Do you judge men who are wealthy and well educated but choose to marry fitness influencer/dancer/yoga instructor

[Anonymous]

Have you ever met a yoga instructor? Mine have all been interesting and wise people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Which came first: the fitness instructor or the housewife?

I find that it's usually the latter. The usual trajectory is that the woman stops working a professional job after getting the bag and then becomes a yoga/fitness/Pilates instructor or life coach. Maybe she was doing it casually before, but now she has the time and wealth to focus solely on her body and "building a brand."

Way better for the rich husband, since he's not dumping any commingled funds into a money-losing business.

She usually has to go through a "photographer" phase first though!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Which came first: the fitness instructor or the housewife?

I find that it's usually the latter. The usual trajectory is that the woman stops working a professional job after getting the bag and then becomes a yoga/fitness/Pilates instructor or life coach. Maybe she was doing it casually before, but now she has the time and wealth to focus solely on her body and "building a brand."

Way better for the rich husband, since he's not dumping any commingled funds into a money-losing business.

My buddy is an oral surgeon and his wife hit this trajectory pretty neatly. She was a social worker when he met her. He finished school and got a job making good money. They had kids and she stopped working to take care of them. When the kids got to school age, she got super into yoga; then turned it into a side gig as an instructor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The 28 YO I dated was a mechanical engineer. She was hot and smart.

Loooks go a long way for sure. She could have been a hair dresser for all I care . She treated me well, was sexy and fun to be around. She was a nice person.

The person I’m seeing now is 8-9 years younger than me and works at PWC. Once again, former athlete in college, thicc not thick, works out every day, likes sex, super sweet to me and she’s hot. Once again, she could be a cashier at Home Depot and I could care less it’s the other qualities she has. It’s nice she has money and has bought me dinner a couple of times - and I appreciate that -but she also wouldn’t have to and I’d still be attracted to her a lot.

Frankly I’m not used to being treated so well as I’ve been dating and married . I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do honestly as I’ve never been treated so nicely before except by the last two women I’ve dated or am dating. Usually women are bitter, angry, ghost you, sleeping with four guys at once…etc. so I thought that’s what it was going to be like so I did the same thing, was sleeping with a few women at once. It’s weird finding someone who is actually a good person and the last two changed my view

Why didn’t it work with the 28 year old hot chick?

Honestly so many of these posts from men just absolutely scream “I haven’t done the work and don’t understand my contribution to my failed relationships.” Get therapy dude.

I love it when women come back and scream “you haven’t done the work” as a way to absolve themselves of their bad behavior and not take accountability for their actions. It didn’t work out with the 28-year-old because life goals change for people as they get older. We’re still friends and still talk, unfortunately it wouldn’t work out long-term. I understand what it takes to be a relationship, unfortunately, a lot of women don’t and all they do is take from you which is why I’m not used to being treated so nicely when it does happen.

Did you have any intention of marrying her or having kids with her? Men have this delusion when they date much younger women that these women will continue to want to play house and be the Tinker Bell to his Peter Pan. They think these women don’t want to or will get over their desire to get married and have kids. The reality check is that most women do want to get married and have their own kids.

You are very naive in the way you view life.

There are TWO people in a relationship. If the women wants to date to get married - fine. If the man wants to date to be in a relationship - fine. If the two don't see eye to eye then the relationship will end. I'm the guy in the early 40s who's dated a lot of younger ladies. NONE of my relationships ended poorly. And none of the ladies I dated talked about getting married.

Not everyone thinks like you and the problem with women like you is you're too damn focused on MARRIAGE. You realize you have to get to know someone very very very well before you should get married. You can't get to know someone WITHOUT DATING THEM for a loooong time. Take it from someone who is divorced. I made the huge mistake of marrying my ex and she turned out to be NOTHING like what she presented herself to be. So, I have the RIGHT to date anyone I want for as long as I want. It's a two way street. If my girlfriend doesn't think we're on the same page we break up.

The fact that you think its horrible that men date to be in a relationship FIRST before thinking about marriage is laughable.

[Anonymous]

I don't, but my DH does. He values 1) Hot 2) Smart 3) Accomplished and thinks only checking the Hot box is underperforming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The 28 YO I dated was a mechanical engineer. She was hot and smart.

Loooks go a long way for sure. She could have been a hair dresser for all I care . She treated me well, was sexy and fun to be around. She was a nice person.

The person I’m seeing now is 8-9 years younger than me and works at PWC. Once again, former athlete in college, thicc not thick, works out every day, likes sex, super sweet to me and she’s hot. Once again, she could be a cashier at Home Depot and I could care less it’s the other qualities she has. It’s nice she has money and has bought me dinner a couple of times - and I appreciate that -but she also wouldn’t have to and I’d still be attracted to her a lot.

