My kid isn't getting in

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, thanks for not blaming the URM boogeyman like most of the grievance-,filled DCUM posters do when their DC doesn't get admitted to his/ her college of choice.

God damn it. Some of you act like admissions standards aren't quantifiably lower for URMs and first gens. The data is readily available: they are. And each of those acceptances means one fewer acceptance for students -- many of them sons and daughters of people who post here -- not in favored demographic groups but with much higher stats. It's bull crap. And just to preempt the response I'm sure is coming, yes, legacies have gotten the same favorable treatment for many years. That's bull crap too.

A poor brown kid did not steal your kid’s spot. Try harder next time.

Exactly. The entitlement burns.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Help him find a way to get excited about UMD. Consider this post the end of your pity party. Tell home the $ saved on tuition can be used for Spring Break trips!

+1. I'm sure that, by the time classes start in the fall, he'll forget all about the shortage of options. Instead, he'll embrace being at a great school -- UMD CP!

Many students don't even have the stats to apply there. It's pretty awesome that he's been admitted there!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I say no choices I mean- his only choice is CP. It will certainly get the job done. But he is left feeling like a failure and a loser going to the only school he got into instead of someone who was wanted by multiple schools and got to pick his best fit (which would probably still be CP). It would make his 4 years in CP much better knowing it was a choice to be there.

So, this happened to me (but many years ago when UMD was not as selective as it is now). I got into the Honors program and was convinced I would transfer. Turned out to be the best choice I could make- really strong in my somewhat unusual major, made terrific lifelong friends, and had a lot of $$ to pay for graduate school. I remember the pain your DS is feeling, but in my case the regret really didn’t last.

[Anonymous]

Yes, the admissions process is insane - but it's not an evaluation of your child as a person. He is not a 90%. His stats are probably around 98-99% but even his stats are just stats. To some degree, these colleges are like clubs. Getting in or not getting in doesn't set you for life.

I had three kids. For the record, we are URM. One had a bunch of admissions to selective schools. The others had disappointing results. As a matter of fact, two of my daughters applied to the same school, the same year: one as a freshman and the other as a transfer. The freshman got in but it was one out of many schools where she was accepted. Her sister - who would have LOVED to attend - did not. My youngest wanted a small, liberal arts school and ended up at a huge city school because she was only admitted to huge schools.

We also needed financial aid and, yes, I think that made a big difference.

I'm sorry for the disappointment. Your kid sounds like a great student and Maryland - or wherever he goes - will be lucky to call him an alum.

[Anonymous]

21:40 here - One other thing: The sister who did not get into the school, the sister who ended up at a big university, now earns probably twice as much as the sister who attended the highly selective 'lottery' school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The difference between one big public flagship university and another is not too great. The difference in experience between that and a small private is huge. It sounds like OP's kid wanted a small private and they didn't apply low enough on the selectivity scale. Leaving him stuck with a big public experience he was trying to avoid.

Lets be honest. Public school sucks compared to private school. (I went public through grad school and my kids are in public now). I'm sad because a kidlike that could have gotten decent merit at a lower ranked private like Macalester or Oberlin.

I think a lot of people would disagree. We had the funds for our kids to go anywhere that they could get admitted. Both both are choosing to focus on big state schools -- they just don't want to be at a small private school, especially my son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OK here's the brutal truth. My kid is a 90% kid who thinks he's a 99% kid. 1500 SAT. 4.5W GPA with a solid rigor- 11 APs but not in hard science or math. He got into Scholars but not Honors at college park. Rejected from UVA. Neither outcome was unexpected, but both still hurt.

We paid for test prep. We paid for a college counselor. We paid for editors for the essay. We did not pay for private K-12. So recs were from public school teachers and administrators who are overworked and can't really glow even if they want to. We filled out a FAFSA.

He's getting rejected or deferred from everywhere (elite publics and privates) except safety schools. I know, it happens. I know we should have been prepared for this. It has to happen to someone.

