Roomie wants to discuss decorating?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t read the full thread. Just came on to say we did this 30 years ago. I neither roommate or I came from wealthy families.

Same...and lots of comments like this earlier show that it is the norm.

I'm going to guess that the people asking didn't go to colleges or didn't live in dorms if they did. Or they have forgotten huge portions of their life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. My kid’s school (the students on the campus environmental committee) has requested that students bring as little as possible and also to forgo the use of foam toppers.

Has your kid slept on the mattresses yet?
I am also opposed to waste, but those mattresses are terrible. Cut the headboard but keep the topper. Also, you can reuse the toppers or pass them along to younger sib or friend. At one of my kids’ schools someone collected used toppers and made them into dog beds for shelters. I thought that was brilliant. My kids kept them in their apartments and sometimes when a friend slept over they used it as a mattress on the floor and covered it with a blanket.

+1 We got a topper when #1 went to college, he used it for 1 year and brought it home when he moved off campus. DD has used it as a pad on the floor when friends sleep over and now it will go to her dorm. She's going to a 4-year residential college so will get plenty of use out of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whoosh. My DD roommate has contacted her. Seems nice enough, but I gather she is fairly well off and wants to 'decorate' and 'coordinate' the dorm room.

The most recent question was "what type of headboard should we get for the bed?" Huh? I sent my daughter some samples of pillows she could put on the bed, but said a "headboard" seemed a little too much.

Is this a thing now? I hardly had anything when I went. Couldn't afford such things. It's a state school, so there will surely be kids who don't have funds to do this.

I just don't want my DD to start off on the wrong foot with this young lady. I am not a decorator type nor do I particularly enjoy it. Will just be getting comfortable bedding - sheets and some posters. Also not interested in buying a bunch of junk that will wind up in a land-fill. Trying to think of a nice way for DD to tell the other gal that she has to stay in budget, etc etc etc.

DD is working for the summer out of state and not really able to address these "decorating" questions too.

Crazy

"I'm not really into decorating, but I'm flexible. You've got an eye for this, so appreciate you planning our room. I have $X budget. Show me what you recommend, and I'll tell you if I can get it. I'm excited to meet you! "

Leave the door open for the rich roomate to pay for your decor.

[Anonymous]

You bitties suck the joy out of everything. There is nothing wrong with wanting to have a put together space. If it makes someone feel more at home why are you judging. Some people manage their anxiety by having projects, this could be one of those situations. It also gives these two strangers an excuse to talk and get to know each other without direct questions.

[Anonymous]

OP, how did you learn about the roommate’s request?Are you still reading and managing the emails the schools sends to DD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You bitties suck the joy out of everything. There is nothing wrong with wanting to have a put together space. If it makes someone feel more at home why are you judging. Some people manage their anxiety by having projects, this could be one of those situations. It also gives these two strangers an excuse to talk and get to know each other without direct questions.

You're embarrassing yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whoosh. My DD roommate has contacted her. Seems nice enough, but I gather she is fairly well off and wants to 'decorate' and 'coordinate' the dorm room.

The most recent question was "what type of headboard should we get for the bed?" Huh? I sent my daughter some samples of pillows she could put on the bed, but said a "headboard" seemed a little too much.

Is this a thing now? I hardly had anything when I went. Couldn't afford such things. It's a state school, so there will surely be kids who don't have funds to do this.

I just don't want my DD to start off on the wrong foot with this young lady. I am not a decorator type nor do I particularly enjoy it. Will just be getting comfortable bedding - sheets and some posters. Also not interested in buying a bunch of junk that will wind up in a land-fill. Trying to think of a nice way for DD to tell the other gal that she has to stay in budget, etc etc etc.

DD is working for the summer out of state and not really able to address these "decorating" questions too.

Crazy

I don't think anyone has addressed the bolded. What, precisely, is the difficulty for your daughter? Why is it to hard for her to address these questions?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t read the full thread. Just came on to say we did this 30 years ago. I neither roommate or I came from wealthy families.

Same...and lots of comments like this earlier show that it is the norm.

I'm going to guess that the people asking didn't go to colleges or didn't live in dorms if they did. Or they have forgotten huge portions of their life.

Went to college 40 years ago on scholarship need based. Never did this with any roommates nor did friends. Back then, the equivalent of $500 to blow on dorm decorations was unthinkable

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whoosh. My DD roommate has contacted her. Seems nice enough, but I gather she is fairly well off and wants to 'decorate' and 'coordinate' the dorm room.

The most recent question was "what type of headboard should we get for the bed?" Huh? I sent my daughter some samples of pillows she could put on the bed, but said a "headboard" seemed a little too much.

Is this a thing now? I hardly had anything when I went. Couldn't afford such things. It's a state school, so there will surely be kids who don't have funds to do this.