Frankly I’m not used to being treated so well as I’ve been dating and married . I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do honestly as I’ve never been treated so nicely before except by the last two women I’ve dated or am dating. Usually women are bitter, angry, ghost you, sleeping with four guys at once…etc. so I thought that’s what it was going to be like so I did the same thing, was sleeping with a few women at once. It’s weird finding someone who is actually a good person and the last two changed my view

Why didn’t it work with the 28 year old hot chick?

Honestly so many of these posts from men just absolutely scream “I haven’t done the work and don’t understand my contribution to my failed relationships.” Get therapy dude.

I love it when women come back and scream “you haven’t done the work” as a way to absolve themselves of their bad behavior and not take accountability for their actions. It didn’t work out with the 28-year-old because life goals change for people as they get older. We’re still friends and still talk, unfortunately it wouldn’t work out long-term. I understand what it takes to be a relationship, unfortunately, a lot of women don’t and all they do is take from you which is why I’m not used to being treated so nicely when it does happen.

Did you have any intention of marrying her or having kids with her? Men have this delusion when they date much younger women that these women will continue to want to play house and be the Tinker Bell to his Peter Pan. They think these women don’t want to or will get over their desire to get married and have kids. The reality check is that most women do want to get married and have their own kids.

You are very naive in the way you view life.

There are TWO people in a relationship. If the women wants to date to get married - fine. If the man wants to date to be in a relationship - fine. If the two don't see eye to eye then the relationship will end. I'm the guy in the early 40s who's dated a lot of younger ladies. NONE of my relationships ended poorly. And none of the ladies I dated talked about getting married.

Not everyone thinks like you and the problem with women like you is you're too damn focused on MARRIAGE. You realize you have to get to know someone very very very well before you should get married. You can't get to know someone WITHOUT DATING THEM for a loooong time. Take it from someone who is divorced. I made the huge mistake of marrying my ex and she turned out to be NOTHING like what she presented herself to be. So, I have the RIGHT to date anyone I want for as long as I want. It's a two way street. If my girlfriend doesn't think we're on the same page we break up.

The fact that you think its horrible that men date to be in a relationship FIRST before thinking about marriage is laughable.

You sound unhinged. Sorry your ex did a number on you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The 28 YO I dated was a mechanical engineer. She was hot and smart.

Loooks go a long way for sure. She could have been a hair dresser for all I care . She treated me well, was sexy and fun to be around. She was a nice person.

The person I’m seeing now is 8-9 years younger than me and works at PWC. Once again, former athlete in college, thicc not thick, works out every day, likes sex, super sweet to me and she’s hot. Once again, she could be a cashier at Home Depot and I could care less it’s the other qualities she has. It’s nice she has money and has bought me dinner a couple of times - and I appreciate that -but she also wouldn’t have to and I’d still be attracted to her a lot.

Frankly I’m not used to being treated so well as I’ve been dating and married . I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do honestly as I’ve never been treated so nicely before except by the last two women I’ve dated or am dating. Usually women are bitter, angry, ghost you, sleeping with four guys at once…etc. so I thought that’s what it was going to be like so I did the same thing, was sleeping with a few women at once. It’s weird finding someone who is actually a good person and the last two changed my view

Why didn’t it work with the 28 year old hot chick?

Honestly so many of these posts from men just absolutely scream “I haven’t done the work and don’t understand my contribution to my failed relationships.” Get therapy dude.

I love it when women come back and scream “you haven’t done the work” as a way to absolve themselves of their bad behavior and not take accountability for their actions. It didn’t work out with the 28-year-old because life goals change for people as they get older. We’re still friends and still talk, unfortunately it wouldn’t work out long-term. I understand what it takes to be a relationship, unfortunately, a lot of women don’t and all they do is take from you which is why I’m not used to being treated so nicely when it does happen.

Did you have any intention of marrying her or having kids with her? Men have this delusion when they date much younger women that these women will continue to want to play house and be the Tinker Bell to his Peter Pan. They think these women don’t want to or will get over their desire to get married and have kids. The reality check is that most women do want to get married and have their own kids.

You are very naive in the way you view life.

There are TWO people in a relationship. If the women wants to date to get married - fine. If the man wants to date to be in a relationship - fine. If the two don't see eye to eye then the relationship will end. I'm the guy in the early 40s who's dated a lot of younger ladies. NONE of my relationships ended poorly. And none of the ladies I dated talked about getting married.

Not everyone thinks like you and the problem with women like you is you're too damn focused on MARRIAGE. You realize you have to get to know someone very very very well before you should get married. You can't get to know someone WITHOUT DATING THEM for a loooong time. Take it from someone who is divorced. I made the huge mistake of marrying my ex and she turned out to be NOTHING like what she presented herself to be. So, I have the RIGHT to date anyone I want for as long as I want. It's a two way street. If my girlfriend doesn't think we're on the same page we break up.

The fact that you think it's horrible that men date to be in a relationship FIRST before thinking about marriage is laughable.

