Anybody else extremely depressed over real estate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, people are only focused on appreciation, but they really aren't subtracting out all of the costs for repairs, maintenance, taxes, and insurance. You really aren't gaining that much equity when you blow $20k on a new roof, $10k on a new AC, $10k on masonry repairs, etc. Etc..it never ends.

Most people don't wind up having to spend 100k+ on maintenance and repairs on their home. Some do, but most don't. I think where people get themselves into trouble is constantly updating/upgrading. A lot of people these days buy a home and then instantly want to renovate the kitchen (even when it's only 10-15 years old), overhaul the landscaping and outdoor spaces, maybe do a bathroom or two. This is new. It used to be that you moved into a house and you just lived with it for the most part, or upgraded slowly as you went, until it was time to sell, and then you'd do any necessary renovations to make it marketable. Now it's flipped, and people will spend a lot (often with money they have to borrow) to make their house exactly what they want.

Then if they have to replace the HVAC system or the roof 10 years in, it's like "oh no, catastrophe." But that's because they were short sighted when they bought, not realizing that stuff happens with houses and it's way more important to be able to handle those maintenance items than to have an on trend backsplash or the perfect custom deck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our house cost $600k and is still worth under a million. We have a nice (though unmodernized) 4 bedroom in a great school district (BCC) within easy walk of the metro.

Our compromise was buying on a busy road. There will always be compromises. But we are immensely grateful for what we have had and have loved raising kids here.

So no, I don’t have much sympathy with OP. I think having a better attitude would solve all her problems.

Fine, don't have sympathy for OP.

But I hope you understand that there are many people who have been priced out of the market, even buying an unmodernized house on a busy road, because not only can they not afford the 800-900k it would now list at, but they might not even be able to by it at 600k as you did, because rate increases make that 600k house significantly more expensive.

You can't "better attitude" your way out of simply being priced out of an entire market. 10 years ago in this area, people looking for starter homes around 500k could find them. They'd have to make compromises on size, location, schools, and upgrades, but you could buy something and get onto the property ladder. Now you can't. Now it's hard to find that for 750k and it all costs more -- the mortgage, the closing costs, any minor upgrades you might make to a fixer upper so it works for you.

A lot of us are just SOL. And now have to decide between moving way out with a long commute (the people in this position don't tend to have super flexible, remote jobs they can take wherever), waiting a couple years to see if we can save up more/increase incomes to make it easier (risking prices going up even more), or uproot and just head somewhere else. These options suck. I would LOVE an unmodernized house on a busy street with good schools. Seriously, I'm to the point where I think I'd give up my non-dominant hand for it.

Also missing here is that 7-10 years of appreciation just happened in 2-3 years. THAT is the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our house cost $600k and is still worth under a million. We have a nice (though unmodernized) 4 bedroom in a great school district (BCC) within easy walk of the metro.

Our compromise was buying on a busy road. There will always be compromises. But we are immensely grateful for what we have had and have loved raising kids here.

So no, I don’t have much sympathy with OP. I think having a better attitude would solve all her problems.

Fine, don't have sympathy for OP.

But I hope you understand that there are many people who have been priced out of the market, even buying an unmodernized house on a busy road, because not only can they not afford the 800-900k it would now list at, but they might not even be able to by it at 600k as you did, because rate increases make that 600k house significantly more expensive.

You can't "better attitude" your way out of simply being priced out of an entire market. 10 years ago in this area, people looking for starter homes around 500k could find them. They'd have to make compromises on size, location, schools, and upgrades, but you could buy something and get onto the property ladder. Now you can't. Now it's hard to find that for 750k and it all costs more -- the mortgage, the closing costs, any minor upgrades you might make to a fixer upper so it works for you.

A lot of us are just SOL. And now have to decide between moving way out with a long commute (the people in this position don't tend to have super flexible, remote jobs they can take wherever), waiting a couple years to see if we can save up more/increase incomes to make it easier (risking prices going up even more), or uproot and just head somewhere else. These options suck. I would LOVE an unmodernized house on a busy street with good schools. Seriously, I'm to the point where I think I'd give up my non-dominant hand for it.