And as special as my kid is, being 90th percentile in a world of 99.9th percentile can be a crappy feeling. Add to that not being full pay, not being a legacy, and not being a recruited athlete. I wish I could undo the last two years. I wish I could reset as the goal getting admitted to the state flagship and other out of state publics that offer merit aid and call it a day. That's good enough and trying to shoot for more is a dream that is largely reserved for the extra-brilliant, or the upper crust.

If I could do it over I would have him apply to Miami of Ohio and Wisconsin and Pitt and the other public schools that take a lot of kids from this area instead of all these crazy expensive private schools with much smaller classes where kids like him applying are a dime a dozen. At the time he didn't want to because he knew College Park is a better school than all these options. So he'd rather cast a wide net with the more selective private schools. But now it's coming down to the wire and it really feels like he will literally have NO choices. I am regretting his whole strategy. I just hope similar parents out there can hear this and inform their own choices.

This right here is the problem. You can’t compete at the top schools without taking hard math and science (and for others who may be reading, tell your kid to take that 4th year of a foreign language in high school.). Too many other kids are and it gives admissions counselors a really quick and clear reason to ding an application as they try to pare down the numbers. And if you truly are a Humanities/Social Science kid then you need to do something extra to stand out and compensate for your weaker math and science.

I’m sorry your kid is experiencing this OP. It’s a tough pill to swallow. But he sounds like a smart and hardworking kid and that will take him far in life. Let him know how proud you are support him 100%.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry OP! But why such hate for UMD? Lots of kids got rejected by UmD this year. I get you have a high stats kid and hoped to get into a selective school. But unfortunately, high stats are not enough. 3 years ago my kid 1580 SAt, 800 on physics, math2, history, 15 APs and 2 beyond AP classes, software entrepreneur, rejected by MIT, Stanford, CMU, Cornell, Penn and Princeton. Only got acceptance from his safety schools UMD, Michigan and Georgia Tech. All honors. My nephew had a similar story, high stats but rejected everywhere. He was beyond depressed when he realized other lower stats kids getting into these schools. That was it for me. For me DC2, we didn’t apply to any school with less than 30% acceptance rate and it has been good so far!
Hang in there. It will be fine. UMD is a good school. Goal is to get an education… it will be met

This is almost the same as my friend's son, SAT 1600, 15 APs all 5, Presidential service award, sports team captain, cello first chair, rejected from dream schools Stanford, MIT, CMU and other top schools, only got accepted from his safety UVA. It took more than a year for the parents and kid to recover from the disappointment.

That's kind of messed up. It took a year for the parents and kid to recover?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry OP! But why such hate for UMD? Lots of kids got rejected by UmD this year. I get you have a high stats kid and hoped to get into a selective school. But unfortunately, high stats are not enough. 3 years ago my kid 1580 SAt, 800 on physics, math2, history, 15 APs and 2 beyond AP classes, software entrepreneur, rejected by MIT, Stanford, CMU, Cornell, Penn and Princeton. Only got acceptance from his safety schools UMD, Michigan and Georgia Tech. All honors. My nephew had a similar story, high stats but rejected everywhere. He was beyond depressed when he realized other lower stats kids getting into these schools. That was it for me. For me DC2, we didn’t apply to any school with less than 30% acceptance rate and it has been good so far!
Hang in there. It will be fine. UMD is a good school. Goal is to get an education… it will be met

This is almost the same as my friend's son, SAT 1600, 15 APs all 5, Presidential service award, sports team captain, cello first chair, rejected from dream schools Stanford, MIT, CMU and other top schools, only got accepted from his safety UVA. It took more than a year for the parents and kid to recover from the disappointment.

That's kind of messed up. It took a year for the parents and kid to recover?

