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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m 45 and married. Most of my friends have stayed attractive. I don’t necessarily the time and effort makes someone more pretty. I have a few friends who seem obsessed with beauty routines and I don’t like to hang out with them as much. You can take good care of yourself without telling others. If I am annoyed hearing about it, I’m sure a guy would be more turned off. They want to think you are just attractive.

DH earns a seven figure income and I don’t work. I can spend as much time and money as I want on myself. I also spend 4 hours on skincare/spa per week but no one needs to know or care. I work out daily. I have friends who just don’t eat a lot or drink tons of water and don’t go to the spa and they look fantastic.

I’m not sure why you need to tell these guys how much time and money you spend on your beauty. It makes you sound vain.[/quote]

Same here. No one on my circle goes on and on about our beauty routines. If anything, we downplay our efforts. You can also divorce the idea of exercise from beauty and just do it because it makes you feel good, which is something you shouldn’t apologize for or over explain. [/quote]

You downplay your efforts?  So you feed into the myth of "natural" aging and that looking effortlessly good comes with minimal effort?[/quote]

NP here, and I also don’t bore others by droning in about my beauty and fitness routines, even though I spend a lot of time and money on looking good.  In the first place, it’s boring and tone-deaf: nobody wants to hear about what I did at the gym or what I’m doing to my skin.  In the second place, it is insensitive.  Not everyone has the time or money to spend on that kind of routine, and some of my friends struggle with their weight.  My best friend thinks our other friend is targeting her when the woman talks about her diet and routine, and…it kind of does look that way.  Just really immature and thoughtless. I would rather talk about books or politics or shared experiences, not force a captive audience to hear what I do for vanity (I am vain).
[/quote]

LOL, it's not a choice of discussion between books/politics and beauty routines, is it?  But if someone asks what you are doing on Tuesday afternoon, and on Tuesday afternoon, you are going to the gym, do you answer? or do you hide and act coy?  that's what OP's situation is about.  [/quote]

I’m the 45yo married pp. I personally work out right after I drop my kids off at school and not in the afternoons. DH knows I do this and doesn’t care. My friends also know this and don’t care. I don’t talk about it, just as I don’t talk about showering and washing my hair. I am a frequent spa goer - nails, facials and massages. Most people don’t ask exact details of your day hour by hour. You are available or not available whether it is because you have a work call, doc appointment, driving your kids, on a date with another man.

It is all about the way you make another person feel. I try to work out almost everyday. This is easy when Dh is at work and kids at school. If I also worked and tried to work out during dinner, that would be a problem. I work out on weekends when everyone is waking up. [b]My family and friends all know I work out in the mornings.[/b] No one cares.[/quote]

That's it. They all know.  You are all telling OP to hide this info from boyfriend.  If he actually gives an F, he is the one who is too sensitive.[/quote]

I mean will OP’s bf care if she goes to the gym for an hour after sex? She can just come back and shower and then they can eat breakfast or go out for brunch. That’s what I do.

I really don’t talk about my working out. If friend wants to meet up, I say I will meet at 10 or 11 after I work out. If friend isn’t available, I will skip my workout and meet friend and work out a little later. And yes, of course I don’t have to work out everyday. [/quote]

Benefits of not having a job. Some of us have to balance our commitments or we can’t work out.[/quote]

Omg this woman is single and childless. How many commitments can she have?! She can work out any time she wants. She can also meet the boyfriend any time too.[/quote]

I have a job and a child. I am widowed. In order to date I have to juggle multiple things.[/quote]

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