If you are open to TH there are many options. Here's one that's very close in:
https://www.redfin.com/VA/Arlington/921-S-Rolfe-St-22204/unit-2/home/11263547

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our house cost $600k and is still worth under a million. We have a nice (though unmodernized) 4 bedroom in a great school district (BCC) within easy walk of the metro.

Our compromise was buying on a busy road. There will always be compromises. But we are immensely grateful for what we have had and have loved raising kids here.

So no, I don’t have much sympathy with OP. I think having a better attitude would solve all her problems.

Fine, don't have sympathy for OP.

But I hope you understand that there are many people who have been priced out of the market, even buying an unmodernized house on a busy road, because not only can they not afford the 800-900k it would now list at, but they might not even be able to by it at 600k as you did, because rate increases make that 600k house significantly more expensive.

You can't "better attitude" your way out of simply being priced out of an entire market. 10 years ago in this area, people looking for starter homes around 500k could find them. They'd have to make compromises on size, location, schools, and upgrades, but you could buy something and get onto the property ladder. Now you can't. Now it's hard to find that for 750k and it all costs more -- the mortgage, the closing costs, any minor upgrades you might make to a fixer upper so it works for you.

A lot of us are just SOL. And now have to decide between moving way out with a long commute (the people in this position don't tend to have super flexible, remote jobs they can take wherever), waiting a couple years to see if we can save up more/increase incomes to make it easier (risking prices going up even more), or uproot and just head somewhere else. These options suck. I would LOVE an unmodernized house on a busy street with good schools. Seriously, I'm to the point where I think I'd give up my non-dominant hand for it.

If you are open to TH there are many options. Here's one that's very close in:
https://www.redfin.com/VA/Arlington/921-S-Rolfe-St-22204/unit-2/home/11263547

Another cheap duplex in the 600s: https://www.redfin.com/VA/Arlington/842-S-Dinwiddie-St-22204/home/11260054

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our house cost $600k and is still worth under a million. We have a nice (though unmodernized) 4 bedroom in a great school district (BCC) within easy walk of the metro.

Our compromise was buying on a busy road. There will always be compromises. But we are immensely grateful for what we have had and have loved raising kids here.

So no, I don’t have much sympathy with OP. I think having a better attitude would solve all her problems.

Fine, don't have sympathy for OP.

But I hope you understand that there are many people who have been priced out of the market, even buying an unmodernized house on a busy road, because not only can they not afford the 800-900k it would now list at, but they might not even be able to by it at 600k as you did, because rate increases make that 600k house significantly more expensive.

You can't "better attitude" your way out of simply being priced out of an entire market. 10 years ago in this area, people looking for starter homes around 500k could find them. They'd have to make compromises on size, location, schools, and upgrades, but you could buy something and get onto the property ladder. Now you can't. Now it's hard to find that for 750k and it all costs more -- the mortgage, the closing costs, any minor upgrades you might make to a fixer upper so it works for you.

A lot of us are just SOL. And now have to decide between moving way out with a long commute (the people in this position don't tend to have super flexible, remote jobs they can take wherever), waiting a couple years to see if we can save up more/increase incomes to make it easier (risking prices going up even more), or uproot and just head somewhere else. These options suck. I would LOVE an unmodernized house on a busy street with good schools. Seriously, I'm to the point where I think I'd give up my non-dominant hand for it.

If you are open to TH there are many options. Here's one that's very close in:
https://www.redfin.com/VA/Arlington/921-S-Rolfe-St-22204/unit-2/home/11263547

Another cheap duplex in the 600s: https://www.redfin.com/VA/Arlington/842-S-Dinwiddie-St-22204/home/11260054

And another:https://www.redfin.com/VA/Arlington/5637-7th-Pl-S-22204/home/11259718

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our house cost $600k and is still worth under a million. We have a nice (though unmodernized) 4 bedroom in a great school district (BCC) within easy walk of the metro.

Our compromise was buying on a busy road. There will always be compromises. But we are immensely grateful for what we have had and have loved raising kids here.

So no, I don’t have much sympathy with OP. I think having a better attitude would solve all her problems.

Fine, don't have sympathy for OP.