I believe it took them that long. It is not messed up. You have no clue because you don't have a high achieving kid like that who worked his a@@ off for YEARS to get top grades and scores. You think achieving academic success like that is easy? Of course they were disappointed. Their reaction is entirely expected and quite human. If they weren't disappointed I would be amazed. You know nothing about this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I say no choices I mean- his only choice is CP. It will certainly get the job done. But he is left feeling like a failure and a loser going to the only school he got into instead of someone who was wanted by multiple schools and got to pick his best fit (which would probably still be CP). It would make his 4 years in CP much better knowing it was a choice to be there.

What? He is only feeling like a loser as his mom had sprung on some narrative that UMD is a school for losers. What the heck is wrong with you???
UMD is an excellent school that he should have jumped for join when he got it.
This poor kid is feeling like a reject BCS he has an insane mom!

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry about your sons disappointment. Those stats are very nigh, in my opinion. I don’t know kids aren’t getting into these schools if those stats don’t.

What’s a hook? Sports? Alumni?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry OP! But why such hate for UMD? Lots of kids got rejected by UmD this year. I get you have a high stats kid and hoped to get into a selective school. But unfortunately, high stats are not enough. 3 years ago my kid 1580 SAt, 800 on physics, math2, history, 15 APs and 2 beyond AP classes, software entrepreneur, rejected by MIT, Stanford, CMU, Cornell, Penn and Princeton. Only got acceptance from his safety schools UMD, Michigan and Georgia Tech. All honors. My nephew had a similar story, high stats but rejected everywhere. He was beyond depressed when he realized other lower stats kids getting into these schools. That was it for me. For me DC2, we didn’t apply to any school with less than 30% acceptance rate and it has been good so far!
Hang in there. It will be fine. UMD is a good school. Goal is to get an education… it will be met

This is almost the same as my friend's son, SAT 1600, 15 APs all 5, Presidential service award, sports team captain, cello first chair, rejected from dream schools Stanford, MIT, CMU and other top schools, only got accepted from his safety UVA. It took more than a year for the parents and kid to recover from the disappointment.

That's kind of messed up. It took a year for the parents and kid to recover?

I believe it took them that long. It is not messed up. You have no clue because you don't have a high achieving kid like that who worked his a@@ off for YEARS to get top grades and scores. You think achieving academic success like that is easy? Of course they were disappointed. Their reaction is entirely expected and quite human. If they weren't disappointed I would be amazed. You know nothing about this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OK here's the brutal truth. My kid is a 90% kid who thinks he's a 99% kid. 1500 SAT. 4.5W GPA with a solid rigor- 11 APs but not in hard science or math. He got into Scholars but not Honors at college park. Rejected from UVA. Neither outcome was unexpected, but both still hurt.

We paid for test prep. We paid for a college counselor. We paid for editors for the essay. We did not pay for private K-12. So recs were from public school teachers and administrators who are overworked and can't really glow even if they want to. We filled out a FAFSA.

He's getting rejected or deferred from everywhere (elite publics and privates) except safety schools. I know, it happens. I know we should have been prepared for this. It has to happen to someone.

And as special as my kid is, being 90th percentile in a world of 99.9th percentile can be a crappy feeling. Add to that not being full pay, not being a legacy, and not being a recruited athlete. I wish I could undo the last two years. I wish I could reset as the goal getting admitted to the state flagship and other out of state publics that offer merit aid and call it a day. That's good enough and trying to shoot for more is a dream that is largely reserved for the extra-brilliant, or the upper crust.

If I could do it over I would have him apply to Miami of Ohio and Wisconsin and Pitt and the other public schools that take a lot of kids from this area instead of all these crazy expensive private schools with much smaller classes where kids like him applying are a dime a dozen. At the time he didn't want to because he knew College Park is a better school than all these options. So he'd rather cast a wide net with the more selective private schools. But now it's coming down to the wire and it really feels like he will literally have NO choices. I am regretting his whole strategy. I just hope similar parents out there can hear this and inform their own choices.

This right here is the problem. You can’t compete at the top schools without taking hard math and science (and for others who may be reading, tell your kid to take that 4th year of a foreign language in high school.). Too many other kids are and it gives admissions counselors a really quick and clear reason to ding an application as they try to pare down the numbers. And if you truly are a Humanities/Social Science kid then you need to do something extra to stand out and compensate for your weaker math and science.