I just don't want my DD to start off on the wrong foot with this young lady. I am not a decorator type nor do I particularly enjoy it. Will just be getting comfortable bedding - sheets and some posters. Also not interested in buying a bunch of junk that will wind up in a land-fill. Trying to think of a nice way for DD to tell the other gal that she has to stay in budget, etc etc etc.

DD is working for the summer out of state and not really able to address these "decorating" questions too.

Crazy

I don't think anyone has addressed the bolded. What, precisely, is the difficulty for your daughter? Why is it to hard for her to address these questions?

Not the OP, but I’d guess she’s probably working at a summer camp, with limited access to internet, not much free time to browse Pinterest boards or Amazon, etc. My DD’s camp job would probably make that difficult, and I’m sure it wouldn’t be a priority on her few days off.

But the parent shouldn’t be communicating with the roommate on this, either. That’s just awkward. I’d tell the roommate DD will be in touch when she gets home next month or whatever, and leave it to her to navigate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whoosh. My DD roommate has contacted her. Seems nice enough, but I gather she is fairly well off and wants to 'decorate' and 'coordinate' the dorm room.

The most recent question was "what type of headboard should we get for the bed?" Huh? I sent my daughter some samples of pillows she could put on the bed, but said a "headboard" seemed a little too much.

Is this a thing now? I hardly had anything when I went. Couldn't afford such things. It's a state school, so there will surely be kids who don't have funds to do this.

I just don't want my DD to start off on the wrong foot with this young lady. I am not a decorator type nor do I particularly enjoy it. Will just be getting comfortable bedding - sheets and some posters. Also not interested in buying a bunch of junk that will wind up in a land-fill. Trying to think of a nice way for DD to tell the other gal that she has to stay in budget, etc etc etc.

DD is working for the summer out of state and not really able to address these "decorating" questions too.

Crazy

I don't think anyone has addressed the bolded. What, precisely, is the difficulty for your daughter? Why is it to hard for her to address these questions?

Not the OP, but I’d guess she’s probably working at a summer camp, with limited access to internet, not much free time to browse Pinterest boards or Amazon, etc. My DD’s camp job would probably make that difficult, and I’m sure it wouldn’t be a priority on her few days off.

But the parent shouldn’t be communicating with the roommate on this, either. That’s just awkward. I’d tell the roommate DD will be in touch when she gets home next month or whatever, and leave it to her to navigate.

If that's the case, literally a 3 sentence email to the roommate would explain it. There's zero reason for Op to be involved at all. She's just wasting fuel for her helicopter.

[Anonymous]

Yes, the headboard is a thing. There is a company that will deliver all of this stuff to the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whoosh. My DD roommate has contacted her. Seems nice enough, but I gather she is fairly well off and wants to 'decorate' and 'coordinate' the dorm room.

The most recent question was "what type of headboard should we get for the bed?" Huh? I sent my daughter some samples of pillows she could put on the bed, but said a "headboard" seemed a little too much.

Is this a thing now? I hardly had anything when I went. Couldn't afford such things. It's a state school, so there will surely be kids who don't have funds to do this.

I just don't want my DD to start off on the wrong foot with this young lady. I am not a decorator type nor do I particularly enjoy it. Will just be getting comfortable bedding - sheets and some posters. Also not interested in buying a bunch of junk that will wind up in a land-fill. Trying to think of a nice way for DD to tell the other gal that she has to stay in budget, etc etc etc.

DD is working for the summer out of state and not really able to address these "decorating" questions too.

Crazy

I don't think anyone has addressed the bolded. What, precisely, is the difficulty for your daughter? Why is it to hard for her to address these questions?

Not the OP, but I’d guess she’s probably working at a summer camp, with limited access to internet, not much free time to browse Pinterest boards or Amazon, etc. My DD’s camp job would probably make that difficult, and I’m sure it wouldn’t be a priority on her few days off.

But the parent shouldn’t be communicating with the roommate on this, either. That’s just awkward. I’d tell the roommate DD will be in touch when she gets home next month or whatever, and leave it to her to navigate.

+10 Bingo!!! This poster wins a prize!!!

[Anonymous]

Seems very high maintenance...

[Anonymous]

OP, there are a million threads here complaining about how DC can’t break into friend groups at college. Your DD’s roommate is giving her a golden opportunity to bond before the year even starts. And if she’s wealthy, that may mean connections from your DD. That’s what you should be focusing on, not the $80 it costs to buy a headboard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to college in 1994 and my roommate and I coordinated. Not to the degree some girls do today, but we did talk about it before we purchased things. RIP Linens N Things

I went to college in 1994 and attempted to get my roommate to coordinate with me. She hated me because of it. We switched by Halloween. We were not well suited but I also should have cooled it with the room decorating discussion.