Do you judge men who are wealthy and well educated but choose to marry fitness influencer/dancer/yoga instructor

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aren't the 3 prongs what the Stepford Wives were responsible for? I mean they were robots, but this was the premise that the ideal gal to marry was this type of person and that educated men should yearn for this as their status symbol.

I’m pretty sure that wasn’t supposed to be your take away.

Lol. + 100

[Anonymous]

What the heck is wrong with being a dancer? I was a dancer/actor in my 20s, and then at 29 went to law school. I was the same person before and after law school

Y’all seem to just want to judge

[Anonymous]

Many years ago I dated a beautiful fitness instructor who was very smart. She loved her life and wealth didn’t interest her. She was really into wellness and that’s the path she wanted to take. I took a job overseas so we broke up but if I hadn’t taken the job she might now be married to someone wealthy and well educated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Which came first: the fitness instructor or the housewife?

I find that it's usually the latter. The usual trajectory is that the woman stops working a professional job after getting the bag and then becomes a yoga/fitness/Pilates instructor or life coach. Maybe she was doing it casually before, but now she has the time and wealth to focus solely on her body and "building a brand."

Way better for the rich husband, since he's not dumping any commingled funds into a money-losing business.

My buddy is an oral surgeon and his wife hit this trajectory pretty neatly. She was a social worker when he met her. He finished school and got a job making good money. They had kids and she stopped working to take care of them. When the kids got to school age, she got super into yoga; then turned it into a side gig as an instructor.

I mean... this sounds pretty decent and I know a few similar couples. I do not know many women who truly 'have it all' - a crazy successful career, nice personality, great looks including being in great shape, always present for their kids, etc. Very, very few.

"crazy successful career" and "always present for their kids" are mutually exclusive.

Exactly... and maybe "always" is aggressive but regardless some women act like wealthy/successful/desirable men typically only want a successful career woman wife and that's just not true. Plenty of desirable men are delighted by a well educated wife who gives up a do-gooder career to take excellent care of their children followed by taking on a productive hobby or part time gig once they're in school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Which came first: the fitness instructor or the housewife?

I find that it's usually the latter. The usual trajectory is that the woman stops working a professional job after getting the bag and then becomes a yoga/fitness/Pilates instructor or life coach. Maybe she was doing it casually before, but now she has the time and wealth to focus solely on her body and "building a brand."

Way better for the rich husband, since he's not dumping any commingled funds into a money-losing business.

My buddy is an oral surgeon and his wife hit this trajectory pretty neatly. She was a social worker when he met her. He finished school and got a job making good money. They had kids and she stopped working to take care of them. When the kids got to school age, she got super into yoga; then turned it into a side gig as an instructor.

I mean... this sounds pretty decent and I know a few similar couples. I do not know many women who truly 'have it all' - a crazy successful career, nice personality, great looks including being in great shape, always present for their kids, etc. Very, very few.

"crazy successful career" and "always present for their kids" are mutually exclusive.

Exactly... and maybe "always" is aggressive but regardless some women act like wealthy/successful/desirable men typically only want a successful career woman wife and that's just not true. Plenty of desirable men are delighted by a well educated wife who gives up a do-gooder career to take excellent care of their children followed by taking on a productive hobby or part time gig once they're in school.

Also, men who want a woman with a "crazy successful career" who is "always present for their kids" are hard to please. My husband, who makes more than enough to support our household, holds me to this standard, and it's exhausting. I keep working because meeting his expectations is wearing me down and because I don't feel safe without a plan b.

[Anonymous]

Full-time yoga instructor here. 2 master's degrees. I speak 4 languages, 3 of them fluently. Yes, I am hot; always have been. I meet only wealthy men because I charge a lot. Yes, they want to date and/or marry me. I have no interest in that but I enjoy their company.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Full-time yoga instructor here. 2 master's degrees. I speak 4 languages, 3 of them fluently. Yes, I am hot; always have been. I meet only wealthy men because I charge a lot. Yes, they want to date and/or marry me. I have no interest in that but I enjoy their company.

Lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Full-time yoga instructor here. 2 master's degrees. I speak 4 languages, 3 of them fluently. Yes, I am hot; always have been. I meet only wealthy men because I charge a lot. Yes, they want to date and/or marry me. I have no interest in that but I enjoy their company.

Lol

Jealous fat dumped wife?

[Anonymous]

Maybe it is only here in the DC area but every yoga teacher I have met is a professional with advanced degree(s).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Which came first: the fitness instructor or the housewife?

