Bode and Morgan Miller's Kids - bad luck

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I think they're just really bad parents. I forgot about this one just a year or two after their toddler drowned because they weren't paying attention to her.

https://www.etonline.com/bode-miller-and-wife-morgans-son-has-seizure-is-rushed-to-same-hospital-where-their-daughter-died

How is a child having a seizure the parent’s fault? I agree with you they aren’t good people, but this isn’t a good example.

They had a perfectly healthy daughter who died because she was unsupervised at a pool party and drowned. If she had a seizure while being resuscitated is not the point.

If they had paid for a babysitter that day or simply watched their kid, she would be alive.

It wasn’t even a pool party. It was a visit to a family - a playdate. How hard os it to watch your toddler??

I haven't liked them since the Sarh Mckenna thing either. However, it takes only 20 seconds for a 2-year old to drown. I watched my babies like a hawk around water, but when that happened, it felt like it could have been us and I mourned with them. I am sure she's not the only parent who's looked away for ~ 20 seconds. It was horrible.

They didn't look away, they were nowhere near the kid.

The toddler literally left the house. How does that happen on a playdate in someone else’s home?

You’re making it seem like the kid opened the door and walked 3 blocks away and fell in a pool. Morgan was in the kitchen and the child had been in the attached family/living room (I think articles said it was an open layout). The child opened a french door from the family room/living room and the pool was right there attached to the patio.

No idea where Bode was, but Morgan was provably less than 20’ from her daughter and didn’t see her open the door. I’m sure they didn’t except the backdoor to be unlocked but even if it was, they still didn’t expect their child to fall into a pool and drown.

How do you know this for sure?

If you go to a house with a pool, first you check yourself to make sure doors are locked and can’t be opened by kids before they are out of your sight. You sit near them on the play date, you don’t stay in the kitchen gabbing while your 19 month old wanders off in someone’s home unattended. I learned basic pool safety with kids when I was a teenager and babysat for a family that had a pool. The mom was neurotic about pool safety. One thing she did was always lock the back door that opened to the pool. It was a lock that was at the top of the door that only an adult could open. She always also made sure the pool gate was shut and latched. She would double check it as soon as kids arrived at her house.

Also, kids that young should never be out of your sight.

Agree, Morgan was sipping tea with her neighbor and did not have eyes on her the whole time. And it was probably several minutes, maybe 4 min, not 20 seconds that she did not have eyes on the toddler.

She was at a tea party?

Visiting next door neighbor. Having tea in kitchen. Not a party. Not an evening gathering. Just a playdate, had been there many times.

It was 630 in the evening when she drowned. Not sure why you keep trying to downplay this as a playdate. It’s never been reported as playdate. There was no wild party as was initially reported, but multiple people were at the neighbors house. https://people.com/parents/bode-miller-daughter-drowning-death-details/

Your links says only a couple of people were there.

"Contrary to rumors of a larger gathering, Concialdi says only “a couple of people” were at the neighbor’s house when Emeline wandered away, and “nobody was in the backyard” during the incident."

Is that supposed to be better? That makes it worse. There were only a few people so it wasn't chaotic. They should have known where she was at all times.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Accidental drowning is like the leading cause of death in kids under 2. I have literally nothing positive to say about the parents here, I honestly don't know much about them, but what I do know is that this type of accident can happen to anyone. It is like hot car deaths, where people like to pontificate about how it couldn't happen to them but the reality is that it can and it happens to good parents and bad parents all alike.

Anyone who is saying they literally ALWAYS had eyes on their child is fooling themselves. Most of us are fortunate in that those moments where kids slipped away didn't end in tragedy.

No it can’t. People who keep eyes on their kids at all times at other people’s houses, especially with pools, don’t have this happen to them. People like to say it can happen to anyone to make them feel better but it’s not true. In those cases mistakes were made. If you’re watching your child appropriately it can’t happen that they drown in a pool.

No one is saying mistakes didn't happen. But it CAN happen to anyone because no one is perfect. No one is infallible and everyone has near misses in their life. I have never had something like this happen and live in abject fear of it happening because I know it COULD happen.

