Anybody else extremely depressed over real estate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This house is in our community. It gives you access to pool, tennis courts, walking trails, etc. Schools are looked down upon here, but are fine. If you’re willing to be flexible, you can find home, community, etc.

https://www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/15400-Eagle-Tavern-Ln_Centreville_VA_20120_M56692-84746

Sure beats living in a condo, but not my type of house. An 80s McMansion. The white walls are depressing!! And the 80s kitchen!! But again, much nicer than a teensy condo, and plenty of room for kids to spread out. It ain't Alexandria, but looks like a perfectly fine place to live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s very hard to be sympathetic to someone who has over a million dollars to spend on a house when we are happily raising our teens in a 3-bedroom rowhouse in DC that would sell for significantly less than that. There are thousands of other families doing the same. I would like to live on a cliff overlooking the Pacific and have a fenced in acre for my dog, but I’m not “suicidal” because that isn’t in the cards (or my budget). You are always going to be dissatisfied with something if you don’t change your outlook, OP.

You're missing the point. OP and others were able to have that but they didn't buy and suddenly they couldn't have it anymore. That stings. Why do you click on these threads if you're just here to kick the posters when they're down?

My point was that OP (who apparently has a million to spend) has a lot of options. She seems determined to not accept any of them. Even in DC, anyone with a million-dollar budget is not “down.”

Really, PP. STFU. Do your whining elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a second-time buyer and I am depressed too. Current home is a condo, has not appreciated much but everything else has, and our equity will not make up the gap.

We thought we were being practical buying a condo as first-time buyers because it was well within our budget and close in, which has saved us a lot of money on commuting over the years. And we have saved the difference in what we might have paid for a house if that's what we'd bought. But neither our appreciation nor our savings (nor our incomes) can keep up with the appreciation in houses over the last 7/8 years.

We either have to accept that we're raising kids in a small condo with bad IB schools, or make the big jump to a lower COL area. I guess it's better to have these two options than no options, but it's still disappointing. Especially when peers who only spent maybe 50-80k more (back when borrowing money was cheaper than it is now) are sitting on way more appreciation and have way more options. Our mistake was underbuying and being overly conservative about debt. It's a tough thing to reconcile.

I made the same mistake being overly conservative and now it's impossible to move up

It's a crap shoot, PP.
We did the same thing -- failed to stretch when we could. The result is that we live in a pleasant, small house in a good school district, which fine. But had we stretched a bit, we would be living in a much nicer house, the type of house that I would enjoy living in. This is a middle class regret, and I'm not complaining that I don't have enough money to feed my kids or anything. But I wish I'd made a different decision, that I'd stretched and suffered a bit for a few years until our incomes caught up and we could live more comfortably.
However, things might have gone south. DH had a job scare a while back, and had he lost his job, we would NOT have lost our modest home. Were we living in a larger home with a bigger mortgage, we surely would have lost the house if he'd lost his job. There are good reasons for being conservative, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If bank CDs pay 5 percent and Real Estate stays flat next 4-7 years it makes it easy to save up a large downpayment in a risk free safe investment.

Now if they raise rates more and we have six percent CDs and six per by treasuries and 6 percent muni bonds and 5 percent money markets and home prices stay flat super easy to save up safely

Home prices do not need to rise at all next 5-10 years as long as price is stable will be very little defaults on mortgage loans

Home prices don’t need to fall as long as people safely can earn 4-6 percent on down payment fund.

My kid’s childhood will be over by then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Houses I could have stretched to buy at 1.2M 1-3 years ago are now at 1.7M. With current rates and can't afford today's 1.2M, which is orders of magnitude less nice what what I didn't stretch to buy 1-2 years ago. I am miserable.

Read what you wrote. You are in a position to spend $1.2 MILLION DOLLARS on a house. You are doing just fine.

I am not blaming you or throwing shade, but the sooner you realize that your mindset (not your actual circumstances) are the source of your misery, the quicker you can move on and stop beating yourself up over this.

Correct. If you are miserable in the situation of being able to afford a 1.2 million dollar house, you might just be miserable. I hope you extend a lot of grace and support for the great majority of people who can’t afford any house or can afford only a much cheaper home.

Why are you even posting here?
Op asked if anyone else was upset as she is.
You have no need to comment.
If she's depressed because she can't afford a $3 million home, when she could have five years ago, well, why not allow her that regret? It's her privilege to have enough money to spend for a nice home, and she has a right to regret her own financial decisions. They are not yours or mine, but they are hers, and she's allowed to feel the way she does, regretting what she might have done.