But I hope you understand that there are many people who have been priced out of the market, even buying an unmodernized house on a busy road, because not only can they not afford the 800-900k it would now list at, but they might not even be able to by it at 600k as you did, because rate increases make that 600k house significantly more expensive.

You can't "better attitude" your way out of simply being priced out of an entire market. 10 years ago in this area, people looking for starter homes around 500k could find them. They'd have to make compromises on size, location, schools, and upgrades, but you could buy something and get onto the property ladder. Now you can't. Now it's hard to find that for 750k and it all costs more -- the mortgage, the closing costs, any minor upgrades you might make to a fixer upper so it works for you.

A lot of us are just SOL. And now have to decide between moving way out with a long commute (the people in this position don't tend to have super flexible, remote jobs they can take wherever), waiting a couple years to see if we can save up more/increase incomes to make it easier (risking prices going up even more), or uproot and just head somewhere else. These options suck. I would LOVE an unmodernized house on a busy street with good schools. Seriously, I'm to the point where I think I'd give up my non-dominant hand for it.

If you are open to TH there are many options. Here's one that's very close in:
https://www.redfin.com/VA/Arlington/921-S-Rolfe-St-22204/unit-2/home/11263547

Thank you, yes, this is the kind of thing we put in offers for. We are looking at MD, not VA, for commute reasons. But we'll see what it sells for -- there is often stiff competition for places like this and we've yet to win out. Our target price is 550k, we could stretch to 600k (painfully), if it goes for 650k we can't do it. And if someone comes in with all cash, shorter close, waiving inspection, etc., we can't compete because we can't do any of those things.

[Anonymous]

If bank CDs pay 5 percent and Real Estate stays flat next 4-7 years it makes it easy to save up a large downpayment in a risk free safe investment.

Now if they raise rates more and we have six percent CDs and six per by treasuries and 6 percent muni bonds and 5 percent money markets and home prices stay flat super easy to save up safely

Home prices do not need to rise at all next 5-10 years as long as price is stable will be very little defaults on mortgage loans

Home prices don’t need to fall as long as people safely can earn 4-6 percent on down payment fund.

[Anonymous]

People in DC are just experiencing NYC and San Fran normal in 2023 what has existed since 1978.

In NYC in 1985 you start off begging, bribing your way into a dumpy tiny rent stabilized walk up when newly married. You save a few years get a one bedroom coop. You save another 5-10 years get a tiny run down cape in surburbs. Then around 45-55 you get trade up house. Sometimes a 30 year journey.

DC was so affordable up to maybe 2016 people jumped right in or near at top as young couples. By 2021 it was hard to do. By 2023 near impossible given high prices and rates

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s very hard to be sympathetic to someone who has over a million dollars to spend on a house when we are happily raising our teens in a 3-bedroom rowhouse in DC that would sell for significantly less than that. There are thousands of other families doing the same. I would like to live on a cliff overlooking the Pacific and have a fenced in acre for my dog, but I’m not “suicidal” because that isn’t in the cards (or my budget). You are always going to be dissatisfied with something if you don’t change your outlook, OP.

You're missing the point. OP and others were able to have that but they didn't buy and suddenly they couldn't have it anymore. That stings. Why do you click on these threads if you're just here to kick the posters when they're down?

I'm not OP but I've posted in this thread about being depressed. I don't have a million dollars to spend (nor would I qualify for a mortgage for a million dollar house). I'd love a 3-bedroom rowhouse in DC -- I can't afford one. Depending on when you bought, I could probably now afford to buy your house at the price you paid for it. But not now. And you get to bank all that equity, which means if you want to move at some point, you'll be up probably a couple hundred thousand over me for that house, too.

You bought at the right time. You had enough for a down payment and enough income to buy your house that you now "happily" live in, when it still cost little enough for you to buy it. Maybe I'm a few years younger than you, maybe I'm in a different field and it took me longer to get to the down payment and income level you got to. Maybe I married later. You lucked out, I didn't. I'm depressed about it.

