BIL doesn’t even bring his nieces and nephews gifts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nobody owes your children anything! Nobody. They are YOUR children!

? it's not about "owing" but about being thoughtful. When you go to a child's birthday party, you bring something, even if it's just a card.

[Anonymous]

Who cares??? It’s about the celebration!
I don’t remember who gave what gifts to me as a kid on my birthdays. I remember the fun. Now my young adult kids remember the same thing.
Only gifts they may remember are things we the parents gave because they were from wish lists that we requested not handed out to there line a gift grab.

[Anonymous]

I think children's gifts are the easiest and most fun to buy. It takes very little time to purchase a gift, especially if you do it online, and pop it into a gift bag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nobody owes your children anything! Nobody. They are YOUR children!

? it's not about "owing" but about being thoughtful. When you go to a child's birthday party, you bring something, even if it's just a card.

Oh, so now cards are totally fine? Doesnt have to be filled with a supes thoughtful gas station gift card? So you won't call someone a cheapskate if they bring your kid a card but not a gift? Make up your mind

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would he bring them gifts? He made it there. They would appreciate that if you didn’t make it about your expectations. But I guess if you want to pass down your judgment and anger when people are offering love, you do that. I would personally view it as a huge parenting fail. But hey, the kids didn’t get an extra piece of plastic, so you should make sure to ruin their familial relationships.

+1
I wonder why OP hates her BIL. I mean besides his single, rich, child free life. Her kids are just going to grow up seeing Mom jealous and bitter towards their uncle.

[Anonymous]

OMG is this the BIL who you use for childcare but then don't otherwise do things with?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nobody owes your children anything! Nobody. They are YOUR children!

? it's not about "owing" but about being thoughtful. When you go to a child's birthday party, you bring something, even if it's just a card.

Oh, so now cards are totally fine? Doesnt have to be filled with a supes thoughtful gas station gift card? So you won't call someone a cheapskate if they bring your kid a card but not a gift? Make up your mind

there are multiple people posting that the BIL should have brought something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This reminds me of my brother. He showed up to my son’s first birthday without a gift. We didn’t care one way or the other but my mom would not let it go LOL. He loves our kids, he was just clueless about social expectations.

? Does he not realize that children want birthday presents? You don't have to be a kid person to know that. I have a friend who is not a kid person, but she would bring something, even if it's a gift card. sheesh.

If it was an adult child, then I sure, no presents necessary. But c'mon, children want presents, and if the adult has a lot of money but doesn't buy their niece/nephew a present when attending that child's birthday party, it shows the person is clueless and self absorbed, and the he came not because of the child, but for another reason.

You think a one-year old wants a birthday present? You think they'll notice if they don't get one from uncle Joe?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG is this the BIL who you use for childcare but then don't otherwise do things with?

Yikes! I must have missed that thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nobody owes your children anything! Nobody. They are YOUR children!

? it's not about "owing" but about being thoughtful. When you go to a child's birthday party, you bring something, even if it's just a card.

Oh, so now cards are totally fine? Doesnt have to be filled with a supes thoughtful gas station gift card? So you won't call someone a cheapskate if they bring your kid a card but not a gift? Make up your mind

there are multiple people posting that the BIL should have brought something.

Yeah, just clarifying if this card (aka no gift) is fine, because it seems many parents abide by the pay to play policy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This reminds me of my brother. He showed up to my son’s first birthday without a gift. We didn’t care one way or the other but my mom would not let it go LOL. He loves our kids, he was just clueless about social expectations.

? Does he not realize that children want birthday presents? You don't have to be a kid person to know that. I have a friend who is not a kid person, but she would bring something, even if it's a gift card. sheesh.

If it was an adult child, then I sure, no presents necessary. But c'mon, children want presents, and if the adult has a lot of money but doesn't buy their niece/nephew a present when attending that child's birthday party, it shows the person is clueless and self absorbed, and the he came not because of the child, but for another reason.

You think a one-year old wants a birthday present? You think they'll notice if they don't get one from uncle Joe?

The child is 7, not 1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nobody owes your children anything! Nobody. They are YOUR children!

? it's not about "owing" but about being thoughtful. When you go to a child's birthday party, you bring something, even if it's just a card.

Oh, so now cards are totally fine? Doesnt have to be filled with a supes thoughtful gas station gift card? So you won't call someone a cheapskate if they bring your kid a card but not a gift? Make up your mind

there are multiple people posting that the BIL should have brought something.

Yeah, just clarifying if this card (aka no gift) is fine, because it seems many parents abide by the pay to play policy.

sad that's how you read it. It's about thoughtfulness, not "pay to play". I'm sure if no one brought a present for your kid at their party your kid would feel bummed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This reminds me of my brother. He showed up to my son’s first birthday without a gift. We didn’t care one way or the other but my mom would not let it go LOL. He loves our kids, he was just clueless about social expectations.

? Does he not realize that children want birthday presents? You don't have to be a kid person to know that. I have a friend who is not a kid person, but she would bring something, even if it's a gift card. sheesh.

If it was an adult child, then I sure, no presents necessary. But c'mon, children want presents, and if the adult has a lot of money but doesn't buy their niece/nephew a present when attending that child's birthday party, it shows the person is clueless and self absorbed, and the he came not because of the child, but for another reason.

You think a one-year old wants a birthday present? You think they'll notice if they don't get one from uncle Joe?

The kid is SEVEN.

I guarantee that 7 year olds notice when their family members don’t give them a birthday present.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nobody owes your children anything! Nobody. They are YOUR children!

? it's not about "owing" but about being thoughtful. When you go to a child's birthday party, you bring something, even if it's just a card.

Oh, so now cards are totally fine? Doesnt have to be filled with a supes thoughtful gas station gift card? So you won't call someone a cheapskate if they bring your kid a card but not a gift? Make up your mind

there are multiple people posting that the BIL should have brought something.

Yeah, just clarifying if this card (aka no gift) is fine, because it seems many parents abide by the pay to play policy.

sad that's how you read it. It's about thoughtfulness, not "pay to play". I'm sure if no one brought a present for your kid at their party your kid would feel bummed.

Thoughtfulness like showing up, taking time out of your day, to attend the party? Why don't you give a shit about that?

No, I would not care if someone didnt bring a gift to my childs birthday party. I'd much rather my kids spend time and build memories with their family. I dont give a crap if they dont bring gifts (I probably prefer it honestly). I'd rather teach my children that quality time means more than materialistic landfill plastic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nobody owes your children anything! Nobody. They are YOUR children!

? it's not about "owing" but about being thoughtful. When you go to a child's birthday party, you bring something, even if it's just a card.

Oh, so now cards are totally fine? Doesnt have to be filled with a supes thoughtful gas station gift card? So you won't call someone a cheapskate if they bring your kid a card but not a gift? Make up your mind

there are multiple people posting that the BIL should have brought something.

Yeah, just clarifying if this card (aka no gift) is fine, because it seems many parents abide by the pay to play policy.

sad that's how you read it. It's about thoughtfulness, not "pay to play". I'm sure if no one brought a present for your kid at their party your kid would feel bummed.

Thoughtfulness like showing up, taking time out of your day, to attend the party? Why don't you give a shit about that?

No, I would not care if someone didnt bring a gift to my childs birthday party. I'd much rather my kids spend time and build memories with their family. I dont give a crap if they dont bring gifts (I probably prefer it honestly). I'd rather teach my children that quality time means more than materialistic landfill plastic.

Yes, you keep saying that.