NP. The issue is that younger women often don't have the confidence to say what they want in the beginning stages of a relationship, so they are more vulnerable to getting strung along in a relationship without a future. I remember dating a very wealthy, attractive, never-married 40-something in my twenties thinking I won the jackpot and he just hadn't met someone like me yet (many years later, he's still dating 20-somethings). Women with more experience just read the room better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Which came first: the fitness instructor or the housewife?

I find that it's usually the latter. The usual trajectory is that the woman stops working a professional job after getting the bag and then becomes a yoga/fitness/Pilates instructor or life coach. Maybe she was doing it casually before, but now she has the time and wealth to focus solely on her body and "building a brand."

Way better for the rich husband, since he's not dumping any commingled funds into a money-losing business.

My buddy is an oral surgeon and his wife hit this trajectory pretty neatly. She was a social worker when he met her. He finished school and got a job making good money. They had kids and she stopped working to take care of them. When the kids got to school age, she got super into yoga; then turned it into a side gig as an instructor.

I mean... this sounds pretty decent and I know a few similar couples. I do not know many women who truly 'have it all' - a crazy successful career, nice personality, great looks including being in great shape, always present for their kids, etc. Very, very few.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Which came first: the fitness instructor or the housewife?

I find that it's usually the latter. The usual trajectory is that the woman stops working a professional job after getting the bag and then becomes a yoga/fitness/Pilates instructor or life coach. Maybe she was doing it casually before, but now she has the time and wealth to focus solely on her body and "building a brand."

Way better for the rich husband, since he's not dumping any commingled funds into a money-losing business.

My buddy is an oral surgeon and his wife hit this trajectory pretty neatly. She was a social worker when he met her. He finished school and got a job making good money. They had kids and she stopped working to take care of them. When the kids got to school age, she got super into yoga; then turned it into a side gig as an instructor.

I mean... this sounds pretty decent and I know a few similar couples. I do not know many women who truly 'have it all' - a crazy successful career, nice personality, great looks including being in great shape, always present for their kids, etc. Very, very few.

There's not enough time in the day to have all that. Even with outsourcing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Basically do you judge them for dating and marrying women because they have great bodies but would not have likely been in their social circle or have the same kind of educational background?

I do. I think, "Good on ya, bro. She's TIGHT. Enjoy banging the shit out of that!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Which came first: the fitness instructor or the housewife?

I find that it's usually the latter. The usual trajectory is that the woman stops working a professional job after getting the bag and then becomes a yoga/fitness/Pilates instructor or life coach. Maybe she was doing it casually before, but now she has the time and wealth to focus solely on her body and "building a brand."

Way better for the rich husband, since he's not dumping any commingled funds into a money-losing business.

My buddy is an oral surgeon and his wife hit this trajectory pretty neatly. She was a social worker when he met her. He finished school and got a job making good money. They had kids and she stopped working to take care of them. When the kids got to school age, she got super into yoga; then turned it into a side gig as an instructor.

I mean... this sounds pretty decent and I know a few similar couples. I do not know many women who truly 'have it all' - a crazy successful career, nice personality, great looks including being in great shape, always present for their kids, etc. Very, very few.

"crazy successful career" and "always present for their kids" are mutually exclusive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here's the issue:

Sure, let's assume that attractive moneyed men really would be totally satisfied by a "kind", attractive woman who is available for s*x. The men in my circles are not wholly satisfied by that list, but it gets repeated over and over on dcum by some male posters, so let's assume that's what 99% of men are looking for.

(I put "kind" in quotes, because let's be honest that when this kind of men say they want someone "kind" they don't actually just mean "nice". They want someone who kindly handles all the day to day crap without complaining. They don't mean a woman who is literally "kind").

So they find a woman who meets those needs, who is with a guy who places no value on any thing beyond the above three prongs. So what does that say about a woman who is attracted to the kind of man who places no value on anything but those three prongs? You can posit a ton of things about her, none of which are super great character features in a woman.

So now, we know we have a man who places no value on anything beyond three things (s*x, looks, "kindness"), and we have a flawed woman who is attracted to this kind of man. So circularly, what kind of man - who already only wants three assets in a woman - and also is happy being with the kind of flawed woman who wants to be with this kind of man?

Totally circular, and self feeding cycle - that neither are my kind of people. Sorry.

(But again, i said above, lots of driven, well educated, women who are yoga instructors. I think the scenario i'm describing is about women who are "only" yoga instructors and don't have the other stuff in their lives).

kindness should be changed to compliant.

[Anonymous]

Aren't the 3 prongs what the Stepford Wives were responsible for? I mean they were robots, but this was the premise that the ideal gal to marry was this type of person and that educated men should yearn for this as their status symbol.

[Anonymous]

I judge people who judge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Aren't the 3 prongs what the Stepford Wives were responsible for? I mean they were robots, but this was the premise that the ideal gal to marry was this type of person and that educated men should yearn for this as their status symbol.

I’m pretty sure that wasn’t supposed to be your take away.