Cons of private school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not typically mentioned on dcum or IRL, but private schools are often the haven for public school students who’ve had repeated discipline problems. Sending to a private school then is akin to an old fashioned reform school.

This is flat out false for any major private. The reverse is true. Any discipline problems and the kids are out. Privates have almost no discipline issues.

Unless you go to Flint Hill. The school is filled with UMC/LUP kids with behavioral problems that would not be tolerated at the top privates.

[Anonymous]

Mean girls. WE left a local private over it. We spoke to the headmaster about the cliques and nothing was ever done so we took DD and DS and left for other privates

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1.The reason many kids are in private are behavioral issues.
2. Private may or may not have faculty to help kids with any issues.
3. Religious privates many are sub par.

1. Wrong. Private schools generally expel or "counsel out" kids with behavior issues. Those kids end up in public school. I witnessed this happen in my daughter's school a few times.
2. Right. That's why private schools counsel out kids with those issues. They do generally have people to deal with mild learning differences though.
3. Wrong. My kid just finished 8th grade in a Catholic parochial private and is taking Algebra II with Pre-Calc in 9th grade.

I am not the poster that wrote that but you are wrong.

Honestly crap.

Privates have all the kids that can not hack it in public and they very rarely expel them.
Religious privates in particular are known to do this. They don’t have staff for counseling etc either. Unless you add in the child abusers.

And for math and science education there is nothing comparative in the DMV public is better.

My kids did public and Big Three and boarding like Andover fact private has all the lovely badly behaved mommy and daddy pay

There is no right or wrong here. Different people are having experiences at different schools. You cannot generalize across the board like this, and your generalizing is particularly egregious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your child is less likely to live near their friends.

Many of the students are very entitled and have a blinkered/very narrow world view.

If school is too small -limits social opportunities and is harder to find their tribe.

+100 especially on last point. Everyone is quick to label you which can be difficult to escape. And everyone knows everyone’s business. Our previously reserved DC left small private for large public and couldn’t be happier. He is practically a different person. Thriving.

And the reverse is possible too, of course. Our DC was lost and drowning socially in a huge public middle school. At a small private school, he has really blossomed and grown as a person. I wish we have moved him sooner.

[Anonymous]

Many mean boys too also at our 'nurturing' private school. In addition to the mean girls.
Some of the mean boys had connected/wealthy donor parents and therefore had no consequences for their bad behavior.
Also agree, one downside of the small class size is that it limits the choices for friends.
We wrongly assumed that we would have many great teachers at private school (both spouse and I came from public so we had no personal experience) but encountered many duds and only a few good/great ones.
Maybe all this happens at public school too.
Less rigorous math, in general compared with our friends who had kids in public.

[Anonymous]

We have done both private and public, they both have pluses and minuses.

The Cons of private schools are as follow:
-Gatekeeping of advance classes and where you apply.
-Influence some kids that there course work is too rigorous and others that it isn't rigorous enough
-You don't know what the school is teaching or helping students to accomplish vs. the parents tutoring. Lots of kids tutored in academics and coached in sports
-Attitude that they no what is best, perfect or can do no wrong
-Teachers who are only there so their kid can get free tuition
-Teachers who attended private schools growing up and have zero real experience dealing with diverse cultures
-Paying for textbooks on top of tuition. Often to find out you don't need it or your teacher gives you a digital copy
-Only one teacher who teaches a class/level so you may not be able to avoid the teacher
-Although they have a lot of APs, there is usually only one or two sessions leading to scheduling conflicts
-Treating your kid like a statistic versus an individual
-Not keeping up with changing times - dual enrollment, online course. Kids should be able to take almost any class.
-If you aren't a high donor, gifted athlete, or some hook for attending top schools then you are somehow not as important
-Find the best fit school for college but mainly feature and celebrate Ivy League attendees
-How much they have APs but showcase scores / AP scholars, AP scores and 3+ pass rates
-Clique students and parents
-Parents maneuvering to have their keep become friends with key, well off or influential families
-Parents making 200K, driving high end cards, visiting their parents second home on the beach while getting financial aide from the school. A lot of financial aid goes to wealth family and doesn't really help with economic or racial equity
-If you are a minority assuming you are from another country or if you are Black or Hispanic that you are on scholarship
-Insensitive faculty and families that aren't inclusive of (insert any group you want here)
-0 diversity of staff but talk a lot about diversity and claim to be diverse
-If you can't attend all of your kids events then you are an unfit parent
-Giving beyond tuition and then extra giving events beyond that
-Course in their books that only happen every other year or not at all
-Long term sub issues, the school may not have other teachers to teach the subject area