I find that it's usually the latter. The usual trajectory is that the woman stops working a professional job after getting the bag and then becomes a yoga/fitness/Pilates instructor or life coach. Maybe she was doing it casually before, but now she has the time and wealth to focus solely on her body and "building a brand."

Way better for the rich husband, since he's not dumping any commingled funds into a money-losing business.

My buddy is an oral surgeon and his wife hit this trajectory pretty neatly. She was a social worker when he met her. He finished school and got a job making good money. They had kids and she stopped working to take care of them. When the kids got to school age, she got super into yoga; then turned it into a side gig as an instructor.

I mean... this sounds pretty decent and I know a few similar couples. I do not know many women who truly 'have it all' - a crazy successful career, nice personality, great looks including being in great shape, always present for their kids, etc. Very, very few.

This. I think what PP described sounds great

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here's the issue:

Sure, let's assume that attractive moneyed men really would be totally satisfied by a "kind", attractive woman who is available for s*x. The men in my circles are not wholly satisfied by that list, but it gets repeated over and over on dcum by some male posters, so let's assume that's what 99% of men are looking for.

(I put "kind" in quotes, because let's be honest that when this kind of men say they want someone "kind" they don't actually just mean "nice". They want someone who kindly handles all the day to day crap without complaining. They don't mean a woman who is literally "kind").

So they find a woman who meets those needs, who is with a guy who places no value on any thing beyond the above three prongs. So what does that say about a woman who is attracted to the kind of man who places no value on anything but those three prongs? You can posit a ton of things about her, none of which are super great character features in a woman.

So now, we know we have a man who places no value on anything beyond three things (s*x, looks, "kindness"), and we have a flawed woman who is attracted to this kind of man. So circularly, what kind of man - who already only wants three assets in a woman - and also is happy being with the kind of flawed woman who wants to be with this kind of man?

Totally circular, and self feeding cycle - that neither are my kind of people. Sorry.

(But again, i said above, lots of driven, well educated, women who are yoga instructors. I think the scenario i'm describing is about women who are "only" yoga instructors and don't have the other stuff in their lives).

So are you saying that men mating with women they are attracted to and those women being attracted to those men is a bad thing?

Maybe it is the circles I travel in, but directionally this is correct though not to the caricature extreme portrayed in this thread. The pair off is something like he’s very well credentialed (likely a graduate degree of some sort) and extremely economically successful in his field. She has a bachelors degree is well put together and stays home and runs a tight ship at home. Sure, I’m guessing many would accuse those women of being uninteresting or whatever, but, let’s get real. How many married couples with children in their forties are actually interesting?

I know about a dozen guys in my circle that are making seven figures and all but one fits the mold I described above. The outlier has a more educated wife and she’s earning 20% of what he makes. So is that really all that different from him marrying a yoga instructor or whatever?

Here’s the deal: the stay at home wife is a huge asset to a man’s career. I just think society has the causation reversed. It isn’t that moneyed, attractive men (whatever that means) desire a kind, attractive wife that will handle the day to day at home. It is that men that are married to kind wives that will handle the day to day at home are better positioned to be extremely successful in their career. I KNOW that’s been the case for me and a bunch of guys I know. I also posted in the divorce/asset split thread that the guy definitely owes his wife a 50/50 split for that reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many years ago I dated a beautiful fitness instructor who was very smart. She loved her life and wealth didn’t interest her. She was really into wellness and that’s the path she wanted to take. I took a job overseas so we broke up but if I hadn’t taken the job she might now be married to someone wealthy and well educated.

And on DCUM!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Basically do you judge them for dating and marrying women because they have great bodies but would not have likely been in their social circle or have the same kind of educational background?

I feel like you are focusing on bodies here, but the examples you give can often describe women who are themselves from privileged backgrounds.

Now if you had said, “trophy wife”….I know someone kind of ridiculous but wealthy, who married the prototypical stereotype of a hot Eastern European mail order bride, complete with trashy, revealing outfits that focus on her body…she sticks out like a sore thumb at all our reunions. I feel slightly sorry for him but hope they’re both happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Full-time yoga instructor here. 2 master's degrees. I speak 4 languages, 3 of them fluently. Yes, I am hot; always have been. I meet only wealthy men because I charge a lot. Yes, they want to date and/or marry me. I have no interest in that but I enjoy their company.

Lol

Jealous fat dumped wife?

Was the first comment not supposed to be funny? It definitely reads like satire.

[Anonymous]

Yes. They look stupid.