It can certainly happen! I’m fact, it almost did years ago at my daughters Girl Scout party event. Troop leader House had a pool and invited all the girls and their families to an end of year summer party. Even hired 2 lifeguards (teenagers) to be there. Middle of day, parents chatting it up, kids in and out of pool and younger sibling there too. Everyone sort of mildly distracted m. Maybe life guards being there lowered the guard but one little sibling about 4, fell in deep in and NO ONE noticed! Another mom finally saw this and started a steaming, LIFEGUARD!! The two teens weren’t even looking! The dad jumped in and got her and though she was shaken up and coughing up water, she was okay. It happened so fast and also so silently. No one noticed anything and the parents were all there.

You’ve just proven my point. They weren’t watching the kid properly. When you watch your non swimmer properly, this doesn’t happen.

I don’t know, I feel like you’re very quick to judge. Not every parent is holding their children’s hands every single minute of the pool party or shadowing their every move. You could turn to our food on a plate or grab a juice box out of the cooler or think your DH is watching her. Accidents happen.

No, see, "thinking your husband is watching" is exactly why this would never happen to some people. SOME people would never delegate that duty. This kind of personality is often derided as "neurotic" or "no chill" and their sister makes fun of them and urges her to "loosen up sometimes, jeez."

But there are definitely some people who would keep a 19-month old in their direct line of sight AND an arm's length away -- for hours if necessary.

See also, crowded children's museums. Great Wolf Lodge. The airport. SOME people actually "never look away." This is in fact humanly possible. Exhausting ... but possible, yes.

+1 and this is exactly me. I never assumed anyone was watching my child, including my husband. I would verbally tell him to watch our kid if I wasn’t able to, especially at someone else’s house. My parents and siblings definitely thought I was too much of a helicopter when the kids were young.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Accidental drowning is like the leading cause of death in kids under 2. I have literally nothing positive to say about the parents here, I honestly don't know much about them, but what I do know is that this type of accident can happen to anyone. It is like hot car deaths, where people like to pontificate about how it couldn't happen to them but the reality is that it can and it happens to good parents and bad parents all alike.

Anyone who is saying they literally ALWAYS had eyes on their child is fooling themselves. Most of us are fortunate in that those moments where kids slipped away didn't end in tragedy.

No it can’t. People who keep eyes on their kids at all times at other people’s houses, especially with pools, don’t have this happen to them. People like to say it can happen to anyone to make them feel better but it’s not true. In those cases mistakes were made. If you’re watching your child appropriately it can’t happen that they drown in a pool.

You are wrong. I study drowning for a living. Kids have drowned when their parents were using the bathroom.

The key (proven in other countries) is to require four sided (aka isolation) fencing, with a self closing self latching gate around backyard pools.

Legislators are at fault for not requiring this proven measure, to prevent the leading cause of death for toddlers in America.

They deserve protection Regardless of how informed, mature, sober or responsible their caretakers are.

If parents are using the bathroom, who is watching the kids? No one. Toddler gets out in their crib while I use the restroom. Unless I delegate another adult to watch the toddler.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Accidental drowning is like the leading cause of death in kids under 2. I have literally nothing positive to say about the parents here, I honestly don't know much about them, but what I do know is that this type of accident can happen to anyone. It is like hot car deaths, where people like to pontificate about how it couldn't happen to them but the reality is that it can and it happens to good parents and bad parents all alike.

Anyone who is saying they literally ALWAYS had eyes on their child is fooling themselves. Most of us are fortunate in that those moments where kids slipped away didn't end in tragedy.

No it can’t. People who keep eyes on their kids at all times at other people’s houses, especially with pools, don’t have this happen to them. People like to say it can happen to anyone to make them feel better but it’s not true. In those cases mistakes were made. If you’re watching your child appropriately it can’t happen that they drown in a pool.

You are wrong. I study drowning for a living. Kids have drowned when their parents were using the bathroom.

The key (proven in other countries) is to require four sided (aka isolation) fencing, with a self closing self latching gate around backyard pools.