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have done both private and public, they both have pluses and minuses.

The Cons of private schools are as follow:
-Gatekeeping of advance classes and where you apply.
-Influence some kids that there course work is too rigorous and others that it isn't rigorous enough
-You don't know what the school is teaching or helping students to accomplish vs. the parents tutoring. Lots of kids tutored in academics and coached in sports
-Attitude that they no what is best, perfect or can do no wrong
-Teachers who are only there so their kid can get free tuition
-Teachers who attended private schools growing up and have zero real experience dealing with diverse cultures
-Paying for textbooks on top of tuition. Often to find out you don't need it or your teacher gives you a digital copy
-Only one teacher who teaches a class/level so you may not be able to avoid the teacher
-Although they have a lot of APs, there is usually only one or two sessions leading to scheduling conflicts
-Treating your kid like a statistic versus an individual
-Not keeping up with changing times - dual enrollment, online course. Kids should be able to take almost any class.
-If you aren't a high donor, gifted athlete, or some hook for attending top schools then you are somehow not as important
-Find the best fit school for college but mainly feature and celebrate Ivy League attendees
-How much they have APs but showcase scores / AP scholars, AP scores and 3+ pass rates
-Clique students and parents
-Parents maneuvering to have their keep become friends with key, well off or influential families
-Parents making 200K, driving high end cards, visiting their parents second home on the beach while getting financial aide from the school. A lot of financial aid goes to wealth family and doesn't really help with economic or racial equity
-If you are a minority assuming you are from another country or if you are Black or Hispanic that you are on scholarship
-Insensitive faculty and families that aren't inclusive of (insert any group you want here)
-0 diversity of staff but talk a lot about diversity and claim to be diverse
-If you can't attend all of your kids events then you are an unfit parent
-Giving beyond tuition and then extra giving events beyond that
-Course in their books that only happen every other year or not at all
-Long term sub issues, the school may not have other teachers to teach the subject area

+1 I feel like I know this list oh so well! Phew!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have done both private and public, they both have pluses and minuses.

The Cons of private schools are as follow:
-Gatekeeping of advance classes and where you apply.
-Influence some kids that there course work is too rigorous and others that it isn't rigorous enough
-You don't know what the school is teaching or helping students to accomplish vs. the parents tutoring. Lots of kids tutored in academics and coached in sports
-Attitude that they no what is best, perfect or can do no wrong
-Teachers who are only there so their kid can get free tuition
-Teachers who attended private schools growing up and have zero real experience dealing with diverse cultures
-Paying for textbooks on top of tuition. Often to find out you don't need it or your teacher gives you a digital copy
-Only one teacher who teaches a class/level so you may not be able to avoid the teacher
-Although they have a lot of APs, there is usually only one or two sessions leading to scheduling conflicts
-Treating your kid like a statistic versus an individual
-Not keeping up with changing times - dual enrollment, online course. Kids should be able to take almost any class.
-If you aren't a high donor, gifted athlete, or some hook for attending top schools then you are somehow not as important
-Find the best fit school for college but mainly feature and celebrate Ivy League attendees
-How much they have APs but showcase scores / AP scholars, AP scores and 3+ pass rates
-Clique students and parents
-Parents maneuvering to have their keep become friends with key, well off or influential families
-Parents making 200K, driving high end cards, visiting their parents second home on the beach while getting financial aide from the school. A lot of financial aid goes to wealth family and doesn't really help with economic or racial equity
-If you are a minority assuming you are from another country or if you are Black or Hispanic that you are on scholarship
-Insensitive faculty and families that aren't inclusive of (insert any group you want here)
-0 diversity of staff but talk a lot about diversity and claim to be diverse
-If you can't attend all of your kids events then you are an unfit parent
-Giving beyond tuition and then extra giving events beyond that
-Course in their books that only happen every other year or not at all
-Long term sub issues, the school may not have other teachers to teach the subject area