Also, just to really drive it home -- you have multiple kids and I only have once because we didn't have the space for another kid and then got priced out of the space for another kid and now we have only one kid. I love my kid! But yes, it's freaking hard when major life choices are dictated by how much money you have for a downpayment before the housing market skyrockets and you can no longer afford it at all.

Enjoy your family and your happy life in your 3 bedroom DC row house which will only increase rapidly in value. I can see why you took time out of your day to come here and complain.

DP, not the poster you're replying to, but they probably felt similar when they were buying that 3br rowhouse that seemed exorbitant at that time. Almost everyone has that feeling when they buy, that prices have risen so much and "it shouldn't cost so much for a house like this" and "if I had only been in the position to buy 10 years ago it would have been so much cheaper".

If you buy now, whatever it is you can afford now, it is likely that the next person a few years younger will complain about the same thing down the road and think that you got a bargain that they could never afford. It's not luck, it's the market and prices may flatten or dip slightly but they aren't going back to what they were 20 years ago. So you, and OP, should buy what you can now even if it's farther out or smaller than you would like.

This doesn't help the people locked into condos that are aging/not appreciating, hard to sell, and can't unlock equity to buy "whatever they can afford." They are effectively trapped in their starter condo.

Or in their rental. Or in their group house. Or in their parent’s house, where they share housing costs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s very hard to be sympathetic to someone who has over a million dollars to spend on a house when we are happily raising our teens in a 3-bedroom rowhouse in DC that would sell for significantly less than that. There are thousands of other families doing the same. I would like to live on a cliff overlooking the Pacific and have a fenced in acre for my dog, but I’m not “suicidal” because that isn’t in the cards (or my budget). You are always going to be dissatisfied with something if you don’t change your outlook, OP.

You're missing the point. OP and others were able to have that but they didn't buy and suddenly they couldn't have it anymore. That stings. Why do you click on these threads if you're just here to kick the posters when they're down?

I'm not OP but I've posted in this thread about being depressed. I don't have a million dollars to spend (nor would I qualify for a mortgage for a million dollar house). I'd love a 3-bedroom rowhouse in DC -- I can't afford one. Depending on when you bought, I could probably now afford to buy your house at the price you paid for it. But not now. And you get to bank all that equity, which means if you want to move at some point, you'll be up probably a couple hundred thousand over me for that house, too.

You bought at the right time. You had enough for a down payment and enough income to buy your house that you now "happily" live in, when it still cost little enough for you to buy it. Maybe I'm a few years younger than you, maybe I'm in a different field and it took me longer to get to the down payment and income level you got to. Maybe I married later. You lucked out, I didn't. I'm depressed about it.

Also, just to really drive it home -- you have multiple kids and I only have once because we didn't have the space for another kid and then got priced out of the space for another kid and now we have only one kid. I love my kid! But yes, it's freaking hard when major life choices are dictated by how much money you have for a downpayment before the housing market skyrockets and you can no longer afford it at all.

Enjoy your family and your happy life in your 3 bedroom DC row house which will only increase rapidly in value. I can see why you took time out of your day to come here and complain.

DP, not the poster you're replying to, but they probably felt similar when they were buying that 3br rowhouse that seemed exorbitant at that time. Almost everyone has that feeling when they buy, that prices have risen so much and "it shouldn't cost so much for a house like this" and "if I had only been in the position to buy 10 years ago it would have been so much cheaper".

If you buy now, whatever it is you can afford now, it is likely that the next person a few years younger will complain about the same thing down the road and think that you got a bargain that they could never afford. It's not luck, it's the market and prices may flatten or dip slightly but they aren't going back to what they were 20 years ago. So you, and OP, should buy what you can now even if it's farther out or smaller than you would like.

This doesn't help the people locked into condos that are aging/not appreciating, hard to sell, and can't unlock equity to buy "whatever they can afford." They are effectively trapped in their starter condo.

Or in their rental. Or in their group house. Or in their parent’s house, where they share housing costs.

Okay, and...? There have always been people who can't afford to buy, or who can't afford housing at all without help.

We are talking about OP whining that she can no longer afford a $1.2 million home and may have to (gasp!) settle for something farther out, less updated, smaller.