Right, and people posting on the finance forum that they make $450k HHI and still don't feel they measure up have the right to post as well.

As expected, the 99% who make less than that will rightfully point out the OP should be happy they make more than almost anyone else even in this HCOL area.

It's about reading the room. There are probably country clubs and such where one could elicit sympathy for not being able to afford a $3 mil home.

I love how you have distorted and escalated what she posted. You’re up to $3M now. OP is saying she can’t even afford a $1M home anymore, whereas the $1.2M home she could have gotten 1-3 years ago is now worth $1.8. Sorry, but that is totally life-changing reversal of fortune whether you like it or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Middle aged first time buyer and I am practically suicidal over mistakes I made by not buying at what turned out to be the last possible time I could have afforded a nice house.

Yes, I posted about the same thing a month ago. prices are insane. I couldn't stomach $1.35M for a fixer upper. It just seems insane in this area. We are very sad about it.

If you want to make yourself feel better, look at real estate prices in Los Angeles. You can't get a condo for $1.35 million, much less a fixer-upper. Feel lucky you have a roof over your head. The homeless problem in LA is insane because of the housing shortage. There literally is nowhere for folks on low incomes to live.

According to those here they should stop whining about not being able to afford $1.3M homes. Well, OP can’t even get into $1M anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Middle aged first time buyer and I am practically suicidal over mistakes I made by not buying at what turned out to be the last possible time I could have afforded a nice house.

Yes, I posted about the same thing a month ago. prices are insane. I couldn't stomach $1.35M for a fixer upper. It just seems insane in this area. We are very sad about it.

If you want to make yourself feel better, look at real estate prices in Los Angeles. You can't get a condo for $1.35 million, much less a fixer-upper. Feel lucky you have a roof over your head. The homeless problem in LA is insane because of the housing shortage. There literally is nowhere for folks on low incomes to live.

According to those here they should stop whining about not being able to afford $1.3M homes. Well, OP can’t even get into $1M anymore.

There have been multiple houses posted for way under $1 million. They may not be what OP wants, but we all have to make choices and trade offs. There are lots of actual options for OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Houses I could have stretched to buy at 1.2M 1-3 years ago are now at 1.7M. With current rates and can't afford today's 1.2M, which is orders of magnitude less nice what what I didn't stretch to buy 1-2 years ago. I am miserable.

Read what you wrote. You are in a position to spend $1.2 MILLION DOLLARS on a house. You are doing just fine.

I am not blaming you or throwing shade, but the sooner you realize that your mindset (not your actual circumstances) are the source of your misery, the quicker you can move on and stop beating yourself up over this.

Correct. If you are miserable in the situation of being able to afford a 1.2 million dollar house, you might just be miserable. I hope you extend a lot of grace and support for the great majority of people who can’t afford any house or can afford only a much cheaper home.

Why are you even posting here?
Op asked if anyone else was upset as she is.
You have no need to comment.
If she's depressed because she can't afford a $3 million home, when she could have five years ago, well, why not allow her that regret? It's her privilege to have enough money to spend for a nice home, and she has a right to regret her own financial decisions. They are not yours or mine, but they are hers, and she's allowed to feel the way she does, regretting what she might have done.

Right, and people posting on the finance forum that they make $450k HHI and still don't feel they measure up have the right to post as well.

As expected, the 99% who make less than that will rightfully point out the OP should be happy they make more than almost anyone else even in this HCOL area.

It's about reading the room. There are probably country clubs and such where one could elicit sympathy for not being able to afford a $3 mil home.

I love how you have distorted and escalated what she posted. You’re up to $3M now. OP is saying she can’t even afford a $1M home anymore, whereas the $1.2M home she could have gotten 1-3 years ago is now worth $1.8. Sorry, but that is totally life-changing reversal of fortune whether you like it or not.

PP above this reply is the one who said OP would be well within her right to be upset about not being able to afford a $3 million home.

The point is yes, she can be upset, but the farther away your fantasies get from what normal people around here can afford, the less sympathy you will get. Like, should I be sorry someone else can't afford a private jet when I can barely afford once a year plane tix for vacation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If bank CDs pay 5 percent and Real Estate stays flat next 4-7 years it makes it easy to save up a large downpayment in a risk free safe investment.

