, Tiger Mom'ing them into an elite college probably isn't going to change anything about their life and professional trajectory.

All of them are married at 27? Do you live in the deep south or Pakistan?

lol
So true. The OP is a backwards provincial mom stuck on this board with grown and flown children….
Hmmm. What does that tell you.

The upper classes all over the US actually do marry in their mid to late 20s, statistically. It the middle and UMC that marry in their early to mid 30s. The LC marry young and multiple times.

Ummm. Try again. And this tells us you are an immigrant.

DP. My son’s roommate went to a top law school, and through him my son became friends with a bunch of his classmates. This year they all graduated, and the summer and fall it’s a wedding after a wedding. The guys are 26-28, mostly white US born, they’ve been with their girlfriends for a couple of years.

I agree. Most of our new highers in top 5 corporate company in the world have MS degrees and are married in their laye 20s. We get most of then from large State schools or the global equivalents, some Ivy schools (not many).

Do you mean new hires? LOL at highers

Talk to text isn't perfect. You still typing on your phone?

I love imagining ppl sitting there dictating their DCUM posts to their phone 😂

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the fact that the op's "sample"of people are all married in their late 20s makes for a very narrow group she is referring to. Maybe 10 people tops.

Marriage trends among wealthy and/or smart kids are changing. Sophia Ritchie was 24 when she got married last year.

1 person does not equal a trend

You're in denial. Either you're projecting because you waited so long to marry or worried about your unmarried adult kids.

Nope. I married at 27 and my kids are teens/too young to marry. I just think it’s stupid to say something is a trend and cite “evidence” of 1 famous person who did it.

+1. Oh by all means if Sofia Ritchie did it, everyone else must be doing it!

/s

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the fact that the op's "sample"of people are all married in their late 20s makes for a very narrow group she is referring to. Maybe 10 people tops.

Marriage trends among wealthy and/or smart kids are changing. Sophia Ritchie was 24 when she got married last year.

1 person does not equal a trend

You're in denial. Either you're projecting because you waited so long to marry or worried about your unmarried adult kids.

Nope. I married at 27 and my kids are teens/too young to marry. I just think it’s stupid to say something is a trend and cite “evidence” of 1 famous person who did it.

You are out of touch or in denial. Millie Bobby Brown, age 20, just married last month. It’s become cool to marry young.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see different anecdotal evidence, but I agree, you can’t tiger mom your way into a super successful kid.

I’ve see a few significant factions-

Top of the class kids who become ambitious, successful adults.

Top of the class kids who failed out of college or life, because they have little ambition or executive functioning skills/ability to direct their lives. They succeeded in high school where they had to follow directions & test well, & that is what they are good at.

Average kids who become very successful adults - they matured.

Below average kids who became very successful adults - because they did not fit the rigid boxes of high school, but they were able to flourish in the real world.

High school is a total construct that does not provide much training for the real world. You are rewarded for following the rules & excelling at standardized tests. It’s a good training ground for the majority of the workforce, which is what we’re going for as a society. But it doesn’t tell you much about who will rise to the very successful (groundbreaking/inventive) level.

Best and most rational post in this ridiculous thread.