Legislators are at fault for not requiring this proven measure, to prevent the leading cause of death for toddlers in America.

They deserve protection Regardless of how informed, mature, sober or responsible their caretakers are.

My daughter nearly drowned at age 3 because my husband and I didn’t hear her. We are not neglectful or abusive. We were at a garden party and my daughter just slipped into the pool. Thank goodness my husband noticed she was missing. I am terrified of drowning: it’s silent and it’s fast.

How was she missing if you were closely watching her? We generally didn’t go to parties with our toddlers, especially if there was a pool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Accidental drowning is like the leading cause of death in kids under 2. I have literally nothing positive to say about the parents here, I honestly don't know much about them, but what I do know is that this type of accident can happen to anyone. It is like hot car deaths, where people like to pontificate about how it couldn't happen to them but the reality is that it can and it happens to good parents and bad parents all alike.

Anyone who is saying they literally ALWAYS had eyes on their child is fooling themselves. Most of us are fortunate in that those moments where kids slipped away didn't end in tragedy.

No it can’t. People who keep eyes on their kids at all times at other people’s houses, especially with pools, don’t have this happen to them. People like to say it can happen to anyone to make them feel better but it’s not true. In those cases mistakes were made. If you’re watching your child appropriately it can’t happen that they drown in a pool.

You are wrong. I study drowning for a living. Kids have drowned when their parents were using the bathroom.

The key (proven in other countries) is to require four sided (aka isolation) fencing, with a self closing self latching gate around backyard pools.

Legislators are at fault for not requiring this proven measure, to prevent the leading cause of death for toddlers in America.

They deserve protection Regardless of how informed, mature, sober or responsible their caretakers are.

If parents are using the bathroom, who is watching the kids? No one. Toddler gets out in their crib while I use the restroom. Unless I delegate another adult to watch the toddler.

I meant to say the toddler would get put in their crib if I needed to go to the bathroom and I was alone in the house with them.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Accidental drowning is like the leading cause of death in kids under 2. I have literally nothing positive to say about the parents here, I honestly don't know much about them, but what I do know is that this type of accident can happen to anyone. It is like hot car deaths, where people like to pontificate about how it couldn't happen to them but the reality is that it can and it happens to good parents and bad parents all alike.

Anyone who is saying they literally ALWAYS had eyes on their child is fooling themselves. Most of us are fortunate in that those moments where kids slipped away didn't end in tragedy.

No it can’t. People who keep eyes on their kids at all times at other people’s houses, especially with pools, don’t have this happen to them. People like to say it can happen to anyone to make them feel better but it’s not true. In those cases mistakes were made. If you’re watching your child appropriately it can’t happen that they drown in a pool.

You are wrong. I study drowning for a living. Kids have drowned when their parents were using the bathroom.

The key (proven in other countries) is to require four sided (aka isolation) fencing, with a self closing self latching gate around backyard pools.

Legislators are at fault for not requiring this proven measure, to prevent the leading cause of death for toddlers in America.

They deserve protection Regardless of how informed, mature, sober or responsible their caretakers are.

My daughter nearly drowned at age 3 because my husband and I didn’t hear her. We are not neglectful or abusive. We were at a garden party and my daughter just slipped into the pool. Thank goodness my husband noticed she was missing. I am terrified of drowning: it’s silent and it’s fast.

How was she missing if you were closely watching her? We generally didn’t go to parties with our toddlers, especially if there was a pool.

Congratulations you win

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Accidental drowning is like the leading cause of death in kids under 2. I have literally nothing positive to say about the parents here, I honestly don't know much about them, but what I do know is that this type of accident can happen to anyone. It is like hot car deaths, where people like to pontificate about how it couldn't happen to them but the reality is that it can and it happens to good parents and bad parents all alike.

Anyone who is saying they literally ALWAYS had eyes on their child is fooling themselves. Most of us are fortunate in that those moments where kids slipped away didn't end in tragedy.