Now if they raise rates more and we have six percent CDs and six per by treasuries and 6 percent muni bonds and 5 percent money markets and home prices stay flat super easy to save up safely

Home prices do not need to rise at all next 5-10 years as long as price is stable will be very little defaults on mortgage loans

Home prices don’t need to fall as long as people safely can earn 4-6 percent on down payment fund.

My kid’s childhood will be over by then.

OP, if your biggest goal is to give your kids a bigger house while they are still living with you, just take your down payment savings for the $1 mil home and use it to rent a bigger house for the next few years until they move out. Then move back to a smaller place on your own (and prepare to work longer if needed to retire). Adding a couple thousand more to your current rent budget from savings should get you into a bigger rental.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This house is in our community. It gives you access to pool, tennis courts, walking trails, etc. Schools are looked down upon here, but are fine. If you’re willing to be flexible, you can find home, community, etc.

https://www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/15400-Eagle-Tavern-Ln_Centreville_VA_20120_M56692-84746

Sure beats living in a condo, but not my type of house. An 80s McMansion. The white walls are depressing!! And the 80s kitchen!! But again, much nicer than a teensy condo, and plenty of room for kids to spread out. It ain't Alexandria, but looks like a perfectly fine place to live.

Walls can be painted easily! And the kitchen can be updated as budget allows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If bank CDs pay 5 percent and Real Estate stays flat next 4-7 years it makes it easy to save up a large downpayment in a risk free safe investment.

Now if they raise rates more and we have six percent CDs and six per by treasuries and 6 percent muni bonds and 5 percent money markets and home prices stay flat super easy to save up safely

Home prices do not need to rise at all next 5-10 years as long as price is stable will be very little defaults on mortgage loans

Home prices don’t need to fall as long as people safely can earn 4-6 percent on down payment fund.

My kid’s childhood will be over by then.

OP, if your biggest goal is to give your kids a bigger house while they are still living with you, just take your down payment savings for the $1 mil home and use it to rent a bigger house for the next few years until they move out. Then move back to a smaller place on your own (and prepare to work longer if needed to retire). Adding a couple thousand more to your current rent budget from savings should get you into a bigger rental.

That’s not the point. I want it to be OUR home. I want to decorate it. I want it to have a sense of permanence. Not the crappy temporary solutions I’ve provided until now. But it looks like crappy is all I have to give.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our house cost $600k and is still worth under a million. We have a nice (though unmodernized) 4 bedroom in a great school district (BCC) within easy walk of the metro.

Our compromise was buying on a busy road. There will always be compromises. But we are immensely grateful for what we have had and have loved raising kids here.

So no, I don’t have much sympathy with OP. I think having a better attitude would solve all her problems.

Fine, don't have sympathy for OP.

But I hope you understand that there are many people who have been priced out of the market, even buying an unmodernized house on a busy road, because not only can they not afford the 800-900k it would now list at, but they might not even be able to by it at 600k as you did, because rate increases make that 600k house significantly more expensive.

You can't "better attitude" your way out of simply being priced out of an entire market. 10 years ago in this area, people looking for starter homes around 500k could find them. They'd have to make compromises on size, location, schools, and upgrades, but you could buy something and get onto the property ladder. Now you can't. Now it's hard to find that for 750k and it all costs more -- the mortgage, the closing costs, any minor upgrades you might make to a fixer upper so it works for you.

A lot of us are just SOL. And now have to decide between moving way out with a long commute (the people in this position don't tend to have super flexible, remote jobs they can take wherever), waiting a couple years to see if we can save up more/increase incomes to make it easier (risking prices going up even more), or uproot and just head somewhere else. These options suck. I would LOVE an unmodernized house on a busy street with good schools. Seriously, I'm to the point where I think I'd give up my non-dominant hand for it.

If you are open to TH there are many options. Here's one that's very close in:
https://www.redfin.com/VA/Arlington/921-S-Rolfe-St-22204/unit-2/home/11263547

Another cheap duplex in the 600s: https://www.redfin.com/VA/Arlington/842-S-Dinwiddie-St-22204/home/11260054

And another:https://www.redfin.com/VA/Arlington/5637-7th-Pl-S-22204/home/11259718

These are horrible. Not OP but I would sooner rent than buy one of these ugly little starter homes in middle age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Middle aged first time buyer and I am practically suicidal over mistakes I made by not buying at what turned out to be the last possible time I could have afforded a nice house.

