I didn't fully comprehend the cost of eldercare

[Anonymous]

My dad is 90 and being released from rehab tomorrow, which is great. But he now has significant mobility issues and wants 24/7 care. He wants to be at home. I knew this wouls be expensive but am shocked at how expensive it is. We are hoping he can eventually transition away from overnight care.

I am struggling to understand how this amount of money is worth staying in your own home. I hope future old me makes a different choice.

No LTC insurance (but heard mixed reviews in whether this is worth it). Doesn't qualify for medicaid.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry.
You'll here half the population saying "shouldn't an old person be able to just stay in their own home" vs. the other half that will say "this is how you move the elderly out and make homes available for new generations."

[Anonymous]

*oops hear

[Anonymous]

I don't have advice here but it's something I dread. My parents live 600 miles away and I am an only child. They are healthy but rabidly insist they will stay in their home. They can afford it, but seem to forget the logistics and engagement required on behalf of family to make this actually work, which I can not do from several states away. It is a really crappy position to put adult kids in to be inflexible about aging realities.

How much is it?

[Anonymous]

I have a relative with 24/7 home care and they’re spending north of $350,000/year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't have advice here but it's something I dread. My parents live 600 miles away and I am an only child. They are healthy but rabidly insist they will stay in their home. They can afford it, but seem to forget the logistics and engagement required on behalf of family to make this actually work, which I can not do from several states away. It is a really crappy position to put adult kids in to be inflexible about aging realities.

How much is it?

Oof I so sympathize - mine live in the other side of the world and I can’t speak the language well. They’ve lost their English. Also an only.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry.
You'll here half the population saying "shouldn't an old person be able to just stay in their own home" vs. the other half that will say "this is how you move the elderly out and make homes available for new generations."

It's not even about making those houses available (which is pretty gross). It's about a realistic approach to making sure people get the medical, personal, and social attention they need

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't have advice here but it's something I dread. My parents live 600 miles away and I am an only child. They are healthy but rabidly insist they will stay in their home. They can afford it, but seem to forget the logistics and engagement required on behalf of family to make this actually work, which I can not do from several states away. It is a really crappy position to put adult kids in to be inflexible about aging realities.

How much is it?

240K plus. He is in Phoenix, so i guess that helps somewhat. Not in a HCOL area. He can afford it now but my brother and him habe to have a convo with him about how long he can afford it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't have advice here but it's something I dread. My parents live 600 miles away and I am an only child. They are healthy but rabidly insist they will stay in their home. They can afford it, but seem to forget the logistics and engagement required on behalf of family to make this actually work, which I can not do from several states away. It is a really crappy position to put adult kids in to be inflexible about aging realities.

How much is it?

240K plus. He is in Phoenix, so i guess that helps somewhat. Not in a HCOL area. He can afford it now but my brother and him habe to have a convo with him about how long he can afford it.

Oh yeah also wanted to comment. I clearly live 2k miles away. My brother is close but its hard to help from over here. And my dad is not the best at sharing information.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't have advice here but it's something I dread. My parents live 600 miles away and I am an only child. They are healthy but rabidly insist they will stay in their home. They can afford it, but seem to forget the logistics and engagement required on behalf of family to make this actually work, which I can not do from several states away. It is a really crappy position to put adult kids in to be inflexible about aging realities.

How much is it?

240K plus. He is in Phoenix, so i guess that helps somewhat. Not in a HCOL area. He can afford it now but my brother and him habe to have a convo with him about how long he can afford it.

Wow cant type. Sorry meant to say my brother and I have to have a convo with my dad

[Anonymous]

This is why my plan is to kill myself if I get in this situation. I’d rather leave my money to my kids than burn through it all myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why my plan is to kill myself if I get in this situation. I’d rather leave my money to my kids than burn through it all myself.

Yeah I mean there ia a selfish side of me that says "you have two grandkids going to college in the new few years" lol. But I mean it is his money so it is what it is.

Part of me just worries what happens if he runs out. Then what do we do. I am going in August so going to try to talk then, just hard. Especially since he can't actually hear me ...

[Anonymous]

Yeah what do families do when the money runs out?

The next generation goes into debt?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry.
You'll here half the population saying "shouldn't an old person be able to just stay in their own home" vs. the other half that will say "this is how you move the elderly out and make homes available for new generations."

I don’t understand this “moving the elderly” reasoning. They are living in their own houses that they pay/ paid for and invested in. Apart from cost of care, they shouldn’t be moved just to make houses available for new generations. Luckily, These are not public provided housing that the state can just move the elderly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah what do families do when the money runs out?

The next generation goes into debt?

The elderly person goes on Medicaid and into a Medicaid bed in a nursing home.