Wow, this is pretty comprehensive. However, I would submit that a lot of this applies to public schools, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have done both private and public, they both have pluses and minuses.

The Cons of private schools are as follow:
-Gatekeeping of advance classes and where you apply.
-Influence some kids that there course work is too rigorous and others that it isn't rigorous enough
-You don't know what the school is teaching or helping students to accomplish vs. the parents tutoring. Lots of kids tutored in academics and coached in sports
-Attitude that they no what is best, perfect or can do no wrong
-Teachers who are only there so their kid can get free tuition
-Teachers who attended private schools growing up and have zero real experience dealing with diverse cultures
-Paying for textbooks on top of tuition. Often to find out you don't need it or your teacher gives you a digital copy
-Only one teacher who teaches a class/level so you may not be able to avoid the teacher
-Although they have a lot of APs, there is usually only one or two sessions leading to scheduling conflicts
-Treating your kid like a statistic versus an individual
-Not keeping up with changing times - dual enrollment, online course. Kids should be able to take almost any class.
-If you aren't a high donor, gifted athlete, or some hook for attending top schools then you are somehow not as important
-Find the best fit school for college but mainly feature and celebrate Ivy League attendees
-How much they have APs but showcase scores / AP scholars, AP scores and 3+ pass rates
-Clique students and parents
-Parents maneuvering to have their keep become friends with key, well off or influential families
-Parents making 200K, driving high end cards, visiting their parents second home on the beach while getting financial aide from the school. A lot of financial aid goes to wealth family and doesn't really help with economic or racial equity
-If you are a minority assuming you are from another country or if you are Black or Hispanic that you are on scholarship
-Insensitive faculty and families that aren't inclusive of (insert any group you want here)
-0 diversity of staff but talk a lot about diversity and claim to be diverse
-If you can't attend all of your kids events then you are an unfit parent
-Giving beyond tuition and then extra giving events beyond that
-Course in their books that only happen every other year or not at all
-Long term sub issues, the school may not have other teachers to teach the subject area

Wow, this is pretty comprehensive. However, I would submit that a lot of this applies to public schools, too.

Wow, this list is spot-on.
We were a long-term public family and did not find these cons to be true at public.
Very much true at our Big3 private.

Advanced classes are definitely gate-kept---even if your kid has an A in a prior course. It may not be "a high enough A" and other such BS. I wish I had known this before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have done both private and public, they both have pluses and minuses.