Well, instead think about all the times you could have bought but it wasn't the last possible yet, if it makes you feel better

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our house cost $600k and is still worth under a million. We have a nice (though unmodernized) 4 bedroom in a great school district (BCC) within easy walk of the metro.

Our compromise was buying on a busy road. There will always be compromises. But we are immensely grateful for what we have had and have loved raising kids here.

So no, I don’t have much sympathy with OP. I think having a better attitude would solve all her problems.

Fine, don't have sympathy for OP.

But I hope you understand that there are many people who have been priced out of the market, even buying an unmodernized house on a busy road, because not only can they not afford the 800-900k it would now list at, but they might not even be able to by it at 600k as you did, because rate increases make that 600k house significantly more expensive.

You can't "better attitude" your way out of simply being priced out of an entire market. 10 years ago in this area, people looking for starter homes around 500k could find them. They'd have to make compromises on size, location, schools, and upgrades, but you could buy something and get onto the property ladder. Now you can't. Now it's hard to find that for 750k and it all costs more -- the mortgage, the closing costs, any minor upgrades you might make to a fixer upper so it works for you.

A lot of us are just SOL. And now have to decide between moving way out with a long commute (the people in this position don't tend to have super flexible, remote jobs they can take wherever), waiting a couple years to see if we can save up more/increase incomes to make it easier (risking prices going up even more), or uproot and just head somewhere else. These options suck. I would LOVE an unmodernized house on a busy street with good schools. Seriously, I'm to the point where I think I'd give up my non-dominant hand for it.

If you are open to TH there are many options. Here's one that's very close in:
https://www.redfin.com/VA/Arlington/921-S-Rolfe-St-22204/unit-2/home/11263547

Another cheap duplex in the 600s: https://www.redfin.com/VA/Arlington/842-S-Dinwiddie-St-22204/home/11260054

And another:https://www.redfin.com/VA/Arlington/5637-7th-Pl-S-22204/home/11259718

These are horrible. Not OP but I would sooner rent than buy one of these ugly little starter homes in middle age.

Damn, you have issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our house cost $600k and is still worth under a million. We have a nice (though unmodernized) 4 bedroom in a great school district (BCC) within easy walk of the metro.

Our compromise was buying on a busy road. There will always be compromises. But we are immensely grateful for what we have had and have loved raising kids here.

So no, I don’t have much sympathy with OP. I think having a better attitude would solve all her problems.

Fine, don't have sympathy for OP.

But I hope you understand that there are many people who have been priced out of the market, even buying an unmodernized house on a busy road, because not only can they not afford the 800-900k it would now list at, but they might not even be able to by it at 600k as you did, because rate increases make that 600k house significantly more expensive.

You can't "better attitude" your way out of simply being priced out of an entire market. 10 years ago in this area, people looking for starter homes around 500k could find them. They'd have to make compromises on size, location, schools, and upgrades, but you could buy something and get onto the property ladder. Now you can't. Now it's hard to find that for 750k and it all costs more -- the mortgage, the closing costs, any minor upgrades you might make to a fixer upper so it works for you.

A lot of us are just SOL. And now have to decide between moving way out with a long commute (the people in this position don't tend to have super flexible, remote jobs they can take wherever), waiting a couple years to see if we can save up more/increase incomes to make it easier (risking prices going up even more), or uproot and just head somewhere else. These options suck. I would LOVE an unmodernized house on a busy street with good schools. Seriously, I'm to the point where I think I'd give up my non-dominant hand for it.

If you are open to TH there are many options. Here's one that's very close in:
https://www.redfin.com/VA/Arlington/921-S-Rolfe-St-22204/unit-2/home/11263547

Another cheap duplex in the 600s: https://www.redfin.com/VA/Arlington/842-S-Dinwiddie-St-22204/home/11260054

And another:https://www.redfin.com/VA/Arlington/5637-7th-Pl-S-22204/home/11259718

These are horrible. Not OP but I would sooner rent than buy one of these ugly little starter homes in middle age.

Fair enough, but when you have limited funds, you have to make choices. It sounds like renting is OP's choice as well, which is fine, but just know that some people bought places like this to get on the property ladder many years ago, which enabled them to move up to something better eventually.

That ship has sailed for OP it sounds like, if her goal was to get her kids into a better place while they're still at home. But if buying was that high a priority for her, I don't know why she didn't pull the trigger when the rates were low? Everyone knew the historically low 2% rates wouldn't last forever.