Reply to So, Whose Husband Has Done Absolutely Nothing for Valentine’s Day?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We are late 40s, 2 kids, been together 25 years. I made him a cute basket full of some foodie-type things - it’s technically for the whole family but geared more toward him, and he ordered some special dessert treats we will all enjoy.

I have learned over the 25 years of up and down that it’s really important to voice expectations around these kinds of things. If I tell him something is important, and vice versa, we will remember and respond accordingly. But expecting someone to read minds is really not good for relationships.

We had a really bad downward spiral in our marriage when our kids were really young and we did counseling and completely reinvented our marriage and it made such a difference for a couple years, but then we kind of got back into old patterns and in the last year or so I have really tried to up my game and he has responded. He knows I want to be a little bit more affectionate and romantic and we’ve stepped it up a bit. We are trying to have sex more, which is so tough with two teens in a small house. But we try! And do more overnight date nights, recognize birthdays in a big way, etc.

[b]My main point is communicate about these things and see happens. [/b]My advice to OP is to give him the chocolates! Honestly, if you model  behavior he will likely pick things up.[/quote]

I think this is good advice for marriage but not for dating. [/quote]

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