Why would a man get married in 2023?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marriage is only good if its between two people who are in love, are compatible, deeply care about each other and want to build a life together.

This is the main problem. Increasingly people of both sizes don't have this capability with anyone. They have no idea or interest in doing this

Sizes should be sexes. My feeling basically is that people do not have the skills or determination to make marriage work. They are too self absorbed and there is too much freedom in America which leads to dissatisfaction.

People have unhappy marriages in all sorts of cultural environments. Both of my grandmothers divorced with little kids back in the “good old days” that trad wives think existed.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry, but it’s pretty funny how a thread about men and marriage for them devolved into a self-absorbed whine fest for women and their views on marriage. It’s kind of proving the OPs point (which I disagree with, but alas!).

[Anonymous]

If I was a man in my 50’s and an empty nester I’d see no reason to get married. I have no interest in estate planning conflicts, prenups or anything else. I’d be more than happy to fund my and a partners lifestyle but that would be it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry, but it’s pretty funny how a thread about men and marriage for them devolved into a self-absorbed whine fest for women and their views on marriage. It’s kind of proving the OPs point (which I disagree with, but alas!).

It's because DCUM skews heavily toward bitter, entitled women. This is not representative of the wider world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a happily married man I will not encourage any man to be married. Just because I am happily married does not mean I am
Getting a * good deal* like women claim. They always bring up the same set of things that they do us. Here is the deal it’s just not true. Yes our mothers offered all those perks to our dads. Our wives are not. And I am glad they are not because we should be contributing equally to everything. But women today (and in a way I feel bad) are under immense pressure from society (or maybe feminists ) to seek their own happiness (which is good) and men as a result are under a microscope.

I did everything on that list every week except meals and those we ordered from a company. I also taught the kids and earned half the money. I don't understand what men want women to be these days. Women are doing most of the working in the US now and the childrearing. What exactly do men bring to the table comparatively if and I repeat if they aren't making more than the median income? The median income is about $150k around here I believe. What does a guy making say $100k bring to a marriage compared to a woman making the same?

This actually isn't true. Reputable studies show that in married couples, men do more work overall when taking into account work outside and inside the home. Look up the Pew studies on working. Women work more hours on average in the home, which is why it seems to women that they do more work--because they don't see the greater amount of work being done by men outside of the house. Of course, this is just averages, and I'm sure we'll get lots of anecdotal responses here from women who swear they do so much more than their husbands.

Post the study. Love to know the breakdown of office work, housework, kid work, personal time, sleep, sitting on a plane, eating.

I know what it’s in our two income hosuehold.

https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2013/03/14/chapter-6-time-in-work-and-leisure-patterns-by-gender-and-family-structure/

Your response is the anecdotal stuff I mentioned. I’m sure you perceive yourself as working more overall. Whether that’s true in your case is beside the point.

I think there is an implicit bias toward paid work. If you are at work, it gets counted as work no matter what you are doing. But time at home gets broken down in all of these little pieces.
How can a couple with children only be spending an average of 20 hours a week on childcare? There are 168 hours in a week. Even if they are in school and sports, that’s still a lot of hours.

So you say that when they are sleeping, it isn’t childcare. But if you hired someone, you would pay them for that time. On the other hand, I’m an intensivist…and if the ICU is quiet in the middle of the night, and I’m in my office sleeping, it still counts as paid work.

So you think the parents should count as childcare the hours the children are sleeping, even if the parents spend those hours watching Netflix or sleeping? Putting aside the absurdity of that position, that wouldn't skew the overall results because both parents could count those hours.

Either that, or don’t count the hours you are at work, but you are chatting with coworkers or watching Netflix.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry, but it’s pretty funny how a thread about men and marriage for them devolved into a self-absorbed whine fest for women and their views on marriage. It’s kind of proving the OPs point (which I disagree with, but alas!).

It's because DCUM skews heavily toward bitter, entitled women. This is not representative of the wider world.

Wanna bet?

[Anonymous]

Who thinks centuries of being dumped in makes someone bitter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who thinks centuries of being dumped in makes someone bitter?

You’ve been dumped for centuries?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who thinks centuries of being dumped in makes someone bitter?

You’ve been dumped for centuries?

actually the phrase the poster used was "dumped in[i][u] for centuries"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a happily married man I will not encourage any man to be married. Just because I am happily married does not mean I am
Getting a * good deal* like women claim. They always bring up the same set of things that they do us. Here is the deal it’s just not true. Yes our mothers offered all those perks to our dads. Our wives are not. And I am glad they are not because we should be contributing equally to everything. But women today (and in a way I feel bad) are under immense pressure from society (or maybe feminists ) to seek their own happiness (which is good) and men as a result are under a microscope.

I did everything on that list every week except meals and those we ordered from a company. I also taught the kids and earned half the money. I don't understand what men want women to be these days. Women are doing most of the working in the US now and the childrearing. What exactly do men bring to the table comparatively if and I repeat if they aren't making more than the median income? The median income is about $150k around here I believe. What does a guy making say $100k bring to a marriage compared to a woman making the same?

This actually isn't true. Reputable studies show that in married couples, men do more work overall when taking into account work outside and inside the home. Look up the Pew studies on working. Women work more hours on average in the home, which is why it seems to women that they do more work--because they don't see the greater amount of work being done by men outside of the house. Of course, this is just averages, and I'm sure we'll get lots of anecdotal responses here from women who swear they do so much more than their husbands.