No it can’t. People who keep eyes on their kids at all times at other people’s houses, especially with pools, don’t have this happen to them. People like to say it can happen to anyone to make them feel better but it’s not true. In those cases mistakes were made. If you’re watching your child appropriately it can’t happen that they drown in a pool.

You are wrong. I study drowning for a living. Kids have drowned when their parents were using the bathroom.

The key (proven in other countries) is to require four sided (aka isolation) fencing, with a self closing self latching gate around backyard pools.

Legislators are at fault for not requiring this proven measure, to prevent the leading cause of death for toddlers in America.

They deserve protection Regardless of how informed, mature, sober or responsible their caretakers are.

We have this isolation fencing with a self-latching gate but you wouldn't believe how many times I have to remind people, including the gardening crew and pool cleaner, NOT to prop open the gate. Soon we will be getting a pool cover as an additional layer of protection.

[Anonymous]

We have a pool and host a lot. There have been a few occasions where I felt the parents weren’t watching their little ones as well as they should, though I completely understand it - they are having fun, enjoying adult conversation, etc. It can happen in a split second.

I never have a drop of alcohol when we host. I feel a huge responsibility for our guests and watch the pool the entire time or, for larger parties, I hire a lifeguard.

I’m actually surprised the homeowner allowed a toddler free reign of her home. I would absolutely want to know where that toddler was at all times if it was my house.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Accidental drowning is like the leading cause of death in kids under 2. I have literally nothing positive to say about the parents here, I honestly don't know much about them, but what I do know is that this type of accident can happen to anyone. It is like hot car deaths, where people like to pontificate about how it couldn't happen to them but the reality is that it can and it happens to good parents and bad parents all alike.

Anyone who is saying they literally ALWAYS had eyes on their child is fooling themselves. Most of us are fortunate in that those moments where kids slipped away didn't end in tragedy.

No it can’t. People who keep eyes on their kids at all times at other people’s houses, especially with pools, don’t have this happen to them. People like to say it can happen to anyone to make them feel better but it’s not true. In those cases mistakes were made. If you’re watching your child appropriately it can’t happen that they drown in a pool.

No one is saying mistakes didn't happen. But it CAN happen to anyone because no one is perfect. No one is infallible and everyone has near misses in their life. I have never had something like this happen and live in abject fear of it happening because I know it COULD happen.

It can certainly happen! I’m fact, it almost did years ago at my daughters Girl Scout party event. Troop leader House had a pool and invited all the girls and their families to an end of year summer party. Even hired 2 lifeguards (teenagers) to be there. Middle of day, parents chatting it up, kids in and out of pool and younger sibling there too. Everyone sort of mildly distracted m. Maybe life guards being there lowered the guard but one little sibling about 4, fell in deep in and NO ONE noticed! Another mom finally saw this and started a steaming, LIFEGUARD!! The two teens weren’t even looking! The dad jumped in and got her and though she was shaken up and coughing up water, she was okay. It happened so fast and also so silently. No one noticed anything and the parents were all there.

+1. Drowning happens silently and fast. We have a gated pool and I have only had one pool party with a lifeguard and high school seniors. I would never judge a parent that lost their kid to drowning in a pool.

I mean it’s super smart of you to have a liefgurard but I can’t imagine going to a pool party as a senior with a lifeguard. Times have changed!

We have a very deep pool (used to have a diving board). You never know who really is water safe and who might be embarrassed to admit they are not. Parents are extremely litigious now. The kids enjoyed chatting with lifeguard, who was a really cool water woman that did these jobs as a side gig.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Accidental drowning is like the leading cause of death in kids under 2. I have literally nothing positive to say about the parents here, I honestly don't know much about them, but what I do know is that this type of accident can happen to anyone. It is like hot car deaths, where people like to pontificate about how it couldn't happen to them but the reality is that it can and it happens to good parents and bad parents all alike.

Anyone who is saying they literally ALWAYS had eyes on their child is fooling themselves. Most of us are fortunate in that those moments where kids slipped away didn't end in tragedy.