The Cons of private schools are as follow:
-Gatekeeping of advance classes and where you apply.
-Influence some kids that there course work is too rigorous and others that it isn't rigorous enough
-You don't know what the school is teaching or helping students to accomplish vs. the parents tutoring. Lots of kids tutored in academics and coached in sports
-Attitude that they no what is best, perfect or can do no wrong
-Teachers who are only there so their kid can get free tuition
-Teachers who attended private schools growing up and have zero real experience dealing with diverse cultures
-Paying for textbooks on top of tuition. Often to find out you don't need it or your teacher gives you a digital copy
-Only one teacher who teaches a class/level so you may not be able to avoid the teacher
-Although they have a lot of APs, there is usually only one or two sessions leading to scheduling conflicts
-Treating your kid like a statistic versus an individual
-Not keeping up with changing times - dual enrollment, online course. Kids should be able to take almost any class.
-If you aren't a high donor, gifted athlete, or some hook for attending top schools then you are somehow not as important
-Find the best fit school for college but mainly feature and celebrate Ivy League attendees
-How much they have APs but showcase scores / AP scholars, AP scores and 3+ pass rates
-Clique students and parents
-Parents maneuvering to have their keep become friends with key, well off or influential families
-Parents making 200K, driving high end cards, visiting their parents second home on the beach while getting financial aide from the school. A lot of financial aid goes to wealth family and doesn't really help with economic or racial equity
-If you are a minority assuming you are from another country or if you are Black or Hispanic that you are on scholarship
-Insensitive faculty and families that aren't inclusive of (insert any group you want here)
-0 diversity of staff but talk a lot about diversity and claim to be diverse
-If you can't attend all of your kids events then you are an unfit parent
-Giving beyond tuition and then extra giving events beyond that
-Course in their books that only happen every other year or not at all
-Long term sub issues, the school may not have other teachers to teach the subject area

Wow, this is pretty comprehensive. However, I would submit that a lot of this applies to public schools, too.

Wow, this list is spot-on.
We were a long-term public family and did not find these cons to be true at public.
Very much true at our Big3 private.

Advanced classes are definitely gate-kept---even if your kid has an A in a prior course. It may not be "a high enough A" and other such BS. I wish I had known this before.

Can any student take advanced-level / AP classes in public?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have done both private and public, they both have pluses and minuses.

The Cons of private schools are as follow:
-Gatekeeping of advance classes and where you apply.
-Influence some kids that there course work is too rigorous and others that it isn't rigorous enough
-You don't know what the school is teaching or helping students to accomplish vs. the parents tutoring. Lots of kids tutored in academics and coached in sports
-Attitude that they no what is best, perfect or can do no wrong
-Teachers who are only there so their kid can get free tuition
-Teachers who attended private schools growing up and have zero real experience dealing with diverse cultures
-Paying for textbooks on top of tuition. Often to find out you don't need it or your teacher gives you a digital copy
-Only one teacher who teaches a class/level so you may not be able to avoid the teacher
-Although they have a lot of APs, there is usually only one or two sessions leading to scheduling conflicts
-Treating your kid like a statistic versus an individual
-Not keeping up with changing times - dual enrollment, online course. Kids should be able to take almost any class.
-If you aren't a high donor, gifted athlete, or some hook for attending top schools then you are somehow not as important
-Find the best fit school for college but mainly feature and celebrate Ivy League attendees
-How much they have APs but showcase scores / AP scholars, AP scores and 3+ pass rates
-Clique students and parents
-Parents maneuvering to have their keep become friends with key, well off or influential families
-Parents making 200K, driving high end cards, visiting their parents second home on the beach while getting financial aide from the school. A lot of financial aid goes to wealth family and doesn't really help with economic or racial equity
-If you are a minority assuming you are from another country or if you are Black or Hispanic that you are on scholarship
-Insensitive faculty and families that aren't inclusive of (insert any group you want here)
-0 diversity of staff but talk a lot about diversity and claim to be diverse
-If you can't attend all of your kids events then you are an unfit parent
-Giving beyond tuition and then extra giving events beyond that
-Course in their books that only happen every other year or not at all
-Long term sub issues, the school may not have other teachers to teach the subject area

Wow, this is pretty comprehensive. However, I would submit that a lot of this applies to public schools, too.

Wow, this list is spot-on.
We were a long-term public family and did not find these cons to be true at public.
Very much true at our Big3 private.

Advanced classes are definitely gate-kept---even if your kid has an A in a prior course. It may not be "a high enough A" and other such BS. I wish I had known this before.

Can any student take advanced-level / AP classes in public?

Yes.
Any kid can sign up for any AP class at any time. There is zero barrier to entry except for room in the class. However, at places like Wilson/Jackson Reed they will run AP classes of 40+ kids so space is not usually an issue either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have done both private and public, they both have pluses and minuses.

