How do people afford it?

[Anonymous]

I’m really confused by this notion that grandparents owe it to their grandkids to pay for private if they can? Am I missing something?

My parents are well off and paid for my college, helped with our first house, and contribute heavily to grandkids’ 529s. I feel like that’s a lot. I would *never* dare request that they help make private school happen on top of that, although I suppose they could technically. Are the people grumbling about stingy grandparents mad that they didn’t pay for private school specifically? Did they help in other ways?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m really confused by this notion that grandparents owe it to their grandkids to pay for private if they can? Am I missing something?

My parents are well off and paid for my college, helped with our first house, and contribute heavily to grandkids’ 529s. I feel like that’s a lot. I would *never* dare request that they help make private school happen on top of that, although I suppose they could technically. Are the people grumbling about stingy grandparents mad that they didn’t pay for private school specifically? Did they help in other ways?

My parents pay for our kids private school, our kids go to the same school their grandfather attended and they offered to help before the kids started preschool. We are civil servants and couldn’t afford private pm just our salaries but I imagine when we inherit money later in life we could also pay for our own grandchildren to attend private schools and college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our oldest and their spouse make the same as OP and sent their kid to public elementary school EOTP. After concluding reluctantly that the local middle and high schools weren’t viable options, they started playing the lottery and applying to privates. It was the last thing they wanted to do because they really didn’t want their kids going to school with a bunch of rich kids, plus they honestly didn’t want to put such a huge dent in their lifestyle. There are lots of things that can be done with kids with that kind of money that can benefit their growth just as much as private education.

Long story short, their kid got into several well known privates in DC but with virtually no financial aid. One very good school upped their offer to $10k in the end, but that still left a price tag of $40k plus and would only go up and they didn’t want to pay it. In the end, they sweated through the lottery and landed at a good option.

We have a lot more money than they do and we are very close with our grandkids. They never asked us to help and we never considered it. I think they knew we shared their philosophical revulsion at the idea of elite private schooling and also knew that we knew it was their choice entirely to live in the school district where they do.

I'm always mystified by the bolded above. That is, why would someone be revolted at the prospect of purchasing a significantly superior product for the most important people in their lives? By 'product' I am thinking specifically of the quality of instruction, the curriculum choices, the intensive writing instruction, perhaps the math lab or the choreographer of the spring musical, the very much smaller student-to-teacher ratios that permit many seminar-model upper level courses (think 10:1), individualized and extensive annotated feedback on the many writing assignments, and on and on. The education, in other words, not the lawn and fountains and glitzy fundraiser dinners and clay courts.

If I can afford a top-flight doctor for my children, clinically speaking, who takes an hour+ for each appointment, is it "revolting" if I chose her practice when I could also send my kid to the free county clinic for the same ailment? Should I wait 4 months for 8-minute appointment with a mid-level practitioner with half the education at this free county clinic, just so I can make a point? I mean, both practices are obligated to consider my kid's chronic GI issues, right?

Comparing a “top doctor“ to a better spring choreographer for the middle school musical is absolutely laughable. Your analogy is ridiculous.

I liked this analogy. Her point is the free option is not typically the better one.

Except that’s often not true when it comes to schools. There are many, many public schools that by most objective measures are “better” than many, many privates - including right here in the DMV. If you don’t count their middle school spring musical choreographers that is.

It's weird how you keep fixating on the sole example in my post that admittedly is not reading/writing/'rithmatic.

This thread isn't about "many, many" private schools. It's about the ones with the $40-$50k tuition. Of those, some are middling but most are not. I would be so very interested to learn which of the many, many public schools in the DMV regularly offer the instructional examples I gave. ? The answer is not any MoCo or DC public high schools. If you know of some FFX or Arlington high schools with 10:1 ratios or intensive writing assignments every week, I think we'd all like to know which ones they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m really confused by this notion that grandparents owe it to their grandkids to pay for private if they can? Am I missing something?

My parents are well off and paid for my college, helped with our first house, and contribute heavily to grandkids’ 529s. I feel like that’s a lot. I would *never* dare request that they help make private school happen on top of that, although I suppose they could technically. Are the people grumbling about stingy grandparents mad that they didn’t pay for private school specifically? Did they help in other ways?

My parents pay for our kids private school, our kids go to the same school their grandfather attended and they offered to help before the kids started preschool. We are civil servants and couldn’t afford private pm just our salaries but I imagine when we inherit money later in life we could also pay for our own grandchildren to attend private schools and college.

Oh, that’s lovely, truly. My reaction was more to the anger when grandparents didn’t do this (especially if they hadn’t done private for their own kids).