No it can’t. People who keep eyes on their kids at all times at other people’s houses, especially with pools, don’t have this happen to them. People like to say it can happen to anyone to make them feel better but it’s not true. In those cases mistakes were made. If you’re watching your child appropriately it can’t happen that they drown in a pool.

You are wrong. I study drowning for a living. Kids have drowned when their parents were using the bathroom.

The key (proven in other countries) is to require four sided (aka isolation) fencing, with a self closing self latching gate around backyard pools.

Legislators are at fault for not requiring this proven measure, to prevent the leading cause of death for toddlers in America.

They deserve protection Regardless of how informed, mature, sober or responsible their caretakers are.

We have this isolation fencing with a self-latching gate but you wouldn't believe how many times I have to remind people, including the gardening crew and pool cleaner, NOT to prop open the gate. Soon we will be getting a pool cover as an additional layer of protection.

You will absolutely love the pool cover! In addition to keeping out leaves/animals and maintaining the pool temp, it is a huge comfort to me as a parent of young kids who has a pool. Ours is automatic - it opens and closes with the touch of a button - and is made to withstand 400 lbs (not that I want to test it). Had this homeowner had a pool cover on, their daughter would still be here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Accidental drowning is like the leading cause of death in kids under 2. I have literally nothing positive to say about the parents here, I honestly don't know much about them, but what I do know is that this type of accident can happen to anyone. It is like hot car deaths, where people like to pontificate about how it couldn't happen to them but the reality is that it can and it happens to good parents and bad parents all alike.

Anyone who is saying they literally ALWAYS had eyes on their child is fooling themselves. Most of us are fortunate in that those moments where kids slipped away didn't end in tragedy.

No it can’t. People who keep eyes on their kids at all times at other people’s houses, especially with pools, don’t have this happen to them. People like to say it can happen to anyone to make them feel better but it’s not true. In those cases mistakes were made. If you’re watching your child appropriately it can’t happen that they drown in a pool.

You are wrong. I study drowning for a living. Kids have drowned when their parents were using the bathroom.

The key (proven in other countries) is to require four sided (aka isolation) fencing, with a self closing self latching gate around backyard pools.

Legislators are at fault for not requiring this proven measure, to prevent the leading cause of death for toddlers in America.

They deserve protection Regardless of how informed, mature, sober or responsible their caretakers are.

My daughter nearly drowned at age 3 because my husband and I didn’t hear her. We are not neglectful or abusive. We were at a garden party and my daughter just slipped into the pool. Thank goodness my husband noticed she was missing. I am terrified of drowning: it’s silent and it’s fast.

How was she missing if you were closely watching her? We generally didn’t go to parties with our toddlers, especially if there was a pool.

Congratulations you win

NP here and not sure why the snark, but I did exactly the same when my dc were that age. Where I lived then (CT) most pools are not fenced or covered. Where I live now (FL) most pools are caged in, but many older homes do not have the enclosure fence (which is code now I think). I had to constantly lock my ex-inlaws door because they always left it open, even when the toddler grandchildren came over...we didn't spend much time there due to this issue.

To the pp's getting a cover-those are good but make sure no kids can get 'under' the cover. Ask the installer. Kids have gotten under and drowned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Accidental drowning is like the leading cause of death in kids under 2. I have literally nothing positive to say about the parents here, I honestly don't know much about them, but what I do know is that this type of accident can happen to anyone. It is like hot car deaths, where people like to pontificate about how it couldn't happen to them but the reality is that it can and it happens to good parents and bad parents all alike.

Anyone who is saying they literally ALWAYS had eyes on their child is fooling themselves. Most of us are fortunate in that those moments where kids slipped away didn't end in tragedy.

No it can’t. People who keep eyes on their kids at all times at other people’s houses, especially with pools, don’t have this happen to them. People like to say it can happen to anyone to make them feel better but it’s not true. In those cases mistakes were made. If you’re watching your child appropriately it can’t happen that they drown in a pool.

You are wrong. I study drowning for a living. Kids have drowned when their parents were using the bathroom.

The key (proven in other countries) is to require four sided (aka isolation) fencing, with a self closing self latching gate around backyard pools.