Post the study. Love to know the breakdown of office work, housework, kid work, personal time, sleep, sitting on a plane, eating.

I know what it’s in our two income hosuehold.

https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2013/03/14/chapter-6-time-in-work-and-leisure-patterns-by-gender-and-family-structure/

Your response is the anecdotal stuff I mentioned. I’m sure you perceive yourself as working more overall. Whether that’s true in your case is beside the point.

I didn’t read this whole study, but at first glance, it does show men with children as having more leisure time than their wives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I was a man in my 50’s and an empty nester I’d see no reason to get married. I have no interest in estate planning conflicts, prenups or anything else. I’d be more than happy to fund my and a partners lifestyle but that would be it.

It would have to be the perfect woman

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a happily married man I will not encourage any man to be married. Just because I am happily married does not mean I am
Getting a * good deal* like women claim. They always bring up the same set of things that they do us. Here is the deal it’s just not true. Yes our mothers offered all those perks to our dads. Our wives are not. And I am glad they are not because we should be contributing equally to everything. But women today (and in a way I feel bad) are under immense pressure from society (or maybe feminists ) to seek their own happiness (which is good) and men as a result are under a microscope.

I did everything on that list every week except meals and those we ordered from a company. I also taught the kids and earned half the money. I don't understand what men want women to be these days. Women are doing most of the working in the US now and the childrearing. What exactly do men bring to the table comparatively if and I repeat if they aren't making more than the median income? The median income is about $150k around here I believe. What does a guy making say $100k bring to a marriage compared to a woman making the same?

This actually isn't true. Reputable studies show that in married couples, men do more work overall when taking into account work outside and inside the home. Look up the Pew studies on working. Women work more hours on average in the home, which is why it seems to women that they do more work--because they don't see the greater amount of work being done by men outside of the house. Of course, this is just averages, and I'm sure we'll get lots of anecdotal responses here from women who swear they do so much more than their husbands.

Post the study. Love to know the breakdown of office work, housework, kid work, personal time, sleep, sitting on a plane, eating.

I know what it’s in our two income hosuehold.

https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2013/03/14/chapter-6-time-in-work-and-leisure-patterns-by-gender-and-family-structure/

Your response is the anecdotal stuff I mentioned. I’m sure you perceive yourself as working more overall. Whether that’s true in your case is beside the point.

I didn’t read this whole study, but at first glance, it does show men with children as having more leisure time than their wives.

That's because "leisure time" is defined narrowly to certain categories of non-working activities. That doesn't mean that mean work less. You can see from the study that married men work slightly longer hours (at home and out of the home) overall, on average, than married women.

[Anonymous]

I would never marry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry, but it’s pretty funny how a thread about men and marriage for them devolved into a self-absorbed whine fest for women and their views on marriage. It’s kind of proving the OPs point (which I disagree with, but alas!).

It's because DCUM skews heavily toward bitter, entitled women. This is not representative of the wider world.

Wanna bet?

I only have my own experience, but neither my mom, sisters, nor my wife are/were bitter or entitled. In fact, a lot of my friends and neighbors don't see that way either, although I admit you never really know what's going on in neighbors' homes. But I just don't see the same sort of bitterness and entitlement that I see here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a happily married man I will not encourage any man to be married. Just because I am happily married does not mean I am
Getting a * good deal* like women claim. They always bring up the same set of things that they do us. Here is the deal it’s just not true. Yes our mothers offered all those perks to our dads. Our wives are not. And I am glad they are not because we should be contributing equally to everything. But women today (and in a way I feel bad) are under immense pressure from society (or maybe feminists ) to seek their own happiness (which is good) and men as a result are under a microscope.

I did everything on that list every week except meals and those we ordered from a company. I also taught the kids and earned half the money. I don't understand what men want women to be these days. Women are doing most of the working in the US now and the childrearing. What exactly do men bring to the table comparatively if and I repeat if they aren't making more than the median income? The median income is about $150k around here I believe. What does a guy making say $100k bring to a marriage compared to a woman making the same?

This actually isn't true. Reputable studies show that in married couples, men do more work overall when taking into account work outside and inside the home. Look up the Pew studies on working. Women work more hours on average in the home, which is why it seems to women that they do more work--because they don't see the greater amount of work being done by men outside of the house. Of course, this is just averages, and I'm sure we'll get lots of anecdotal responses here from women who swear they do so much more than their husbands.

Post the study. Love to know the breakdown of office work, housework, kid work, personal time, sleep, sitting on a plane, eating.

I know what it’s in our two income hosuehold.

https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2013/03/14/chapter-6-time-in-work-and-leisure-patterns-by-gender-and-family-structure/

Your response is the anecdotal stuff I mentioned. I’m sure you perceive yourself as working more overall. Whether that’s true in your case is beside the point.

I didn’t read this whole study, but at first glance, it does show men with children as having more leisure time than their wives.

That's because "leisure time" is defined narrowly to certain categories of non-working activities. That doesn't mean that mean work less. You can see from the study that married men work slightly longer hours (at home and out of the home) overall, on average, than married women.

I thought it was just because women need more sleep than men do on average.