Do you use trackers with your college kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I truly cannot believe the BS excuses for all of this tracking!
It's unhealthy and insane. My kids and my husband deserve privacy. I deserve privacy. We owe it to our kids to let them be independent adults ON THEIR OWN.

LOL, the righteousness. Google and Apple both know where you are, all the time.

You are rationalizing the fact that you’re tracking your adult children!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of the problem here is framing.

“Tracking my young adult child” sounds a lot worse than “Young adult child opted to share location.”

The bottom one is spinning it. What does that even mean - “opted to share.”

Perhaps they’re so used to being tracked that they themselves are worried about not being tracked!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I truly cannot believe the BS excuses for all of this tracking!
It's unhealthy and insane. My kids and my husband deserve privacy. I deserve privacy. We owe it to our kids to let them be independent adults ON THEIR OWN.

LOL, the righteousness. Google and Apple both know where you are, all the time.

Thinking the same! Google, Apple, all the random apps on your phone all know your every move. They know your patterns and where you go on a regular basis. And you’re worried about my son knowing where I ate lunch? LMAO

These issues aren't related at all. Google doesn't track me if I'm 5 minutes late for a phone call. You can keep making excuses for what you think is appropriate when it's not. It's bizarre. And even worse that you keep defending it.

Yeah, and I don’t track my Mom when she is 5 minutes late for a phone call either. In fact, I rarely check it and really don’t ever do anything with the info.

Yet, Google keeps meticulous records on every place you have been, every person you email and every website you visit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of the problem here is framing.

“Tracking my young adult child” sounds a lot worse than “Young adult child opted to share location.”

The bottom one is spinning it. What does that even mean - “opted to share.”

Perhaps they’re so used to being tracked that they themselves are worried about not being tracked!

Have you ever met a teenager?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I truly cannot believe the BS excuses for all of this tracking!
It's unhealthy and insane. My kids and my husband deserve privacy. I deserve privacy. We owe it to our kids to let them be independent adults ON THEIR OWN.

LOL, the righteousness. Google and Apple both know where you are, all the time.

Thinking the same! Google, Apple, all the random apps on your phone all know your every move. They know your patterns and where you go on a regular basis. And you’re worried about my son knowing where I ate lunch? LMAO

These issues aren't related at all. Google doesn't track me if I'm 5 minutes late for a phone call. You can keep making excuses for what you think is appropriate when it's not. It's bizarre. And even worse that you keep defending it.

Yeah, and I don’t track my Mom when she is 5 minutes late for a phone call either. In fact, I rarely check it and really don’t ever do anything with the info.

Yet, Google keeps meticulous records on every place you have been, every person you email and every website you visit.

Yes - it's called the internet. It is not the same in any way whatsoever. If you track your kids, you're controlling and anxious. THat is it. Just admit it for gosh sakes. It inhibits growth and provides a false sense of security.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid goes to school in LA and there are weekly police advisories of incidents. Par for the course for a major city and I usually don’t pay any attention to the small ones. When there’s an ongoing incident though, I check on find my to see where my kid is relative to the incidents. If they went to college in the middle of cowtown USA, I’d probably never use the feature. Context matters.

See this is the type of thing that feels like an invasion of privacy.

How is it an invasion of privacy when my college kid says 'I'm giving you access on findmy so you can see where I'm at' and 'I like that you can check on me sometimes' ??

Do you all not text each other? That’s how we check in. “Hey, how’ve you been? What are you up to?”

The idea that parents need to know their adult kid’s exact location - is a new desire and now people have become so used to it, they are uncomfortable forgoing it.

Truly do not get why this bugs you. It's such a non-thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of the problem here is framing.

“Tracking my young adult child” sounds a lot worse than “Young adult child opted to share location.”

The bottom one is spinning it. What does that even mean - “opted to share.”

Perhaps they’re so used to being tracked that they themselves are worried about not being tracked!

Have you ever met a teenager?