Legislators are at fault for not requiring this proven measure, to prevent the leading cause of death for toddlers in America.

They deserve protection Regardless of how informed, mature, sober or responsible their caretakers are.

My daughter nearly drowned at age 3 because my husband and I didn’t hear her. We are not neglectful or abusive. We were at a garden party and my daughter just slipped into the pool. Thank goodness my husband noticed she was missing. I am terrified of drowning: it’s silent and it’s fast.

How was she missing if you were closely watching her? We generally didn’t go to parties with our toddlers, especially if there was a pool.

Congratulations you win

NP here and not sure why the snark, but I did exactly the same when my dc were that age. Where I lived then (CT) most pools are not fenced or covered. Where I live now (FL) most pools are caged in, but many older homes do not have the enclosure fence (which is code now I think). I had to constantly lock my ex-inlaws door because they always left it open, even when the toddler grandchildren came over...we didn't spend much time there due to this issue.

To the pp's getting a cover-those are good but make sure no kids can get 'under' the cover. Ask the installer. Kids have gotten under and drowned.

+1 yep. Basic pool safety 101. Some people get it and some don’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Accidental drowning is like the leading cause of death in kids under 2. I have literally nothing positive to say about the parents here, I honestly don't know much about them, but what I do know is that this type of accident can happen to anyone. It is like hot car deaths, where people like to pontificate about how it couldn't happen to them but the reality is that it can and it happens to good parents and bad parents all alike.

Anyone who is saying they literally ALWAYS had eyes on their child is fooling themselves. Most of us are fortunate in that those moments where kids slipped away didn't end in tragedy.

No it can’t. People who keep eyes on their kids at all times at other people’s houses, especially with pools, don’t have this happen to them. People like to say it can happen to anyone to make them feel better but it’s not true. In those cases mistakes were made. If you’re watching your child appropriately it can’t happen that they drown in a pool.

No one is saying mistakes didn't happen. But it CAN happen to anyone because no one is perfect. No one is infallible and everyone has near misses in their life. I have never had something like this happen and live in abject fear of it happening because I know it COULD happen.

It can certainly happen! I’m fact, it almost did years ago at my daughters Girl Scout party event. Troop leader House had a pool and invited all the girls and their families to an end of year summer party. Even hired 2 lifeguards (teenagers) to be there. Middle of day, parents chatting it up, kids in and out of pool and younger sibling there too. Everyone sort of mildly distracted m. Maybe life guards being there lowered the guard but one little sibling about 4, fell in deep in and NO ONE noticed! Another mom finally saw this and started a steaming, LIFEGUARD!! The two teens weren’t even looking! The dad jumped in and got her and though she was shaken up and coughing up water, she was okay. It happened so fast and also so silently. No one noticed anything and the parents were all there.

You’ve just proven my point. They weren’t watching the kid properly. When you watch your non swimmer properly, this doesn’t happen.

I don’t know, I feel like you’re very quick to judge. Not every parent is holding their children’s hands every single minute of the pool party or shadowing their every move. You could turn to our food on a plate or grab a juice box out of the cooler or think your DH is watching her. Accidents happen.

No, see, "thinking your husband is watching" is exactly why this would never happen to some people. SOME people would never delegate that duty. This kind of personality is often derided as "neurotic" or "no chill" and their sister makes fun of them and urges her to "loosen up sometimes, jeez."

But there are definitely some people who would keep a 19-month old in their direct line of sight AND an arm's length away -- for hours if necessary.

See also, crowded children's museums. Great Wolf Lodge. The airport. SOME people actually "never look away." This is in fact humanly possible. Exhausting ... but possible, yes.

So, just a hypothetical: What happens when your eyes are on your 19mo, then your 5yo shows up with blood and teeth missing because she fell out of the hammock while her other parent was using the bathroom?

Your eyes stay on the 19mo, of course.

Right?

I promise this could happen more easily than you think it can, but I hope nonetheless that it’s a lesson you never learn.