[Anonymous]

Where does financial aid come from?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a fed, DH works at a non-profit. We make 310 combined. 750k mortgage. No other debt. We want to send our two kids private, but at $40-50k a year per kid it doesn’t seem possible. Is there anyone in our situation that actually found a way to make this work?

When DS started in K we had a $500k mortgage and $250k HHI. It was one kid and we could do it. We did not qualify for FA. Private was around $35k.

Since then our HHI has grown (over $600k) but so has tuition (up to $50k).

I would not tap into home equity for private K-12 and not sure it would pay for their entire schooling x 2 kids plus your mortgage will be higher. If you have strong publics, I'd send them there and try to save as close to what you would've paid for private in a college fund for each of them. Then you won't have the pressure of *having* to pay that out if you hit a tight month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We make less than that and make it work. We simply prioritize education and cut expenses in other areas. No fancy Xmas ski vacations, no fancy cars, no cable TV, lower speed Internet, keep our cars for 20 years (and no leasing), live in an older house without fancy appliances, etc.

It is possible. It is all about priorities and choices.

This is what my parents did. TBH, it sucked being the “poor” kid.

[Anonymous]

If you are high net worth, why not give your kids the benefit of private schools as opposed to woke W schools? Or waste it on fancy cars and luxury handbags. Again, if you are really wealthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We make less than that and make it work. We simply prioritize education and cut expenses in other areas. No fancy Xmas ski vacations, no fancy cars, no cable TV, lower speed Internet, keep our cars for 20 years (and no leasing), live in an older house without fancy appliances, etc.

It is possible. It is all about priorities and choices.

This is what my parents did. TBH, it sucked being the “poor” kid.

And think about all the sacrifices your parents did for you… how ungrateful you are. They should have not cared and sent you to public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are high net worth, why not give your kids the benefit of private schools as opposed to woke W schools? Or waste it on fancy cars and luxury handbags. Again, if you are really wealthy.

Exactly. They might even learn not to say stupid things like “woke.”

[Anonymous]

Just adding I have "buyers remorse" for one kid in private commonly mentioned here in the $50-55K range. Chose it for the hope the small attention and class size would be good. We are disappointed in the value based on our income which is between $450-500K. We have another in public. Our hope is to move both to a cheaper private that is more in our range. We have no parent help. No generational wealth. They have extracurriculars. I support my parents financially. I think it's possible to get your kid a good private education but at a lesser "tier" option (at least I hope) and that's just what we need to do. I'm fine with an environment where my kids are safe and challenged. DCPS ain't it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just adding I have "buyers remorse" for one kid in private commonly mentioned here in the $50-55K range. Chose it for the hope the small attention and class size would be good. We are disappointed in the value based on our income which is between $450-500K. We have another in public. Our hope is to move both to a cheaper private that is more in our range. We have no parent help. No generational wealth. They have extracurriculars. I support my parents financially. I think it's possible to get your kid a good private education but at a lesser "tier" option (at least I hope) and that's just what we need to do. I'm fine with an environment where my kids are safe and challenged. DCPS ain't it.

Which school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We make less than that and make it work. We simply prioritize education and cut expenses in other areas. No fancy Xmas ski vacations, no fancy cars, no cable TV, lower speed Internet, keep our cars for 20 years (and no leasing), live in an older house without fancy appliances, etc.

It is possible. It is all about priorities and choices.

This is what my parents did. TBH, it sucked being the “poor” kid.

And think about all the sacrifices your parents did for you… how ungrateful you are. They should have not cared and sent you to public.

Because people who send their kids to public do not care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We make less than that and make it work. We simply prioritize education and cut expenses in other areas. No fancy Xmas ski vacations, no fancy cars, no cable TV, lower speed Internet, keep our cars for 20 years (and no leasing), live in an older house without fancy appliances, etc.

It is possible. It is all about priorities and choices.

This is what my parents did. TBH, it sucked being the “poor” kid.

And think about all the sacrifices your parents did for you… how ungrateful you are. They should have not cared and sent you to public.

Because people who send their kids to public do not care.

Unless they believe public to be the better option or they invest the same amount of money on their kids for other rlenriching activities, they clearly don’t.

If mom uses that money to get a boob job or if dad buys a new car every other year and send their kids to crappy public (FOR THEIR KIDS), yes, they clearly don’t value education.

If parents sacrifice everything (no cable or low speed internet for example), they clearly value private education and sacrifice A LOT for their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are high net worth, why not give your kids the benefit of private schools as opposed to woke W schools? Or waste it on fancy cars and luxury handbags. Again, if you are really wealthy.

Privates are also super woke …