I have two. But I know..teenagers don’t usually want to be tracked, which is why PP’s claim that their kid “opted to share” their location made me raise my eyebrow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. I never want it to cross my children’s mind that mom may be watching or can go back and find something out. They may not be hiding something per se but are experiencing something they just want to keep private. What’s wrong with privacy??

+1

They can turn it off if they don't want to share location with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it is funny that some people respond that they don’t use trackers but use “find my phone”.

I also folks think that asking their 16 year old where they are going is controlling.

Everything in moderation folks.

I think it’s funny too. I had no idea people did not understand Find My Phone is tracking another person.

Probably most of these people saying they don’t track are tracking without thinking they are…

OP

There is a disconnect here. Probably OP trying to legitimate her behavior. Having find my phone isn't tracking if you are not using it. Many here said they had it, and might use it or have used it in emergency or unique situations. That is not the same as tracking someone. But, nice try, OP and friends (or just OP repeat posting).

Clearly people are using the term both ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids share their location with everyone on Snapchat. They simply don't care if parents know their location.

I think this is another one of many generational differences. People who think it is creepy are probably old (or up to no good, lol).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Based on the responses on this thread those families with open, communicative relationships with their kids use these tools and It Is No Biggie Whatsoever because the lines of communication are wide open in the family.

Those families with very closed, cut off, non- communicative relationships with their kids can only think of findmy or other tracker as a surreptitious unhealthy stalking tool.

Not true. I have a college aged DC that I don’t track at all but they call me and text daily and I know who their friends are and what they have planned for the day. No need to track at all. One thing is to track on a long distance drive but to do it daily and then say “why were you out at a club instead of the library” seems a bit much. That is where it becomes stalker material and not letting a young adult grow up to make their own mistakes. As for the mom of the 31 year old, when does it stop? At 31, some of here were already married with possibly a child. Just seems like you need to let go at some point.

DP: has anyone said they are doing this: "to do it daily and then say “why were you out at a club instead of the library” seems a bit much." I don't think so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of the problem here is framing.

“Tracking my young adult child” sounds a lot worse than “Young adult child opted to share location.”

The bottom one is spinning it. What does that even mean - “opted to share.”

Perhaps they’re so used to being tracked that they themselves are worried about not being tracked!

PP. It means my kid added me on the Find My app.

This whole convo is weird, bc no one — literally no one — can “track” an adult against their will. But that adult can choose to share their location.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I truly cannot believe the BS excuses for all of this tracking!
It's unhealthy and insane. My kids and my husband deserve privacy. I deserve privacy. We owe it to our kids to let them be independent adults ON THEIR OWN.

LOL, the righteousness. Google and Apple both know where you are, all the time.

You are rationalizing the fact that you’re tracking your adult children!

And You are literally losing it over something that has no consequence to you. It is a technology that my family chooses as a Form Of Communication
But you’re a boomer and have no clue what Im saying. Amiright??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid goes to school in LA and there are weekly police advisories of incidents. Par for the course for a major city and I usually don’t pay any attention to the small ones. When there’s an ongoing incident though, I check on find my to see where my kid is relative to the incidents. If they went to college in the middle of cowtown USA, I’d probably never use the feature. Context matters.

Why? What do you intend to do with this information?

Why are you the one getting campus alerts from 3,000 miles away?

If there’s an armed robbery at the In and Out Burger two blocks from your adult daughter’s residence…. you do what, exactly, when your location tracker tells you your daughter is two blocks away? Have a reassuring conversation? Tell her to shut her blinds and stay away from windows?

Trying to understand how tracking your adult relatives using TWO surveillance domains is in fact helpful

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of the problem here is framing.

“Tracking my young adult child” sounds a lot worse than “Young adult child opted to share location.”

I think the point that many of us are making is that your adult child shouldn’t want to do that if they matured properly.

They also may not “mind” if you search for jobs for them or did their laundry. That also doesn’t make it healthy.