Would you have a baby with no arms / no legs?

[Anonymous]

I've always known that if I had conceived a child with a trisomy I would terminate. A friend is having a baby with no known defect, but will be born without limbs.

I feel like that is so much more of a gray area. I honestly don't know what I would have done. What would your thought process have been?

I feel like it would have been obvious at an early scan (12 weeks) to make it easier to terminate, but this person didn't get it until 4/5 months.

[Anonymous]

Heartbreaking. I don't know how I could manage.

[Anonymous]

I would terminate. Thanks to Republicans, many women don't have this choice, however.

[Anonymous]

I'm not American, and have no qualms about terminating with major issues such as these. Coming to the State as an adult, I was surprised at the number of people who sacrifice their lives to care for children with significant disabilities. I can only conclude that wealth is a determinant factor, as is social acceptance of disabilities, which certainly does not exist to the same extent elsewhere. However I'd be very concerned about what happens to these children when their parents are not longer able to care for them.

[Anonymous]

That is absolutely heartbreaking. I am so sorry.

[Anonymous]

I have no idea. I've always been largely in the pro choice but my choice is to have the baby assuming they will be able to live without constant pain... but this is a hard one. I think I'd have to have a long talk with the doctors about what the medical and mechanical options would be for the baby to grow up and interact with the world and whether the brain/internal organs were healthy.

[Anonymous]

I'm sure you don't mean any harm, OP, but if I were your "friend" and stumbled across the discussion you started, I wouldn't feel too good.

[Anonymous]

No. Mostly because I have two other children. I wouldn't want them to have to care for a sibling when I'm gone and I also wouldn't want to take away time and attention from them the way that that baby would require.

[Anonymous]

Before we consented to testing, logic compelled us as a couple to have the difficult discussion "what if?"

In our own case, we committed to each other we would terminate. Luckily, thankfully, we never faced that situation.

In my mind, if you are not willing to terminate, do not bother testing at all.

[Anonymous]

I would bevreally worried about yhe challenges but I would give him/her a chance to live. Look up Nick Vujicic, he seems more accomplished than many DCUMs even without limbs
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nick_Vujicic?wprov=sfti1

[Anonymous]

at how many weeks gestation did they learn this?

[Anonymous]

I would have terminated at 12 weeks. I honestly don't know about 16 or later. Maybe?

[Anonymous]

An unknown issue is even worse. Something went very wrong in utero for this to happen. I would terminate. I've watched some friends deal with medically complicated children with no clear diagnosis or treatment plan. It's an endless whack a mole of issues and emergencies. The financial, emotional and mental strain is intense.

[Anonymous]

If I was in this situation, I would google and google would lead me here, and I would be incredibly hurt and desperately want to know which of my “friends” had betrayed me like this.

On a related note, as someone who has loved ones with T21, the idea that that’s a “defect” but having no limbs isn’t is bizarre.

Please ask for your post to be deleted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would bevreally worried about yhe challenges but I would give him/her a chance to live. Look up Nick Vujicic, he seems more accomplished than many DCUMs even without limbs
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nick_Vujicic?wprov=sfti1

Sure. But for every accomplished person with a severe disability, there are others who lead much more mundane and difficult lives. Especially if you are not sure about the cognitive issues.