I’m sorry your kid is experiencing this OP. It’s a tough pill to swallow. But he sounds like a smart and hardworking kid and that will take him far in life. Let him know how proud you are support him 100%.

I am thinking OP's college strategy might be at fault here. Did OP's kid apply to mostly T10, T15, or even T20 schools? T15 are lottery schools. With kids applying to 20 schools, T20s are becoming lotteries as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, thanks for not blaming the URM boogeyman like most of the grievance-,filled DCUM posters do when their DC doesn't get admitted to his/ her college of choice.

God damn it. Some of you act like admissions standards aren't quantifiably lower for URMs and first gens. The data is readily available: they are. And each of those acceptances means one fewer acceptance for students -- many of them sons and daughters of people who post here -- not in favored demographic groups but with much higher stats. It's bull crap. And just to preempt the response I'm sure is coming, yes, legacies have gotten the same favorable treatment for many years. That's bull crap too.

A poor brown kid did not steal your kid’s spot. Try harder next time.

Speaking as a moderate, capitalist white person who isn’t all that progressive about this stuff: The office DEI seminar was not my favorite. But I do want to live in a more just, less segregated society, and I wanted my son to go to schools with Black people in them. He wanted to go to a diverse university, for his own sake. If that sometimes takes some stats jiggling, them’s the breaks. But there are plenty of high-stats Black students out there. One of the best students in my son’s grade in elementary school was Black. She didn’t need any stats jiggled. But kids like that still have a hard time getting into T20 schools. The idea that any Black kid who passed Calculus can waltz into Harvard is wrong.

If some Black kids with meh stats do get into Harvard, maybe they’ll still do fine, and maybe they’ll provide psychological support for a high-stats Black kid. And maybe they’ll go on to help make the world a little more fair and go on to have higher stats kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s tough. I’m very sorry. My son was a very average kid, academically. It made it easier in a way. Applied to 12 schools, 10 were state flagships. He got into 10/12 schools and felt really good about himself for the first time in a long time (with respect to school). He attended a large state flagship and is doing very well in college.
My daughter is more of a 90 percentile kid. We will be steering her to similar schools as her brother, however, for a multitude of reasons including taking the damn pressure off a bit that is so woven into living in this area.

As I’m sure I’ll be asked, his schools:

Admitted (29 ACT and 3.4 GPA)
U of SC
Penn State (summer program)
Clemson (summer program)
Alabama
Auburn
Indiana
Ole Miss
UC Boulder
Pitt
TCU

Not admitted: Ohio State and U of GA

That’s awesome, PP. Good for him. Just out of curiosity, where did he decide to go?

I feel for OP’s son. I have a 10th grader who I think is going to be similar and I don’t think a big school would be a good fit so it’s going to be interesting. I commented on a few other recent threads that I feel like the kids in the top but not tippy top are then looking wt the same schools as kids with much lower stats. This PP here is a good example. Her son is in at a lot of schools that people are saying are the kind of ones OP’s kid and similar kids should be planning on, and they aren’t bad schools, but why are the kids working so hard for their 4.4 and their 11 APs if they can get in w/o and a 3.4???

To work on getting a great high school education?

You don't need 11 APs for a great HS education. Honestly, after seeing how this plays out and the fact that my junior DD would be really happy at several less competitive LACs that would meet our budget, I've really been encouraging her to put more balance in her schedule. Insisted on only 3 APs in junior year and I'd like her to stick with that senior year. It's plenty. She has ADHD and works like crazy with this schedule.

That's true. You don't need SAT 1550+, 10+ APs, countless EC hours to get into UVA or UMD.

Don’t you though? For uva?

+1. I don’t think the PP has kept up with what it takes today to get into UVA if not URM, first-generation, Questbridge, Blue Ridge Scholar, low income from poorer counties in VA, legacy, full pay international … and the list just keeps going on.