The Cons of private schools are as follow:
-Gatekeeping of advance classes and where you apply.
-Influence some kids that there course work is too rigorous and others that it isn't rigorous enough
-You don't know what the school is teaching or helping students to accomplish vs. the parents tutoring. Lots of kids tutored in academics and coached in sports
-Attitude that they no what is best, perfect or can do no wrong
-Teachers who are only there so their kid can get free tuition
-Teachers who attended private schools growing up and have zero real experience dealing with diverse cultures
-Paying for textbooks on top of tuition. Often to find out you don't need it or your teacher gives you a digital copy
-Only one teacher who teaches a class/level so you may not be able to avoid the teacher
-Although they have a lot of APs, there is usually only one or two sessions leading to scheduling conflicts
-Treating your kid like a statistic versus an individual
-Not keeping up with changing times - dual enrollment, online course. Kids should be able to take almost any class.
-If you aren't a high donor, gifted athlete, or some hook for attending top schools then you are somehow not as important
-Find the best fit school for college but mainly feature and celebrate Ivy League attendees
-How much they have APs but showcase scores / AP scholars, AP scores and 3+ pass rates
-Clique students and parents
-Parents maneuvering to have their keep become friends with key, well off or influential families
-Parents making 200K, driving high end cards, visiting their parents second home on the beach while getting financial aide from the school. A lot of financial aid goes to wealth family and doesn't really help with economic or racial equity
-If you are a minority assuming you are from another country or if you are Black or Hispanic that you are on scholarship
-Insensitive faculty and families that aren't inclusive of (insert any group you want here)
-0 diversity of staff but talk a lot about diversity and claim to be diverse
-If you can't attend all of your kids events then you are an unfit parent
-Giving beyond tuition and then extra giving events beyond that
-Course in their books that only happen every other year or not at all
-Long term sub issues, the school may not have other teachers to teach the subject area

Wow, this is pretty comprehensive. However, I would submit that a lot of this applies to public schools, too.

Wow, this list is spot-on.
We were a long-term public family and did not find these cons to be true at public.
Very much true at our Big3 private.

Advanced classes are definitely gate-kept---even if your kid has an A in a prior course. It may not be "a high enough A" and other such BS. I wish I had known this before.

+! Happened to my daughter at her private HS. She wrote an email to several administrators advocating for why she should be allowed an opportunity to take an advanced class and was told by a brand new to the school counselor "No". They did not even have a discussion with her to listen to her case. Unbelievable even when she pointed out to them she knows of others were the rules did not apply and she was asking for the same opportunity they were given.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have done both private and public, they both have pluses and minuses.

The Cons of private schools are as follow:
-Gatekeeping of advance classes and where you apply.
-Influence some kids that there course work is too rigorous and others that it isn't rigorous enough
-You don't know what the school is teaching or helping students to accomplish vs. the parents tutoring. Lots of kids tutored in academics and coached in sports
-Attitude that they no what is best, perfect or can do no wrong
-Teachers who are only there so their kid can get free tuition
-Teachers who attended private schools growing up and have zero real experience dealing with diverse cultures
-Paying for textbooks on top of tuition. Often to find out you don't need it or your teacher gives you a digital copy
-Only one teacher who teaches a class/level so you may not be able to avoid the teacher
-Although they have a lot of APs, there is usually only one or two sessions leading to scheduling conflicts
-Treating your kid like a statistic versus an individual
-Not keeping up with changing times - dual enrollment, online course. Kids should be able to take almost any class.
-If you aren't a high donor, gifted athlete, or some hook for attending top schools then you are somehow not as important
-Find the best fit school for college but mainly feature and celebrate Ivy League attendees
-How much they have APs but showcase scores / AP scholars, AP scores and 3+ pass rates
-Clique students and parents
-Parents maneuvering to have their keep become friends with key, well off or influential families
-Parents making 200K, driving high end cards, visiting their parents second home on the beach while getting financial aide from the school. A lot of financial aid goes to wealth family and doesn't really help with economic or racial equity
-If you are a minority assuming you are from another country or if you are Black or Hispanic that you are on scholarship
-Insensitive faculty and families that aren't inclusive of (insert any group you want here)
-0 diversity of staff but talk a lot about diversity and claim to be diverse
-If you can't attend all of your kids events then you are an unfit parent
-Giving beyond tuition and then extra giving events beyond that
-Course in their books that only happen every other year or not at all
-Long term sub issues, the school may not have other teachers to teach the subject area

Wow, this is pretty comprehensive. However, I would submit that a lot of this applies to public schools, too.