Which is also disappointing and I think many people can relate! But you have to move on and buy what you can afford, or make other choices and move on. Complaining you can't afford a SFH in Bethesda/CC is pretty tone deaf.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We compromised and moved to an exurb. Best decision we ever made.

We are considering this. Do you work remotely? How is this the best decision?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Houses I could have stretched to buy at 1.2M 1-3 years ago are now at 1.7M. With current rates and can't afford today's 1.2M, which is orders of magnitude less nice what what I didn't stretch to buy 1-2 years ago. I am miserable.

Read what you wrote. You are in a position to spend $1.2 MILLION DOLLARS on a house. You are doing just fine.

I am not blaming you or throwing shade, but the sooner you realize that your mindset (not your actual circumstances) are the source of your misery, the quicker you can move on and stop beating yourself up over this.

Correct. If you are miserable in the situation of being able to afford a 1.2 million dollar house, you might just be miserable. I hope you extend a lot of grace and support for the great majority of people who can’t afford any house or can afford only a much cheaper home.

Why are you even posting here?
Op asked if anyone else was upset as she is.
You have no need to comment.
If she's depressed because she can't afford a $3 million home, when she could have five years ago, well, why not allow her that regret? It's her privilege to have enough money to spend for a nice home, and she has a right to regret her own financial decisions. They are not yours or mine, but they are hers, and she's allowed to feel the way she does, regretting what she might have done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get it OP. A year ago we moved to an area where home prices doubled or more during the pandemic. Kicking myself for not moving in Summer of 2020 to buy a home for half the price with open schools instead of dragging my kids through the hell of unnecessary school closures and other insane restrictions.

Nobody could have known what the pandemic was going to bring. For all we knew apocalypse was coming.

I saw such great deals (I'm not in DC) in spring 2021. Amazing houses that were steals. I wasn't wanting to move, as I am now, but I regret that I didn't just go for it and snap up one of those deals when they were available. Now, I can't move because there's nothing close to my price range. But none of us knew what was coming. It's just luck. Some of us are in the right place at the right time, and some of us aren't. My current house I bought in 2010 for a great price, and it's appreciated a lot. But so have a lot of other houses, so I'm stuck where I am.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Houses I could have stretched to buy at 1.2M 1-3 years ago are now at 1.7M. With current rates and can't afford today's 1.2M, which is orders of magnitude less nice what what I didn't stretch to buy 1-2 years ago. I am miserable.

Read what you wrote. You are in a position to spend $1.2 MILLION DOLLARS on a house. You are doing just fine.

I am not blaming you or throwing shade, but the sooner you realize that your mindset (not your actual circumstances) are the source of your misery, the quicker you can move on and stop beating yourself up over this.

Correct. If you are miserable in the situation of being able to afford a 1.2 million dollar house, you might just be miserable. I hope you extend a lot of grace and support for the great majority of people who can’t afford any house or can afford only a much cheaper home.

Why are you even posting here?
Op asked if anyone else was upset as she is.
You have no need to comment.
If she's depressed because she can't afford a $3 million home, when she could have five years ago, well, why not allow her that regret? It's her privilege to have enough money to spend for a nice home, and she has a right to regret her own financial decisions. They are not yours or mine, but they are hers, and she's allowed to feel the way she does, regretting what she might have done.

Right, and people posting on the finance forum that they make $450k HHI and still don't feel they measure up have the right to post as well.

As expected, the 99% who make less than that will rightfully point out the OP should be happy they make more than almost anyone else even in this HCOL area.

It's about reading the room. There are probably country clubs and such where one could elicit sympathy for not being able to afford a $3 mil home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Middle aged first time buyer and I am practically suicidal over mistakes I made by not buying at what turned out to be the last possible time I could have afforded a nice house.

Yes, I posted about the same thing a month ago. prices are insane. I couldn't stomach $1.35M for a fixer upper. It just seems insane in this area. We are very sad about it.

If you want to make yourself feel better, look at real estate prices in Los Angeles. You can't get a condo for $1.35 million, much less a fixer-upper. Feel lucky you have a roof over your head. The homeless problem in LA is insane because of the housing shortage. There literally is nowhere for folks on low incomes to live.