You pick up the 19 month old in your arms. Which is easy and quick because she’s arm’s length, right. Then You assess the 5 yr old while holding the toddler — even if she’s toddler squawking— and ask your hosti friend to make an ice pack for 5 yr old and get your go bag for you. Then you ask friend to walk you to your car with you and hold shit while you strap in two kids to car seats and head to urgent care.

If she has kid of her own to monitor because pool you do this by yourself. Which sucks, but then again, you did agree to accept the invitation to Pool Neighbors even though your husband Miller is out of town.

Next time, you may think twice as you recall how difficult that was when you can be man-to-man with your multiple kids.

[Anonymous]

*can’t be

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Accidental drowning is like the leading cause of death in kids under 2. I have literally nothing positive to say about the parents here, I honestly don't know much about them, but what I do know is that this type of accident can happen to anyone. It is like hot car deaths, where people like to pontificate about how it couldn't happen to them but the reality is that it can and it happens to good parents and bad parents all alike.

Anyone who is saying they literally ALWAYS had eyes on their child is fooling themselves. Most of us are fortunate in that those moments where kids slipped away didn't end in tragedy.

No it can’t. People who keep eyes on their kids at all times at other people’s houses, especially with pools, don’t have this happen to them. People like to say it can happen to anyone to make them feel better but it’s not true. In those cases mistakes were made. If you’re watching your child appropriately it can’t happen that they drown in a pool.

No one is saying mistakes didn't happen. But it CAN happen to anyone because no one is perfect. No one is infallible and everyone has near misses in their life. I have never had something like this happen and live in abject fear of it happening because I know it COULD happen.

It can certainly happen! I’m fact, it almost did years ago at my daughters Girl Scout party event. Troop leader House had a pool and invited all the girls and their families to an end of year summer party. Even hired 2 lifeguards (teenagers) to be there. Middle of day, parents chatting it up, kids in and out of pool and younger sibling there too. Everyone sort of mildly distracted m. Maybe life guards being there lowered the guard but one little sibling about 4, fell in deep in and NO ONE noticed! Another mom finally saw this and started a steaming, LIFEGUARD!! The two teens weren’t even looking! The dad jumped in and got her and though she was shaken up and coughing up water, she was okay. It happened so fast and also so silently. No one noticed anything and the parents were all there.

You’ve just proven my point. They weren’t watching the kid properly. When you watch your non swimmer properly, this doesn’t happen.

I don’t know, I feel like you’re very quick to judge. Not every parent is holding their children’s hands every single minute of the pool party or shadowing their every move. You could turn to our food on a plate or grab a juice box out of the cooler or think your DH is watching her. Accidents happen.

No, see, "thinking your husband is watching" is exactly why this would never happen to some people. SOME people would never delegate that duty. This kind of personality is often derided as "neurotic" or "no chill" and their sister makes fun of them and urges her to "loosen up sometimes, jeez."

But there are definitely some people who would keep a 19-month old in their direct line of sight AND an arm's length away -- for hours if necessary.

See also, crowded children's museums. Great Wolf Lodge. The airport. SOME people actually "never look away." This is in fact humanly possible. Exhausting ... but possible, yes.

So, just a hypothetical: What happens when your eyes are on your 19mo, then your 5yo shows up with blood and teeth missing because she fell out of the hammock while her other parent was using the bathroom?

Your eyes stay on the 19mo, of course.

Right?

I promise this could happen more easily than you think it can, but I hope nonetheless that it’s a lesson you never learn.

You pick up the 19 month old in your arms. Which is easy and quick because she’s arm’s length, right. Then You assess the 5 yr old while holding the toddler — even if she’s toddler squawking— and ask your hosti friend to make an ice pack for 5 yr old and get your go bag for you. Then you ask friend to walk you to your car with you and hold shit while you strap in two kids to car seats and head to urgent care.

If she has kid of her own to monitor because pool you do this by yourself. Which sucks, but then again, you did agree to accept the invitation to Pool Neighbors even though your husband Miller is out of town.

Next time, you may think twice as you recall how difficult that was when you can be man-to-man with your multiple kids.

+1 Damn! That’s right! Well done.