Would you have a baby with no arms / no legs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is incredibly sad to me and not because of the child but because of the responses from grown adult woman who breed. I'm saddened. What is deemed as an "unacceptable life" to many of you ladies. I have a friend born without arms and they lead a very happy and fulfilled life, great job, loves and volunteers with handicap dogs and animals. They want to be here and are thrilled their mother didn't abort them.

I'm sad for humanity.

How many severely disabled kids have you adopted?

[Anonymous]

I have a child with a disability and would not continue a pregnancy like this.

You have no idea how much work and worry goes into this. And carrying 24/7 for person with no arms and legs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Before we consented to testing, logic compelled us as a couple to have the difficult discussion "what if?"

In our own case, we committed to each other we would terminate. Luckily, thankfully, we never faced that situation.

In my mind, if you are not willing to terminate, do not bother testing at all.

We did testing so we could be prepared should our child have T21, spina bifida, HLS, osteogenesis imperfecta, or another condition that is compatible with life.

We agreed we would terminate should our child have triploidy, T18, T13, anencephaly, or another condition incompatible with life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Before we consented to testing, logic compelled us as a couple to have the difficult discussion "what if?"

In our own case, we committed to each other we would terminate. Luckily, thankfully, we never faced that situation.

In my mind, if you are not willing to terminate, do not bother testing at all.

I was friendly with a woman who got bad news at her 20-week anatomy scan. She said she cried in bed for two days, then got up and started making phone calls. She has a team assembled in the delivery room, ready to assist with the diagnoses her child had received, as soon as her child was delivered. Knowledge is power.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Before we consented to testing, logic compelled us as a couple to have the difficult discussion "what if?"

In our own case, we committed to each other we would terminate. Luckily, thankfully, we never faced that situation.

In my mind, if you are not willing to terminate, do not bother testing at all.

I was friendly with a woman who got bad news at her 20-week anatomy scan. She said she cried in bed for two days, then got up and started making phone calls. She has a team assembled in the delivery room, ready to assist with the diagnoses her child had received, as soon as her child was delivered. Knowledge is power.

Money talks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is incredibly sad to me and not because of the child but because of the responses from grown adult woman who breed. I'm saddened. What is deemed as an "unacceptable life" to many of you ladies. I have a friend born without arms and they lead a very happy and fulfilled life, great job, loves and volunteers with handicap dogs and animals. They want to be here and are thrilled their mother didn't abort them.

I'm sad for humanity.

Any life that I don’t want to bring into the world. I’m not a breeder, no matter what you say, and I am not obligated to host anything I don’t want to inside my body.

Having no legs AND no arms is much different than just no arms, btw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is incredibly sad to me and not because of the child but because of the responses from grown adult woman who breed. I'm saddened. What is deemed as an "unacceptable life" to many of you ladies. I have a friend born without arms and they lead a very happy and fulfilled life, great job, loves and volunteers with handicap dogs and animals. They want to be here and are thrilled their mother didn't abort them.

I'm sad for humanity.

Any life that I don’t want to bring into the world. I’m not a breeder, no matter what you say, and I am not obligated to host anything I don’t want to inside my body.

Having no legs AND no arms is much different than just no arms, btw.

Ok so no legs but arms ok?

Or

No arms but legs ok?

Or

One arm one leg ok?

How many limbs does your kid require?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is incredibly sad to me and not because of the child but because of the responses from grown adult woman who breed. I'm saddened. What is deemed as an "unacceptable life" to many of you ladies. I have a friend born without arms and they lead a very happy and fulfilled life, great job, loves and volunteers with handicap dogs and animals. They want to be here and are thrilled their mother didn't abort them.

I'm sad for humanity.

Any life that I don’t want to bring into the world. I’m not a breeder, no matter what you say, and I am not obligated to host anything I don’t want to inside my body.

Having no legs AND no arms is much different than just no arms, btw.

Ok so no legs but arms ok?

Or

No arms but legs ok?

Or

One arm one leg ok?

How many limbs does your kid require?

At this time in my life I would terminate all of the above.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would terminate. Life is hard. Life is so much harder for anyone with a handicap. It's not done abstract concept - it is what it is. All you fools in denial about how wonderful it is to life without limbs are nuts. I'd like to see you go without using arms and legs for a day. Unsure why that is a wonderful thing? There is life and then there is life that is miserable. I am wondering why you would set someone up for the latter just to make yourself feel good you have a life to take care of.

You’re seeing it from the perspective of an able bodied person. If all you’ve ever known is no limbs then you work with that. If this child has loving, supportive parents they can have a marvelous, if different life.

Most likely the parents will split. (Look up the stats.) And most likely the mother will end up being the full-time caregiver for this child. And when this child grows too big to lift easily, she will need help. She will need special and expensive help from the start while she works because she is going to have incredibly medical bills. We don't know the situation and we don't know how medically involved the child will be. What we do know, is that the child's quality of life will likely be incredibly poor, and that's before you tack on what it does to a family.

I have a friend who raised a severely disabled child. I would not wish it on anyone. She hasn't slept through the night in 40 years. They are people that deserve love and care and the best of everything like the rest of us... but our society leaves these parents alone to shoulder the incredible burden. Absolutely not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would terminate. Life would be miserable for the child.

And the parent who is relegated as primary caretaker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've always known that if I had conceived a child with a trisomy I would terminate. A friend is having a baby with no known defect, but will be born without limbs.

I feel like that is so much more of a gray area. I honestly don't know what I would have done. What would your thought process have been?

I feel like it would have been obvious at an early scan (12 weeks) to make it easier to terminate, but this person didn't get it until 4/5 months.

Would terminate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eugenics. Most people who claim they don’t support it would absolutely terminate. The eugenic attitude is still alive and well.

It’s not eugenics on an individual level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is incredibly sad to me and not because of the child but because of the responses from grown adult woman who breed. I'm saddened. What is deemed as an "unacceptable life" to many of you ladies. I have a friend born without arms and they lead a very happy and fulfilled life, great job, loves and volunteers with handicap dogs and animals. They want to be here and are thrilled their mother didn't abort them.

I'm sad for humanity.

I will 100% guarantee this comment is from a man, and a man who has never confronted this issue, to boot. "[G]rown adult wom[e]n who breed" is an offensive way to discuss the people who will first give their body to gestate a child, and then if that child happens to have disabilities, they will give everything else. Women know this. Women understand this. They realize that if they move forward they largely move forward alone, even with a supportive partner someone will have to go to work and sustain the family financially.

My friend who is still raising her severely disabled son (he's 20) gave up her career because it was just not feasible to try to maintain employment and do everything she needed to do for her child. It is well and good and to be commended for doing this. But it's not some fairy tale and as pointed out it's more likely than not that you will end up a single mom with a low, if any, income. And we know how society loves and supports them!

So, please spare me your sanctimony.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. Mostly because I have two other children. I wouldn't want them to have to care for a sibling when I'm gone and I also wouldn't want to take away time and attention from them the way that that baby would require.

Wow. So if one of your children has a terrible accident and needs a lot of therapy and care.....you'll leave them in a nursing home so you can focus all of your time and attention on the healthy one?

NP. Yes I would.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ten year old cousin has Downs. Reading these comments makes me wonder what some of you really think about her when you see her walking down the street.

?