Wow, this list is spot-on.
We were a long-term public family and did not find these cons to be true at public.
Very much true at our Big3 private.

Advanced classes are definitely gate-kept---even if your kid has an A in a prior course. It may not be "a high enough A" and other such BS. I wish I had known this before.

Can any student take advanced-level / AP classes in public?

Yes.
Any kid can sign up for any AP class at any time. There is zero barrier to entry except for room in the class. However, at places like Wilson/Jackson Reed they will run AP classes of 40+ kids so space is not usually an issue either.

No prerequisites for anything, either? Anyone can sign up for AP Calculus BC out of the blue, for example, without any required prerequisites?

[Anonymous]

Unless K-12, the need to reapply to get to secondary or high school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have done both private and public, they both have pluses and minuses.

The Cons of private schools are as follow:
-Gatekeeping of advance classes and where you apply.
-Influence some kids that there course work is too rigorous and others that it isn't rigorous enough
-You don't know what the school is teaching or helping students to accomplish vs. the parents tutoring. Lots of kids tutored in academics and coached in sports
-Attitude that they no what is best, perfect or can do no wrong
-Teachers who are only there so their kid can get free tuition
-Teachers who attended private schools growing up and have zero real experience dealing with diverse cultures
-Paying for textbooks on top of tuition. Often to find out you don't need it or your teacher gives you a digital copy
-Only one teacher who teaches a class/level so you may not be able to avoid the teacher
-Although they have a lot of APs, there is usually only one or two sessions leading to scheduling conflicts
-Treating your kid like a statistic versus an individual
-Not keeping up with changing times - dual enrollment, online course. Kids should be able to take almost any class.
-If you aren't a high donor, gifted athlete, or some hook for attending top schools then you are somehow not as important
-Find the best fit school for college but mainly feature and celebrate Ivy League attendees
-How much they have APs but showcase scores / AP scholars, AP scores and 3+ pass rates
-Clique students and parents
-Parents maneuvering to have their keep become friends with key, well off or influential families
-Parents making 200K, driving high end cards, visiting their parents second home on the beach while getting financial aide from the school. A lot of financial aid goes to wealth family and doesn't really help with economic or racial equity
-If you are a minority assuming you are from another country or if you are Black or Hispanic that you are on scholarship
-Insensitive faculty and families that aren't inclusive of (insert any group you want here)
-0 diversity of staff but talk a lot about diversity and claim to be diverse
-If you can't attend all of your kids events then you are an unfit parent
-Giving beyond tuition and then extra giving events beyond that
-Course in their books that only happen every other year or not at all
-Long term sub issues, the school may not have other teachers to teach the subject area

Wow, this is pretty comprehensive. However, I would submit that a lot of this applies to public schools, too.

Wow, this list is spot-on.
We were a long-term public family and did not find these cons to be true at public.
Very much true at our Big3 private.

Advanced classes are definitely gate-kept---even if your kid has an A in a prior course. It may not be "a high enough A" and other such BS. I wish I had known this before.

Can any student take advanced-level / AP classes in public?

Yes.
Any kid can sign up for any AP class at any time. There is zero barrier to entry except for room in the class. However, at places like Wilson/Jackson Reed they will run AP classes of 40+ kids so space is not usually an issue either.

No prerequisites for anything, either? Anyone can sign up for AP Calculus BC out of the blue, for example, without any required prerequisites?

Correct.